When I was a little kid, the worst – absolute worst – chore in the whole wide eight-year-old world was doing the dinner dishes. A family of seven produces an awful lot of plates, cups, flatware. I dreaded the night it was my turn.
Strangely, as a grown up, I might put off the chore, but I actually like doing dishes, when it comes down to it. I like that I can see immediate progress (Oh, look how much I’m accomplishing! All those shiny forks!) and the hot sudsy water is sort of relaxing. Like a productive manicure. Except, you know, with bright yellow gloves.
And when I was very small, the logistics of dish-washing made doing the job all the more heinous. Too small to reach the kitchen sink, I had to stand on The Stool (a carpet covered step my father made out on his workbench one day to facilitate all this child labor), and to avoid getting drenched in Dawny water, I wore one of my mother’s aprons.
To keep it from falling off, I wore it folded over at the waist, with its strings crisscrossed and wrapped around my body twice.
On Saturday, I took on the task of winterizing my apartment. Out came the second goose down comforter, the pumpkin spice candles and the humidifier -which needed cleaning. Knowing I’d need vinegar for the heating coil and bleach for the water tank, I grabbed an apron (my gift from Gloria Steinem) off its hook in the kitchen. Looping it over my head, I reached for the strings, wrapped them around my waist, crossed them in back and brought them back around to the front…where they wouldn’t tie in a bow.
I stared at my hands hovering at my waist, confused. How come?
Then I laughed. And wondered just how many other twenty-year old habits I have lurking in me. Quite a few, I imagine. Like, how every once in a while, when I’m stressed out or frightened, I catch myself whispering a prayer – to a god I don’t really believe in – just because it’s habit.
Grabbing the apron strings, I sucked in my stomach, tied a tight little knot (which I’d later have to undo by prying at it with a fork tine), and headed to the sink. Because I am stubborn. And that shit’s twenty-something years old, too.
ha, i remember doing dishes for my eight person family in an ancient soapstone sink. i had to stand on a stool and remember how my armpits ached because I had to lean on the edge of the sink to reach the water. kids today with their dishwashers and maids and whatnot… i tells you.
cute apron story! there’s something about dishes that I too, don’t seem to mind. the progress and instant results I think has something to do with it- agreed.
I have the same kind of little things like that that I do too just out of habit, and probably don’t realize I even do it. Checking my door locks (and under my bed, in the bath tub, etc.), kind of OCD-like. Making a wish at 11:11. Making sure to say “bless you” when someone sneezes. Twenty something years this has been going on and continues to get worse!
The only occasion I do use gloves ( yellow Hylon’s) is to remove the dead animals from my traps, we do refer to the following quality, fresh, balloon and pudding.
See getting the knot out with a fork – vicious OCD circle. Do you use a dirty fork? If you do then it dirties your apron and you have to take your apron off because you can’t accidentally let a dirty apron touch clean dishes. If you don’t have an apron on, you can’t do dishes. If you use a clean fork, then you have to keep washing it, because you can’t let a fork go from clean to apron without washing it again, because what if there was dirt you didn’t know about on the knot? Now you can’t ever take the apron off because you have to leave it on to clean that last fork, but you need the fork to get the apron off so you can stop doing dishes, but you can’t get it off without a fork. See, to an OCD sufferer, this little story of yours is better than Penthouse Letters.
I have read a book on creativity by an author named Roger Von Oech. I swear by him. He named the concept the Aslan concept. Rules that we still live by even though they no longer apply.
His story was that each day, he would run a specific route so that near his house, he would encounter a dog named Aslan, and pet the dog while he cooled down from his exercise. But what he found, was that, even after the dog had passed, or moved away, the author still found himself running the same route, even though the reason that dictated the route no longer applied. (Wow quite a run on sentence, but, I think, grammatically correct.)
Moral: What rules do we live by that may be hampering our processes that no longer apply?
Evil — HUH?!?!? What does your comment mean? I read it over 10 times and couldn’t figure it out — that’s my OCD kicking in.
and thought it was just me! I reread evil’s comment three times
Good afternoon H…that was a nice apron story…you have an awesome talent when it comes to telling a story…I can picture you standing there with the fork in hand…thanks for sharing the normal things…
by the way…a little birdie told me that you will have a visit from a delivery man…
Such a cute story. Your blog brightens my day and makes me think of all of the wonderful kitchen stories I have experienced with my grandmother growing up.
come do my dishes any day. apron not included.
My mother is an apron devotee, and I have a mental block on wearing one to this day, no matter how messy a kitchen task may be. I do still get down on hands and knees to wash the kitchen floor with a rag every christmas eve, however, per mom’s orders even though i cutrrently live 8 provinces away from her, so I am finding myself becoming more and more like her. But don’t tell Hubby I said that, I’ll deny it!
When I was a kid, doing the dishes included having a clean dish towel pinned on with a safty pin, the long way around your waist. It was very depressing day when the towel will not wrap all the way around, tho’.
I love aprons. Rule in our house is cooking is not allowed unless you’re wearing a great apron. My favorite is the huge one with a union jack printed on it.
Irrelevant, I know, but I felt like sharing…
Dishes and aprons and stools. All nice. Until I read Evil’s comment. I’m afraid of Evil.
Ahhhh…washing dishes!
What always comes to my mind is watching a “Shirley Temple” movie where she was washing dishes and when she got to the silverware she pretended they were “soldiers” who needed cleaned and washed.
