When I was growing up, we didn’t have much.
In fact, there were times when we didn’t have anything. I have vague recollections of living in a tent at a KOA one summer when we were ‘between homes.’ Even in those times, when money was scarce, my mother had a distinct financial policy – the Rule of Thirds. When it came to windfalls, unexpected or unbudgeted sources of income, the sum, however large (tax refunds) or small (birthday money from grandma) was divided into three parts. One third went to savings, one third toward paying debt, and one third toward fun. Camping at Arches National Park, ice cream at the place that put a plastic figurine on top of your cone – it’s the one third toward fun that make-up some of my best childhood experiences.
My mother says that when given choice, she’d rather buy memories than things.
Maybe that’s what I was thinking when I spent my entire grocery budget on a Metropolitan Opera ticket this month. The cupboard had been well-stocked with things like instant oatmeal, canned soups and boxed pasta – rations enough to last until payday, so I thought, why not? But days later, with $7.35 in my checking account and the opera experience behind me, I don’t have to tell you that the rations got really old, really fast. And this morning, t-minus two days until payday, I’d had all I could take.
Man cannot live by oatmeal alone.
Not to mention, man had run out of things like Q-tips and face wash. So, in desperation, I did what had to be done. I grabbed the change jar off of the desk and made for the Food Emporium, home of my neighborhood Coinstar. As I dumped the coins into the tray and watched the pennies, dimes and nickels tumble through the slot, I made a mental grocery list. I needed milk, yogurt and broccoli. Please, let there be enough. I was hoping for at least eight bucks.
Five minutes later, I walked away from the bright green kiosk with $32.31, feeling like a millionaire.
I haven’t shopped like that since college. Aware of every single penny, it wasn’t my usual whirlwind trip through the grocery store, tossing things into the cart at random. Incidentally, what these people charge for broccoli spears is highway robbery. Only, I’d never stopped to consider it.
Today, I downgraded to the broccoli cuts.
Perhaps out of superstition, I spent only a third of the money on groceries. A third I kept in my wallet, a crisp ten dollar bill to see a movie, and the other third went back to coinage. Quarters for laundry. It’s not savings or paying off a debt, but just as practical.
I can’t help but think this is only a preview of things to come, being reined in to a tighter budget, battling with myself over bagged frozen produce and being appalled at the price of Haagen Dazs. But it’s actually not all that alarming, and in a way, my grocery experience was sort of gratifying. It makes sense, too. I’d learned the concept in principle from a teacher, and in practice, from my mother. When what you’ve given up doesn’t take away from the satisfaction you’ve gained in the deal, you always come out ahead.
I think that’s called opportunity cost.
Brought to you by Coinstar and Ms. Story’s Introduction to Economics.
and with the constant distraction and temptations in NYC, saving is no small feat. good for you!
Coinstar is killing you, kid. Find the nearest Commerce Bank. THey have a machine that does the same thing and takes NO commission. That’s your broccoli right there!!
your mother had it right. memories are worth so much more than things. and congrats on the new job!
You know what I find most comforting about this post? The simple fact that someone can have $7.32 in the bank and be okay with it. Well, reasonably so with a piggy bank in tow. I’ll begin to panic and starve my self when I hit around $150. You are my hero and justification for future spending binges that land me in the poor house.
It reminds me of an urban myth – a Glasgow student who made two purchases with his government grant: a fender telecaster and a bag of oats. A month later, hospitalised with the scurvy, his teeth started following out. Respec’, idiot.
It reminds me of an urban myth – a Glasgow student who made two purchases with his government grant: a fender telecaster and a bag of oats. A month later, hospitalised with the scurvy, his teeth started following out. Respec’, idiot.
good realizations from selecting what you need on a budget. I still hope the opera was great.
All that and broccoli is your choice of food. now thats just strange.
Very nice post.
At the risk of sounding like a real pain….fresh broccoli is cheaper and tastes better.
gotta love coinstar!
