Brunch at Alice’s Tea Cup, Chapter II means dining among little girls wearing brightly colored fairy wings while you sip from delicate porcelain cups – each different from the its neighbors at the table. It means no cell phone (“Off with your head!” I believe is the threat for phones left on). It also means no coffee. Sure, they probably have it available, but it’d be criminal to order a cup of joe in a place like that.
You do not get invited to a tea party to drink coffee.
When I sat down with Rachel and Goldner on Saturday afternoon, I scanned the menu for something that would suit myâ€_ finicky taste in tea. Don’t get me wrong. I like tea. It just has to be fruity or otherwise sweet. It helps if it’s pink. I skipped past the black teas, the green teas and finally, among the herbal teas, my eyes stopped at this description:
Raspberry leaf basedâ€_ blended with chamomile and rosehips.
Not only was it fruity, but it was bound to be pink. Perfect! That was easy enough! Easy until it came time to order, anyway.
Each tea at Alice’s Tea Cup comes with a specific name. Like, Mauritius, the vanilla blended black tea. Or the Drink Me Detox Blend. Orâ€_
“The Mother to Be, please.â€ù I said, not bearing to look at the waiter. “Even though I’m not. A mother to be, I mean.â€ù
I know I must have blushed when I said it. I could envision the waiter scanning my midsection for the tell-tale bump. And worse, thinking he saw evidence of it. Goldner erupted in laughter on the other side of the table offering mazel tovs. I smoothed my shirt against my stomach and glared at him.
“Congratulations.â€ù The waiter grinned.
“No, but I’m not.â€ù It didn’t matter. He was already across the dining room with our orders scratched on a white note pad. And for the girl with the tummy? She’ll have the Mother to Be. Yes, it’s all very exciting.
Of course, it was someone different who brought the tea to our table a few minutes later and I had to go through the, I Swear I’m Not Pregnant routine all over again. No, no, not pregnant. I just like pink tea.
And last night, I had a dream (read: nightmare) that I gave birth. Gee, I wonder why.
The child I birthed, incidentally, had a full set of pointy teeth and could speak. If I had a therapist, I’m sure they’d love to tackle that one.
Sure look forward to your wonderful stories. Thanks for the smile.
raspberry! yum! great story.
I just found out that I’m pregnant AND I’m going to Alice’s Tea Cup in two weeks for a bridal shower. I’ll have to try the mother to be tea!
Oh, that’s just the raspberry repeating on you! *evil grin*
I once bought elastic-waist ‘cottage pants’ online, and when they were delivered, there was a maternity catalog in the box. DOH!
no more elastic-waist.
Hugely recommend my favourite tea:
“Passion” flavoured Tazo at Starbucks – it’s like juice. And it’s crimson.
That’s just gorgeous.
Was the tea any good?
Torrie! YAY! I’m so glad to hear that. Congratulations!
Now that, is one great story! At least your friends only laughed. Mine, they would have created quite an elaborate lie!
i’m so glad I’m not the only one who has dreams like that . . .
I was mistaken for pregnant once while shopping for maternity clothes with my sister.
“When’s the big day?” the fitting room attendant asked.
My jaw hit the floor. I swear, if she would have put her hand on my belly I would have dropped right there.
I don’t go into that section of Target anymore.
Nice tea story!
They need to think of a new name for that tea!!! I’m sure your not the first for that to happen to. Do they think that only pregnant women like pink tea! Thanks for the laugh. I needed that on the “Monday” after a three day weekend.
supposedly raspberry leaf is good for reproductive health, hence the name
not that you have to be pregnant to enjoy it!
http://www.yogitea.com/Organic-Tea/Tea.asp?Tea_ID=WT05
My mother would have ordered the same, as her blood is 52% chamomile. Of course, she’s full-blown menopause and would have told the waiter to suck it. Then she would have set up camp because she and my dad drink more tea than Winston Churchill and Margaret Thatcher on a vacation to India.
Thanks Heather!
Ironically, I was with the girl who’s bridal shower I’m going to and we were talking about blogging and she said “didn’t you meet Fish once?” and I said “yeah, she was really nice.”
Then I came home and read this post.
It’s a small world.
Oooh, I love Alice’s tea cup. They have the cutest bathrooms…
I’ve heard about those “rosehips” nightmares. Think I’ll go make a nice cup of coffee.
Ciao, Teri
I call dreams of me being pregnant and/or giving birth, ‘nightmares’ as well. Glad to know I’m not the only one.
