New York and I are taking a break.
After months of being at each other’s throats like quarreling lovers, I’ve decided that if we’re ever going to have a lasting, loving relationship, this city and I need a little time apart.
Like most of the really big decisions in my life, I made this one on a whim. On Friday, I arrived in Dallas, wound too tightly and, as always, half-broke. By the middle of last week, I’d put a deposit on an apartment, off-loaded my UES apartment, and booked the movers. Then I emailed my loved ones.
Dear The People I Love, it went. I’m moving to Dallas. In two weeks.
The most common response has been, WHAT? Which I can understand. It is rather out of the blue. But what can I say? I’m impulsive; it’s just the way I’m wired. Besides, it’s only temporary.
I like that word, temporary; it feels nice and commitment-free. Which is pretty much all I can handle at the moment. Temporary will be long enough to write my book (oh, yes, it’s in the works!), save some money, and do a bit of traveling (Prague! Florence! Mykonos!). It’s going to be temporarily kick-ass.
Once upon a time, New York and I were truly, madly, deeply in love and I want it to be that way again. I figure a few months of Metroplex traffic, not having the world’s best coffee five steps from my front door, and missing some of the people I love best in the whole world will set me straight. And when I’m good and rested, forlorn for my friends, and carrying around a lot less debt, I’ll appreciate New York again. Instead of wanting to stab it in the eye.
There’s nothing I like more than a good, exciting adventure, and hopefully, my temporary stay in Dallas will be just that. Besides, I like to think of it as a whole new population of men to misunderstand. And what about that isn’t exciting?
Wow. Congratulations!
I honestly can’t imagine trading NYC in for Texas, but to each her own.
Still blogging from there, I hope?
Bon chance, bon voyage.
Of course still blogging! And thanks!
EEEE! I am so excited for you to be a Texas resident again…even if it is temporarily. Don’t forget your Uglies! We shall have many adventures.
Counting the days til someone else helps you to move! HA
Wow. Congrats!
I envy you. For having both the portability to make such a life changing move on a whim, and the courage to do so.
I often point to The Ladies as the reason that I live a mere kilometre from my childhood home, but I wonder if they weren’t a consideration, would I really just pick up and move wherever the spirit takes me. I’m truly not sure.
Good luck and I hope you like Dallas, but realize that NY is your soul mate.
OH, i’m so excited! i’m in Austin, and maybe you’ll come to visit Stephanie and her beans again and maaaybe have time for a coffee or something with moi.
here’s hopin! good luck with the move – i’m sure it will be just what you need.
Wow, sounds like a good idea.
The great thing about moving to a new city is that it allows us to redefine ourselves. With no one around who has expectations and preconceptions about your habits or behavior you’re free to change things without having to justify yourself all the time.
It worked for me, sorta. Unfortunately, Buckaroo Banzi was right: “No matter where you go, there you are.” My transformation wasn’t as complete as I’d hoped it would be but that’s ok. There’s only so many rockstar/brainsugeon/superspys a little town like this can handle.
Good for you – I’m planning on moving from South Florida to Charlston, SC, shortly. ALL BY MYSELF (well, two dogs and two cats!) Good luck to both of us!
looking forward to hearing about your adventures in Dallas and the forthcoming book!
wow! best of luck to you in the big D!
Hey, I live in Tyler, Texas – you know where that is. I spend a lot of time in Dallas, and on behalf of the entire Lone Star State, I say “Welcome”.
Ironically, I am going to NYC in August on vacation, and I wanted to ask your native opinion on what to do and see. I detest overrun toursit attractions.
Good luck!
Why is it I always see my mistakes (even after proofreading) right after I hit the ‘post’ button?
after reading ari’s april 5th post, i had a strong feeling that she was referring to you. congratulations! enjoy the adventure. life is about living, and you’re doing just that.
Something must be in the air this “spring”…so many seem to be on the move or contemplating such. I just came back from a trip to Nashville. After living in Los Angeles and its environs for 18 years, I am seriously considering uprooting my son and I and heading Southeast for something a little slower and relatively sane-ish. Having grown up in the midwest, there’s something about it that feels “better” right now. lol. I absolutely love your writing and hope one day to venture into writing myself. I await your book anxiously and completely “get” why you are going. A change of scenery often lends itself to a clear perspective. Way to go!
