Today is the first day in eleven that I haven’t had a headache and I’m celebratin’ with a blog post.
Two Sundays ago, I got knocked down with a migraine so gnarly that the sound of my husband making chocolate milk at the other end of the house felt like that spoon was bouncing around tink, tink, tink inside every bone of my face. Then it never really went away. On Thursday, after a second migraine (this time, at work) that made my left foot go numb, I went to see a neurologist, who ordered an MRI and prescribed some sort of miracle, migraine killing drug. The kicker is, the drug is a compound only made at two pharmacies in the whole of Dallas/Fort Worth and wouldn’t be ready until… today. And in the meantime, I had to stop taking over-the-counter crap because, get this, it causes “rebound headaches.” So with ear plugs jammed into my ears and bags of frozen Brussels sprouts pressed into my left eye socket (what? the ice packs never resurfaced after our move) I watched the World Series and waited for the MRI that has to be approved and scheduled by my insurance company. I expect that to happen sometime around retirement.
What’s most frustrating, I mean, aside from constantly being able to feel my heart beat in my brain, the headaches do a really good job of making me stupid. I lose my train of thought, can’t seem to remember work-essential vocabulary words and I get so busy reminding myself to breathe in and out, basic literacy escapes me. It is not pretty.
But today I feel normal. And since any paranormal powers in the Universe responsible for jinxes and related silliness are all tied up in baseball right now, I think it’s safe to risk saying the headache is gone.
And speaking of baseball…
How’d you like that transition? Thanks. I worked hard on it.
With the Rangers in the World Series, I’m listening to a lot more sports radio on the way to work instead of my iPod. This morning, I happened to catch a segment the Ticket calls, “Women Say the Darndest Things About Sports.” The gem of this 5 minute trip down Condescension Street was an email from a dude who says he put a bunch of effort into coercing his wife into watching sports with him – with the singular goal that she say something revealing her lack of sports knowledge, thus giving him material to submit to the show. So he can have 45 seconds of fame. By making fun of his wife.
Wow, guy. Just wow. We’ll check back in on your marriage in a few years and see how it’s holding up.
The incredibly patronizing “Women Say” segment did a great job of highlighting what I don’t like about sports broadcasting and fandom:
- Sports knowledge does not equate to intelligence. I’m always a little baffled by the Sports Genius who is ignorant about so, so many other things (world events, finances, literature, HOW TO OPERATE SMALL HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES) and yet behaves as though his sports knowledge makes him somehow erudite. You big scholar, you.
- Many, many sports rules are not logical. When the Sports Naive asks why something happens the way it does, the Duh tone that accompanies the answer is absolutely ridiculous. I give my Dork Lord much credit for never, ever assuming the Duh tone with me. You don’t get to be patronizing about a past-time that fully supports wearing seven-day-dirty drawers as a talisman against losing. You just don’t.
- Sports broadcasting often panders to sexism. Because it can. Because bucket loads of sports fans don’t see anything wrong with it. They’re likely the same ones still screaming feminine pejoratives at the TV when their heroic sports icon doesn’t quite live up to his bazillion dollar pay, too. That’s one of my favorites. A wide receiver with too many dropped passes doesn’t just really suck at his job, he’s a pussy. If he’s down too long after a hit, he’s not engaging in histrionics, he’s a whiny bitch. In sports, when a man is under-performing, he’s equated to a woman. Nice, right? All I can say is, may the good lord bless you all with daughters. And someday, may some poor fool go on national radio and talk about your little girl like she’s a halfwit.
Glad you’re feeling better.
Even if you could locate the ice packs, it’s an awesome excuse to get rid of the brussel sprouts invading your freezer. “Oh no. We can’t eat these now. That’s just too bad…”
I like brussel sprouts! But I also liked doing book reports in school, so I understand how that may not be the general consensus.
I like Carolyn. And that you aren’t writhing in pain. I’m hoping that the MRI ok comes through fast. Let me know if there’s anyone I can yell at for you. xo
have you ever tried this? i haven’t, but i thought i’d put it out there in case it works: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2011/04/19/2233135/brain-freeze-seems-to-stop-migraine.html
I’m sorry about your headaches, that sounds awful, but I love your sports commentary.
