Everyone is going to ask. Caterers, florists, photographers. “What’s the theme of your wedding?”
First, you’ll be happy to learn that you don’t have to choose a wedding theme right from the get-go – or even choose one at all! I know, that’s crazy talk in the bridal world but the truth is, the mojo of your wedding is going to be set by you and your guests, even if there aren’t any words to describe it. And in the end, the theme is just a template to (hopefully) make the rest of the eleventy billion wedding decisions just a little bit easier.
Where you want to get married (cathedral, country chapel, hotel ballroom, backyard, Jamaican beach) will have a lot of impact on how you plan out the details. But to narrow it down a bit, start out by answering a few questions about you and your dude. Are you two…
- Traditional or Modern
- Casual or Formal
- Rustic or Chic
- Really into pirates
If you’re the satin and tulle kinda gal, a casual wedding is probably not in the cards. But you know what? It’s your wedding and if you want to prance around in your Cinderella gear at Chuck-E-Cheese for your wedding, you go right ahead. We’re not much for conforming. We’re just trying to help with the whole cohesion bit. Like I said, to make the next several months of decision making easier.
Amanda’s Got a Feeling
When I first dove into planning mode, I had visions of royal blues, sage greens, teals and feathers. Peacock feathers, to be exact. I wanted them in bouquets and in 1940’s inspired hair pins. It was going to be beautiful and elegant and … totally wrong for our venue. So, back to the drawing board!
Once I picked my dress and the venue had been decided upon, my fiancé and I sat down and talked about what we wanted our wedding to feel like. Not look—feel. We decided we weren’t formal, 4 forks, two spoons and a butter knife people; we were BBQ and home cooking people.
Our wedding needed to be laid back, we wanted our guests to feel like…our guests, like at-our-house-chillin-on-the-couch kind of guests. We didn’t rush to pick the different elements of our wedding, we waited until inspiration struck. The outcome was a comfortable wedding where people were directed by old wooden fence post signs, given cookies as they arrived at the ceremony, ate as much down home cooking as they could and topped it off with more cookies, cupcakes, and sparklers…because everyone plays with sparklers on their friends’ couches, right? Yea, I thought so.
Heather is Clearly Not a Girl
My sister was the first person to ask, “What’s your theme?” I was clueless. “Um, I don’t know. The one where I wear a dress and people come? What’s a theme?! I’m clearly not a girl.”
So, yeah, at first, it was overwhelming. But once I got to picking things like venue, time of day and the mood I wanted to set, the theme of our wedding developed pretty organically. We chose a local winery for the venue, Italy for a honeymoon destination and as for the mood – I just wanted a sweet, simple, sophisticated party where folks could eat, drink and laugh. Enter, “La dolce vita,” an actual theme (!) that encompassed all of those things. From there, we’ve been able to choose food (Italian, duh), music (Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra) and lots of smaller, more personal details – even save-the-dates, inspired by vintage wine labels – to make the party something special (even though I hate the word special).
A few Inspiration Tactics
- Grab some magazines and start clipping. Pictures, words. Anything that fits who you are and what you like. Lay them out on your kitchen table and start putting a story together.
- Start with the flowers. A bouquet of wildflowers or white lilies? Tulips or succulents?
- Let your mom take over. I promise it won’t be long and you’ll know exactly what you want. heh.
Okay, married ladies, your turn. What was your theme? And better yet – what was the inspiration behind it?
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Amanda McCain Himes, a Colorado native, made her own DIY wedding look like… well, a piece of cake. |
Although my wedding was tiny (only immediate family), I found all of the details so daunting. What if I forget something? I was born without the bride gene, so this was a huge possibility. I went out and bought a pretty little notebook and a stack of bridal magazines, and kept my iPhone, scissors, and tape nearby at all times. Every time I found something I liked the look of, I put it in my notebook.
In the end, our beautiful little beach wedding contained an aspect of every corner of our lives. Our mothers wore fascinators–an English wedding tradition–to symbolize my husband’s birthplace and the fact that we had just moved back to the US from London. The men wore fitted formal black suits with crisp white shirts and skinny ties to look a little bit classic–totally our style. We had dinner at one of the best restaurants in La Jolla down the road from the beach–also the first big food-loving discovery together on one of our first trips to visit my parents. Our cake toppers were Superman and Wonderwoman–a shout-out to my husband’s geek side. My rings were vintage. My dress was formal and lacy. I walked down the beach to our favorite Neutral Milk Hotel song. In short, the theme was: Us. Our tastes strung together into a meaningful story.
People can get too caught up on looking classy or fancy pants. If you are having trouble deciding or agreeing upon a theme–just say no. Pick things you like, and stop trying to pin yourself down.
Our unofficial theme for our wedding was “Fall on Crack”. Yup, try telling that to a florist without getting a shocked look back. But it perfectly described how I wanted the fun colors and bonfire feeling of fall… just more pumped up. So my bouquet was bright pink dark red and bright orange. Totally beautiful, like autumn leaves on crack. hehe