You are truly an amazing person…. I almost did the same thing last October. Well, not leave New York, but leave the city I’ve always been in… but instead got caught up in a relationship that was rather a backwards step for me… Best of luck you Fish!!! Now that that relationship is through, perhaps I am also ready to take that leap of faith… and do what my heart desires.
congrats on your big decision and the excitement that lies ahead, Fish. Leaving NYC is the one true way to find out how much a part of you it’s become. May you be surprised and pleased by your latest voyage of discovery.
That is an amazing plan! And doesn’t sound half bad either… If you get bored of Dallas, the Philly suburbs are equally cheap and devoid of good coffee but we do have a fabulous creation called WaWa… something to contemplate
Good luck!!!!!!
holy crap…that’s almost faster than my chicago back to LA move. granted, i didn’t really want to go back but when it boiled down to it, it was much needed for my sanity. good luck!
If you’re going to be living in Dallas for a while, you’re really going to have to do something with your hair. Think BIG. Start buying giant economy size cans of Aqua Net. Kiss your good hair days goodbye and say hello to humidity. I’ve had a bad hair day for the past 20 years. I know whereof I speak.
Welcome back to TX…don’t be alarmed when strangers start talking to you in elevators. That threw me off when I moved back too.
That, and fact that the bird population here is very Hitchcock-esque.
Congratulations. You just never know what may happen down in Texas…totally full of opportunities which is always a good thing. Best of luck.
WHAT?!
Just kidding! As an above commenter said, I envy you as well for having the guts to do this. I wish I could just pick up, but I have too many ties that bind me down here (beyond friends and family). Good luck and I look forward to reading about all your new adventures, because you are right, what isn’t exciting about misunderstanding a whole new class of men while you’re at it!
change is always a good thing – congrats!
You can take the girl out of NY. . . My first thought upon reading your post: Ooo! UES sublet available! This in spite of fact that I haven’t lived in any of the 5 boros for 20 years.
How does Hal look in a 10 gallon hat?
Best of luck!
what’s funny is that I made a similar decision about Chicago a few months ago. It’s time for me to go home to Louisiana. Of course, I’m thinking a bit more than temporary (but I’m only 24 so I don’t really tend to think more than a few years at a time).
Have fun in Dallas (I’ve got some friends and family there and have entertained moving there someday myself) and get to the book stuff and adventures. As long as you keep blogging, I say GO FOR IT! Dallas is lucky to have you.
cowboys. yum. congrats!
Good luck! i hope you meet a couple of hotties
Oh that’s exciting! I wish you the best of luck in your new temporary arrangement!
I wondered if it was you… I read on Ari’s blog that someone was moving, someone of her very best friends.
I’m thinking of all of the fabulous Tex-Mex restaurants and margaritas that you will be able to go to, and I am jealous. Be sure to eat at El Fenix for us East Coast transplants who don’t get to home as often as they would like!
Good luck to you. If you really want to slow things down, come to Mississippi. The coffee’s not too bad.
I live in Lewisville. I would invite you for coffee or a drink, but just reading your site for 3 years doesn’t really mean we know each other and I would probably be too star struck to carry on intelligent conversation.
Hope you enjoy your stay however long it may be.
Congrats!! I was based in DFW and lived in Las Colinas for 2 years just a short time ago–I luved TX- the bar-bq is fab;people are so friendly; I envy you~
angie/stuck in ATL
As a Ft Worth native I welcome you to TX. BBQ, mexican food (El Fenix is great as suggested above), and Shiner beer… what is not to like. check out the dallas aquarium, or if you are in Ft Dub check out the museums, the Kimball, Modern and Amon Carter and some of the best in the country.
Go Mavs!!!
Yay! Welcome to Texas! Dallas is one of the coolest cities here (second only to Austin, that is, which is a mere 3.5 hours away). Look forward to Tex-Mex, ammmmazing margaritas, warm weather, and men opening doors for you!
Congrats Fish! On a whim 7 years ago, I packed my car and moved to Nashville from Dallas! People thought I was crazy too when I just up and left, but it really feels good to do something gutsy. I have not regretted my decision at all.
Damn.
