I’ve just been madamed for the tenth time in as many minutes, and I must have frowned involuntarily, because the attendant stopped in the aisle and leaned over me.
“Something is wrong, madame?”
“No, no. Everything is perfect.”
The rhubarb raspberry cream tart was perfect. As were the marinated mushrooms and caramelized onion quiche. Ridiculously so, for train food. It’s all this madame business. It makes me feel old! The last time I was on the Eurostar, I was traveling with my mother. She was madame and I was mademoiselle and that was great. It made me feel very young and cute.
I’m still young and cute, dammit! At heart, at least. I mean, I obviously look every second of my (almost) 30 years. But still.
I’d suggest we just dispense with the formality altogether, but they’re all very polite here in first class, it might cause some sort of train malfunction. Did you catch that? First Class. Because I am a classy gal. Actually, when I was given a Eurostar voucher to get me from Point A (London) to Point B (Paris, to catch a night train to Barcelona), it was for a round trip ticket. And when Nigel, the friendly Eurostar agent, learned that I wouldn’t be returning to London, he sent me an email,
“Since you won’t be returning, we would be happy to offer you a one-way ticket in first class.”
And I’d be happy to accept!
Unless, of course, they don’t bother with this madame crap in standard class. And if that’s the case, I’m picking up my rhubarb raspberry tart and going to sit with the commoners. Where I will be blaming Nigel for making me suddenly feel very much my age.
Madame, my ass.
I know what you mean. I feel so OLD when people call me ma’am. I’m not 40!
Have fun in Paris!
Yeah :sigh: you get used to that when living in France beyond the age of 30!! I definitely don’t feel like Madame, and when I’m called Mademoiselle, I’m usually surprised these days!
Hope you have a great time in Barcelona! My boyfriend wants us to spend a weekend there in November, but I’m hoping for Prague… I’d love to do both, but budget constraints — ah, choices, choices!
I second that feeling!
Living in the south, it’s inevitable that even 25-year-olds get ma’am’ed occasionally.
I once got a business email at my work addressing me as Mrs. That took the cake, since apparently they know more than I do about my love life.
haha, don’t sweat it. I’ve been madam/madame since i was 14, its just the way things go in europe
Standard class: No constant madames, but no raspberry rhubarb tart either. It’s a trade-off
I know what you mean! I don’t understand at what age we shift from miss to ma’am, but it is is way before we’re ready for it.
But doesn’t it mitigate it somewhat when said in a lurvely accent?
Okay, maybe not all those times; perhaps just the first……
My suggestion, think of it this way:
While “mademoiselle” may be young and cute, she’s also too young for the respectable gentlemen in First Class to indulge in without snickers of “trophy hunting” or worse.
Meanwhile a gorgeous (and still young) “madame” such as yourself can inspire both interest and desire in that handsome and respectable early-thirties doctor or architect sitting two rows behind you. Men who don’t want “very young and very cute”, they want “beautiful, intelligent woman of travel and the arts”. A woman who is both as beautiful as you are, and as intelligent and thoughtful in conversation as you are.
The men in First Class that you want to desire you graduated from “mademoiselle” to “madame” about the same time they graduated from pounding lagers to sipping merlot.
At least, that’s the opinion of a man who has rested comfortably in a First Class seat on the EuroStar from London to Bordeaux (via Paris). I would chose “madame” Fish over ANY “mademoiselle” every time.
Hey Fish! Long time no comment but always reading…. Anyway, I moved to Paris at 24, and ha-ha-HATED being called “Madame,” but it’s actually the more polite way to address anyone over 20, and isn’t so old lady sounding now that I’ve gotten used to it. You must let me know if you come to Paris, s’il te plait…..
I actually thought about you when I was in Paris! I was only there to catch a train though, with an hour to get from Gare du Nord to Austerlitz… Next time! Next time we will meet for drinks!
I was working at an expo two weeks ago, which was held at a college. It was for local businesses, but some of the students were checking out the booths as part of a class assignment I’m sure. Anyway, one of them called me ma’am and I about flipped out. I’m 24, this guy was probably only 3 or 4 years younger than me =(. I feel for ya’ Fish!!!
and now i think about it, in french you’ll be ‘madame poisson’! Not a bad namesake at all i think!
I feel you on this! Try working with kids and teenagers for a living…no matter how young I look and/or feel, I will always be older than them and am, thus, “ma’am.” I’ve *just* started to get used to this after a year…but I still don’t like it.
On the other hand, that rhubarb raspberry cream tart sounds like a nice consolation prize!
Don’t worry dear : in Quebec it was ruled that no one was a Mademoiselle anymore, since it referred to a woman begin married or not… so everyone’s a Madame now, however old… or young in your case!
I totally thought you were going to tell us you met Nigel Barker!
first class treatment sure makes it hard to go back to coach, doesn’t it?? Eh, Madame just sounds classier, and they can obviously tell you have class.
Honey. You’re in Europe. In first class. Hell, they could call me bitch and I wouldn’t complain. Appreciate, girl…appreciate!!
I say that with nothing but love, btw.
i remember the first time someone called me “sir” … this was a clerk in a record store and i was browsing through the rock / heavy rock section … no big deal LOL … what was a little more annoying was the “shouldnt you be in that section” look he gave me nodding towards the musicals and soundtracks section … bloody cheek!! … the young pup – should’ve known better – didnt he realize I’d seen the stones when brian jones was still alive … opps I’ve given it away … maybe i should grow older a little more gracefully … still like hard rock tho
I studied abroad in France last year, and I think I only ever got called Madamoiselle about twice– I’m 21 and I look like I’m 17. It’s not an insult. The only people I heard called Madamoiselle were girls under about 12.
Come to think about it, guys my age on campus here in Texas call me ma’am quite often: I’ll say “thank you, sir,” for a guy holding a door for me and they’ll reply with “yes, ma’am.” It’s a respect thing, not an age thing.
Yeah, the ma’am/madame thing is a bit unsettling. But I’ve always said I’d rather be old and wise than young and stupid. I can’t wait to turn 30
Last night I was just ma’amed! I hate it! I told the guy as polite as possible that he couldn’t call me ma’am cause I was only 25 and ma’am is for old ladies!
Heather, I apologize; I by no means meant to be “snarky” about your traveling. Kudos to you, work your magic. Your life your blog do you. Long time reader last time posting.
I’m only 21 and I can’t say for sure but I think would love to be called madame. It sounds glamorous and fabulous… unlike “ma’am.”
I agree with Mr. Oregon. It never ceases to amaze me, how long American women want to stay girls. You are grown; own it; Madam is a term of respect. I do realize identity is harder today since you no longer have the same markersââmarriage and childrenââthat make for the transition, as back in the day.
I’m almost 50, but I look preternaturally young. My friends don’t understand, but I hate being addressed in youthful terms; grown men do not take young women seriously. And for me, respect is power; men do for women they respect.
It is much better as a woman, to be respected than flattered, even if the man is younger than you. Would you rather be called ma’am or madam, or honey, miss, baby, or girl?
Okay i just had the SAME feeling tonight…i stop by the liquor store before getting home to grab a beer, what the hell it is Friday:) and i did NOT i repeat did NOT get carded for the billionth time…cant they at least humor me