You may have seen this already, but if you haven’t, i think you’d be a fan. More about combating the marginalization of women in our society via Hollywood, but still fighting the insidious sexism that we get so used to it doesn’t get questioned very often.
http://missrepresentation.org/
I appreciate you sharing – I hadn’t heard of this but am anxiously waiting to see it aired next month. The discussion on Halloween costumes and gender roles on their blog also really struck a chord with me. Thanks for helping make all of us more aware!
You aren’t the only one to take issue with that title. Check out the link to the column below. The column, “Ask Vic” is on the official Green Bay Packers website. The first comment after the article was written by a female fan who had a problem with the sexist headline. Her comment launched a torrent of abuse against her. Her dislike of the headline “Women say the darndest things” caused her to be be ripped to shreds, mocked and humiliated.
http://www.packers.com/news-and-events/ask-vic/article-1/Women-say-the-darndest-things/bbd717b2-718c-44b1-aef6-c75f02ee8aff
Wow. I love how the commenters justify the title by saying it’s a TV show. The only reason, “Kids say the darndest things,” is passable is because condescending to CHILDREN is acceptable. It is not, however, acceptable to patronize a woman, simply because she is a woman. In sports or any other topic.
It might be a dumb title, but I definitely don’t agree that “her comment launched a torrent of abuse against her.” Those comments were completely mild and not at all abusive. Now head over to Babble and read some of the comments on controversial posts there if you want to see what an abusive comment is, women hold the torch in that arena. I’m a woman and a mother who likes sports and I took no offense whatsoever to the post or the comments, I felt like the women were overreacting.
The comments on the Packer’s site were only the beginning. She was getting hate mail on her own blog. It WAS a torrent of abuse and she was most decidely NOT overreacting.
Interesting, though, that women are not a monolith. So, your not being offended by this does not mean it isn’t offensive. Frankly, saying the “women hold the torch in that arena” is misogynist. It is not one sex or the other who is the best at being mean. There are expert tongue lashers on both sides.
What medicine did you get for your migraines? My dad has gone to seemingly every type of doctor with no help.
I second asking what the prescribed for you. So far (fingers crossed) the triptans work for my 95% of the time, but since I have no defined triggers it’d be nice to know options in case I need them.
Oh, and ask your Dr if Aleeve is ok. I take it (rx strength though) with my Imitrex and my neuro has no problem with that.
I’ll look when I pick up the Rx – I have no clue what it’s called!
I get migraines very rarely now (thank goodness), but I used to get them nearly weekly and still have a small supply of Treximet on hand just in case. It’s essentially Imitrex + an NSAID because Imitrex alone never worked for me. Treximet was like a miracle.
I have long believed that there are special classes that boys are sent to, in which they learn the ins and outs of sports and the rules for each sport. Maybe that’s what they were doing when we had to watch the movies about blooming into womanhood. That doesn’t seem fair.
Oh dear lord, those MOVIES. Never did I want anything less than to blossom into anything after having to sit through those.
Did anyone else see the one with the mom who makes pancakes in the shape of ovaries + uterus in order to explain lady things to her daughter and a friend who’d spent the night? *shudder* no wonder I prefer waffles!!
Jessica – Yes! I had to watch that video with all the girls in my 5th grade class after they awkwardly separated the boys & the girls. We all came back into our classroom with horrified looks on our faces… who knows what the boys had to endure. To this day (I am now 26), I still can’t look at pancakes the same way and have a hard time eating them.
Twinges, Whinges, and Misandry
I found your blog while searching on Irina Dunn, men, fishes, and bicycles; and read through your migraine (also glad you’re feeling better) to get to the misogyny bit. I stopped when I caught your drift: irritation at the same old tired-out stereotypes, being repeated ad nauseum in public. Well, there is enough of that to go around for everyone, isn’t there? Thus my comment, to speak to the stereotypes about which no one else here seems to care.
