I woke up this morning in a geriatric state of mind.
Geriatric, says my mother, is not about how old you are; it’s how old you feel. Just yesterday, my mom was grousing about Sally Field shilling for osteoporosismeds, and how, despite only a 6 year age difference, such a thing makes Sally geriatricand my mother, decidedly not. I’m now curious about Mom’s bone density, but that is neither here nor there. This morning, I feel old. Like, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up old. I can’t turn my head in either direction (I shouldn’t have been allowed to come anywhere near the I-75 on-ramp) and I’m lowering myself into chairs. Even Sally Field doesn’t have to do that shit, I bet.
And all because of… a jogging accident. Right? So silly. I was trotting along, do-do-do, minding my own, thinking about some crazy article I read on folks who prefer to run barefoot, when the mom-jogger in front of me came to a dead stop. Just like that. She didn’t glance over her shoulder; didn’t pull off to the side. Just stopped, right in the middle of the pedestrian only lane – with a double-wide stroller. Over which I then proceeded to tumble rather awkwardly.
“Oh my god!” she said.
“No kidding,” I said, recovering into a hop-skip. I rotated one ankle, then the other. Everything seemed sound.
“You should really be more careful.”
“I… what?” I looked at her to check for sarcasm face. I got angry rich lady face, instead. “But you stopped! Without looking! In the PEDESTRIAN ONLY LANE with a stroller with like, 18 wheels. Not feet. WHEELS.”
She looked confused and annoyed. I wanted to explain that unless she planned on dragging her kids down the trail on foot, they did not belong on the squishily paved black top. Instead, I shook my head and rearranged my earphones. She muttered something about an apology. As in, she wanted one.
“Okay, ” I said.”I’m sorry you haven’t lost your baby weight?”
Fine. I didn’t really say that. But I sure wanted to. If it were Ari, she’d have said it and her delivery would have had that lady sputtering and flustered. But I’m me, and I’m really only mean and funny when I’m certain no one is going to hurl a sippy cup at me. So, being me, I just ignored her and went on with my run.
And by “ignored her” I mean, I might have flipped her off. Which, considering I woke up broken and geriatric, seems like the least I could have done.
I love that she blamed you first. I would have done the same thing and not said anything and cursed her internally.
The other day, a waitress messed up my order (among other things) and blamed me and told me it was no big deal, as if to comfort me for ordering the wrong thing. I was so confused!
As much as I feel for the plight of stroller moms living in suburbia where planners don’t feel the need to build sidewalks, she should not have been on a jogging trail with her stroller. Bikes, blades, strollers all go in the other lane. Sadly, my experience with new mothers has been overwhelmingly with the baby brain. The hormones must make women stupid because it’s as though their world has shrunk and shriveled up to only include baby-mommy interactions. The world revolves around the stroller and nothing you can say or do will change that. It’s a good thing you kept the snarky sarcasm in check. Knowing you, it would just have made you feel small and awful. But you should still call Ari and have her rant on your behalf. In fact, I’m hoping she rants in the comments
It’s amazing how you feel the day following a small tumble or bumping into a table. At the time it happens you hurt for a couple of minutes, then you’re fine. No problem. Waking up the following morning is a different story. It’s exactly as you said, you feel old. Old, stiff, and tired. You think, “Walking into a table did this!?”
What a rancid bitch! Welcome to Dallas I guess… I have been out of there for too long and am moving back in August. Maybe I will bump into you on the Katy trail!
I did some gardening on Sunday, I’ve had to take 5 minutes to lower myself on the toilet ever since….the backs of my thighs are KILLING me.
That probably tells you more about my general state of fitness that about how beautiful my garden now looks
Lilli
Hey some things are better left unsaid heh
shoot, i’m glad you had the wherewithal to say ANYTHING to her! Angry Rich Lady faces make me nutty.
The self-absorption of some people never ceases to amaze me. Had I been the mom with the stroller I would have fallen all over myself apologizing to YOU.