It always makes me think of that….And besides, I always like to clean a soldier up now and then. *wink*
P.S
I think you KNOW God is there AND listening. You’re just choosing not to listen.
What a presumputous thing to say, Maria. Being agnostic or atheist doesn’t mean someone is in denial or ignoring “god.” That is ridiculous. And narrow minded.
It’s the habits from childhood that make us who we are. Childhood memories are so sweet even with a childhood as abusive as mine was, there were nice moments that are dear to me and thinking of a family in the kitchen brings a smile to my face. Thanks fish
I am in awe of people that own aprons, and even more so of those who do dishes by hand.
Please don’t refer to Gloria Steinem. She’d be embarassed for you.
I love the apron story. I prefer washing dishes by hand. I have a dishwasher and run it maybe once a month if I have friends in for dinner. I also wear an apron everyday,,,,Williams Sonoma aprons are the best.
I’m a freak about dishwashing. I CAN’T have dishes sit in my sink. I can be fall-down-drunk but STILL must do the dishes before I can go to bed. I often joke that the two biggest disappointments of my divorce were giving up the brand new refrigerator and the dishwasher.
I still feel that way. 10 years post facto.
Says something about the dishwashing, eh?
I think dishwashing has become a sport to my fiance and me…who can get the other person to do it, that is! I hate seeing dishes just sitting there…but refuse to give in when it’s his turn to do them. But then after a day or so, I just have to give in…but I take my revenge by making fish and telling him HE has to take out the trash…a totally smelly proposition! It’s probably why I have to do the dishes again the following time. Sigh. Revenge cycles.
Cute story! I don’t think all apron belts are equal. I have one that wraps around and ties in the front in a bow, but my waist is definitely much larger than yours.
The curent fave in my apron collection is solid black, and in large white letters across the top it says “Will Cook for Sex.” The best part is that I bought it while shopping with my pastor and his wife on a church retreat!
Hey Mark…
Bite me.
Hows that for narrow mindedness?
Maria,
Though not the words I would have chosen, I have to say I agree to some degree with Mark. I am not chosing not to listen to god. I don’t believe in him or her or whatever. I understand those who do believe, and have no wish to offend them EVER, but I would appreciate the preaching be saved for church, so that I may avoid it.
I honestly don’t mean to offend (Mark might, but whatevs), but I agree that such… conclusions about my spirituality should not be jumped to.
amen
In my humble opinion gloves are for protection, I nor my employer the civil service would like me to get infected or worse if there is some defense available.
I thought people wearing gloves while dishwashing to be extinct like the dinosours.
Such a cute story!
Rocco Yamamoto…not to be a witch but have you read the meeting Gloria Steinem post?
OMG, growing up I thought I was the only eight year old who’s parents were cruel enough to make her do dishes for a seven person family.
Im the youngest of 6 kids. Growing up we didnt have a dishwasher. It was torture!
Cute! And when is your 10th reunion? I connected at my 10th with a gal and we are still close 15 years later. I also went to it with my gay prom date. By then he had told me he was gay. That night, in fact.
I still think I am Romy in my mind. Or is that Michelle?
Oh, yes, we are all so that little child inside, just wonder who the old person in the mirror is
my sister and I had a similar conversation recently — we both still, even having lived on our own and away from our mother for at least 15 years, make our beds as soon as we get up for fear that something TERRIBLE will happen if we don’t and thoroughly wash all dishes before they go into the dishwaser. We caught each other doing both things and laughed out loud at how we do it all as if by rote.
and apron strings? I felt a strange and admitedly weird sense of accomplishment when I was able to actually tie said strings around my waist after wrapping them — meant I had lost weight — yippee!!
“…goose down comforter, the pumpkin spice candles and the humidifier…”
This really makes me want cold weather and snow.
I like washing dishes too, I always thought I was a bit strange.
Who in the heck was preaching? I made a simple statement.
I guess if someone makes a statement that they don’t believe in God, thats ok. But someone who does believe in God is preaching? Alrighty then!!
Someday, sometime, you just might need God in you’re life, so I wouldn’t cast him aside just yet.
If something (God forbid) would happen terrible to a family member, a sister, brother and all you had was hope, do you think you might finally look to God to help them or you? I guess you would just have to rely on “modern medicine” because what good would God do. I guess you couldn’t even hope for a miracle.
Ok, now that was preaching.
Forgive me.
Whoa. to change the subject, didn’t this post originally ‘air’ a couple of weeks ago? Or am I just having a TOTAL deja vu moment?
Step away from the bong. No, it didn’t.
I cant wait to hear about your reunion. Mine was this past weekend but I didnt go, and I heard it was a total flop. Did you have fun?
Great Story ..
Shivers…..bad memories of washing dishes for a family of nine.
not only did we have to do the washing up for a 6 person family but we also had a STOOL! the “little red stool”. One side was for standing on and the other side had wheels so you could scoot around the house.
we also used to have to hang the washing out while standing on the stool.
HE cares for you
Jesus?? Is that you??
If something (God forbid) would happen terrible to a family member, a sister, brother and all you had was hope, do you think you might finally look to God to help them or you? I guess you would just have to rely on “modern medicine” because what good would God do. I guess you couldn’t even hope for a miracle.
thats the cutest story i have read all week… luckily for kids these days there dishwashers that do most of the work