Good call. I saw Joan Sutherland at the Met singing “Lucia di Lammermoor” in 1983 and remember it to this day.
heather- I know you have a lot going through your mind this morning, but I have this sneaking suspicion, that everything will turn out just great. Even the broccoli cuts
Funny you should mention Mrs. Story. I saw her this weekend at my Grandad’s memorial service. She is just the same. Have a great day! YUM Broccoli! lol
Ms. Story was tough as nails but so, so nice. I remember she let me sleep once through her entire class because I’d been up studying for the AP exams. They don’t make teachers like that very often.
Once again, Fish, you’ve blessed us with “pearls of wisdom.” Thank you….
I loved this, I am so happy to see another kindred spirit who ends up relying on coinstar at the end, to feel like a millionaire with $32 (£10 still does it for me!) with more memories than food.
You had 32 dollars and didn’t call me to share?
I love how blown away I am every time I read your posts. I wish I could write as good as you. But I didn’t comment just to fawn over you. Your mother’s rule of thirds is a great idea. I may have to try that and see if I can somehow save money–it can’t hurt, right?
Two things
1) I just read what you would be doing now that you’ve quit your job, working at a non profit charter school in harlem…that is the coolest thing ever and what I have always wanted to do.
2) Budgeting sucks! and I’ve always been a fan of coinstar machines. This weekend I used every bit of change I had to pay tolls. There is no shame in usuing change.
let’s go shopping together. i see things through your green colored glasses.
this weekend stephanie and i went for brunch. the restaurant charged me .50 cents extra for a slice of lettuce on my cheeseburger. grumble, grumble. AND THEY GAVE HER A BED OF LETTUCE/TOMATO WITH HER OMELETTE GRATIS!
thank you for allowing me to rant.
Dear Ms Fish …I love reading you. I gasped a little breath of emotion when I read “When what youâve given up doesnât take away from the satisfaction youâve gained in the deal, you always come out ahead.” I have been struggling with the thought I might have to let my little antique business go. It brings me more joy than I can explain having this little dream of being a shop owner although I have given up quarterly hair cuts, waxing …and a host of other ‘necessities’. Your inspirational message has given me exactly what I needed today to keep going. Thank you.
We live in a society that profits when we confuse desire with need. While cell phones and high speed computers, mani/peds and lunches out often seem like necessities, I once lived very happily on $8000 a year when I decided to quit my soul-sucking retail job and go back to school full time. 5 years later, I’m a grad student doing what I love. My boyfriend says that I pinch a penny and end up with a nickel! Check out (from the library) a great new book called, “Live your Life for Half the Price” by Mary Hunt- and enjoy your new job…and your new life!
I love coinstar. I’m not super frugal, but I do save all my change in a giant Hello Kitty bank and take it with me to the grocery once a month. I take the credit towards groceries, not the cash. It’s strangely satisfying.
If it makes you feel better, frozen veggies are sometimes actually better for you than “fresh produce” because the frozen ones were frozen fresh from picking, whereas the “fresh” produce has been sitting around for a few days for transportation, wasting away the vitamins. Good luck!
The one third system is exactly what I did when I was younger as well. In fact, I still do a variation of it as an adult!
wow, thats really great advice. coming from a college kid who was taught no tricks like that from her mother, and who spends like crazy, thanks for the bit of inspiration. haha
With the nonprofit job comes new skills. Like learning how to bury your credit card so deep in your closet that it can never resurface. And learning how to cook. My food budget is a quickly spent $25 a week. It’s all about making a big pot of lentil soup on Sunday, baby.
Fulfilling job but sick of lentils. It’s a good tradeoff.
i struggled with similar issues a year ago upon graduating college. do i need it vs. simply wanting it. I especially ran into trouble upon seeing all of this money in my bank account i could suddenly afford weekly mani/pedis, that marc jacobs bag i had been eyeing etc. but i knew it would soon catch up to me when i realized i couldn’t live like that FOREVER! I always remember the SATC episode after carrie & aiden broke up and she tries to get a loan to buy back her apartment in those situations. I bought the book “City Chic: An Urban Girl’s Guide to Livin’ Large on Less” & a lot of the tips on there are really great. I love vintage and sample sales and I try my best to replenish my savings account so I can avoid coinstar at all costs, because i have definitely been there, and i truly don’t want to go back.
