And then this morning, I quit my job.
Like that? I figured we’d start at the end of the story this time and work our way back. Or, maybe, hop around in time a bit until we’re all dizzy and uncertain of the plot like your standard Lifetime Original Movie starring a former 90210 cast member. In any event, we’re taking things out of order.
Work anxiety reached its peak less than a week following the robbery. After working two weekends in a row to nail a proposal and presentation for a high profile job, I had the most humiliating experience of professional life. It felt like a tribunal, the way I was sat down in front of the firm’s leadership and grilled, item by item, on the contents of my job description. It was a series of, “You’re not doing this” followed by my, “Oh, yes I am” defense. It’s shameful to say that I had grown accustomed to being talked to without much respect – due both for my experience and for just being another human, for pete’s sake - but something happened toward the end of the meeting. I gave up. And when the meeting broke, three of us stayed behind, and I burst into tears. I was tired. Exhausted.
“I mean, he is putting food on our tables,” one coworker said, as though to offer an excuse.
“No,” I said, feeling a knot of hot rage form in my stomach. “You are. You do the work that brings in the money and in return, he lets you have a little bit of it. So unless you mean that he comes to your house at night and quite literally serves up dinner, he’s not putting jack on your table. He needs you and you need him – only, one of you doesn’t seem to be aware of that.”
Maybe we’d all been drinking the same, In This Economy flavored Kool Aid, but I realized I was done. I told them that I could have another job tomorrow, conceding straight away, though, that was the last thing I wanted to do. Admit defeat. Admit I’d been wrong to take the job even after people had warned me. “Just make sure you know what you’re getting into,” a complete stranger had told me. The Dork Lord had been wanting me to get out for months. “No one should talk to you that way,” he’d said. He was right.
Obviously, it was a bit of an exaggeration to say I could land a new job in 24 hours. It took a couple weeks. By then, though, there was a home loan in progress and there was nothing I could do but accept the job offer and wait. It was torture. So was resigning, though. I worried for weeks, in a punishing sort of way, about how it would play out – doing what’s best for you doesn’t always make other folks exactly happy. My hands shook when I handed over my letter. And even once it was delivered, I didn’t exactly feel better.
That took a couple of hours.
Now I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted. I’ve been feeling so heavy with this decision that I haven’t been able to celebrate. No more! I’ve got a bottle of champagne in the fridge, a key to the new house (we take possession today) and a new job to start on Thursday. I don’t even know where to begin! Ten bucks says I drink that shit straight from the bottle and fall asleep on our new kitchen floor.
Holy Cow! You are doing the right thing. And no, no one should talk to you that way. Keep at it Fish. So many changes and you will only grow from all of these things.
Good for you.
CONGRATULATIONS! On the new home and the new job! YAY!
my jaw dropped at the first sentence, THEN I did a happy dance for you! Congrats on the new job, leaving the old job and the new house. I’m not a betting woman, but I’ll put in $20 that you do drink it straight from the bottle and fall asleep! Hell it’s your floor!
Congrats again, and you have made great changes these past few months and they all seem to be for the better! Kudos to you, now I’m off to reorganize my life as well. I’ve been meaning to do it for a while now. <–Thanks!
Here’s my advice. Get some take out after work. Light some candles in the hew house. Open that champagne. And break in the new house!
Or…you know, sleep would also be good.
Holy Cow!
I’m exhausted just reading about it but, so happy for both of you.
Congratulations on the house!
Congratulations to the new position!
Enjoy that bottle and, I hope you do more than just fall asleep on the your new kitchen floor.
Life is good.
Carpe Diem, once again!
Oh Fish you SO deserve a huge celebration! For putting up with the shitty work atmosphere.. for being robbed.. for everything else that’s gone wrong the past couple months… YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS!! I hope hope hope hope hope hope the new job is so much better!
CONGRATULATIONS! On all fronts. Especially the part where you had the courage to stand up for yourself and take back your life and get a new job. Seriously, you are great and inspire others, awesome job.
I am so happy for you that your post brought me to tears. I am acutely aware of the pain of a workplace that does more harm to your life than the good of “the food on the table.” So far I have not been strong enough to do what you did. Although I have been looking no one in my area or field is hiring, I am not the type that can quit without something else lined up. But I AM SO HAPPY for you. Congrats on the house!
Congratulations!
A complete fresh start is good for the soul. I admire your professionalism in sticking it out. I would probably have blown-up and stormed out, which can be satisfying, but not conducive to complementary reference letters.
Wow. Good for you. I can honestly say that I have found myself exactly in the situation in which you find yourself. It’s an absolute relief. No one deserves to treat you (or anyone else) like something they scrap off shoes. Good for you for standing up for yourself! You’ll be much better off for it. Honest. Lucky you for having someone at home that treats you exactly the opposite way too.