I admire that….I’m too stable and stodgy to leave my permanent ways. i do think a vacation is in order however…i’m getting tired
Impulsiveness is one of my favorite qualities. Congrats on your big decision. I CANNOT WAIT to read the book.
Congratulations and good luck on the move! Maybe it will offer you some comfort that you’re not giving up all the luxuries of NY when you move – Dallas now has its very own Tasti-D-Lite (right by SMU).
Good for you! I wish I had the courage to do anything (aside from cutting my hair) on whim. Best of luck, Fish!! =)
What an awesome brave adventurer you are Heather, I love it! Enjoy, have a great experience -looking so forward to hearing about it all ;’)
Congratulations!
I have been considering a move to TX myself. I was thinking about Austin or Houston (I have a friend who lives there). So far, I have not had the guts to just pick up and go. Like the posts above, I envy that of you.
Good luck!
Welcome to the South. Your neighbors in Arkansas send you a welcome! I wish I were that spontaneous. I’ve come terribly close to picking up and moving. I had an apartment decided upon, bags packed, but didn’t go. I regret it. So here’s to no regrets! Cheers!
Congratulations Fish. I left NYC for 9 months, moved to San Diego and realized that NYC is where I’m meant to be. I’m much happier here the 2nd time around and don’t mind the prices, crowds, etc. now that I truly appreciate how much NYC has to offer. Enjoy your time in Dallas but hurry back!
Ummm, I’m kinda jealous. I want to be spontaneous!
Wow. I’m stunned.
Congratulations on an exciting step in your life!
I think you should move to Wyoming and become a lesbian cowgirl instead.
You’ve got balls…big ones!
You have to make yourself happy and this seems to be it at the moment, so I guess Congratulations are in order.
Congrats!
Remember everything in Texas is bigger and better. Let’s hope that true when it comes to the men.
Wow, congrats! I’m envious of your change and I’ve been contemplating one myself for some time now. There’s just that whole thing of having a j-o-b that I have to contend with. I’d love it if, in the coming days and weeks as you trasition, if you’d share how you did it. I think I just need some good advice and motivation to make my move.
Thanks for the inspiration, Heather.
There’s nothing more difficult to understand than Southern Men. I can’t wait to hear the stories!
Rumor has it that Texas is chock full of Cowboys, which in and of itself is a fabulous reason for a temporary stay. But on top of that – my brief stint in North Carolina taught me that nothing makes you appreciate life above the Mason Dixon line than life below it! Sounds like an awesome adventure!!
Wow, what a move! You are so brave!
two words: southern gentlemen.
you’re gonna get married.
watch.
Good luck! I wish I had your sponteneity. Enjoy it.
Congratulations! From a former Dallasite, two words – Mi Cocina. Best. Margaritas. Ever.
Can’t wait for the book!
Best of luck, and I’m sure NY will miss you! Being a native, I’m not sure I’d know how to function anywhere else. Um, literally. But I do hear that leaving can be a wonderful thing. A friend recently moved to Denver and now rents a HOUSE for about the same amount of dough for a pricey NYC studio.
That’s wonderful, Fish! I hope you find everything that you’re looking for in Tx. And what you don’t find, I hope you find it when and if you go back the NY. Best of luck with your book, I can’t wait to read it. I too, hope you don’t stop blogging! I’m not able to come on here often but I would certainly miss your writings if you weren’t here.
elbee, I’m in Charleston, SC so if you need someone to call on, just let me know. A dedicated reader of “Fish” is ok in my book.
Beaches AKA Sue
Is G going with you?
She called the e€“mail, “The Big D.”
Of course I was disappointed when I learned it wasn’t about me.
Sigh.
In 2001, I went to Austin for a conference, was offered a job, returned to Seattle, gave my notice and moved down south all within a month. So I, too, share your fondness of making big life decisions on a whim. There’s definitely something to be said for spontaneity!
I lived in Austin for 5 years before I felt the need to return to my beloved Seattle…again on a moment’s notice. I’ve been back for over a year now, and damn, do I miss that Texas heat.
Safe travels, best of luck with your book (can’t wait to read it!), and I hope you enjoy every moment.
Just one more GOOD LUCK sent your way. I too was wondering if you were the reference in Ari’s post. Soooo excited for the book. Enjoy all the upheaval!
