I’m cranky today.
I didn’t even realize it until I was reading an email from my mother and suddenly felt compelled to scream, “Stop asking me so many god damned questions!” And as a rule, I like questions. I like email. No, I love it. I love swapping bits of chatter back and forth as I plough through the workday. But apparently not right now.
Because right now, I am cranky. Cranky as hell.
A lot of it is being tired – getting home late, not sleeping well too many nights in a row. I know a girl who could really use a glass of wine and a Tylenol PM. Or two. Of each.
Some of it is frustration – goals not reached, results not achieved, expectations not met. Sometimes I come down with an acute case of the Little Mermaid syndrome and no matter how well I’m doing, I want more. More success, more affection, more reassurance. Only, right now, I’m too tired to chase it down.
Some of it is anger. When I’m legitimately mad about something, I get all cloudy and the corners of my mouth get dragged down so that I spend hours, if not days, wearing my subway face. My you don’t want to experience what happens if you screw with me face. I really don’t like being mad. Laughter, stupid jokes, wisecracking – that’s the natural state of Heather. Deviations from it just feel wrong.
And a tiny little bit of it is the divot taken out of my left heel. From a pair of totally adorable, harmless looking shoes that may as well have been coated in flesh eating bacteria. I know. It’s icky and it hurts.
And! And I can’t find my phone. And that really pisses me off.
Subway face–says so much in so few words. I enjoy reading your writing, Fish.
As far as goals not reached, well, I think we all have to constantly reach and re-evaluate our plans. Sometimes it’s good to have a goal just a bit out of reach. Keeps us hungry…and honest.
I totally know what you mean. Today has been my “administrative day” when I take care of all the little details that I’ve let slide for too long, and now I am really cranky after talking to one “customer service” person too many. I’m not that old, but I’m feeling like my grandmother — whatever happened to the good old days when they really did believe in service??
Gosh, the phone thing drives me mad too!!! Especially when it rings and you are hunting for it like crazy…
Fishy-poo, one of them days. And sometimes people try to cheer you up. You probably get more annoyed. Some time and the mood will pass. As far as the phone email me your phone number and I’ll call you to help find it
I’m sorry you are having a bad day. I am too. I think that is what happens when we have to work federal holidays.
Federal holiday? The mailman was just here… can’t be a federal holiday! Unless, we’re in different, um, federations.
HEATHER SMASH!!
cranky here today too.. mine started with txt message.. who doesn’t love them.. except when they’re from a roommate txt’ing to bitch about something they won’t confront you in person about..
but there’s new music on the ipod.. and making it louder seems to make the cranky go away.. who needs hearing when you’re old anyway..
Darn you to heck, Mike. You beat me to it.
veterans day is being “celebrated” in some cities today, giving some state and local employees the day off.
PLEASE do NOT mix alcohol and Tylenol! The combo is actually toxic…
‘hulking out’ is one of my fav phrases. that’s what some of my friends called my look when i was cutting up all my clothes. pants into short? hulked out.
Luckily I’m a state worker so I have the day off and I went to use a gift certificate that was given to me for my birthday. The long awaited massage, I ask for a male and was told that they don’t have a male massage therapist, WHAT! Am I the only woman that would rather be massaged by a guy? This place caters to women but don’t give them exactly what they want?? Heather, I’m with you today, I’m usually one of those laughing, happy, glad to be alive people but now I have a chip on my shoulder. It’s a great day to kick someone’s ass.
Here’s to tomorrow being a better day!
I hate days like that. No matter how much you don’t want to be in the mood you’re in, you just can’t do anything about it. Have a nice night in, get a good night’s sleep, and you’ll feel better in the morning!
I completely hear you fish. Thank god it’s almost over. Cranky greetings from Salt Lake-Bountiful even.
Hang in there , must be a better day ahead.
Uh, not to totally miss the point of your post… but to echo someone else… please don’t booze with your Ty PM. It could give you liver failure. For reals.
Great, next someone is going to say we can’t chase vicodin with wine and really ruin our day. Jeesh. (Really though, lighten up folks!)
That’s the worst. I hate when I forget my phone at home. It makes my whole day go bad and I feel like I left my right arm instead of a little phone. I can’t function without it.