Once upon a time, the age-old practice of honing the sharp edge of one’s tongue could earn a woman a turn on the dunking chair. Well, the shoe is on the other foot, now, and the stiletto heel on the bottom of it serves as a weapon more often than as a fashion statement. Feminist propaganda and other misandrist stereotypes have been made to saturate the rest of our media (which increasingly panders to misandrist sexism, also because it can) to the point of having acquired the force of “logic” that what is repeated often enough must be true because “everyone says so.” Lone voices such as Christina Hoff Sommers’ are simply drowned out in the overwhelming tide. In this manner, destructive misandrist stereotypes have not only been tightly woven into the fabric of our society, they have been codified into law in the U.S and U.K. Women have thus won for themselves the freedom to slice, dice, dissect, ridicule, patronize, and otherwise “put men in their place” (wherever that may be… doghouse? slagheap?) more than ever before– to the point of openly doing every single thing that women accuse men of doing to them, and more. In the face of all this, men are told (and, sadly, tell each other) to “take it like a man” (in our new PC lexicon, that is spelled “m-a-n” but pronounced “doormat”). Why do women speak of “getting even,” when it has nothing to do with equality?
In the mean time, “taking it like a woman” entails raising the cry of “misogyny,” “patriarchy,” and other heavily ladened words that equate to “victim” in one way or another. (It even includes the right to assault a man physically if she does not like what he says in her presence, and then to publish about it with impunity). When women themselves do the very things they protest (and do it obviously and publicly), they erode their own credibility as an increasing number of people come to recognize the double standard. That doesn’t benefit anyone, neither man nor woman, because no one has ever won real respect by stripping it away from someone else.
“Beware that you do not become the monster you are fighting.” Nowhere has this bit of sage advice been more deeply ignored than by today’s identity politicians who, by fighting only for their own groups, by fighting to keep special privileges and acquire more, and who fight by vilifying the members of some other group, manage only to increase divisiveness, tribalism, and factionalism. I wonder if I will live long enough to see the rise of a new humanism, where people work together to foster the best that human nature has to offer, for everyone.
By the way, I went back and read the rest of your article to see if my comments had got very much off topic. “Dork Lord”? QED! In all of your three points, I can point out where women frequently do the same sorts of things to men, both privately and publicly. What a bloody waste, the time and energy we spend ripping each other to shreds!!
Finally, if comments are moderated here, I challenge you to publish mine, uncensored. And then let the flames fly! Women claim the right to speak their truths, to say how they feel…and so do I.
That is some stellar mansplaining. Well done.
http://scienceblogs.com/thusspakezuska/2010/01/you_may_be_a_mansplainer_if.php
Ha! Awesome.
Geez. Jeff needs a blog.
Fish, has any doctor tried you on the standard migraine meds: the ones that end in either “ex” or “an”? There are a bunch…my daughter — now 22 — has had migraines since the age of 6. Imitrex works for magic for her. Happily, as she gets older, the headaches are fewer & farther between.
Right? I didn’t even want to get into his…argument. Especially once he deemed “Dork Lord’ either condescending or man-hating (hard to tell what, exactly, he meant by his “QED!”) when anyone who has any idea of what goes on here knows it’s an endearment to a man who loves his Sci-Fi almost as much as his programming – a self proclaimed computer nerd. Anyway, I just had to roll my eyes because he came looking for something to get tweaked about, so why not let him have his fun?
RE: meds – I think it ends in an “an”? But I will pick it up after work today and let you know.
I didn’t even expect to get published; I’m not surprised to be dismissed. Just out of curiosity, though, do you listen to sports radio looking for something to get tweaked about, and then blog your feelings about it for fun? Or, perhaps, maybe you tune in looking for something else, find yourself getting annoyed by what you hear, and feel the need to speak out about it? The latter would be my reason for writing. I thank you for publishing it, and for letting me have my say. Up to y’all, whether any of it makes any sense.
RE: MIGRAINES–UCLA was doing some early research into the potential effectiveness of biofeedback training, focusing on migraine sufferers. If I recall correctly (high school field trip, somewhere around 1973), the object was to enable sufferers to gain conscious control over the muscle spasms that trigger the headaches. Also if I recall right, they had success with it. Might be a medication-less path to explore, if you haven’t looked into it already.
