I’m pretty sure my coworkers think I’m pregnant. Ooof.
Skipping out on hurricanes last night at happy hour was all about appeasing my inner control freak – the girl who had big, big plans to go home and eat a healthy dinner, low in guilt and saturated fat. And as relationships go, booze and willpower’s is, by the laws of nature, an inverse one; booze goes up, willpower goes down, and vice versa. It’s like the Boyle’s Law of self loathing. And boy, can it get ugly the next morning (insert all of your bad morning after memories here).
Also, hurricanes? Meh. Start passing out dirty martinis and you won’t see such restraint. Or brownies. Then I’m just a girl who can’t say no.
I guess this is a very normal thing, but once you’re in the settling down mode, the workplace seems to hum with Womb Speculation. Gain a little weight and the office goes nuts. There’s an over/under at my office, which I’m pretty sure has something to do with actual dollar bets being placed on my uterine occupancy status. Turn down a drink and Whoa, Nelly! Getting married means everyone wants to know when you’re going to spawn, but the second you say, “I’m not drinking,” speculation is bypassed completely and you get that look – the one that says, “Oh, we know.”
Please. I didn’t get pregnant. I got chubby.
I keep thinking I’ll jump back into the 30 Day Shred, but something tells me that right now, I probably can’t handle being yelled at by Jillian. Not to mention that every time she says, “Chop, chop, ladies!” I kind of want to stab things. I’ll show you chop, chop.
“I didn’t get pregnant. I got chubby.”
You could make it interesting, and provide them with an ultrasound of a three-headed alien…..
Now I have Ado Annie’s song stuck in my head…… “I’m jest a gurl who caynt say no….. I’m in a turrible FIX!”
I didn’t even know it was Fat Tuesday yesterday, and that was a “holiday” I used to really love celebrating. I got married, had a baby, and I’m a stay at home mom. Now, I it’s a good moment when I remember what day of the week it is.
Just seeing Jillian on her diet pills or whatever irritates me. I can’t imagine having her yell at me for an hour. I prefer my nice run with the down-market British pop and the nice lady who talks me through on the Couch to 5K podcast from the UK’s NHS (it’s free, too!).
You’re definitely not imagining it.. and it’s only going to get worse after you marry! People care way too much about what’s going on in other people’s wombs! Are you going to be taking care of said kid? No? Then why the hell do you care so much?
Ah, yes…Jillian Michaels. I’m on day eight of the 30 Day Shred. My personal least-favorite phrase is when she says ‘We’re all in the same boat here.’ Riiiiight. I don’t see any of the three of you puffing and panting and dripping sweat all over *your* living room. And yet, I keep going back. It’s strange.
I also have Ado Annie’s song stuck in my head. And I STILL don’t know what day it is, despite the fact that my kids are 9 and 7, lol! No one told me that mom-brain would last for a decade!
Isn’t it amazing? When you’re single, people nag you about finding someone. When you’re dating, the nagging turns to “when are you going to get married?” When you get engaged, it becomes “when are you going to have kids?” (Then when you get pregnant, it’s all about the unsolicited advice and horror stories about labor.) and on and on.
I like the 3-headed alien baby ultrasound idea! If people are gonna talk anyway (ant they will), give ‘em something to REALLY talk about, lol!
Use the music only option in the DVD. You don’t have to hear her voice. Because, I know, that you know, the workout is awesome.
I’m going to do my next round…..later.
There is a music only option? Oh helllll yes!
“I would do just about anything for abs like those” When she says that she gets this weird look in her eyes like she’s going to murder that girl and duct tape the abs onto her own stomach.
I’m filing this under, “reasons why working with almost exclusively with liberal men who are 25 to 35 is awesome.” No one does that shit here. Anyway, hope it improves and the gossip mill stops.
Lol! Oh, the joys of impending marriage and gossipy co-workers. I would be the one to mess with them by saying, “Oh, I thought you KNEW that’s why I was getting married.” (Only funny if it’s obviously not true.)
Been there. The pregancy speculation is right up there w/the rumors about who in the office you’re sleeping with. Regardless of truth or fact. Got to love it.
As far as getting chubby, you most likely will drop a bit as the wedding gets closer just out of pure anxiety & all the running around you end up doing, even if you are still eating well. Enjoy the time & the whole process.
err, I meant to type *pregnancy*
Clearly the caffeine has not kicked in…..
Grrr, I so know the feeling.
One of my husband’s frieds asked me in front of a large group of people if I was pregnant – I said no. She asked again – I said please can someone pass me a large glass of wine? She asked again – when I said no for the third time, she said ‘Oh, you’ve put on lots of weigh since your wedding. Never mind.’
The drink nearly ended up all over her dress!
I hate when she says ‘chop chop, ladies’! I tend to get up as slowly as possible when I hear her say that.
I know this is silly to many but I purposely didn’t lose weight for the wedding. Why? Because of an ad of all things. Some syrup company was selling a sugar-free version. Mom and daughter were talking, daughter offered mom some and mom said “no, I want to still fit into my wedding dress” (daughter is, what, 12?). So…I wanted to fit in my dress 15 years later so I figured *not* losing weight would make that happen.
The dress has never left the dry cleaner’s fancy box.