I hear you, I had that same day yesterday… today was better, so there is hope.
What’s the saying? It’s always the darkest before a beautiful sunrise? It’s crap like this that makes you laugh at yourself later. When riding in a crowded elevator, no less.
Enjoy the weekend!
Missing phone, Where is the problem?
Take a breath and scan your wall, locate where the plug is to be found, follow the line and with a little luck you might find it at the end!
subway face..that’s great! I have the same face but it’s more of a “I am walking on this sidewalk, if you hit me with the scooter you are driving on here, I might go off on your head” (they have way too many scooters in Taiwan)
Embrace those random mean days! Call old boyfriends, go shopping (and scare the sale clerks with a mere look)…plus it’ll help you appreciate the real you.
I also hate it when I’m in anger.
These are the things I do which normally help me go back to a happy state.
Hope things won’t make it worse and hope you find the phone soon.
Yup. Having one of those Mondays. Started my morning off not being able to find my keys. Then smooshed in a train into London with the guy behind me shoving his paper into my neck & hair (come on! I just styled it damn it!!!) And now I have to be nice to teenagers. It’s not good to be cranky when you’re a high school counselor. I’m just gonna try to put on that ‘happy face’ until I go home. Then I can pummel my fiance. He understands cranky me.
Noooooo, but you’re Belle and I’m the Little Mermaid. We went through this already.
And we hated Sleeping Beauty.
Ugh! I hate those days. And I too am having one today. It’s not sooo bad yet. But sometimes it gets to the point where I can’t stand myself, so I take pity on everyone else and lock myself in my office or my room and try to relax.
Anyhow…my son is sick, so I didn’t get much sleep last night. I woke up late. Didn’t do my hair or my makeup, and I’m pms(ing). So yeah…it’s going to be a great Monday. Everyone in my office is tres annoying right now. And I’ve already closed the door to my office…but they are just NOT getting the HINT. And I work with all men. Usually it’s great, but today I really want to just kick them. Why is it that men make things so much harder than they really are. There’s a problem and instead of just fixing it, they keep bitching about it over and over and over again. Just get it fixed damn it. Maybe it’s just my guys? Maybe…and I think this might be it…it’s just me. Is it 5pm yet????
I totally understand! I felt that way yesterday. I didn’t feel that I had any right to be cranky. I just wanted to nap. All day. But I forced myself to get out, in retrospect it wasn’t my smartest moment. Ah well…
Heather, you have a really cool blog. I have never wanted a blog, well maybe once, after Katrina. This 30-ish woman in Louisiana kept posting to her blog throughout the ordeal. I never posted anything to it, but it was incredible to experience what she was going through that way, on a moment by moment basis. Reading your blog makes me want a blog again, but for a different reason. Itâs just so cool to see inside another person like that. As long as that person is interesting that is, and you are, interesting that is. Iâm not saying Iâd be interesting, probably not the least bit in fact. But anyway, I thought perhaps it was a compliment to you that I saw what you were doing and thought well enough of it to consider it.
Congratulations!
You finally got that nosejob! It TOTALLY shows, and TOTALLY helps your face.
XoXoXo
Fish,
I hope your bad day has fizzled. I was having one of those, but it was more of a bad week. I just gave up all responsibility Sat. and spent the day doing things for me. Hope you can/have had the chance for you. Sounds like it was overdue.
-M
Rocco, you’re an asshole.
5 days later and I am having your day. And! And I have a stuffed up nose and sore throat…Are we sure about the Wine and Tylenol PM?
Fish…. where are you?? i miss my daily dose of Fish! I hope you are having an outrageously good time somewhere and can’t get to the computer.
I second that! Fish, I found your blog last month and have enjoyed it every day. Can’t wait for the next entry. Hope you’re out having fun!
If you find my phone while you’re looking for yours, please let me know.
Bah.
Hey Fish, thumbs up. I was reading your Hulking it post, plus the new year relationship resolution thing and man . . . awesome. For a second I thought i was reading my own diary. I’m so darn cranky these past weeks & for a lot of the same reasons u sited.
Asha — how did you read the relationship resolution article? I didn’t think it had been posted yet.