I’ve never heard of Alice’s tea cup. Raspberry tea leaf brings on contractions, that probably gave you the birth dream.
Hmm better take a PG test…maybe the waiter telephathically impregnated you.
thanks for giving me something to do at work today!
To dream of giving birth or see someone else giving birth, suggests that you are giving birth to a new idea or project. It also represents new beginnings or some upcoming event. A more direct interpretation of this dream, may represent your desires/ anxieties of giving birth or the anticipation for such an event to occur. To dream that you are giving birth to a non-human creature, signifies you overwhelming (an unfounded) fear in the health of your baby. You are overly concerned that your baby may have birth defects. This type of dream is common in expectant mothers in their second trimester. If you are not expecting, then it refers to your fear in the outcome of some decision or project. You are trying to overcome difficulties in your life and achieve inner development. In particular, if you dream that you are giving birth to a monster, then it implies that your inner creative energy has yet to differentiate itself and grow into expression.*from dreemmoods.com
Could have been worse. Rachael could have gone to the bathroom when the waiter came by and made you order, “The Mother To Be Tea for Two”
Love the humor in those moments of awkward misunderstanding. Cute story.
As soon as I read:
“The child I birthed, incidentally, had a full set of pointy teeth and could speak.”
The first thing I thought of was this cheesy B Horror flick from 1974 called It’s Alive. A cult favorite about an ordinary couple who become the parents of a bouncing baby boy. Unfortunately, the infant is a grotesque monster who embarks upon a grisly killing spree throughout Los Angeles! The cops attempt to track down the blood-thirsty babe, as the parents (who have no idea how or why this happened) try to cope with this unusual ordeal.
As always, your posts always make me laugh and think of things I haven’t thought of in a while.
Thanks!
You always describe so nicely how you feel caught in odd and mistaken situations. This kind of things happens too me all the time… I feel happier thinking I’m not alone!!!
I had a dream 2 nights ago… not only I had given birth to a baby boy, but I’d left him in the hospital and not even named him. In my dream I casually went to the hospital to pick him up, still without a name and he was on a second shelf of the nursery! yes.. babies where on shelves and you pointed at yours and the nurse would hand him towards you across a hole in the nursery’s glass window.
yeah, the “being mistaken for or assumed as pregnant” ranks up there as one of the worst things ever…for a single girl. it’s happened to me. some insensitive aesthetician while performing my bikini wax. is if the act needed additional awkwardness.
Cute story. I actually was just looking up Alice’s Tea Cup last week to put on our NYC must-do list. Will my husband and father-in-law feel really out of place though? We dragged them to a similiar tea shop in my area and they were ok with it.. for the most part.
I’m from Georgia; I like my tea with about 3 pounds of sugar in it.
Poor you! I recently had a similar experience. This weekend, at my freakin’ WEDDING shower, one of my mom’s friends came up to me, put her hand on my (admittedly a little large) belly and said, “ooh! This is so exciting! Is it a boy or a girl???”
It took immense effort not to slap her. Instead I said, “Oh, no, I’m not that scandalous, I’ve just gotten fat.”
The best thing was that I later heard that her own daughter WAS “that scandalous.” Heh.
What an evil woman.
Oh, and PS, I also recommend the Tazo Passion tea! It’s delish.
hilarious! what a fun place to be, unless you like pink tea!
“the “being mistaken for or assumed as pregnant” ranks up there as one of the worst things ever…for a single girl.” Try being a very tall girl and being asked in a supermarket if you are a boy or a girl by some snot-nosed little tyke whose parental unit probably thinks questions like that are cute and precocious…..
Finally you’re willing to admit it and share our love with the world!!!
The tea was good. I did not receive any fairy dust from the waiter. I am still pissed about it.
Is everything OK, Fishy? I need a new post! I’m having withdrawals….
I’m a wreck this week. Worn out AND been without internet for the last two days! I’m making a comeback though!
The ironic part of your story is you’re supposed to avoid raspberry tea when you’re preggo, because it is rumored to make you go into labor early.
You know, every time I’ve been to Alice’s Teacup, I’ve avoided that tea – despite the fact that I love/will only drink fruity teas, and raspberry is my favorite – because of the oh-so-inconvenient name. Some of the mango-tropical type stuff on the last page of the menu is very good, too, though. Maybe even pink.
Wow it’s stories like these that make me miss the States (I’m currently in Kuwait). Only in New York would they have a ‘tea salon’ that serves different teas for mummies-to-be!