I’ve done that before… actually…. I do that often. I’m a sucker for live performances and the tickets are so expensive! Such a shame or more people might go more often (to the opera, to the theater, to the ballet, to the symphony, etc.etc.).
Here’s to making it til payday!
I am so excited to shout from the roof tops COMMERCE BANKS HAVE PENNY ARCADES!! You lug your change in and you get cash for free! They get 0% of it.
beautifully written fish!! i’m cutting ALL costs until my old company pays my settlement… and boy am i feeling the pinch!
I’ve always preferred shopping that way…it made me appreciate everything that I was able to purchase that much more.
If I had 32 dollars right now, I would bury it under a tree somewhere….or possibly eat something other than ramen noodles!
I am without a job b/c I am in a new country. When I was a kid we did not have much either and part of me feels okay that I am not working since I am also not spending. But in reality, I feel the poorest I have ever felt and this is not a good thing.
You made realize: I go through the supermarket tossing items into my cart without (usually) so much as a glance at the price. I really need to stop doing that! But there’s one thing I just can’t give up, no matter how much they jack up the price: Vanilla Silhouette bars. My nightly treat.
Nicely written fish. You are an awesome writer!! I am frugal, it is in my bones and i am not sure how it got there but I will never buy anything not on sale because almost everything goes on sale. But it is good to have to dig deep down in the pockets once in a while in order to appreciate the simple things in life….like having more than enough to buy broccoli. I think we often forget the feeling in this fastlane we call life. Kudos to you for bringing us back to where we need to go once in a while to feel grateful.
I remember the days of having no money when I was a kid, relying on bags of groceries to turn up on the doorstep, donated by members of the local church.
I also remember living on Vegemite on toast for weeks on end while I was a student. They weren’t terrible times, but I don’t necessarily want to go back there.
I really admire what you’re doing because right now I don’t have the strength to quit my job and freelance instead. I totally understand the risk you’re taking and applaud you.
Well done!!
We had enough money for a family size bottle of coke once a week, along with family sized potato chips. My father enjoyed a meagre Castle lager on Saturdays for lunch. I was always hungry!
seriously? enjoy life. ALL of it. you only live one single time and that haagen dazs lingering on your tongue is better than the coins in your bank account at the final coming of the Christ. so live it up, enjoy new york, enjoy your life, buy those purses and shoes and opera tickets and know that the Lord will provide, even if you don’t believe in the Lord, I’m telling you that He’ll provide. you.only.live.one.single.time.
very cute and interesting….economics that is what i’m taking this semester…. our lecturer just tought us two days ago.
I think it’s ok to believe in fate, too myself. What can be lost in not letting go and allowing fate to take its natural course is worse than otherwise. Let the Deity trample not all over your brain, however, no matter how much you implicitly believe in IT.
I see you’re hocking Walmart on your page now. Good call. God knows, we all need more commercialism and consumerism in our lives. May you bask in spa treatments and power lunches forever.
I haven’t seen any Walmart ads yet. But if they are there, I think iVillage has control over all the ads, not Fish.
I really have to try to save money. My credit card bills have gotten huge since last year. =(
I have completely been there and in fact I have 3 dollars in my wallet now and scrounging for change. It is funny to think about, cause I one to think that things are always going to go smooth, but sometimes the change is what gets you through the week.
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, but haven’t left any comments. I just wanted to say good luck with your new endeavor – satisfaction is what counts, not the bank balance.
I am a young professional woman with a reasonable corporate job, and yet, digging for change happens to me all of the time. Those are the days when I remind myself: I am not my job. I am not my bank account. I am not my tastefully furnished apartment.
Thank you.
p.s. Raspberry Haagen Dazs sorbet is love.
I think you need to add an Amazon wishlist. I would totally send you a Harry and David basket in the spirit of the holidays. You need to feed your soul,too, though and I think you made a good choice with the opera ticket.
Oh, I do have an Amazon Wishlist! I just always have felt weird posting stuff like that, but I sure as heck wouldn’t argue if you wanted to feed my soul!
Send me your wishlist, or post it, silly. I don’t see an email addy on your site, am I blind? You can email me at maracoma@msn.com.
fish@thisfish.com
wheee! you’re the bees knees!