And I certainly hope you’d be gracious about it.
I’m glad that you held back and didn’t subject her to the “low blow” (remind her of baby weight).
I’m single girl in Northeast, and your post does remind me of the “subversive” division between women: married vs. single, mothers vs non-mothers. . . . Ladies, can we all just get along?
Had said mom thrown in a cussword or 2, I might have thought you were in New England, or at least somewhere in MA! People never cease to amaze me.
Hope you feel better. I suggest some wine, or maybe vodka/tequila….
I hardly think this is an issue of married/single, mother/non-mother! You would be hard pressed to tell the difference between them on a jogging trail, unless one brings a stroller onto the wrong path and then gets angry and defensive about it. Mayhaps you are misguided in your analysis…
Sounds like a case of a Silicon Valley Mom transported to Texas – guess they’re the same everywhere
This is precisely why I try to be as sedintary as possible.
I think you should start running with a big foam rubber bat and bopping people on the head when they get in your way.
I would like to do this to the kids that dart out in front of me when I’m running along the beach. I can’t believe I haven’t yet tackled one into the sand.
i wish you had said the thing about the baby weight to her. that would have been so funny.
One of the biggest pet peeves of my life these days is annoying self centered women with baby strollers. I live in LA and I particularly hate the double wides, which are everywhere – as someone whose husband is an “irish twin” ….who came up with these evil things? They are the same as an SUV – just try seeing or getting around one. Our moms all got by without this crap, my mother in law did in the 70′s with two boys less than a year apart….but then again, our moms had manners and didn’t feel the need to make everyone else suffer because they had offspring. The rest of the world is not like this, folks. I cannot believe where people are taking their kids – not everything needs to be stroller accessible as kids don’t belong everywhere. They certainly do not belong on a jogging/walking path.
It would have been forgivable if she had just had the manners to pull off to the side, but what she did is the same as someone stopping in the middle of the road to answer their cell phone.
You should have taught her kids some curse words – then again, you have manners. The sad thing is that she thinks she is in the right here.
Hang in there fish, and ice packs are good for whatever aches.
As a mom with a double-wide (who used to live in L.A), I can say that some of us DO need these strollers. HOWEVER, it DOES NOT mean that the rest of the world must get out of our way!!!!!
Sometimes I think that the moms of my generation believe that we are the first women to ever give birth! It’s ridiculous!
The way I see it, if I’m gonna bring that big honkin’ stroller with me, it’s MY JOB to look out for the folks around me! And I DON’T bring it to crowded areas with a lot of pedestrian traffic, and if I DO take it on a trail, it’s a 2-lane trail, where the right lane is specifically marked for slower foot traffic AND STROLLERS.
That woman is evil. I feel sorry for her kids. OK, sometimes we have mom-brain moments (if that’s even what happened, and she wasn’t simply being a selfish, self-centered bitch), but if we have one that causes bodily harm to another person, it is OUR fault, and we should apologize, and make sure you are OK.
Honestly. What the hell has happened to common courtesy?
It’s been a while since I commented but I had to say something about this! Oh EM GEE! I hate that, I live Santa Barbara its like Beverly Hills but richer, and no smog. This what you just said is all I see. or else little rich girls with their darn toy dogs!!!! they actually have little dog strollers and they put them in baby carrying cases on their fronts!!! Last I checked Dogs were able to walk!!! but these mothers take up the entire lane in the grocery store, b/c they are too busy on their blackberrys or cells than pay attention to their 2yr old dumping bread all over the aisle, or they just leave their SUV, Luxury Van doors open while they put everyone in and they check their make up while you are trying to park in the spot next to them in a crowded shopping center.
Mothers don’t forget you were once us!!! Just because you are a mom doesn’t mean you can do what you please! A baby is not a hall pass!
She was wrong, absolutely.
