I’m being challenged on my recollection of what happened re: the mockery blog. And since I can’t confirm, just yet, where I got my information from, I think the responsible thing to do is remove the post until I can.
Update: Well, now I can confirm it, should anyone need to be reassured. It was, in fact, pretty public knowledge. As published on Lindsayism.com,
“My friend Emily, coiner of the brilliant epithet “Scary Sadshaw”, went ahead and created the aforementioned Other Boys Like Me So Marry Me Already parody-blog. You go, girl! LOL! Let’s meet for cosmos at (whatever bar those broads go to — like, Murray Hill or something?) tommorow night!“
It should be noted that Emily has emailed to deny involvement. She has also sincerely apologized. I’ll let you know when I make sense of that.
Good for you for keeping this up. It was an experience you had, and you’re allowed to talk about it, whether the people who were hateful apologized or denied it or what.
It must be said that Emily denied involvement because she was baffled by the post and honestly didn’t remember the joke blog, which was only active for a couple of days five years ago, and which was, it must be noted, aimed at oversharey dating bloggers (which was then a new thing) in general and not at Heather personally. Either way, it’s nothing Emily or I would ever do now. I would say that that entire run of blogging about “Scary Sadshaws” was motivated equally by immaturity, lack of awareness that the targets of our satire would ever see it, and perfectly understandable rage that our entire generation was being defined by Sex and the City. Anyway, it’s been many years since anyone involved has written anything catty about another woman writer – in fact, here’s Emily’s recent essay (Oct 2009) about just that topic: http://moreintelligentlife.com/content/emily-gould/what-are-women-fighting-about
(Now can we all get along?)
At the time, it was pretty clear that everyone involved with the mean parody blog was very aware that their targets saw it.
People change, hopefully and thankfully, but I agree with Kate: Heather is entitled to discuss her experience.
Lindsay,
It was a pointed attack. Entire excerpts from my blog were published on there, like I said, with alterations to make me look foolish. There was a separate, companion blog parodying the douchebag I was dating. You apologized to me when we first met – why else would you have done that if it wasn’t personal?
Look, this happened. It was mine to talk about. Any success we have will always be mitigated by our failings. That Emily’s failing seems to have been kindness, well, that’s unfortunate.
Yes, we can all get along.
I’m smelling awesome plotline; it ends with the subsidiary character, Emmaline Gofer, doing something humiliating in public…oh, wait…never mind. Give Hal kiss from me.
Are you kidding? She mocked you for your blog being overly personal yet she’s been making a living writing about her life?! LOL What a fuckwit. I had never heard of her until now, but rest assured I will not buy her book even if it is the last reading material I can find and I will happily talk bad about her to my friends or anyone I see picking up her book
Long time reader (2003? 02?), occasional commenter here.
Heather, keep on rockin on.
If only forgetting our own cruelties meant that they didn’t happen.
Fish, I don’t entirely understand what happened but I am glad you’re still blogging. I would miss you if you decided to stop sharing your life with the internets. Thank you for your courage and humility.
Ok – at the risk of sounding like a total stalker, or worse, a loser, you rock X 1000. I’m glad you kept at the blogging. It sounds like you learned a lot of tough but valuable lessons from it. Continued success.
From what I know firsthand about Emily Gould, I imagine she has to put out fires like this on a daily basis, given her past and the fact that now she has a book out.
You handled this with dignity, Heather.
I vaguely recall when this was happening and the ridiculousness of it back then. You handled it well then, and true to form you still handle your business with grace and dignity. Karma turned and smacked Miss Emily right upside the back of her head.
What I find amusing about the entire thing is that my therapist told me to start a blog. Some therapists are using blogging as a tool in order to “break the silence” or break through isolation per se.
I think Emily basically got her comeuppance with this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-avakrRUaU
Ashley, thank you so much for posting that clip. So awkward!
that clip was painful.
still cringing.
Hello Sunshine!
Susanne and Mrs Greg House have said it best and I second both of them.
How’s is Sir Hal today? Fairing better I hope. Send my regards and let him know I’m thinkin’ of him.
Rock on, Girl!
That video of Emily on Jimmy Kimmel was amazing! I’m so glad they talked to her like that! How has Gawker not been sued yet for Gawker Stalker?
I also watched this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q49uEi0Q5ok
she is a blithering idiot.
Thanks for writing these posts so I know to NOT buy her book and waste my money and time.
I love your blog and am very glad you have not stop blogging.
Heather,
I’m a long time blog reader of yours. You are classy, intelligent, interesting, and even when ‘snarky’-you are kind. I love your blog and will continue reading as long as you continue sharing.
Thank you for upholding your magnificent character when the sad and idiotic come trying to take you down.
LJ
Hal is hungry and ornery. Just as he should be
He’s feeling much better, though I think he misses his painkillers.
