And… all the boys have all closed their browser windows.

I suppose I wouldn’t mind any of the above so much if I didn’t have to fast. Even the blood drawing is somewhat pleasant because nurses love my veins and always make such a fuss over how easy it is to perform this gruesome task when working with such fantastic subjects. I like to think I had something to do with these big, beautiful veins, so I always say thank you and grow a little bit of an ego. But me on an empty stomach? There’s nothing happy about that. It’s like… well, remember that time Woody Harrelson was walking through the airport and some paparazzo got in his face and he gave him a knuckle sammich and then in his own defense claimed it was because he thought the paparazzo was a zombie? Yeah, it’s like that. I’m willing to bet that Woody was just really hungry. Somebody made him skip breakfast for a cholesterol test and mistakes were made.

During the physical, my very sweet Physician’s Assistant got out her stethoscope, prodded around my tummy and then said with smile, “You sound very hungry.”

“That was your idea.”

No sense in pretending I got up at 5AM and then voluntarily went foodless until 10:30. So long as there are Kardashians starving in LA, I will clean my plate, dammit.

The nicest thing about going to my doctor is the quality listening time. Never once have I felt rushed into getting down to the paper gown part of the event and have always been relieved just to be able to say, “Here are all the things that don’t feel right. Can you make them better?” And having a doctor who will write you a prescription for a sleep aid without giving you hassle, well, I guess that’s worth a tummy rumble once a year.  

As much as I hated to admit it, the Dork Lord was right. I was not built for this kind of thing. We’d worked out in the cold rain that morning, and by late afternoon I was in bed with a chill. Knee socks, heating pad, hot soup and clinging to the down comforter for dear life. Boot camp was going to be the ruin of me. It was only Friday that I took a header during the relay races and tore the ever-loving heck out of my hands. Sure, I fell. But did I get back up and finish every single race with scraped up palms, blood running down my arm and a skinned knee? Oh, yes. Yes, I did. And we won, too. Because I may be sickly and accident prone, but I am a friggin’ champ. Also, I really didn’t want to look like a quitter in front of those people, most of whom are actual athletes – you know, the kind who come without FRAGILE stamped on their hind ends.

Fra-gee-lay. It must be Italian!

Having not lost a single ounce, I’m not sure what I’m getting out of camp, other than out of bed at god forsaken o’clock in the morning and sore. But it is serving as a good motivator and I have every faith that one day — one sweet, sweet day — my jeans will fit again. And all the peasants will cheer.

Yes! Two years ago, I put on a backpack and headed across the ocean. London, Scotland, Barcelona and… several stops in Italy. You can read about it here and here, or in the travel blog I kept for ISE Cards.

Mike or Dexter? – Sarah Brown

Zing! That’s the toughest one yet. However, upon deep consideration, I have decided that Mike was too melancholy. Hello, Dexter.

Hi Fish, Do you have any cute, single, man friends left in the Boston area? And for my non-self centered question…What was your nephew’s first word? – Different Melissa

Hmm, actually, I think all the fellas (cute or otherwise) I hung out with in Boston are married. Let’s appeal to the audience, shall we? And though I’m not sure if he’s repeated it since, I’ve been told Owen’s first word was, “cookie.” That’s how we know he’s one of us.

What’s your favorite part of the day? What’s your favorite girly girlmemory? How many cookies do you think you could polish off if you had agood friend and a really big glass of milk? What traveling is there onthe immediate to-do list? – Melissa

Whoa! Way. Too. Many. Questions. I feel like I need multiple choice to tackle this! Let’s take the travel one. Aside from our Disney World family adventure in TWO MONTHS FROM RIGHT NOW (eeee!), we will be traveling to Austin in November and Utah in March. Both for weddings. Another little sister is gettin’ hitched.