Nice. Come on down to Texas. I’m in Austin and love it. If you’re still reading all the comments, then I wish you well in Texas. I look forward to your book. I think it would be a trip to meet you and Stephanie for margs somewhere in Austin. It must be Iron Cactus north. I’ll buy!
Like Scarlet said, I wish I could be spontaneous like that. Spontaneity for me is calling in sick to work and seeing a movie at the theaters instead. I admit, it’s liberating. Good luck with Dallas. I think you will like it and I’m sure it will like you.
Welcome back to paradise, sweetie!
Stock up on birth control. ’cause I personally found that the way Texas like to replentish the state population is to ‘add to the herd’. So to speak.
And if you meet a tall, slim Dallasite who loves acrobatic flying and teeensy italian greyhounds —- RUN. [wink]
best of luck to you! and while you blog from Tejas, do capture the draaaaawl, would ya? You’re so sweeeeeet!
Wow – what a shock! I was surprised to hear about your move…but how exciting! Good for you…have a great time!
Wow…I just made the decision to move from Indiana to Texas myself! I’ve been getting the “What are you thinking?!?!” reaction quite a bit but I’m happy with my decision. I wish you lots of happiness in your new location! Can’t wait to read about it!
We think alike. My first thought for you was, “Yayy! New men!” hehe. Bon voyage!
Whenever someone leaves the UES, the angels cry…or something like that. I left NYC a year ago this month, after 12 years. It’s been VERY hard to adjust to not being there! Luckily I get the NY Post AND the NY Times delivered to my door every morning. GOOD LUCK!
Teach me your ways wise one.
Seriously. Can you write a manual or something? Please?
Congratulations! Now you’ll be close to your family.
Congratulations on the book (!!), and good luck in a new place. New York and I broke up about two years ago. It’s such a great thing to do, especially when it’s not permanent. Keeps things exciting, after all.
if you’re half broke how can you afford to move? DO you even have a job there?
My job is mobile. I can keep my job and work anywhere.
wow shocked! That is so great that your job allows for that, and great on the book too!!
Congrats and good luck.
Wow…welcome to Texas and especially Dallas! I’ve lived here for 3 years (after living in NY for 2)…what funny timing b/c I’m moving BACK to NYC in the coming months and was thinking of emailing you to hang out! Is that weird? Haha, anyway if you’re looking for a group of fiesty, smart, fun group of girlfriends–look me up!!
Welcome back home Heather, Dallas has missed you. Temporary or not, “we” shall enjoy our time together! And see, now that my favorite single blogger chick is back in D town, I’ll be able to shake my head and say “yeah, I know exactly what she’s talking about!” Texas men are a species all their own – and that’s a good thing!
Do it! Do it! Do it! I am moving from the town that I love for grad school. Another wonderful “valid” excuse for the non-committed lifestyle.
Congrats! I can’t wait for the book – I love this blog – I am sure I will love the book.
Congrats!
I admire the guts to pick up and move. I’m so sick of NY myself, i’m moving to ATL this summer and going back to school since I don’t like the path my career is going currently.
Good luck and keep blogging!
“Your going to the Big D and do mean Dallas”
How exciting!!
I’m already looking forward to the book:)
I can’t wait to visit! I can’t wait to visit!
Seriously, Ari and I should come down for a proper Cinco de Mayo. Maybe then we won’t end eating Italian like last year!
Oh! I just looked on the calendar…it is a Saturday. Will you be ready for visitors?
I second that notion H. Tex, Mi Cocina margaritas will have you seeing the world through lime colored shades.
For the past 8 months I’ve been on a temporary stay in Greensboro, NC. I moved from LA. Best wishes for you on the book and the debt. Dallas is a fantastic city for twenty-somethings, I’ve lived there too.
Congratulations on your big move, Fish!
First of all, I ADORE Dallas and hope that you will too. The people are so nice there!
Lots of big country outside of town pretty much compels you to breathe deep and relax.
Secondly, I just wanna say that you’re picking up and moving just like *that* is inspirational. I’m awed and envious. I’d love to be able to pack up and move whenever I needed or wanted to…lots of people want to do it, but either can’t or won’t. GOOD FOR YOU for taking the bull by the horns and just going for it!!
Best of luck!!
Wow…..I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this. Can we discuss it?
