Once I stepped into my office yesterday morning, I did not step out again until after 7pm. I didn’t make tea; I didn’t go to the bathroom. Nose to the grindstone for ten hours. Production days are like that. So when I sealed the Fed-Ex box, slapped the label on and gathered my things, I decided to take myself to a movie.
It must be noted that I have never, previous to last night, been to a movie by myself.
It’s not that I’m unable to go anywhere alone. On the contrary. I shop alone. In January I’ll be taking a Latin Ballroom class… alone. It’s simply never occurred to me that there doesn’t need to be a social aspect to movie-going. That, and, well, who’s gonna look over at me and roll their eyes, and pat my arm, when I cry?
(Here’s a tangent, if you’ll allow: I cried at Sixth Sense. Almost the entire movie. Not sobbing or anything ridiculous, mind you, but I was pretty upset for that traumatized little kid. I have an overactive Empathy Gland or something. Someone is scared? I must cry for them. Really happy? In love? Oh, the joy! I must cry happy tears. This is why, if we’ve just met, it’s best to stick to comedies or anything with Julia Roberts or The Rock. No chance of being moved there. Okay, tangent over.)
On the way to the theater, J called. I was half-tempted to say, “See this movie with me!” But I didn’t. I’ve all but cut the J-cord completely, and well, why revert? So, instead, I guided him through his current crisis — curtain buying — and went into the theater alone. I watched Big Fish, sitting between two women (their dates on either side) who cried at exactly the same times I did. I could see, in my peripheral vision, their hands go to their eyes, almost in unison. Synchronized crying. Unbelievable. I didn’t know there were others. We really should form some sort of club.
A few notes on the movie:
1. Jessica Lange was luminous. Absolutely radiant.
2. Someone should really have warned me about the spiders.
3. The line, “To your father there were only ever two women: your mother and everyone else.” sparked some synchronized crying like never was seen before. It was so touching. I mean, I’d feel lucky to get into someone’s top ten list, let alone render the rest of the female population a faceless throng of skirts. No wonder she was so radiant.
It’s a bit gray out today, and if I continue along with that sentiment, well, I just may cry myself into a snotty heap on my office floor. Instead, I will clean my desk and take a lunchtime walk by the river and think about less moving things like, what to make for dinner.
I have company coming.