I get a lot of comment spam – probably two or three hundred a day when the Internet jerks are on their game. Usually it’s garbage about “performance enhancers” and nudie pics of gals from such exotic and far away locations as Russia and… Phoenix. But over the last couple of days, my spamming friends have really stepped it up. They’ve done their research, and now, NOW they know what makes me tick.
In the last 24-hours, I’ve gotten upwards of one hundred spam comments that all begin with text from Jane Eyre. Do you even know how just the name Rochester thrills me? They sure do! Because I have read every single comment. Marked them as spam, sure, but I read ‘em! The best part is, that after the initial delightful grabs from some of the best chick lit of all time, the message dissolves into gobbledygook – I mean, pure and absolute nonsense – with dirty words inserted here and there. No links, no products. Just Jane Eyre and profanity.
It’s like it’s my birthday.
That’s hilarious! Perhaps you’ll be getting Colin Firth and Elliot Stabler spam next.
Sounds like my kind of spam!
What a fantastic book. I didn’t read it until recently – seems to have been somehow passed over during my absurdly extensive education (seriously I’ve been in school FOREVER). I wish I had read it sooner. Man, when he said “Jane, are you wearing a blue dress today?”, or something like that right at the end and you realize he’s going to be okay, I have to fight back the tears.
Ha! =)
Maybe they are trying to woo you, but aren’t schooled in proper human-to-human conversation – so they have to use their spam skills instead.
My fave are the ones that begin “Dear Madame…My name is Ghsulfv Xktkjbu and I come from the country of Mogusgwnjo. I have 18 million euros in a bank that I need help accessing and I am offering to split the amount with you if you can rob that bank/pose nude and send me pictures/send me your social security number.”
Who ARE these people??
That does seem like an odd tactic to get you to order something to extend a body part you don’t have…
Maybe you won the Nigerian Lottery, too!!!
My Yahoo email gets so many SPAM emails, that I’m considering changing email addresses. I can’t begin to enumerate the various schemes and topics, especially the fake email from real credit card companies and banks. Those are scary especially if you have a card or account there. But my non-techy husband is the usual one to inflict a virus on the home computer by clicking something that he shouldn’t. It’s frustrating.
I too would read all the span comments if they all were about Jane Eyre. I’d also read them if they were about Pride and Prejudice
.
Serious side:
You have to be careful if there are pictures in there because they can hide tracking cookies and other yucky things in the code for the picture. Don’t think that would be a problem in the comments, but if they were emails it would be.
Not so serious side:
I have had more emails to enlarge parts I do not have, nor care to have, than I could ever count, but I never, ever get interesting to read spam…
I cried so hard when Helen died. Such a good book. It’s a good thing I don’t get Bronte spam! I have been getting e-greeting cards from random people who I don’t know. Very clever, these spammers are.
Hey Fish…just a quick note of thanks from one of your anonymous fans for providing us with some glimpses into your life. I started reading during a job breather three years ago and check in every once in a while to see how you are (weird I feel that connection even though we’ve never met). I’m not one to comment but after a few drinks figured it was time to say thanks for the laughs. Let us know if you get to Houston. Rob
Well, happy birthday!
My spam gets screened pretty well. Maybe I should take a look at my spam folder- it could be delightful!
Since you like Jane Eyre have you read The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde? I think you’d enjoy it!
LOVE IT! I get ‘em too…read every one of ‘em.
Thanks for the enlightenment. Spam-a-lot; Spam-o-rama. Spam me Spam you. Slammin’ spam. Spam is a sham. Pam cooking spray – which reminds me – Spam is a favorite meal in Norway for some reason. Ah yes, too frozen a tundra to raise livestock. Don’t knock it til you try it. I wish they made vegetarian spam. Not from ham. Dr. Suess Green eggs & ham. Gotta go, gotta scram.
I’m reading Jane Eyre right now! But alas, no Jane Eyre spam for me.
We get the same crappy spam – though not hundreds day. More like dozens. I don’t get it… what’s the point of it all?
LMAO!
Seriously. This is FUNNY. If I could be THAT entertained by SPAM. Oh wait… maybe it is a new career!
(wasn’t there a post up after this one?)
I know this has nothing to do with the blog you just wrote, but I woke up with a case of food poisoning this morning.
I’d never had it before but I’d read about it through you numerous times.
All I can say is sweet Jesus – never again. That was the most terrible experience of my life.
Those sound like phishing attempts, no harm in reading them, but I would suggest not replying to them (like you would)cause that would cause This Fish to be caught and mounted on the figurative internet wall of the spammers (aka: they know you have a valid email address and will start sending you less amusing and more annoying spam or worse. I enjoy my spam often as well, brightens my morning email read.
Mr. Rochester might have ED?