I know, I know. I’m such a launch tease.
But I swear it’s not my fault. I almost don’t dare tell you the new date for the Big Change, because it’s not likely you’ll believe me after all this crying wolf. Let’s just leave it at this: It’s like, falling in love. It’ll happen when you least expect it.
There, don’t you feel better?
I’m wearing a suit today, which means that something else big is up. Please to do the crossing of fingers. Fueled by anticipation of the something else big, I spent last night in a flurry of nervous energy, tearing my apartment to little bits. It started out as simple straightening, but then, hey, what’s this in the cupboard? And before I knew it, I was in the middle of a massive reorganization.
Somewhere between rediscovering my Belgian waffle maker and adios-ing my ten year old, hardly used spice rack, I missed the movie I’d bought a ticket for. That’s when I knew I’d gone too far. Though, it still did take all my power to stop myself from taking down the curtains and washing them (probably ironing them, as well, if I am being honest about my own sickness).
I do that sometimes. I also get worked up and clean fixtures with Q-tips. So on the Neurotic Cleaning Scale, last night’s binge wasn’t so bad.
Except for the part when I actually vacuumed the cat.
Do you not understand I live for this web site? I mean I sit here daily waiting for the re-launch. Okay, not really. I don’t want you to think I am a crazy Internet stalker. I just hope I don’t audibly gasp with delight at work when the change over occurs because if I do my blog-reading cover at w-o-r-k will be blown.
I hope the big event today goes well. Whatever it is it must be big. A suit and house cleaning? Jinkies. Are we talking multi-million dollar book deal here? A promo to CEO of some Fortune 500 company? Perhaps your own television dramedy? Sigh. Too much anticipation. Bust out the Q-tips (and another post/update pretty please).
I prefer massive reorganization to draining pints of Ben and Jerry’s while watching Family Guy on DVD.
Besides, cleaning burns calories.
Neuroses have a funny way about them. They help us harness the strangest of emotions by placing them all on tasks or habits. How productive.
Good luck on your Big Day. I hope a nice layer of great is iced onto it.
What movie were you going to see?
vacuuming the cat. thank heavens I’m not the only one who gets that inkling on a regular basis. Never actually TRIED it, I just end up sending her out for Fluff ‘N Fold.
Is it wrong for me to hope that the suit is for a lunch meeting with a literary agent rather than a promotional move among the ‘corporate monkeys’. Your associations, exposure, fan base…everything screams book deal-or am I the only one hearing this? Either way finger crossing it is oh talented gilled one.
My roommate went to a special screening of “Serenity” last night. I am *so* jealous.
*disclaimer for PETA: No animals were harmed in the making of this post, even if the cat did voice his/her disenchantment and being vacuumed!*
I go on binges like that. I just wish they were more often. Cleaning is so….therapeutic!
Wonderfully funny post.
There are a whole lot worse things you could do. Doesn’t just make you feel great when it’s done though? Few things in life leave that kind of lasting pleasure.
Oh, and *crossing fingers* for you.
I throw away massive amounts of clothes. Nearly on a weekly basis. Then I buy more. It is the only thing that keeps me sane.
Good luck with your job interview – bet you can’t wait to escape NY monkey firm so finger crossed!
And you’re not alone with the neurotic cleaning thing… I’m regrouting the shower this evening.
I go on random cleaning binges…usually after I’ve had a persistent cold or the flu. Or at like 2 in the morning. And I too bust out the Q-tips. Quite often I do that to my computer tower to remove dust and the like. Beware the cleaning frenzy…
Next time you get on one of those binges, please feel free to stop by my house.
I bet you were a tease in high school too, huh? We southern girls have a name for folks like you!!! In spite of the agonizing wait, I too have my fingers crossed.
(but hurry up please!)
i’m so glad i’m not the only one who seriously thinks about vacuuming the cat.
I vacuumed my orange tabby once, many years ago. I still limp.
But for a day, he was one absolutely nonshedding cat.
Oh, and you know what’s awesome? The bleach pen.
Fingers officially crossed. Good luck!
Waiting in breathless anticipation! Hoping good hopes and typimgf elirh fingrd cerissd (that was “typing with fingers crossed” – it’s harder than it looks….)
And I have vacuumed my dog once. It was self-defense though – he kept trying to eat the vacuum-cleaner. They still are not on speaking terms.
Hey Heather,
I am in love with you or at least your blog. You have me addictive to your big city living. I find your blog creative, personal, and unique. I am looking forward to the changes, but I also still stick with the old saying “Why fix it when it aint broke.” I will be adding you to my blog as soon as I figure out how to add links. Thanks for letting me in your world.
Smiles
Shanda
hiya just to let you know i’m moving my blog from tomorrow to
http://www.coldheartchronicles.blogspot.com
:0)
The suspense is killing me. Again.
i keep coming back to this site so i linked you! thanks for the good blogging.
YOur not nesting are you? Getting ready for the long cold winter? Remember the Flow BEE? Works great on small animals, Although I did get in trouble for using it on my sister.
I vacuumed my cat when he was a kitten.
But before the PETA folks hunt me down: I used the attachment; he loved it… it was a regular occurrence when I was in the non-pet apartment.
Now that he has a “real” house of his own, not so much vacuuming is necessary.
Can’t wait for the changes. And loved the spoon pictures, too!
“Neurotic Cleaning Binge” brings to mind a discussion over dinner with friends on Sunday night. It was summarized as follows:
When you use a toothbrush to clean the grout in the bathroom, that makes you a fairly meticulous cleaner. When you start using the dental floss, you’ve gone a bit too far.
My deaf cat (white with blue eyes; deafness is hereditary) loves to be vacuumed. She isn’t scared by the noise like the others are. In fact, I think she feels the ground vibrate and that is what wakes her up from a nap mewling to be vacuumed.
Yeah, I have to say that Sir Hal seemed to be enjoying himself. It’s not a punishment… and he’s definitely not afraid.
Good for you. I enjoyed reading your articels. As I lay in bed and ponder the question of why I’m still single, i ran across your website. I’m 27 and live in phoenix AZ and finding a good man here is like finding a cheescake that contributes to weightloss, impossible. I have a degree and am finishing a masters, have a great job, and stay in shape, yet these things seem to contribute more to my eternal singleness than help. I’m adjusting to being alone nicely, but like you said, after a long day, the last 4 coors lights call my name, and beforelong, i find myself eating a bologna sandwich watching Andy Griffith re-runs and silently thinkng, How come they don’t make men like Sherriff Taylor anymore? So, in conclusion, I feel your pain, and if you need any material, I’ll be glad to share my stories of questionable men and the not so questionable empty bottles of merlot.