My last thought before I fell asleep used to be the Roman Meal soldier.
For as long as I can remember, I have been falling asleep exactly the same way: one leg out of the covers and one arm crooked over my ear. Ventilation and soundproofing — both absolutely necessary to the construction of sleep.
When I was little, I remember thinking that the rhythm of my pulse sounded like soldiers marching. Left. Left. Left, right, left. There’s not even a good onomatopoeia to describe that sound. I just tried out swoosh and whoosh and neither sounds anything like what I mean.
Go ahead. Try it. Raise your arm up against your ear, close your eyes and listen. When you start to hear the sound of marching instead of your own heartbeat, try to picture the soldier from the label of a bag of Roman Meal bread.
You are getting very sleepyâ€_ right?
Sometimes, when I’m trying to settle down into sleep, and my head is filled with thoughts like, “What’s on my Outlook calendar for tomorrow?â€ù “I hope I locked the front door.â€ù and “Whatever happened to Jonathan Taylor Thomas?â€ù I actually make myself think about some picture I saw once on a bag of sliced bread. It’s a bit silly, I know, but I’m amazed at how well it actually works.
Left. Left. Left, right, left.
*Yawn*
But, no really. Whatever did happen to Jonathan Taylor Thomas?
I absolutely love the idea of thinking of something totally pointless and inconsequential to help me go to sleep.
I’ve so got to try that tonight!
Who knows about JTT. Maybe off somewhere autographing old copies of Tiger Beat or something equally interesting?!
He guest starred on an episode of Veronica Mars last season. He looked kind of puffy.
I don’t know about JTT, but I saw the youngest one of E! recently. He’s a trippy hippy and runs a vegan restaurant in LA w/ his trippy hippy wife.
By the way, congrats on the spread in The Daily! It’s too bad your pics didn’t come out so hot, but it was still a fun feature! And maybe you’ll be next w/ a big blog book deal from Kate Lee…
For you I looked it up Fish. JTT was last seen as an federal agent in a Veronica Mars episode last season and as Customer #3 in something entitled Tilt-A-Whirl. Oh how far the Home Improvement have fallen.
p.s. I can’t sleep unless my exposed ear is covered for fear that someone will break into my house in the middle of the night and blow in my ear. So dont feel bad I got a routine too:)
Congrats, I saw you on blogebrity today! How cool, I’m totally jealous.
It’s well deserved sweetheart, keep up the good work!
Yeah, my grandpa was named Jonathan Thomas and lived in LA and he finally had to unlist his phone number because all these little girls would call at all hours of the day and night.
He started yelling at 11-year old girls to keep their pants on. We had to intervene.
You pajama partying blogger, you! Nice work!
Oh Lord. I didn’t know who you were talking about until someone called him ‘JTT’. It’s sad I still associate that acronym with that person after so many years away from Home Improvement.
I am going to try that the next time I have trouble sleeping. But someone is going to have to tell me what this Roman Meal soldier looks like.
it’s funny… i think i used to fall asleep imagining images of johnathan taylor thomas. he and i were close in age… i always thought fate would do the rest.
now, i am too tired to think of much at all as i fall asleep. normally it’s a quick goodnight kiss and i’m out cold. unfortunately, i wake up as quickly as i fall asleep. i guess i need to try the soundproofing.
I absolutely MUST be bundled up like a little burrito. Exposed shoulder or back just can’t happen…or else the witches who live under my bed might bite me. (sigh) The logic of a five year old, alive today in a 28-year-old body.
you know that falling feeling that happens right when you’re on the edge of falling asleep? for me, it was a mental image of the upper corner of my bedroom (next to the Matt Dillon poster, so now you know how old I am) and if I saw cobwebs, I knew I’d have nightmares FOR SURE – but if the corner was nice and web-free, I’d sleep like a babe.
Sad to say, I was more attracted to flannel-wearing Al than JTT – but don’t hate me ’cause I have a weakness for men from the Pacific Northwest!
