March 07, 2005

inconsistent

For someone who thrives on constancy, I’ve been unbelievably random lately.

My usual grocery store pattern (yogurt-canned goods-produce) has been replaced with aimless meandering and uninspired purchases. I either come home empty handed (except for day-old Portuguese bread) or with bags full of things that do not go together. Cereal, no milk. Hamburger buns with nothing to fill them. Frozen peas. I don’t even like peas, for god’s sake.

It’s not just my grocery routine that’s wonky. Everything is a smidge off center. There are dishes in my sink. I got caught staring, glassy-eyed, at the ceiling tiles at work. I haven’t blogged in days. The madness! It’s like I don’t even know me anymore!

I’d be concerned if I were not fairly certain I went through the same sort of personality rebellion last year while waiting for The Springtime that Would Never Come. Everything in my being revolts against winter; there’s really only so much of it I can take. It’s charming in December. By January, I’m lusting over Orbitz.com’s last minute vacation packages. And by February, I’m feeling insanely jealous of those woodland creatures that just miss the whole season entirely.

I don’t know how old I was when I first learned about hibernation -- you know, bears and the like eating themselves silly and then sleeping for a few months until it stops being wretchedly cold. All I know is that I was a little resentful that not all mammals got to participate. I’ve probably never really gotten over that resentment. Case in point: I slept all day on Saturday. All day. I didn’t leave my bed until 7pm. And when I did, it was to take one of those confusing, pointless trips to the grocery store.

Upon consideration, it’s probably a good thing I’m not one of the bears. Saltines and OJ would make poor fuel for hibernation.

In any event, I hope this passes. My younger self would bitch-slap me for saying this, but I really do miss being predictable.

Posted by This Fish at March 7, 2005 12:56 PM
Comments

You know, I've been feeling like that too. It could be the winter blues, the moon's gravity, or aliens probing our brains.

Posted by: mrsmogul at March 7, 2005 01:18 PM

Part of me wishes you weren't going through this blah stage because I hate for people to feel not happy, but another part of me is glad to know that I'm not the only one who's been feeling like this lately. At least it's March now...spring is just around the corner.

Posted by: Ashleigh at March 7, 2005 01:24 PM

"wonky." that is a new word in my vocabulary and i plan on using it soon. hilarious!

Posted by: red at March 7, 2005 01:28 PM

talk about things being off...it's like 60 degrees outside today and BEAUTIFUL!!!

hope you're enjoying this gorgeous day

Posted by: ak at March 7, 2005 01:36 PM

Winter in New York. Gotta love it. On the other hand, it feels SOOOOO good in a few weeks when the back of it breaks and a scent of new season presses through - trust me on this one.

Posted by: Linus at March 7, 2005 01:50 PM

Yep this weather has got to break soon! My friend and I are both having a fat day too...make it stop!!!!!

Posted by: Robin Alexa at March 7, 2005 01:53 PM

or you could be like me and feel that way all the time. then you'd have nothing to compare it to. of course it helps when your shrink changes meds on you and the new one hasn't caught up with what the old one's dropped off.

hope you feel better soon.

Posted by: ropedancer at March 7, 2005 01:57 PM

Spring here is at least two months away. Right now it's snowing heavily and I'm wondering how I can get in on this golbal warming I keep hearing about. A self-medication regime that's indistiguisable from hibernation is starting to look like a good option.

Hang in there, like brick-wall/forehead activities it'll feel so good when it ends.

Posted by: Coelecanth at March 7, 2005 02:32 PM

Makes me feel a little better that i'm not the only one. The end always feels like the hardest for me....i can see the light ahead...but fuck it- i just wanna be there already. everything in its time. Anyway, enjoy today, it will never happen again

Posted by: E at March 7, 2005 02:54 PM

I like to think that some day soon it will be wonderful to go out again...in the meantime though, I'm having fun planning my imaginary move to Atlanta :)
You should try that. It's comforting.

Posted by: annush at March 7, 2005 02:57 PM

At least I'm not the only one....:D

Anyway I'm glad you've blogged again. I was getting scared :-P

Posted by: ~!dAnNy!~ at March 7, 2005 03:52 PM

Come with me to sunny California next week.

Posted by: Frankenstein at March 7, 2005 04:35 PM

Been there; done that. I've been feeling grumpy and disconnected for a good month now. But today, with a touch of spring, starting to feel it lift.

Hope you're out of the doldrums soon Fish.

But, even when I'm in an up mood, I might be caught with dishes in the sink. LOL

Posted by: ladylion at March 7, 2005 04:53 PM

cheer up, honey! today was beautiful and it's supposed to get better from here on out. before you know it you'll be calling in sick to go to the beach!

Posted by: patches at March 7, 2005 05:32 PM

High 70's, low 80's all week! God how I love living in Arizona!

Posted by: Barry at March 7, 2005 05:39 PM

Was it not insanely warm in New York today? It was 68 in Philadelphia. I just got in from wandering around jacket-free.

Posted by: jennn at March 7, 2005 06:46 PM

Maybe you're pregnant

Posted by: lizzy at March 7, 2005 07:11 PM

Highly unlikely. Unless you're talking about something along the lines of The Immaculate Conception II: Revenge of the Baby Jesus

Posted by: Fish at March 7, 2005 07:16 PM

That's Hot!

Posted by: ParisHilton at March 7, 2005 07:22 PM

And this happens to me every year. Winter sucks.

Posted by: Lisa M at March 7, 2005 10:32 PM

i wish i could complain abt it being cold. its barely march and its H-O-T here in india. the thought of getting all the sunblock on and leaving home is altogether unappealing and depresses me no end

Posted by: the other side of the rainbow at March 8, 2005 12:45 AM

Well Fish, I hope that you got outside today. It was pretty spectacular here in NY. The nice weather is coming... I just know it.

But I certainly can relate to thise mindless meanderings in food stores. I go into extra nice groceries - like Whole Foods - and I get OVERWHELMED! (We call them "FOOD MUSEUMS") Everything looks so nice and fancy, and then I just can't face it... and I leave empty-handed!

Posted by: Last Girl On Earth at March 8, 2005 01:36 AM

Spring is arriving somewhere, sometimes you just have to go find it. By the way, it was sunny and low 80s in Palm Springs on Monday, and could reach the 90s by the end of the week.

Sorry to rub it in. It's such a burden to live in paradise.

Posted by: G-man at March 8, 2005 02:07 AM

fish, and you think you have shopping problems? consider the lowly Georgia male ....

Posted by: eddie at March 8, 2005 03:45 AM

No sign of spring coming any time soon here! It snowed all of last week in London!

ps... has anyone gotten their t-shirt yet?

Posted by: elise at March 8, 2005 04:14 AM

I wonder if the seasonal change produces the same reaction from summer to autumn down here in the Southern Hemisphere... Could explain why I've been a cranky bitch lately...

Huh... who needs an excuse.

Think I'll be more cheery in my pink T... providing it arrives before the seasonal change actually happens!!

Posted by: deeleea at March 8, 2005 06:06 AM

There certainly is a LOT to be said for mild seasons. I could never live in a cold country.

Give me flimsy dresses and flip flops over layers and layers of warm clothes any day!

Posted by: AdventureGirl at March 8, 2005 07:09 AM

after the last two days I humbly retract my last comment

Posted by: patches at March 9, 2005 02:13 PM