“Can you maybe do for me a favor?”
“Excuse me?”
“Can you maybe do for me a favor?”
He said it more loudly this time, barely turning around. Could I do for him a favor? He spoke with a thick, Eastern European accent. Russian, maybe.
I’d had my pick of cabs outside the Duane Reade on 86th Street. Eeny meeny miny… had I just moed my way into a thirty block ride in total discomfort? I shifted in my seat. Oh well. At the very least, it would make for a good story.
“Um. Well, what kind of favor?”
The cab driver turned half-way around in the front seat.
“You know how to do the text message?”
He gestured with his phone, flipped it open and made typing motions on the keys.
“I get the free text message, but I cannot drive and push the buttons. Will you do it?”
He pronounced ‘it’ like ‘eeet,’
I laughed and said sure. This was the kind of favor I could do. And once he’d handed the phone between the slit in the fiberglass window and I figured out the menu, I got my typing fingers ready.
“What do you want to say?”
“Oh yes. Here ees the message,” he said, pushing a piece of notebook paper through the window.
There were no fewer than twelve lines of handwritten text. Something about an early reservation, and T always as in Tara and please to have lovely day. I thought for a moment it might encoded government secrets and then I remembered that we’ve been friends with the Russians for years now and well, my life is not secret government code exciting. It’s very rarely Golden Girls exciting.
So I got to typing.
When I realized the extent of the message, I told him I didn’t think I would get done – we were already flying down Second Avenue – but I that I would try.
“For you, now, I would do any favor. If you want, we stop and I buy for you flowers!”
“No, that’s really alright.” I laughed. Thought it was sort of tempting. Who gets flowers from their cabbie?
As expected, when we arrived at my destination, I hadn’t finished. I pressed save and made a mark on the paper where I’d gotten to. I handed him back his phone.
“Now I do for you a favor!” he said. “You do not pay for cab ride.”
Ah, the barter system. I am a fan. When I got out of the cab, I was laughing to myself, picturing some other bewildered passenger finishing up my work on their way across town, and secretly hoping that I’d just passed on some secret government shit.
You never know.
(*like Veggie Tales, only with 98% less Jesus)
ah, yes the barter system. i love it. have no money in a mountain town? stickers work just as well.
J’aime New York. GREAT story!
I’m kind of lost on where Veggie Tales enters the picture.
I’ve had 3 cabbies (of varying nationalities) in different cities ask me to help them with their mobile phone operations during a ride as well. Maybe driving a taxi is the only thing retired secret service agents are equipped to do.
Great, GREAT story! I could hear him, and I could almost see him. If it were me, I would’ve accepted the flowers… AND the free cab ride too! But I probably would’ve also finished his text message in return and paid a bit o tip. And then I would’ve found some version of trouble, and it would’ve made for a much too long and convoluted story. Which is why you’re writing this, and I’m not.
hahaha…love it. That is an amazing story.
That was great! I would’ve accepted the flowers as well and paid for the ride. What a riot! Only in NYC!
That’s a great story. But i’m left to wonder what was so important in a text msg. he couldn’t make the call after he dropped you off.
The call wouldn’t have been free. I assumed, anyway, that’s why he was texting.
This morning, a little old woman dropped her purse right in front of the escalator at the 59th & Lex station. I stopped to help her and also block traffic so she wouldn’t be knocked over. Someone that could clearly see the issue at hand shoved me hard out of their way.
Thanks for the reassurance that every good deed doesn’t always go unreturned – and that this world is still full of friendly strangers I have yet to encounter…
Matt,
The Veggie Tales thing was just me being silly, up past my bedtime and tired to the point of delirium. It happens. And I try not to suppress those sorts of urges.
I would have gladly texted for a cabbie to get free rides when I lived in NYC…it would have cut my commuting costs!
man, i wish i could get cab rides like that!
i only get stinky cab rides…
Last week, my local cigarette guy asked me to mind his newstand while he ran to go to the bathroom. Before I could say anything, he was gone! I’m proud to say that, in his interminably-long 10 minute absence, I sold 5 newspapers, a Snapple, and a Kit-Kat bar. No free smokes though. Can you believe it? That’s the LAST time I’ll watch over HIS newstand!
