In my feverish delirium, I had a dream that I physically attacked Britney Spears. And it was awesome.
Maybe I’ve been reading just too much Stereogum (if there is such a thing), but my distaste for the fading pop princess finally escalated into violence. You know, right after a bit of flying. From what I remember, Mrs. Federline pulled attitude about being The Talent (I can’t even recall the setting except for white columns and red carpets) and I called her a ‘studio creation.’ Maybe my subconscious really meant Ashlee Simpson, but that would have been a bit of ESP on my part as I hadn’t yet read about her little SNL flummox. Anyway, Brit got in my face, so I clocked her. And it felt great. The end.
More importantly…
I’m going to Spain on Friday. And then Morocco on Monday (or was that Tuesday, Jen?). I haven’t packed, I’m all but broke and I haven’t really even looked for my passport yet. I used to be such a good planner… what gives? There are enough unknowns about this trip to make me more than a bit stressed (do we have reservations in Spain? No. In Morocco? Eh, maybe.) but I’m trying to ignore that. Unknown is what adventure is all about, right? That, and really cool souvenirs.
What can I bring you?*
*Don’t say, ‘a first hand account of being sold into white slavery’ cause that’s what I already promised I’d bring my dad.
Could you bring me some postcards, please?
How about a hot little Spanish number? One that doesn’t speak English well, because that makes them more adorable, and it’s very hard to get angry.
A Fish-eyed view of the Mediterranean! That and some warmer weather, it’s been below freezing here for weeks.
Have an awesome time! Spain is beautiful, especially the northern part.
Take care.
I only want one thing.
When I was at Club Med a few years ago, I met the most handsome man I’ve ever spoken to in real life. He’s Spanish, his name is Carlos, and he likes windsurfing. So, if you could…
You did offer.
A picture of the King, please, preferably in his penguin outfit.
You sounded like Sarah Brown in that postscript! And I know that sounds like an insult, but for some reason you’ve become (get ready for another insult) more like Erma Bombeck (or Robert Fulghum, let’s say) – making the everyday into beautiful rather than showing the riduculous and making snarky comments about it. (Much like…? Well, Stereogum or the Gawker/Defamer tribe, I guess!)
A great line. I don’t know why I found it so unexpected coming from you. You’ve obviously demonstrated a rapier wit in the past. Perhaps it’s not usually so dark.
Cheers and I apologize for all the back-handed insults. I don’t intend them but I realize people take them that way.
It’s about time someone smacked Britney upside the head. Here’s to hoping she woke up with a headache this morning.
I have a friend who’s got a massive drooling crush on Britney, and dreams about her often. Only he dreams that they’re dating and constantly having bitter arguments with each other. Heh.
I would like a pebble, rock, stone, or a shell you find in your travels in Morocco, please. That and come back safe and sound.
Emma
bring back some of those amazing verbal postcards you create with your writing. and please bring yourself back, all safe and sound!!!!!
I am totally jealous that you are going to Morocco. Bring me back a Berber rug? Have fun.
And sweet dreams.
If you ever smack Britney in real life, I’m sure many of us who live here in your comments box would happily go your bail, as they say down South.
Mmmm….Spain…The best hard cider ever is in Madrid–a teensy little place called Casa Mingo, where you make no reservations, instead just positioning yourself near a table full of almost-finished diners and slip into their seats as they leave. So good we each drank our own bottle, skipping drunkenly through the streets back to the hotel afterwards. Did I mention I was with my mom? Have a wonderful time!
I think that Britney is going to wake up one day and find herself playing Miss Piggy in the eventual and inevitable live-action Muppet movie.
It must be bash-Britney day today; I did it over on my blog too. Something in the air, I guess.
We already discussed the shoes, yes? Preferably with a back, not mules. I love you, shoe twin!
spain and maracco have spices you can’t get here,
saffran is cheap there.
watch out for boys who smile alot
Bring (actually, post) a picture of a public bathroom in Morracco. Bonus points if it comes eqipped with an actual toilet and not just a hole in the ground. Even more bonus points if there is visible clean toilet paper. When I was there three years ago, I found none of those things. Oh, and buy a rug. It’s so worth the money.
I’d like a sweatshirt from the University of Casablanca,..XL
Given my reupation for being the sleaze of the web, I’ll go for something simple like a bottle of poemada (or however it’s spelt)
all the things they say about morocco are true. be prepared….(your own tp is not aad idea either) you will fall in love with spain bring back a picaso. spanish men are hot too:)
Sneak some tappas back. At customs, can you declare an 10 day old piece of octopus on a Ritz cracker. How about some cheese? And some couscous from Morocco.
Lady, you and I need to talk. To plot a Britney coup d’etat.
http://www.psychicle.com/000210.html
Try Airborne for your trip. I have been “taking” it and it seems to be working, but can’t guarantee anything. This is me not giving advice! Enjoy your trip!