Holy crap, Fish! I was a little worried at the beginning, but there was so much awesome-ness by the end of the post that I may have actually cheered out loud.
I’m glad 2011 is becoming such an exciting year for you (minus the crummy stuff, of course).
Been there, done that. Waiting for my boss to come in to the office in order to hand him the offending letter was agony. But holy hell, the relief I felt once it was over!
And you know what? He was SHOCKED. Shocked that I would leave after he yelled & swore at me over the weekend for doing something that *he* instructed me to do.
Good for you – even though lots of people don’t understand making that kind of decision “in this economy” (gag, I’m so over that phrase!), you are protecting your physical & emotional health & the health of your relationship. Nice work, lady!
Hell yes!! Congrats woman!! I’m doing a happy dance for you. I wish I had to confidence to do what you did.
Happy dance for your new house, new job and upcoming wedding!!!
That is great news! Good for you and congratulations on all the new and wonderful things in your life!
So flippin’ proud of you, girl. Life’s too short to feel sick about going to work.
Enjoy your first few carefree nights in your new digs before you embark on yet another adventure.
*happy dance*
YAY! I just handed in my resignation to my not-worth-it job this morning too! You completely deserve to take control. It’s a great feeling isn’t it! Such freedom! Congratulations on all of the wonderful things coming to you. More are to come I’m sure. And here’s to drinking the whole damn bottle and maybe one more!
Congrats Fish!
I’m so happy for you that so many things are rolling in the right direction for you!
I know all to well what its like to be in a meeting like the one that you mentioned. Defending yourself when you never thought that you would be in that kind of situation. Hopefully my situation turns around so, just have to hold on a bit longer.
So I’m not writing in under my normal name because I really do understand how it is to be a hardworking marketing person who is treated like crap. You never know what you’re going to get where I work. I’ve been yelled at, cursed at, flirted with and treated like a child…all within a week. I’ve also had the feeling that in this economy you should just be happy to have a paycheck. I’m so jealous of you for walking away. I hope that one day I can go work at a *normal* workplace where people are kind to each other. Until then, I’ll just smile a little smile knowing that I’m trying to get pregnant and they’re going to have to give me leave.
I think this deserves a big ol’ YOU GO GIRL!!!! =)
Wow! What a year of changes! I am proud of you though I don’t know you, impressed at the balls it took in spite of all that is going in your life to do one more thing and disappointed in myself for doing the “in this economy” and “I have a mortgage and a puppy to feed”. Maybe this will inspire me.
Congratulations!
Congratulations on the house and the job! You deserve a lovely sleep.
What does Sir Hal think of moving again?
I am so excited for you and so happy you’re getting everything you want and deserve to have!!
Soooo happy for you, Heather! Send me your new address when you get a chance. =)
Congratulations! Sounds like it was not a moment too soon.
Right on, girl! No one deserves that behavior. I concur with your last sentence.
Congrats! Can’t wait to hear about the new beginnings!
I’m doing the happy dance with Laura – and anyone else who wants to participate!!
Sometimes, “a fish’s gotta do what a fish’s gotta do!!” Good for you!!
Good for you! You’re not a doormat and deserve to be treated (at the very least) human, if not a hugely valuable part of your work team. Enjoy the champagne and the sleeping on the floor. Take a pillow to the kitchen before you pop the cork!
Been there. Twice, unfortunately. And I couldn’t agree more with you on who is putting food on our tables. Congratulations on your new job and especially on the house. That is a couple of great news. I wish you all the best.
Woohoo!! Good for you and congratulations! I had a boss once who screamed at me over the phone (from his office next door) for following his instructions on a project he was micromanaging on my end but not supervising on his end. When I found myself crying in the soda aisle at the convenience store on the corner, I realized it was time to quit. Those moments are freeing and scary. Bravo for self-preservation and your new abode!
Congrats on the house! Congrats on dumping the loser job! Oh yeah, you definitely tarantinoed that story. Have fun with the champagne!
Congratulations on the new job and new house. It reminded me that when I started reading your blog, you possessed a completely different set of life circumstances than you do now. Interesting to see how life progresses!
I hope you took in a dozen “kiss my ass” donuts. They don’t really need to say “kiss my ass” on them, but you know that they should….
Good for you! That’s such wonderful news. I hated the way you talked about your job. Yesyesyes!
Congratulations! I hope your new job is fantastic and energising and gives you what you need to have a calm rest of the year, interrupted only by the excitement of your wedding.
Wow! Good for you. I may have to use your bravado to do the same with mine.
So excited about the house. Good for you guys!