What a totally charming story. Thanks for the great start to my day.
It’s like cabbies have to fill out a special kind of application. Love it.
my 1st time reading your blog, and i LOVE it!
yes, only in NYC!
i love the city 
You have the most amazing stories Fish! I don’t know if it’s a city thing or you just have such luck.
in the years i lived in nyc, i only once had an offer from a cabbie not to pay the fare. mind you he took an hour to get from 26th and lex to greenwich village. talk about lost. but your story is great and a reminder of why new york is new york. thanks for sharing.
because the 2% Jesus begot a free cab ride? Why do I see a Depeche Mode video, with the band at a Dairy Farm?
“Your own 2% Jesus”
“Someone to pay for cabs, someone who cares”
OK, I suck.
I don’t know how I found this site, but it is very nice. I really loved reading ‘three’. I have been in some awkward situations, and I admit, I probably caused them all. My wife- girlfriend then, was never really ‘into girls’. Afraid of the social stigma. But she isn’t a homophobe either, and while she prefers to receive rather than give, she can get a little freaky sometimes. I enjoyed the comments as well, to share, or not to share. That you deserve a bicycle that is all your own. In my secret fantasy world, and much less in real life, I admit I have explored the pros and cons of having my cake, and eating it too. We are not in an open relationship, and we are not swingers, but we have bridged the gaps that often causes ‘normal’ monogamy to fail. The desire for 100% commitment often creates ‘serial monogamy’. People tend to want-and get 100%, and it works, until something- maybe even superficially- better comes along. Then you are left with nothing, zero, zip, nada. Maybe a divorce, or two or three…
’tis what I do love about NYC. Good on ya!
I love the Veggie Tales tag line.
Ooh, I don’t know. Sounds like a current day Good Samaritan if you ask me!
I only get cabbies that can’t find their way out of JFK airport. I have a cab ride home run anywhere from $10 – $35. The $10 price is correct give a dollar or so. Amazing.
Nicest cabbie I ever heard. And how great that you were able to nimbly type out his message!
This should be turned into a competition: who can type out a predetermined message before reaching their destination?
It was complicated, too. With numbers and percents. This guy was no texting light-weight.
Okay, so NYC is a bizarre light-world away from this small midWestern town, but OH! the stories!
It was a secret agent love note. It has to have been.
I love this story! I jumped in a cab yesterday, and when I gave my destination, the driver informed me that last time he drove someone there, he won $5,000 on a lottery ticket. When he dropped me off, he asked me for four numbers. He said if he won again, he would come and find me. He made my morning.
Living in NYC is so much more interesting than living in mid-America.
You know, I don’t think that’s true at all. I think everywhere you go there are amazing characters and little moments of total silliness that make for good stories.
Great post–too funny! I love quirky cabbie experiences.
oooh! what a cute cabbie! great post!
too funny. I once had a cabbie invite me to his wedding. heh.
great story
Well, I hope his next fare finishes up the message. I’d like to know what it said completely.
Fish, you crack me up. I laughed so hard at your Golden Girls reference that my coworker (in another walls w/door office)wanted to know what was funny!
ha ha, i wish more ex russian spies lived round here! all i ever get is grumpy taxi drivers!
I love this post!
And you know how much I love free shit.
I think I may become addicted to your blog. Prufrock recommended I check out this site, and he’s right – I love it.
Oh the joys of those things that define the madness of Manhattan…every minute is a new york minute…
This Londoner’s had her fair share of NY cabbies, just as exciting as walking down broadway, you never know whats going to happen!!
dear heather,
you’re gay.
i love you
HA! I love this! I especially took notice when you mentioned Russian espionage bc their agency is the “SVR”-my initials. Hehe!
That is a hilarious story! And how great that he didn’t charge you for the cab ride.
My life, too, is rarely “Golden Girls” exciting. Loved that part.
Hi all–
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AvB