(just remember – Horace wore flannel, too!)
I sympathize. My ability to fall asleep has really diminished. And it doesn’t help getting up at god-only-knows when to go to work…
I’m right here.
man, this entry made me sleepy. i’m working on 2 hours of it. are you sure you’re not a hypnotist, or are you the PR person for JTT? i wonder how many more hits this man will have on his fan club site!
Hee, great to hear that so many people have those paranoid childhood fears too. I have to sleep with the back to the wall and be completely covered (no feet or hands peeking out from under the covers), or else a big hand will come from under my bed and snatch me away…
I think there was an episode of X-Files similar to this and I think I saw it when I was still impressionable…traumatised me for life:)
Ha! Warren, you’re quite the charmer. The pics may not have come out so hot, but I’ve taken SO many worse pictures, that I was glad they came out as well as they did.
Fabulous piece! And I loved the spread in the paper. Great representation of single Manhattan women.
Your amazing Ms. Fish!
First of all Warren, how dare you tell a woman that her pictures didn’t come out so hot. Didn’t your mother ever teach you if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all!
Second, I used to have to think of ways to tune out all of the noise in my head to sleep and then I had a child and now if I even blink too long, I’m out like a light. However I do have to wrap myself completely in my fluffy comforter, feet tucked under (so no monsters can get my feet) and pulled up all the way tucked under my chin. My door has to be closed tight and my back can not be facing any open areas. I know it sounds crazy, but hey after sleeping that way for 27 years it’s kind of hard to break the habit.
As for JTT,he was always my favorite of the Taylor boys. I can’t picture him doing anything else. He will always be little Randy Taylor in my eyes.
Happy Friday Fish and fellow school mates!
Ditto, Fish! I am the same way. I don’t know when I started do it but for me, I tell each part of my body to go to sleep, starting at the toes – working my way up. “Toes, toes, go to sleep toes.” slowly, I feel my body relax. If I am not feeling relaxed/sleepy by the time I am halfway up/mid-torso, I start over. Usually, on the good nights – I nod off a bit before I finish. But sadly, when I am at my most busy and stressed days that I have so many thoughts running around in my head – I can’t think to do this little exercise!
Warren is a tool.
I thought the pictures were fine and the fact that you sounded intelligent and informed without seeming bitter was impressive. Can’t say that for all!
Have a good weekend!
Great! I finally got rid of those JTT dreams…
(I hope no one finds those teeny-bopper mags in my mattress).
I’m right there with ya Fish on the arm crooked over your ear. I have to sleep with my left arm crooked over my head and my right leg bent at the knee, if i sleep on my back – otherwise I just hear too many little noises & I start freaking out (as I too live alone). I’ve got to sleep on my back so I can see the door to my bedroom & the window, to ensure lunatic is in my doorway or watching me sleep through my window! If I wake up facing the wall, I totally freak out, fearing someone is standing over my bed! We all have our things…
Whoops I missed a word – I meant to ensure NO lunatic is in my doorway or watching me through the window!
What´s the link to the article? I can´t seem to find it…and it´s Friday, so I don´t want to overuse my brain hahaha
I swear I’ve heard in the last several years that JTT is now gay…
I have to sleep with all my covers on, my air down to 65, and my ceiling fan on. I tried to sleep without the ceiling fan off the other night and I just couldn’t do it. I think I started doing it b/c in the summer my bedroom is really hot, since it’s on the top floor of my two story townhouse.
He went to Harvard!
(I had that exact thought about three weeks ago…otherwise, I wouldn’t have known. Really.)
i’ll have you know that i hadn’t thought of roman meal bread since my childhood in texas
and now of course IT IS ALL I THINK ABOUT
did you know: “On a daily ration of two pounds of wheat or rye, these foot soldiers had the strength and stamina to conquer the then-known world!” (exclamation courtesy of romanmeal.com)
each loaf is like a pound of history in a polyethylene bag
Dear Fish…yes, I am sleepy now. Off for another cup of Tazo. I think I must have a more rapid pulse, because even at rest, I equate my marching soldiers to ants…busy little ants rushing to get things done, hopefully while I sleep.
