relax. this post is spoiler free.
We knew the movie was going to be a bit silly; every review out there mocks it to one degree or another. But Sarah and I were curious. And well-prepared as we took our seats at Loews 34th Street.
Tucked away in my purse were six little bottles of rum, to be added to our over-priced theater fountain drinks. And tucked away in our brains was a list of rules… for Da Vinci Code: The Drinking Game.
The rules are very simple.
Every time Tom Hanks hair strikes you as funny, drink.
Every time a monk speaks Latin into a cell phone, drink.
Every time Ian McKellen is being fabulous, drink.
Every time something absolutely ludicrous happens, you must pour more booze into your soda. And drink.
Every time there’s onscreen chemistry between Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou, you have to let the stranger seated next to you drink out of your cup*. Every time there isn’t, drink.
Random flashback?
Finding an albino Paul Bettany strangely hot?
Line so corny you snort?
Drink, drink, drink.
As it turned out, every single review we’d read had been spot on. And you can guess where that got us. Giggly and racing for the bathroom at the end of the movie.
Now, this is where it gets good. This is the part where Nicole Kidman also has to go to the bathroom after the movie (she and Keith Urban totally must have been playing Da Vinci Code: The Drinking Game, too). The ladies’ room was atwitter. And as we stood outside the theater, texting everyone we’ve ever known about our latest encounter with fame and botox, I turned to Sarah and hiccupped,
“Aw, it’s like our own little Miracle on 34th Street.”
Every time a celebrity encounter makes you act like a twelve year old girl, drink.
*No actual sharing with strangers took place during the watching of this film. It is that bad.
You just made me want to go see that travesty of a movie – even after confirming that it is, in fact, a travesty. I would also drink every time Audrey Tatou turned her doe eyes toward the camera.
I sat behind Nicole Kidman at a movie once. It was Shakespeare in Love. She kept talking about how cute the dog was. Not that I was eavesdropping or anything.
Oh man! Why didn’t I have these rules when I entered MY theater to watch?
It would have made the experience tolerable – even if Nicole Kidman never wandered into any of the Vermont bathroom theaters.
Oh my gawd. I have to do this…brings me back to Happy Gilmore drinking game that we all chose a swear word and had to drink when it was said. Ah, the simple games in life are the best.
Next Saturday…DaVinci Code game.
Very cool seeing Nicole and Keith.
Enjoying your twist on the movie and did NOT expect to then read about a celebrity sighting, and THEN to also have the quip – nicely done!!!
Wish I’d brought the mini bottles into The Interpreter.
she used a public restroom?! i thought for sure she’d have her own potty in her limo or something. wow.
Now THERE’S a reason to go see a movie: who knew you could have a drinking game during the show? Awesome idea – wonder if it works as well for motion call?
Oooh sounds fun! But you don’t say, did Kidman look good or weird and plasticy?
Paul Bettany IS hot. *sigh*
She was not all that tall, scarily blonde and white, and had that demure look on her face.
OMG! Why have I never thought of this game before! I have to do this!
Very cool about Keith and Nicole. You shoulld have gone up to her and sked if they played too!!!!LOL
She is such a lucky woman. Yes is is short, but Keith Urban is SOOOOO HOT! Yum!
so, once again, paul bettany is the only good thing about an over-serious travesty (i.e., ‘a beautiful mind’)? saw a brief flash of that way intense look he does during the trailer, and yeah, even albino, hott. but you figured that movie was going to be bad when you heard that tom hanks was cast in it (seriously, nothing about him matches the “slightly older very cereberal professor in tweed” bit from the book), and you *knew* it was going to blow as soon as you saw his hair…
v.v.jealous about random celeb encounters! like RzDrmz said, i’d expect her to have a private potty somewhere. ah, celebrities, they’re people just like us but with famous boyfriends.
I just got home from seeing the movie and thought it was pretty decent. I think everyone who hates it only hates it because they think they have to (especially after reading the bad reviews). If you take it for what it is, a great story, the movie is entertaining. If you think it’s going to be the next Best Picture award winner, you’re just fooling yourself. Enjoy the movie for what it’s worth.
p.s. I still love your drinking game idea!!!
but no matter how bad the movie is you know that you have to go and see it anyway…
Oh, oh, oh. I celebrity encounter tonight too.
Except I got kissed so I wasn’t acting 12. But just as ridiculously starstuck!
Sounds like fun! Must try it some time. Fish, as a “long time reader, first time poster” I gotta say that you have an uncanny knack for writing great posts- keep it up.
Went to see it last night. Think I would have enjoyed it more if I didn’t read the book since they left stuff out and added in a whole 20 min segment……I agree Hanks should not have been cast as Langdon, although I am not sure who I think should have been cast…. Any ideas? SPeaking of people cast…Thank God and Jesus and Mary Magdalene that Ian was cast and not a red head blah blah blah like in the book.
Excellent drinking game.. I think it will help the movie greatly when I go next weekend!
I’m hoping to incorporate my own favorite drinking game rule as well, though, “The Triple.” It occurs whenever a character utters three entirely incomprehensible words in a row. Useful for Star Trek drinking games.
Saw the movie this weekend. That drinking game might’ve helped me get through the last hour. Ian McKlellan was freakin awesome, but it didn’t make up for the rest of that crap.
Loved the book, almost slept through the movie.
Ha! I love this post.
I was kinda sad that DaVinci Code was a travesty, but you’re right. I wish I would have brought little Soco bottles in with me.
I’m honored I was one of the recipients of the “Nicole Kidman just blew past me in the bathroom” text messages!
Did you try and touch Nicole “down under?”
Ooh, recycling jokes, Goldy???
I was wondering how to make this movie better…
They should have follow your advice and give alcohol at the entrance.
If they are doing that kind of garbage, the least thay can do is offer you tequila.
Nice post
That’s hilarious!
Four mini bottles? Sounds like I’d need two and a half gallons of moonshine to play that drinking game for that particular movie.
And, as a guy, I’d have to add the following rule. Drink every time Audrey Tautou makes you think naughty thoughts.
Your life is strangely fabulous, and your posts make mine too. Thanks
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
I was trying to think of excuses not to go, but now I know how to survive!!!
Amusing post – it helped me enjoy the film despite me forgetting to take in any achohol.
I too felt that Hanks was somehow out of place. I reckon that Bill Murray would have fit the bill much better.
Fabulous. Now I feel the need to totally steal your idea : )
OP, considering the many pictures of Nicole Kidman all around NY filming and with the many expressions on her face, I’d say you are trying too hard to sound nonchalant about the encounter, she is actually not BOTOXED right now. Nicole Kidman is that tall, she is 5 ft 11 and yes, blonde. You are not the first person to have seen her, perhaps the reason she didn’t give you any expression is because you are a nobody! I bet that was the best thing to have ever happened in your miserable life.
One of my girlfriends is obsessed with Tom Hanks (she calls him ‘Hanky Panky’ – eewwwwww) and dragged me kicking and screaming to this movie (sorry not a Dan Brown fan). Da Vinci Code: The Drinking Game, is the reason I am still here today and that I haven’t pronged my eye out with a fork in sheer boredom. Thank you Fish. Oh and the booze made my girlfriend swoon over her Hanky Panky even more so we were both very happy.