I had no idea who this Emily person was until I watched that clip (awful, just plain awful & completely deserved, in my opinion). All I have to say is that I have no idea how I found your blog but 3 or 4 years later it’s the only blog that I read (or have ever read) because I appreciate your voice & your opinions & your sense of humor. (As well as your good grammar & obvious proof reading because, man, it drives me crazy when I read spelling errors on the internet.)
Keep at it, Fish, because the people who matter don’t mind & the people that mind don’t matter.
It’s mind boggling that someone would actually have time or interest in setting up a blog like that (to make fun of you). What a fool! I agree with your position on the book…I was a blogger/relationship advice columnist for 6 years and I wrote a book with some of my blogged about dating experiences. Most feedback was very positive, but there was also criticism and judgment that hurt. Regardless of anything that this chick says, you know that your readers (here) love you and your writing–personal flaws and all! Do you want me to write her book a nasty review?!!!! Haha…kidding. Mostly.
Heather–I think I’m a lurker (not sure if I’ve ever commented before) but I just wanted to show my support! I don’t think people realize that being belittled ANYTIME is hurtful and demoralizing. Not to mention, by a fellow blogger who shares your medium, your venue, and your readership. How could she think her actions wouldn’t affect you?
I love how Emily Gould both denied and apologized. “Oh, I didn’t do it…but sorry.” I love your blog, and I love how it has gotten personal over the years! Not that I didn’t like your early blogging as well, but it was (understandably) less personal, more like witty posts about things going on in your life that we wouldn’t fully understand unless we knew all the key players. The fact that you’ve opened up your life to us is wonderful, and appreciated.
“…perfectly understandable rage that our entire generation was being defined by Sex and the City”
Really, Lindsay? Perfectly understandable rage? Ok, I can see being *annoyed* at feeling misrepresented by a TV show (a television show!). But rage? That’s where all this malarkey leaves me cold. I don’t know why your generation feels so entitled to its hate, and so proud of its lack of empathy and perspective and appreciation for cause and effect. Emily Gould was not unaware that those she scorned would be affected. She didn’t care. That much is clear. What is equally as clear is that she only cares now because her nose is being rubbed in it. A reckoning, I’m sorry to say, which may finally teach her a little something about being a human being. And if it doesn’t, oh well. She can write another book about not having grown one damn bit in another ten years.
The last two posts are the two most eloquent burns I have ever witnessed in my entire life. Congratulations.
Wow, I hate to be mean sprited(not really) but watching the YouTube clip was just uncomfortable and I found myself wondering if there was something physically wrong with Emily Gould. All of the eye-rolling and eyebrow-raising and weird expressions make her seem like she has some kind of brain damage or something.
Also, I don’t think anyone here has to worry about her book gaining any popularity. Based on this review it’s pretty pathetic…
http://www.salon.com/life/broadsheet/2010/05/04/emily_gould_heart_says
If she truly did forget that she even made the blog, THAT speaks volumes. And that her friend Lindsay tells us this as if it makes Emily’s denial more understandable/okay, rather than doubly offensive?
Seems they still haven’t actually learned how to be considerate adults, with an awareness of the effect their actions have on others.
I have no idea what’s actually going on… but I definitely have to chime in. I don’t get what’s wrong with some people. BUT all is right with you, Heather. Chin up, keep kickin’ it. After all, I’m looking rather forward to the wedding details, chiquita!
As a off and on blogger for years I have came to appreciate the fact that people will hate you for no apparent reason at all. For the moment, I have had no hate mail yet. No horrid comments. So I am going to take it as a mark that I have “Made It” in the blogging world when someone does manage to spend 5 to 10 minutes of their precious lives writing something snarky yet witty at the same time to make me miserable.
I am just waiting. Only a matter of time after all, it’s not like I hold my opinion back or anything…
For what it’s worth…. my Google Reader has just six feeds. I end my day with thoughts and words from bright, intelligent and upbeat writers. None of the six is mean spirited and each has a fun and unique view of the world.
You are one of those six.
Keep on doin’ what you do… and thanks!
Like someone above said, I also have no idea how I stumbled across your blog. But, it was years ago, and only a few others have been added to my regular reading. All of them share the same qualities, including integrity and honesty. With so much put out into the blogosphere, many have had to retract, clarify and even throw in an apology now and then. But, none thrive at the expense of others. And I avoid those that do. There is enough negativity in our real worlds – I don’t need to find more in my leisure reading.
Thanks for always putting forth the classy writing that you do, Heather. Hopefully the efforts have your readership more closely resembling yourself, and less of the petty, and sometimes viscous, comments you’ve had to overcome.
Oh, Andrea. I’m a little disappointed you went there. What separates the real criticism from the bitchiness is that it’s above board.