One corner of the Union Square office where I work is rented out by a small consulting firm, run by a German woman named Norah.
As a very quick aside: Norah is pretty hot. I’ve found myself staring at her on more than one occasion trying to figure out just exactly what it is that makes her that hot. So that I may go home immediately and replicate it. I’ve thus far been unsuccessful in isolating the exact ingredient, but the tattoo on her stomach does not hurt. End aside.
The small consulting firm employs a foreign office assistant and an answering machine. It’s the kind of machine that plays each message as it comes in (I much prefer the strong silent type that keep their messages to themselves.) and a few times a day, when no one is around to pick up, we hear the same outgoing greeting and then the ramblings of strange voices on the other end.
Yesterday, Bruce called.
“Hi, Norah. This is Bruce Very Unique Last Nameâ€_ I was calling to see if you had plans on Friday nightâ€_â€ù
Bruce went on to leave his home phone number, his office number and stammered for a moment before closing with,
“And if you could call me back, that would be reallyâ€_ nice.â€ù
I stifled a giggle and looked around at my coworkers. Smirks all around. Obviously, Norah had met this guy out somewhere, given him her card and he’d manned up and called her. (Personally, I’d have chosen email, but I’m actually a bit terrified of the phone.) And obviously, Bruce assumed he’d be working with modern technology, feeling safe to leave his message on voicemail, unaware that he had an audience. He was also unaware that the audience would hear his message at least twice again that afternoon when the office assistant (whose first language is not English) played it back to write down the message.
By 4:00, Bruce was an old friend. A quick Google search led us to his medical credentials and, jackpot!, a photo. This led to all sorts of office shenanigans. Speculation to a mind with a focus problem. One taste and I’m off the wagon.
Eventually, out of guilt and maturity, one of my coworkers suggested the answering machine be turned down. For the sake of Norah’s (and poor saps like Bruce) privacy. The very same coworker, I might add, who this morning, heard the phone ring and craned his neck to listen for the message.
“Guess I shouldn’t have asked them to turn it down.â€ù
“Ruiner! That might have been Bruce!â€ù I did my best to block out the construction clamor below, but it was no use. The voice was only a mumble.
“Why do I get the feeling that the next thing to happen would have been you answering the phone pretending to be Norah?â€ù
“Are you insinuating that there would be something wrong with that?â€ù
He has yet to provide me with a satisfactory argument.
How come I never had the chance to work in an office that was that much fun?
Great story. Love your writing.
Gutentag Bruce! Thats so funny.
What did we do before Google?
“and he’d manned up and called her.”
Man-Up is one of my new favorite sayings, & now I keep hearing it around.
If you figure out Norah’s “it factor” do share.
I’ve been reading “The Sartorialist” recently & feel like I’m missing something in most of the photos.
How does one tell where “thrown together” gives way to “put together” … if you roll out of bed & into Armani, does that count
Happy Thanksgiving all!
too funny — maybe the mysterious Bruce will show up at the office and then you can all (discretely) point and giggle …. not that I would do or condone such behaviour of course
don’t know where to say this, but THANK YOU for really making me smile during a tough week. So many of your posts really hit home. And I would die of embarrasment if google published a list of all the names I’ve ever searched.
Was there life before Google?
Love it! And I agree, I’d love to know that ‘it factor’ if you discover it…
Hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving!
google….i don’t know how i lived before without google!! it was like….uhm…stone age? anyways, did you see google’s stock rose to $509 yesterday!!
I would help you imitate a German Norah but the only German phrase I ever picked up was “My dog has taken his chocolate pen into your butter shower” and I’ve already forgotten it in German.
And, I’m Lutheran – FOR SHAME!!!
nice blog
the whole “love affair” has been very well described
if you would have posed as nora,you could have had an excellent hollywood pot boiler script!:)
Oh, googling guys is one reason I’m glad to be single again! An unusual last name is simply google gold.
Norah is hot because of her name. I’m sure of it. Although maybe she could lose the unnecessary ‘h’ at the end.
Oh, poor Bruce.
I can’t imagine the reaction he’d get if he one day walked into the office.
“I’ve found myself staring at her on more than one occasion trying to figure out just exactly what it is that makes her that hot. So that I may go home immediately and replicate it. Iâve thus far been unsuccessful in isolating the exact ingredient,….”
SO glad to hear that I’m not the only one who does that!!
If you ever figure it out, please, please, PLEASE feel free to share!
if you love google, you’ll go gaga over peoplefinder.com.
What a cute little story…I can see it evolving into the next big date movie…I would definitley drag somebody to see it
Thanks
Great story….i’m googling current love interest right now! oh and I’m sure the “it factor” which so inclined Bruce to call had absolutely nothing to do with the stomach tattoo. lol.
Forget the story. If Nora is so hot…can we get a pic of her?