But your first thought is so hateful and hurtful that it’s a little off-putting. “Get your head out of your ass!” would have been a fine response. But to belittle someone for the shape and size of their body? It’s beneath you.
I suppose it would have been if I’d said it. But don’t go pretending you don’t think mean things when the gloves come off. And if you don’t, well, I’ll be the first to nominate you for sainthood.
She was horrid. All bets were off.
OK I finally have to delurk because your posts crack me up. I wish you had said that! I always think of the perfect comeback…about 20 minutes too late.
Why do people pushing strollers always think they have the right-of-way. In grocery stores, at the airport, in the ped lane at the park? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a near-miss with one. I’m sorry there was no near-miss with the double-wide, and hope you feel better soon!
This reminds me of the time I was rear ended by a mom in a school zone because I stopped at a crosswalk to let a wee one cross the street after school.
Her kids were having a fit in the back of the car and, oops, I guess she forgot she was operating a one ton vehicle. In a school zone. Where there are small children other than hers. Everywhere.
All I could think about was what if she had hit me so hard that I moved forward and hit that little kid crossing the street. I was livid.
I’m not Tom Cruise and in denial about post-partum, but if I hear an excuse for someone who has “mommy brain” again, I’m gonna hurl. Stay home!
Hope you feel better! Jogging accidents are never fun. Hopefully you’ll heal up and psycho-mom will lose the baby weight. Then everyone can be happy.
How about, “OK, I’m sorry your kid’s going to be raised by someone so oblivious and self-centered. Good luck with that.” Cell phones and strollers = evil when in the wrong hands…
That happens to me at Wal-Mart… a lot.
Fish;
This cracked me up. I think I encountered the same double stroller on the trail here last week! Perhaps she is bouncing between Nashville and Texas. I personally think the big foam rubber bat is a great idea!
This is a hilarious post. I love the “And by ‘ignore her’ I mean I might have flipped her off.” Died laughing!
At least you’re not naturally klutzy like me. I have many unexplainable bruises on my legs. I never know what I did…they just appear. And I was running a 10K (http://travelsandunravels.blogspot.com/2008/04/runners-high.html) the other day and poured water into my ear. So hey, at least your injury wasn’t SELF inflicted!
My god, you know me too well. Now I have to get you to channel me at these highly appropriate moments. Like now;
Alyce, be less of a pill, no one needs the thought police.
Sounds like someone is a little jealous that she doesn’t have a baby to push on that trail. Your clock sure is ticking, so you take it out on someone who has a husband and children.
Get over it! Geesh, it’s not like she ran you over with her stroller.
As the ‘best friend’ to two new moms…..
…I declare that neither of them would ever do anything THAT inconsiderate.
However, that being said….next time you find yourself sore and achey – - head down to Cuba Libre. My buddy David and I will be happy to share our pitcher of mojitos (okay, maybe it was THREE pitchers, but we were celebrating our single-non-child-bearing-lives).
You, my dear, have totally nailed the reason I don’t play on the Katy Trail any longer.
Hey, Not A Mom (By Choice), I totally hear you on your frustration with the mom-brain thing. Unfortunately, mine has lasted for almost 7 years, and I have to get out sometime,lol! Although, in my defense, my mom brain usually kicks in when I’m trying to remember things (like peoples’ names, or where I just set down that bag of groceries), and not when I’m driving, thank God!
I don’t think that woman who rear-ended you had mom brain. I think she was being a selfish, clueless idiot. I’m constantly amazed at the reckless driving by other moms in the parking lot at my kids’ school!!!!! I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been tailgated by other moms as we drive to the school, while we’re in the school zone!
I always thought that becoming a parent meant you had to become a little MORE responsible, not less. Silly me.
I want Ari to be my friend too!