Bye,
Jeff
Jeff obviously paid a lot for his college education. I guess he feels the need to put it to use at every opportunity. Way to bring enlightenment to someone’s personal blog Jeff. I guess you taught us a thing or two.
Not likely.
Just wanted to tell you how much I love your blog. It always makes my day.
it doesn’t take a lot of energy or effort to find sexism or dare i say it ‘warring on women’, in any form of media. as someone who has spent her youth, finances, and energy in this arena, i think you did a fine job relating an imbalance you noticed in your daily life. you never seek these things out, you simply (simply?) use them as a stepping stone to write yet another lovely post.
awesome, just awesome!
Just to give you a friendlier male perspective . . .
First of all, sorry about the headaches, and I hope you feel better soon.
As far as the sports stereotyping is concerned, well, I am not much of an athlete but can enjoy a game. Honestly, it can be hard for me to follow every kind of penalty in a football game, but so be it. These days I hardly watch sports due to lack of time in life (and have never been to an NFL game anywhere). But getting back to the point, I can see how some mild humor can be OK, but it’s easy for some to get carried away and get offensive (pardon the sports pun) pretty easily. And yeah, it’s your personal blog, and you don’t come off as a whiny person (believe me, I’ve seen enough to know), so if you want to vent that’s your prerogative. I am almost curious now to hear the Dork Lord’s perspective on the matter.
I happen to be reading an autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. (Free on Amazon Kindle, BTW.) He states somewhere that women are better at accounting than men based on his observation of a former business partner’s widow ran a printing business better after her husband died.
Ditto on all counts.
And here’s the deal Jeff…my fiance (who will soon be my husband)…is not a doormat. And he probably wouldn’t appreciate you calling him one. And although we do both stick pretty closely to historial gender roles (I cook and do most of the cleaning but I refuse to take out the trash)…we have respect for each other.
Cool! That’s awesome! I am glad there is respect in your relationship. I hope that you can speak your truth to each other, knowing that you will be heard. We need more of that. I sure wish there were more of that.
Expressing a different viewpoint here was looking to be an exercise in futility (no, I didn’t quite expect everyone to stand up and cheer), but now I’m glad that I gave into the temptation to come back for another peak, because you’ve made my point for me. Mutual respect is what I was talking about. To me, challenging stereotypes is respectful; dumping buckets of blame all over one particular group of people (while throwing similar stereotypes at them in practically the same breath) is not.
There is no way I could have called your fiance anything, because I had never even heard of him before, much less knew anything about him. If the shoe doesn’t fit, then it makes no sense trying to wear it, because it obviously was not made for you.
Immitrex has worked miracles for me, but it can cause rebound headaches (ug!). I went on a diet recommended here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5364970 and three weeks later, not a migraine since. It’s a big in the tuckus, but as soon as I cheat, the migraines come back. Hope it helps!
By the way, just a little reminder: comments on this blog are moderated. The owner can stop a conversation or censure comments any time she wants. I have already thanked her for allowing me to speak on her blog, because I certainly recognize that she just as well could have chosen not to do so.
I know it sounds silly but gatorade really helps my migraines if I catch them early enough.
From a sports drink to sports radio…
I love baseball. Like memorize stats, game schedules, who won the world series in which year, and absolutely random things about the sport. 6 years ago I had started a new job at the end of February. I worked with a couple of jocks and wannabe jocks. I came in one day all excited that I had secured tickets to the Cardinals/Yankee interleague play game. My boss then told me I had to work that weekend for our city festival and that I couldn’t go. I told him too bad, he should have notified me of that when I was hired. He told me he would fire me. I said “Go ahead.” One morning I was talking to one of the jocks about the game the night before and my boss came up behind me and said “You really love baseball don’t you?” I looked at him and said something like you already know that and he said “But you love it love it, not like, girl love it.” Uhhh…. What?
I get it a lot. “You know that? You are a girl!” Um, yes. Thank you for identifying my gender to me. I wasn’t aware of it until now. Just because I have a uterus doesn’t mean I don’t like sports. It doesn’t mean I can’t understand sports. And it doesn’t mean I am any less a woman for doing so. But it does make me think less of you for making a big deal about my gender.