Last night, I decided that I’ve had it up to here (insert appropriate gesticulation) with being upset about my job. So, I’m just not going to be. Instead, I shall let other things upset me like, Trim Spa ads and the fact that Hilary Duff has no neck.
Last night, I also decided to watch The Secret Window. Now, I know full well that I am not allowed to watch scary movies**, especially by myself. But I figured, I talk to Sir Halitosis enough that he is sort of like a person, and he has the necessary cuddling capabilities for those extra terrifying moments. He was, however, insufficient as a scary movie buffer.
I didn’t sleep so well.
At some point, I was half tempted to high-tail it to the restaurant Elle and I had dinner at on Saturday evening, to find the waiter and beg him to reissue the complimentary Grappa I had previously declined to drink. Knock me out!
Later, during my post-scary-movie nocturnal wanderings, I got startled by Sir Hal, who I then startled with my (over)reaction. I spent the better part of the next thirty minutes coaxing him out from under the couch. Henceforth, there shall be no more scary movies played at my apartment. Or, for that matter, movies featuring Kirsten Dunst. She’s really a terrible actress.
And she has freakishly tiny teeth.
** Scary movies: movies which do not expressly fall into the category of romance and/or comedy and whose descriptions contain the word thrill, psychological, or spine-tingling.
I saw Spider-man 2 at the weekend…and much as she looks the part…she was just a bit…wooden. And I didn’t notice the teeth, so they must have been really tiny.
speaking of kirsten: she broke up with jake gyllenhaal! oh yes, he will be mine.
I don’t “do” Stephen King — books, movies, whatever. Zippo appeal. My sister swears he is the greatest writer in the 20th century, however.
But my scariest movie? “Jaws” when it first came out. Totally unmanned. It still has the power, too.
I can’t imagine your kitty being so scared that he wouldn’t come out from under the couch! What did you do? ha ha ha.
Well, it involved tripping, falling, crashing, breaking of a glass and even slighting injuring the kitty.
Many loud noises were involved.
Ooooh – I’m so thrilled to know I’m not the only one that can’t stand her. She damaged Spiderman for me. Tremendously.
Ich.
As far as a remedy; I suggest you join, brother, Dog and I for an inevitable Starsky & Hutch viewing later in the week.
i was starting to think that i was the ONLY person who noticed that she has tiny, mister burns, velociraptor-esque teeth! i enjoy her in small doses, but fear the teeth with an irrational fervor.
When watching scary movies – always have the remote handy. Then hit the mute. Not so scary without the scary music.
That and fastforward.
I saw that on the plane back. It’s not so scary when it’s on a tiny screen, and you guess the twist very early on.
Weird! I had the same compulsion and watched the same movie alone last night. Big mistake,huge. And getting to watch Johnny was of no consolation because of his scary hair in the movie.
I for an inevitable Starsky & Hutch viewing later in the week.
Throw more knives! All the time!
Fish, you have a gift! You are a great writer–and I am jealous of your wonderful, beknighted kitten.
Mr. Silver… I missed something there. Elaborate…
Ari-
In the scene where S&H go to arrest that Korean man, his son runs behind the counter and starts throwing knives at them. When they tell the guy to tell the kid to stop, he instead yells, in Korean (subtitled) “throw more knives! all the time!”
Oh dear, I have to admit I’m right there with you. I was home sick from work two days last week and in my boredom, I managed to convince myself that it was a bad thing to have only seen The Sixth Sense once. I had to sleep with the tv on that night.
I gotta say, your museum happening (with the man trying to “thrill her”), was way more scary than any “thriller.”
Oh, and small teeth are scary. I call people with tiny teeth Trident: because they’re all gums.
Oh no! I rented that movie this weekend. Now I’m too spooked to even consider watching it alone…
Um yeah – never, ever would have had the guts to even ATTEMPT watching it alone, so I give you kudos for that. I found that with a cute boy and a bottle of wine it greatly lessened the degree of creepiness. That was my one and only foray into the scary movie genre since I was a teenager, and one I don’t feel compelled to repeat however, no matter who’s watching with me…
heh…I learnt that lesson many years ago when I sat at home by myself and watched The Exorcist. Really, really, really bad judgement call.
And Kirsten does have weird little rodent like teeth! When I went and saw Mona Lisa Smile that is exactly what I kept thinking everytime she was in shot…lol
I love your blog! Love love love it! Adding alink to my blog immediatley!
I had not noticed Kirsten Dunsts small teeny teeth but i can admit to the fact that I have noticed that Hillary Duff has no neck! Have you noticed that Lindsay Lohan has really really big boobs? If it’s not small then it’s large!
The Sixth Sense STILL causes me to sometimes have that tingly feeling on your back like someone (presumably a ghost) is standing just behind you just about to reach out a finger and poke you right…….there. In the middle of the night. Shiver. And I saw it with friends in a crowded movie theater.
And I really did NOT like Scream, even though people said “It’s funny; It makes FUN of scary movies.” NO. The scene with Drew Barrymore is NOT AT ALL funny to me. More shivers.
It comes from having a good imagination; you can imagine all the scary things that are in the dark, even though your logical mind knows they aren’t there.
Secret Window is one case where the movie is better than the book –err novella in this case. I was bored throughout the book, but the movie wasn’t so bad!
I think Kirsten Dunst sucks too. She always seems like she’s reading the script off an autocue. She is truly horrible…
I am exactly the same way about scary movies. Sometimes I forget though and watch one alone…not a good idea. Oh and thank you so much for the Kirsten Dunst comment. My boyfriend thinks she is so hot, ugh! Just don’t understand why she is such a big deal…she can’t act to save her life.
Glad to know i’m not the only one who finds ms. dunst’s performance vacuous and uninspiring. I think Anthony Lane in the New Yorker had a thing or two to say on that front. Jake is single? I’ve been waiting for this day to come…