because we havenÂ’t talked about my boobs in at least twenty-four hours

I noticed it last night sitting in the sauna at my gym.

Bowing my head to let a bead of sweat roll down my nose, I caught an eye-full. Well, hello, there. And this morning, there wasn’t a bra among the twenty that would fit quite right (if at all). Heaven has worked a mighty miracle! Heaven or the Pill. Who’s to say?

My adorable Intern Extraordinaire said I was lucky. “You’re not gaining weight, you’re gaining volume!” Fine and dandy, I say, except for the fact that I’m simply not used to having an impressive rack and wielding such power.

It’s just a good thing I’m too tired to take them out on the town.

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