Today is Moving Day Part I. And while waiting for the movers (who are now two hours late) to put my worldly belongings in storage until the middle of June when our apartment is finally ready, I started digging through blog archives. I found this gem from four years ago this weekend, a story I hardly remember writing, but one that makes me smile. I can’t say I remember much about the day-to-day of having another family live with us, but I remember Mr. Lucas and his quietus.
Mr. Lucas was the type of guy who had a story for everything.
“Well now, that reminds of the time…”
Nearly every one of those stories began the same and ended,invariably, with some kind of nonsense that had you shaking your head,wondering what, exactly, the point had been. I was fifteen when Mr.Lucas and his brood of six came to stay with us, and inclined to notonly shake my head, but to sigh loudly and roll my eyes at his backwardways.
He — out of either some bizarre grace or total ignorance — paid no heed to my public displays of annoyance.
“Miss Heath-uh, why don’t you get out th’old chess board and let meshow you a few things. Mmm hmm. That’s right. I’m gonna put thequay-ee-tus on ya.”
The quay-ee-tus?
Mr. Lucas slicked his hair back in a greasy swirl, wore shiny AirForce issue black shoes and invented ridiculous words. And night afternight, he schooled me in chess. Or, as he said, put the quay-ee-tus onme.
“What does that mean, Mr. Lucas? It’s not even a word.”
“Sure it is. If it ain’t a word, how come you fall for it every time?”
“You want me to get the dictionary again?”It would go on this way until his wife intervened.
“Paul?” Mrs. Lucas would sit quietly in one of my mother’s blue,high-backed chairs, reading while her awkward mate levied hischeck-mate. Though patient and lovingly accepting of her husband’squirks, she was decidedly more timid — and also less comfortable thanhe about their situation. Temporarily homeless and relying on thehospitality of strangers, the Lucas Six added to the Hunter Seven in achaos that strained the very seams of our house. Mrs. Lucas, calm andeven-toned, did her best to lessen the effects.
“Why don’t you put that away for now? The kids have homework.”
For years after, we would imitate Mr. Lucas and his hokey accent. “I’m a-gonna put the quay-ee-tuson ya” we’d threaten over Trivial Pursuit or sprints for shotgun. Themocking was gentle. Mr. Lucas could drive you crazy, but also somehowendear himself to you — a weirdo with a brilliant chess game and astockpile of made-up words.
A few months ago, I was nearing the end of The Moviegoer when Istopped mid-sentence and stared. “No way,” I said. “No effing way.” Iopened my web browser and picked up my cell phone. My brother answeredafter two rings.
“It’s a real word, Jas.”
“What?”
“Quay-ee-tus. He pronounced it wrong, but it’s for real.”
“You’re kidding. I always wondered where he got that. What does it mean?”
When I told him, my brother laughed. “You mean, Ol’ Lucas even used it correctly?”
“Mmm hmmm.
“I’ll be damned. He really did put the quietus on us.”Word of the day: qui•e•tus
n. Something that serves to suppress, check, or eliminate.
Certain she’d remember Mr. Lucas, I texted my sister just now, telling her I was going to put the quietus on her.
“I was about to write, Bring it on!” she said. “But then an eyelash fell in my eye and I thought, damn, she’s good.”
That’s hilarious. I remember him. When we were teenagers, he would always say every week at church to one of my friends (who was very tall), “What yo’ mama been feedin’ you? Miracle Gro?” I also remember him being a ‘close talker’.
I worked at Little Caesar’s until after midnight some nights. He would always be waiting for me with the chess board out. “Boy, I’m fixin’ to put the quietus on you” And he did. Got me in checkmate in 4 moves. More than once.
That post made me laugh.
One entry says “Paul” and one says “Joe” – ???
I got his name mixed up with his son’s in the original. I fixed it, but sometimes things take a really long time to update on the public iVillage site.
This is really interesting. Who is Mr. Lucas and family? How did it so happen that you had a family living with you and they were strangers? Do you know where they are now?
You know, Jessica, I’m not sure of the details anymore. They were members of our church who had moved to Dallas from… Houston I think. The home they were buying fell through or something like that. Even though we had a big family, there was still room for more, so they stayed with us. I do, thanks to Facebook, know where they are now. The middle child is about to have twins. My, how they grow.:)
That’s a pretty fantastic experience.