Ciao, sweet dreams, and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Especially the ants…
when I was little I used to think there was an army of ants marching in my pillow case! My mother had to explain the whole “pulse” theory to me. haha
Oh good grief. I just did that and it so works. But now I am the goofy girl with the arm raised over her ear, “Listening for the soliders.” Sometimes you should fight the urge to explain your odd actions in the workplace.
He was actually at Harvard for only one year. Was rumored to come back, but never did (at least not before I graduated). Many of the celebrity types find it hard to contend with the rule that you have to live in the dorms frosh year…I’m not a celebrity and even I resented it :-\
heather- I wanted to be a pilot when I was about six and would go a pre-flight checklist as I fell asleep. I think I still do that
hahahaha this is FANTASTIC! I used to have the worlds largest crush on JTT. When I was little my friends and I used to point at every JCT sign on the highway and say “If that C were a T…that would say JTT” (winners)…
I HAVE to sleep facing the door and on the side furthest from it. I actually dated a guy who refused to let me sleep on his side of the bed, which was the furthest. So I , in turn, refused to spend the night..
Oh and if you see JTT around Harvard Sqaure or wherever, send him my way. Im a bit “puffier” myself these days.
When I was small, my parents took me to Disneyland for the first time. It was the single most joyous and amazing thing that ever had happened to me – until I went on the Snow White ride.
From then on, all of the horrible possibilities of witches poisoning you in your sleep were made suddenly clear to me – symbolized by an apple placed in your unsuspecting hand. From that point on, sleeping spread out on my bed arms open to dreams became vulnerability. Open to witches putting a poisoned apple in my open hand.
To this day, I sleep curled and closed. I am a victim of that fear.
Maybe I can call on the Roman Meal Soldier to stand guard.
I’m glad that works for you. I used to have to take prescription sleeping pills. Now those really work…
i loved JTT so much, that my wallpaper was composed of all his bebop magazine pictures. seriously, one whole wall was plastered with his face. the other walls were saved for devon sawa, andrew keegan, and sulley from dr. quinn
It’s the blood that your heart pumps that you hear… nice blog
Does no one count sheep anymore? Am I the only one relying on wooly jumpers to get me to sleep?
you know, JTT is going to be googling himself in the next few days, just to pacify himself into thinking his 15 minutes of fame aren’t gone, and isn’t he gonna be suprised to find himself here. cracks me up just thinking about it.
i can’t sleep unless all arms and legs, feet and hands are under the covers. it harkens back to when i was younger, and my brother decided to play a prank on me by hiding under my bed while i was reading some steven king novel, and he reached up to grab my exposed ankle just as i had reached a particularly scary part. my scream probably woke the world, and i’m scarred forevermore because of that.
Your posts have been boring lately. Kick it back into gear. We want to see a car wreck.
he was on smallville last season…or maybe the season before….
i ALWAYS sing the words to “we didn’t start the fire” in my head before falling asleep. i have never reached the end
When I was a kid, I used to think the sound was like a soldier marching through the cold, crunchy snow.
WHERE IS JTT?
Guess what jonathan taylor thomas became a director and he just divorce his wife last year and he is now engaged to my mom. I am so lucky.
Guess what jonathan taylor thomas became a director and he just divorce his wife last year and he is now engaged to my mom. I am so lucky.
Jonathan Taylor Thomas is gay, and he now resides in not only California, but NYC. He is still a vegetarian, and has never been married, nor engaged. He is “coming out” to become some what of an idol to young teens struggling with their sexual orientation. He last made a short film call the “Extra”. He has been known to frequent such clubs as Posh, and “G” in NYC, as well as Mood, in LA.