That is absolutely horrid behaviour…but one thing though. Not to defend her (I have a bad habit of apologizing when other people step on ME so her actions were appalling to me) but I jog in Central Park and never know what lane to run in. Though the lanes are clearly marked, no one follows the rules and so while I believe one lane is for foot traffic and the other for those on wheels I tend to run in whatever lane prevents me from getting hit. That said, I dont want to see what her children turn out to be like. Just what the world needs, more self absorbed mothers raising self absorbed children. I WISH you’d made the baby-weight comment… or better yet forced her to get her tubes tied
Of course I think mean thoughts on occasion. I never said I was perfect. I am human. I said only that voicing them was beneath you.
Racist, sexist, classist, misogynist, anti-Republican (sorry, Ari) thoughts do come to mind from time to time. Thoughts that I do not put voice to, because doing so gives power to a thought that was better left unsaid. I think the way that I think because of what I know, how I was raised and the many, innumerable ways in which I am mirroring the society that I live in. Recognizing my prejudices is one step of many in unpacking my invisible knapsack.
Be careful what you give voice to.
ummm…I kinda agree with the woman with the kids. You probably should have been paying attention even if she did stop in the middle of the lane (but that’s just my opinion). Hopefully, the ache will stop soon. Take a nice hot bath and then go to bed!
I want to know what you turned up in your headphones! I’m sure there’s got to be a good country song somewhere about wrecking your double wide!
Time to treat yourself to a massage, although sadly not on the expense account of this entitled idiot.
Hmmm… don’t talk about what I think or feel because it may be potentially ugly? Sounds a little bit like repression to me. I’m gonna take a chance with those ugly thoughts and go right on being honest about who I am – even all the nasty, mean thoughts. You might just do enough holding in for the both of us.
Didn’t you get the memo? The world is supposed to stop for people with children….
Not that that’s not important. I get that to you, your children and everything about them is numero uno to you. But to the rest of us…yeah. I work in retail and it’s a little ridiculous…its not a big deal to be a bit frazzled with a kid, but to act like that to someone when it’s your fault? What a biotch.
I hope that chick reads your blog. Wouldn’t that be classic? Maybe she does…maybe it’s one of the haters!
I told my husband this story, he wanted to know: Were you running sooo freakin’ fast you couldn’t go around the lady? I think that YOU should be the one to apologize. I can’t believe it made you so upset, enough to flip off someone with young children. It goes to show you that you are not mature enough to be a mother. Those of us with children know what is acceptable to do in front of a child and what is not.
Get over yourself, Fish!
a couple days ago a friend of mine was biking down a street and got doored by a car (the woman opened her car door out into the street without looking and hit my friend, sending her flying) and then proceeded to yell at my friend for not having good enough brakes. sounds like the asshole who yelled at my friend while she was bleeding on the ground should get together with the oblivious stroller women, eh?
I read your blog regularly and usually concur with your sentiments, but I can’t join you on this one. Clearly she was a rude woman, but that was determined after the dustup. Ask yourself a question:
How would you have felt if while jogging past, the baby threw out their bottle and you fell because of it? Pissed off at its lack of motor skills? Doubtful, at least I hope. The primary factors at play here are your body control and your risk assessment.
If you were unable to change direction or stop, you determined the level of risk to be low and acted accordingly. It’s no different than when you drive through a busy parking lot. You don’t do it at 30mph as the risk factor is highly elevated compared to a country road. You alter what you can control, in this case the car, based on the perceived risks.
Given that you did not change your controls (or slow down/redirect) you had determined that there was a low level of risk. Most often, we determine risk though our knowledge of prior experiences, like touching a hot stove. I’d venture that you haven’t had this type of accident before, in which case, you’re really not to blame either. No more so than if a tree branch fell in front of you and you tripped on it, just bad luck. If this IS a recurring theme for you, I give you the virtual glare and warn you to not turn down the brain no much when you’re running (I know, its hard!) or find more seclusion.
Why should you have to find someplace else?!? Exactly! That mom should NOT be allowed to bring the kids into that wonderful natural area, because she might randomly stop. Better for her to wait until the kids are older, say six or seven, no wait, they’re entirely eratic on their own feet at that point, maybe when they’re old enough to bike, no, put them on two unstable wheels and they’re even worse. Really, the kids shouldn’t be out there until they are 13-14, and preferrably not in loitering groups.