These are not nearly as profound, but here goes:1. How long did it take you before you could complete the 30-day shredworkout without wanting to throw up? and,2. Are you still running? These are just questions because I need -NEED!! – to get motivated, and if I know that there is a light at theend of the workout tunnel, I might be less inclined to sit by the trackwith my eyes closed….. – Lawyerchik

1. A week and then I went to Level Two. GOD. 2. No, but I intend to work back up to it. When I moved in with the Dork Lord, I lost my early morning running buddy. Haven’t found my groove since!

What is your favorite concert? – MissusB

Turns out, I’m not much of a live music person (I can take it or leave it). But the Indigo Girls concert experience is one I’d repeat.

What kind of work are you doing now? – Molly

Marketing & Business Development for the A/E/C industry. Try not to be blinded by the glamor.

Just in case you don’t want to answer my other question, how long exactly have you and Dork Lord been dating?  – Danielle

One year this month.

I’m a very long time reader and am really curious if you ever talk to Jor have you in the last few years? If not, do you think he reads yourblog? – Danielle

Yes, we keep up over Facebook. I think occasionally he reads the blog but I doubt it’s with any regularity. My own boyfriend doesn’t read it!

So you live in Texas, you lived in New York and (I think) you lived inBoston for awhile. People from any of those three places usually have arecognizable accent. My mother-in-law has a serious Boston accent goingon even though she left Boston 40 years ago. So what (if any) accent doyou have? – Misses M

None, so far as I know. I haven’t been anywhere long enough for any one accent to take!

How are you adjusting to the pooch these days? Do he and kitty get along? Can we ever see a picture of Dork Lord?? – Deeana

We’re thick as thieves. Mostly because I’m the resident sucker and he knows he can flash his muppet face and get anything he wants. I do love him. He and the cat get along just fine. And, no, probably not (unless you’ve been very clever and found it elsewhere). I don’t think he’d dig that at all.

Whenever you do a Q&A I always want to ask about Ben & The Intern.I know you won’t answer, so:What do you miss about NY, if anything? – Heidi

Le sigh. What more is there to know about that? Every time it comes up, I post the same link to the same story and let folks glean what they will. So, we’ll just move on… I miss my friends, sometimes to the point it gives me a stomach ache. And I miss the food, and having things to do ALL the time. Other than that, New York can suck it.

I’m sure you get asked this a lot, but how did you get into blogging? Iam a recent college grad., and I’d love to eventually do something likeyou’re doing, but I have no idea where to start. and a fun one: If youcould have a lifetime supply of any food (regardless of cost orcalories) what would it be? – Katy

I went to blogger.com and started a blog. It was that simple. Just put it out there. If you write it, they will come.  Oh, and Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby.

A long time ago you blogged about your gyno lecturing you on waxing. Ihave always wondered why? I can’t figure out what’s wrong with it!-  Alexa

Apparently it has something to do with prevention of disease and infection. But the, she was sort of an angry lady, too, so take that into consideration.

How long do you see yourself continuing to blog for? do you ever seeyourself NOT blogging, in some capacity at least?-someone once asked me this: “assuming that you write an anonymous orpartially anonymous blog, by what non-physically identifyingcharacteristics might you be identified in a bar?”-do you follow a lot of blogs? who are your favorites right now? – Brooke M

I will probably always blog in some capacity – I think it’s such a great way of recording my personal history, easy reference remembering! And, um, I’m not anonymous at ALL, since there’s my name and picture up there. But, I snort when I laugh. That’s hard to miss.

What are you and the dork lord going to be for halloween this year? – Betsy

We actually talked about this last night (as we will be attending a party) and came to zero conclusions. I kind of don’t really LIKE the fuss of costumes. I know. I ruin everything.

What name did Dork Lord’s parents bestow upon him at birth? If you’re taking guesses, I guess Jason or Michael. – Barbara E.

Oh, Doug. You just gave me some warm fuzzies. I have an ancient PayPal account, which I think still works for that sort of thing. And, if you pass along your address, you’ll get a handwritten thank you note.

P.S. Oh my goodness, you guys. I just got an email from PayPal and I started crying. You’re unbelievably generous. Thank you.

Ready? Go!

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