Good luck, little lady. (spoken with a Texan accent)
ah! think of the (non) winters!
no boots or mitts or hats or scarves or snow!
Congrats Fish!!
Moving to TX will definitely change your perspective on NY (either for the better or the worse). It’s awesome that your job is portable. I’ve moved several times (OH, TX, NJ) and it is always an adventure. The hard part for me was finding the job to finance the move…lol
Good luck with everything…and I will keep and eye out for your book.
Dallas? Dallas, TEXAS? Hmm … OK. But it gives me the crawlies … JFK, etc.
Florence is one of the world’s great cities (along with San Francisco and Paris). Go soon. Mykonos is heaven, only with better food and wine. To ease the pain of missing Dallas.
Never got to Prague.
Best of Luck on your move! Here’s to you, and hoping you find what you’re seeking! Cheers!
Wouldn’t it be a treat to see you on ESPN2 at 3 AM riding a bull in the rodeo. Isn’t Texas grand? I expect you to get a set of stear horns and put them on the front of your car. If you don’t have a car, I expect you to put them on Hal.
Coincidence?… I’ve been longing for a scene change for a while, and just can’t bring myself to make a decision. Looking for answers to another question, I hit up iVillage… and happened to see your blog. As much as I’m in love with my friends and location, there’s a part of me nagging to move on. Thanks for your inspiration.
Change can be a wonderful thing. Much success I wish you there. I remember being in Dallas for about 12 hours, one August. I woke up at 4 in the morning to catch an early plane, and it was a cool 85 degrees out. I hope Sir Hal doesn’t melt. So, I’ll stop looking around for you when i go to NYC. Philadelphia awaits you on your return.
I’ve lived in Texas for quite awhile, and I’m actually itching to get out of here for grad school in about 2 years. My parents still live in the DFW area and that’s why I go visit so much, but Dallas itself is such a great city (even after all of the moving around, I’ll probably end up back in Dallas). I hope you get what you need from your temporary stay.
Good luck, Fish; I hope the move brings adventure and great happiness, but remember that you are always welcome here in NY.
MYKONOS. Are you really going? Have you been before? Two summers ago, I lingered, loved and lived it up on Mykonos. If you can, try to get to Agios Sostis and Agios Ioannis. And, if you’re in Chora, and you run into a cute dark-haired waiter named Siki, tell him I said hello. Have fun in Dallas! I love the impulsive move
your blog sounds a little Sex and the City-ish. I remember a blog you wrote about someone using a post on their myspace page. This is sort of along those lines.
Wow. Drastic. Isn’t that what vacations are for? I’ve had my share wanting to stab Tokyo in the eye, but it’s amazing what a little vacation can do. In the end there’s no other place I’d rather be than here. To each their own I guess. Have fun!
Um…. huh? I guess I haven’t watched enough Sex and the City to have seen one about hating New York and moving to Dallas. And how that relates to plagiarism, well, you might just have to elaborate.
We’ll be neighbors. Look me up….I know all the good coffee places.
the stars at night, are big and bright.
Hmm. That’s quite a trade, there. I reckon you are familiar with the Metroplex already, so I won’t kibitz. Actually, a friend of mine did the same thing, after doing lots of research, and just up and moved to Dallas. She was worried about her political sensitivities, but she ended up meeting and marrying a cool guy who makes her happy.
Good luck to you– I hope you keep writing.
Congratulations on the move to Texas! And since I’m in Austin, it will be wonderful having you as a neighbor. Oh, and, don’t worry about trying to understand Texas men. We’re all pretty easy going and easy to get along with. You’re going to have a great time in the Lone Star State!
Sorry, I’m too lazy to read all the comments, so it’s likely someone else has said this already but ever time I click through the iVillage blogs and see the first line of this post all I can think of is Ross on “Friends” screaming “WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!” Haha.
Congratulations and best of luck to you!!
Fish, how are you going to meet Detective Stabler now?
Welcome back to the Big D!! I love it here and wouldn’t trade it for anything (and I lived in San Francisco at one point). Please let me know if you need any advice on where to go for fun via blogging. And let me be the first to say howdy, again!
What’s the deal with all of my favorite bloggers moving to Texas? You’re #3 in less than a year. How exciting!