Heather, this is why we love you. Rock on!
I’ve been reading for a few years now and I have to say that I am always amazed by the admirable way that you seem to be able to get honest with yourself about what you deserve and don’t deserve and then (albeit usually after quite an internal struggle) you act on your findings and get to making some awesome life changes. Congratulations! Must be a bit nerve-wracking, but how exciting and liberating!
This is my first time to comment, but I saw so much of myself in your post, that I just felt right this time. As many of the other comments, I also have been in a very similar situation. I had been in a job for over 15 years and in a matter of 3 months it had completely disintegrated until I was demoted and humiliated in front of my peers. So, I quit, moved 1,000 miles away to be near my family and couldn’t be happier. These are the moments that change and define you. Now, I couldn’t be happier for you. Thank you for being you every day.
Congratulations! That took bravery and a sense of your own worth that many people cannot muster when looking at a monthly pay check.
Hope the new job and house are everything you hoped.
Fish
That is such wonderful news- delighted for you on both fronts.I cant wait to see pictures of the new house.
I handed a resignation letter in 3 years ago,after one month in a new job where I was treated like a sub-human.As I handed it in straight to the company director I said I wasn’t going to work my notice and left straight away.I can still see the look of shock on his little ferret type face. It was such a scary and exhilarting feeling, even though my lack of forward planning meant that I was down at the recruitment consultants that afternoon looking for a temp job to keep me going!
Still one of my proudest monents though
H
Good for you. And I’m glad it didn’t take that long to feel better after handing the letter in. You may not always have to enjoy the job but you ought to be treated well.
Enjoy the new house!
Mazel Tov times two!!!!!!!
I know the feeling. When you can’t look at yourself in the mirror anymore and you realize your integrity is being fucked with daily…time to go. WOOHOO for new adventures.
SUCH a big smile on my face for you right now! When you wake up after your post-champagne snooze, that pattern imprinted into your drool-covered left cheek is from YOUR very own kitchen floor!
Congratulations, Fish! I’m so glad you left that job and have your house! You have to do what’s best for you! Can’t wait to see house pics!
SO MUCH YAY. Congratulations, Heather!
Congrats! Rooting for you as always. My internet herioine
Congrats on the house and the new job. Also, you are right, no one deserves to be talked to that way. My guess is they will miss you more than you will ever miss their paycheck. You deserve better and good for you for going after it!
Congrats! Great news, lady.
There are way too many people out there these days who use phrases like “you’re lucky to have a job in this economy!”, or “there are so many people out of work, you shouldn’t be complaining”, but really, when you’re spending all day every day being treated like crap, and all night every night stressing about having to go through it all again the next day, it just isn’t worth it. Even in a bad economy QUALITY OF LIFE is still important! Who cares if your job puts food on the table if you’re too stressed out and unhappy to eat it? Good for you for getting yourself out of a bad situation.
Onward and upward, baby! Congrats!
YAY!
It is sort of freaking me out how much our lives are running in parallel right now: wedding planning (mine’s in Sept), budgets via spreadsheets, new house we closed on 2 weeks ago, new job starting next week. I’d like to avoid the robbery part though, mmmkay? But I think maybe you should add a Boxer puppy to your life.
Congrats Fish!!
YEAH, Grrrrrrlllll!
On behalf of everyone who has been treated like crap at work, BRAVO!
Woot, woot!
Congratulations! I am looking high and low for a new job so I can get out of my current hellish situation. I am so happy for you – quitting iVillage, quitting your job, buying a house, getting married… what an incredible year!
So many changes but in a positive direction – you deserve it!
Congrats!
oops, I have your old blog on my feed from November where you said you were taking a two week hiatus. I had no idea you were now here.
Yippee! So happy for you! Working a crappy job would just bring anyone’s mood down. Good luck with your fresh start (in so many things).
Thank you! I’ve been debating quitting my job, and the consequences of doing so, for a couple of months. The line, “doing what’s best for you doesn’t always make other folks exactly happy” hit home for me. I’ve been thinking about what’s best for the organization I love, as well as the people I work with, but not myself. I’ll be handing in that resignation and making some exciting travel plans very soon! So thank you, and congrats.
I’ve had a take this job and shove it moment myself and there is nothing better. So congrats on the new job and house!
Good for you- I did the same thing 3 weeks ago and haven’t looked back!
you. are. my. hero.
congrats on your bravery and your new home!
Congrats! on both the house and quiting your job. I quit mine in early January after similiar experiences. Too many months and far too many tears were shed. the final straw happened when I was told by my direct manager that I wasn’t doing my job and needed to go online and look up my job description and then do whatever it listed. Because you know, he was too incompetent to manage me.
so happy you stood up for yourself!