As far as not having a stroller on the pedestrian trail, yes, I realize many trails put bikers/rollerbladers/strollers on the same side/trail. Frankly, this is idiotic of the city planning people. Maybe its a ‘hey they all have wheels, so they should be together’ group think that prevails, but in reality the mode of transport for a stroller is pedestrian pushing. They have much more in common with joggers/walkers then with the rest of the trail users. I doubt you think you’d be more in control on a bike going 20mph when that same mom stops in front of you. That’s just more dangerous for everyone.
All that being said, wow I feel preachy, I chuckled at your baby weight comment and vascilated between ‘you bitch’ and ‘I love it!’ You have just enough edge to make you wildy intriguing, probably why I like reading your missives. Chalk it up to ‘**** happens.’ and move on with your day, don’t give this stroller woman the power to change your mood.
Keep writing and I’ll keep reading!
Kevin
Same rules as driving your car. The following party, the one who can see the other party, has an obligation to not run into the leading party. She shouldn’t have stopped without warning. You shouldn’t have been following so closely that you could not avoid running into her.
Her comments after the collision are inexcusable.
The woman with the baby stroller was thoughtless in stopping and causing Fish to plow into her and clearly out of line for immediately blaming her for the accident. Yes, perhaps Fish should have been paying closer attention, etc. But, accidents happen and sometimes one person is at fault, sometimes everyone is at fault–whatever. That’s not what’s important here. Accidents happen. But, it seems pretty obvious to me that once you get past first grade, if you do something stupid which causes someone else physical harm, you don’t berate the person you’ve harmed! The woman was a brat and probably blames the world for everything. I’m sure NOTHING in her life is ever her fault. People like this make me crazy cuz unfortunately, there are tons of ‘em out there. She’s got a couple more she’s raising in the stroller who will probably be doing the same thing very very soon.
However, I can’t say I support flipping the lady off with her kids there. I understand the feelings behind it and we don’t always behave perfectly after someone behaves with such shocking rudeness towards us so I get WHY you did it. I just can’t say I would do that myself. It’s kinda takes your breath away when someone is that big of a jerk but I think the whole flipping someone the bird thing is pretty juvenile. I would probably have said a couple pithy things to her and limped away.
Or, there’s the more mature, MUCH preferred route of finding out where she lived and t-p-ing her house or saran-wrapping her mini-van. That works, too.
Not that it really has anything to do with anything, but I just love how the “get over yourself” people are always so self-assured and confident that they can never bring themselves to comment with a name.
Aaaaaaa-men! Anonymity is such a confidence booster.
Dude, you need to be more careful when you’re running behind Stephanie K. She’ll cut a bitch.
Kidding! I am kidding!
As a mommy by choice, I do use a stroller. You would be absolutely amazed at just how invisible strollers are to people without children. I am constantly being run into by people who didn’t see the stroller and then proceed to give me a dirty look or shoot me the finger because they were not looking where they were going. Occasionally, I do get in a bad mood and feel irritated when someone obvliously runs into me. All of you non-stroller people, think about it, do you often get hit by a stroller or are you the one running into it? I don’t think I have ever hit anyone, but lots and lots of people have hit me and the stroller because they were not looking where they were going.
Okay, so maybe both people weren’t paying attention, maybe one was more in the wrong than the other – big whoop. People make mistakes, and this one isn’t high up on the list for either one.
Where I think the other lady lost it is when she scolded Fish like she would have one of the children she was pushing in that stroller. Adults don’t (or, shouldn’t) speak to each other like that. Had she just said, “Are you okay?” or something, not even apologized, necessarily, I have a feeling there wouldn’t have been anything to read about on here.
Given the circumstances, I think Fish’s reaction was totally justified.