This weekend, my mother bribed me to go shopping with her.
Because we’re in the squirreling-things-away-for-winter phase of our lives (ahem, the uncomfortable grown up phase) I purposefully avoid the mall, even for window shopping; I don’t want to want anything. Wanting will lead to justifying, justifying to buying and buying to serious bouts of remorse when it’s wedding time and oh, ha ha, we don’t have enough in savings to cover food. Or flowers. Or the wedding license. Because when the wanting/justifying/buying process starts, I have real problems controlling its momentum.
See also: why I have credit card debt.*
Even when it comes to needing things, I tow the “make do or do without” line. Mom knows this – maybe not how frail my resolve actually is, but that I’m making a very sincere attempt at denying my inner consumer. And so when she needed some help picking out new clothes, she offered to buy me a little something, too. Sweet, right? Yeah, except that my mother bribed me to go shopping and I STILL had a really difficult time wanting something. Mom kept prodding, “Do you want this? How about that?” and I kept dodging. “Eh, that’s okay. I don’t really need it.”
God, I’m such a good little pioneer. If it doesn’t fit in my hand cart, it gets left behind.
It wasn’t until the end of our spree, when Mom was getting outfitted with some shiny metallic ballet flats, that her “Would you like some, too?” finally sparked something in my cold, dead shopping heart. “Yes. Yes I would.” Bright silver ballet flats! Guilt free! With no purpose other than to be pretty and make me happy! And boy, do they. Neither the weather nor my outfit really make them appropriate footwear for today, but has that stopped me from wearing them? No, siree.
Have I even noticed that they rub just the tiniest bit on the backs of my heels? Well, maybe. But I’m getting to be a real pro at suppressing. Just like the pioneers!
* By the way, with regard to credit card debt: If all goes according to my spreadsheet, I should pretty much be done with all that this time next year. Done! Eee! I can hardly imagine what that will feel like. I’m having a party. You’re all invited.
Band-Aid Activ-Flex Blister Block Stick available in the band-aid aisle of your local pharmacy-ish place. It is amazing for all those ballet flats and heels. http://bit.ly/bh2Ve2
Congratulations on planning your way out of debt! I know that wanting/justifying/buying process and you (will have) done a fantastic job. Enjoy the shoes
I’m glad you gave in and took the shoes!
Aren’t Moms’ awesome! Enjoy.
I STILL have to remind myself to stop looking so I can stop wanting. Fortunately, the husband is very, very good at it and that really helps. I did have to unsubscribe from all the email list from my favorite on-line stores and forcibly restrain myself (more or less) from visiting sites where that have great deals on stuff I didn’t realize I “needed”… There’s only so much self-restraint in a person and if I use it up by saying no to buying the stuff I didn’t need until I saw it, I won’t have any left over to say no to eating the junk food I wasn’t hungry for until I saw it!
Also – kudos to you for getting out of debt! That’s wonderful. I still remember how joyful and free and positively elated I felt when I sent in that last check to AMEX! I didn’t use a credit card for almost three years after that. I use them now, but always pay the full balance every month. Once you’ve escaped from the dungeon of consumer debt you do NOT want to go back!
I did the exact same thing when shopping with my mom right after Christmas. She wanted to buy me and my sister a shirt to wear for New Year’s Eve. My sister couldn’t pick just one thing. I, on the other hand, found nothing that I ‘needed’. I ended up with some sweater that was on sale and could be worn to work. I did not wear it for NYE. I can’t justify shopping for clothes when I can’t seem to establish a savings account above $50. My no-shopping for the past year has allowed me to contribute a large sum to my IRA for the first time in 2-1/2 years. Of course I won’t feel the worth of that until I retire….
ha! i know this all too well…
i practiced and practiced until i took all the fun out of shopping. after paying off a large debt i treated myself to a shopping spree where i was “required” to spend 200 dollars.
TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS!
it seemed so outlandish at that point to spend that much that i left with all the cash in my purse, i think i bought a pretzel or something.
but if my experience means anything: this “i hate shopping” thing can be remedied with more shopping
watch out for that part!
Congrats on your pretty shoes! We do need little treats of some kind every so often.
Hear you on all fronts except Mom bribing me to shop or buying me anything. I am still working on the debt with a solid goal but I’ll tell you, after a come-to-Jesus talk w/myself and trimming the budget to an extremely minimal amount for a buffer/splurge (say a $2 DD coffee), I switched to a cash system. So now, I take the $$ out at the bank every week and split up my 5s & 10s into my budget categories. If I want to indulge in something (like the previously mentioned coffee) I may borrow from something but usually I realize I don’t really need/want it enough. And when the cash is gone, it’s gone. It’s a great feeling paying cash & just walking away from the register w/no added debt. I’m completely hooked.
I like Chrissie Lynn’s $200 shopping requirement, going to log that one in the memory bank!
Yay for little things that make you happy! And congrats on the credit card debt. I’m in a similar place, my car will be paid off in May and my card in a little over a year. And then on to student loans! Those will take another 2, but THEN I will finally be able to save for a house! How do people manage to afford kids nowadays? Those tax credits can’t be that much lol. I know what a great feeling it is to watch your debt go bye-bye. After it’s gone, please buy yourself something unnecessary!