Good luck in Dallas, don’t forget to come to Austin once in a while to check out the awesome music scene.
Welcome back to Texas!!! I have never commented before, but I love your blog. I am a fellow Texan and would love the chance to experience New York, but Texas has a way of holding on to your heart. Hope you enjoy your Temporary stay and I can’t wait for the blogs regarding it! Howdy Yall.
Um…I hate feeling out of it.
What does UES stand for?
Sorry, that’s code for Upper East Side.
How exciting. If you get down to the Houston area and have time, maybe we can do coffee. Welcome Back to Texas!!!
Yay!
Temporary or not, we in Dallas are glad you’re coming back!
Can’t wait to read the adventures…who knows? We might cross paths on Greenville, Knox Henderson or somewhere Uptown.
Let me know if you want the list of names – the ‘Dallas Men to Avoid at All Costs’. Yes, there IS a list.
And – I don’t know what is in the air around here, but just about EVERYONE I know is falling in love and getting married…so guard your heart, Fish!
Welcome back to Dallas. Don’t forget to come over to Fort Worth every now and then. Great museums and parks, awesome movie theaters downtown, and Fuzzy’s Tacos!!!! I moved here from Austin a couple of years ago after moving to Austin from L.A., and I love it. Don’t believe that whole Cowtown/Bastard Stepchild of Dallas thing.
Wow, both Fish and Greek in Texas. Who would have ever believed it? H, when you’re in Prague visit the Moser glass museum/factory. There are some special 150 year anniversary celebrations going on. PS, my last name is Moser and yes, it’s my family’s business
Congratulations!! As someone who often gets unbelieving stares when I say that I will likely leave the San Francisco Bay Area at some point in the (near) future, I can imagine the (far more stank-eye) looks you’re getting from those who know and love you in NYC!
Good for you! Enjoy a place where your paycheck will stretch, and you can (as I understand it) get from place to place without horrendous traffic!!
Wow! Hope the temporary new environment brings you the insight, fresh air and perspective you’re looking for. Standard of living cant be beat, true. don’t forget to check out old mckinney (spell?) which I only discovered the month I left Dallas, and Canton once-a-mth flea mkt (love it). Still, NY will miss you.
Keep writing and share them stories of the cowboys we fantasize about
I didn’t see enough of them, but I am not a writer, nor a very good observer, so look forward to re-seeing TX from your eyes 
Happy travels!! All the best.
From This Fish: I actually grew up in McKinney, perhaps I need to see it from an outsider’s perspective to appreciate it.
NY will miss you. Congrats
Hope to hear all about the big D from your vantage point. In my short stint there (2 years -is that short?) i did miss Canton monthly flea mkts, Old McKinney (only discovered in my last mth), the strange strange diner (Mecca) with all the pick up trucks in the lot. I wasn’t as successful in finding my cowboy, but my observational skills were always a bit challenged, so I hope you will find plenty of sweet Southern boys with killer abs, so you can share fresh new Southern stories with all of us who will miss your NY writings.
All the best!
Fish, wishing you the best in your fishbowl relocation. Y’all.
Have you been reading my blog? Because it sounds more than vaguely reminiscent of my “Goodbye LA” post.
Good luck with your move. I too am moving from sunny Singapore to cold cold Calgary. I can so relate with your affair with NY, as great as this little island called Singapore is I’ve had it for now.
Good luck! ohhh and I just love your blog.
WHAT??!! How impulsive!! I’ve never been to Texas but I know the rifles hand hang out of trucks there. WOWOWOWOW!
I did the exact same thing (for similar reasons, it seems) two years ago, except I left a teensy studio on the UWS. Now I’m headed back to NYC!
I’m more than jealous. I’ve been trying to get back to the land of big haired women since I left for the Army in 1997. Good luck.
You are coming to Dallas?? Let’s have drinks! Not a stalker, just a lover of meeting new people. What part of town are you living in? I am in Addison, and I love the area, but I am always looking for new places to try! Good luck with the move!
congratulations on the big move! i’m catching up on the archives.
i’ve lived in north dallas (well, las colinas), and i’m living in austin now, which is awesome! it’s only 3 hours away, if you want to find out where all the fun in texas is! 
seriously, good luck here and on the book!
Awesome…you’re going to be in my city