Going away parties are an exquisite kind of torture. The exquisite part : (almost) everyone you love is in the same place for a few glorious hours. The torture part: they’re there because soon you won’t be.
Saturday night, I put aside my stress, put on my red goin’ out shoes (the only non-schlubby footwear that hadn’t been packed away or shipped express to my mother) and met my friends at a Union Square bar for a last hurrah. Aside from the fact that I nearly broke down in blubbery tears at least a dozen times, the party was a complete success. Actually, I don’t think it could have been such a success without all the near-tears.
It was my first night off of narcotics (who never wants to see Vicodin ever again?), and in order not to deprive my system of potentially toxic substances, I got pretty tipsy in short order. What I’m saying is, some of the night is pretty hazy. Just the way I like it.
A few things I do remember:
My drunk and gallant Biscuit disco-spinning me
Sarah’s mixed CDs (they’re legendarily awesome, people)
Goldner’s belly. We saw a lot of it.
So. Many. Hugs.
The post-party drunk texting. I take it back, Stan. You’re not extra Degrassi for going home to make out with your pillow.
Evil plotting with Ari and Laura. It’s what we do best.
Justine’s boob
That there was NO ONE to make out with. Probably better that way.
I woke up Sunday morning hung over and ready to reclaim my stress. And really freaking sad. The leaving, it is hard – lump in the throat hard.
Remember that song you learned in Brownies? Okay, remember that song I learned in Brownies? The one about new friends being silver and the old ones gold? I think, in my case, diamond-encrusted platinum might be a little closer to describing the people I’ve come to love over the last few years. Even my imaginary friends were never this loyal or imperfectly perfect. I get this heavy feeling in the center of my chest when I think about leaving them. But things change. They just do. And as one friend said, we’ll keep in touch over this here typey thing; it’ll be like I never left.
Because right now, it’s all about kidding myself.
Wishing you lots of luck and happiness in your new venture.
Good luck with the move – sometimes that’s what it takes to give us new perspective and it sounds like that’s what you’re seeking.
And the worst that could happen is that you move back to NY or somewhere else! Hurray for mobility!
Without this here typey thing, none of my friends in Singapore and I would still be that strongly in touch so take comfort in that – you’re so not kidding yourself.
But, it does take effort and work, not gonna lie.
Best of luck!
So proud of your bravery! I’ve cried my way through every major (and in the end, crucial) change I’ve ever made in my life. That’s how you know you’re living, when it scares the hell out of you!
Very proud of the Fish!
Love you.
You could have made out with my belly button.
Thanks for the foreshadowing of my month of June, when I flee from my diamond encrusted platinums of Seattle. It is so scary to think about and so wonderful to hear it described so perfectly.
It’s funny, I don’t even know you but I’m going to miss you living in New York and I’m going to miss your friendventures too. Good luck with the move!
Safe travels to you & Sir Hal. Glad I don’t know you IRL because I hate saying goodbye. In fact, if you hadn’t told the netz that you’re relocating, we’d never even have known!
I was so sad about leaving LA after spending 3 years there and making incredible friends. But, like you, I left for a reason. It was time to get out of LA and to move closer to my family. I still keep in touch with my closest friends – email is incredible that way. And best of all – I met my fiance in my new city!
Good luck in TX.
I’m finding myself ultra weepy too.
Ari – take comfort in these two words…
Road Trip.
The only sad part of that is although Heather is the destination she misses all the evil to be had on the drive down.
Then again, the car might be too smokey for her!
(Throat goiters!)
Just remember the second verse of the Brownie’s song… “A circle’s round and never ends that’s how long I hope you’ll be my friend.”
Your vacation from NY will be exciting, and you know you’ll have a soft spot to land and the comfort of NY coffees and subways and friends when you come back to it.
I remember that song from Brownies…
You really will keep in touch. I still talk to Emily every single day. Sometimes twice.
To comment on the traveling with pets question – I have traveled with my 15lb dog – and all the security/plane people were fantastic! My mother has always traveled with her small dog – with no problems (do note, she flew out of NY and Newark airports about 15 times a year).
I am happy for you. I lived in NY for 22 years and have lived in WI for 10 now… If you really prefer it, you can move back… and you just may find you don’t miss it that much. The cool thing is your life is up to you…
Hakuna Matata!
It sounds touching, and not even being able to move to a state with loose open container laws can weaken the squeeze it puts on your heart…well, maybe a little.
You have an interesting way with words. I enjoyed (reading) listening….
This one gave me the chills…not the bad-feeling kind of chills, but the “I am feelin’ that description” kind of chills. Perhaps because I will likely be doing something similar at the end of ’07 but more likely because y-o-u are a fabulous writer! Good luck Fish; bright, bright shade-wearing days ahead for you!
As someone who moved away from everything they had ever known and/or loved after 16 years, I identify. But buck up! There are cool kids like me here in Dallas, and while we might not be the friends you have made thus far… who couldn’t use a few more!
I have done ‘the big move’ and back… it was hard but worth it! Good luck with your fabulous new adventure!
Kelly
Don’t be afraid, you can do this. And you’ll love it. And your old friends will still love you and your new ones will too.
aw, that is sad! if it were me, i would have actually gotten very teary multiple times. you are so brave for moving and everyone will miss you out here! i’ve also done a move-across-the-country (several, actually), and it sure is an adventure, if nothing else. i know i’m looking forward to hearing about all the adventures awaiting you down south! best of luck with the move.
so – i just moved back to sf from london and totally know what you are going through. one thing not to worry about (which was my biggest stress) is sending your cat on a plane. mine had an 11 hour flight, and was completely fine. i wasn’t even there to pick him up as they wouldn’t fly him on the weekend with me – he went to my mom’s with her 2 dogs, and he just strolled out of his carrier, jumped on my sisters lap and started purring. so much stress for me, but he was a perfect little adaptable guy, and his personality is still the same! don’t worry…
Why is it that Brownies is the only group we remember? I know there was something BEFORE Brownies. And there was certianly something AFTER Brownies (for anyone who hadn’t smartened up enough to drop out like me). I guess it is just like the real brownies…nothing else is really important enough to remember.
you are going to love texas…and it will all be ok, especially when your friends come for a visit and you make them wear a cowboy hat…
You will miss the city, your friends and all kinds of great stuff, but you have new adventures ahead. And speaking from personal experience, moving away from friends is never easy, but good friends tend to stick around no matter how many miles apart you are. Good luck!
Good luck Heather. I wish you the very best.
-j
I’d give you a hug if I could, but you might be all hugged out. This was me a few months ago and I got a bit mroe than tipsy, which was great when I tried to check into the airport in that half drunk/half hungover/completely out of it state. oh, and the guy next to me during the ride was worried since i was sobbing and offered to talk to me about it if i wanted. i ordered a bloody mary and kept crying. the suburbs of LA and not finding my fit with friends seems to not help the fact that i miss Chicago and some of my favorite people in the world every single day. but that’s life. i deem my move as against my will but completely necessary. i’m sure yours, although willingly, is a slight change of plans as well.
to be honest, you’ll realize you never loved the internet more.
“Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold”
I love my Brownie troop, they are women in training! Good luck on your move.
Aww, Heather, you are being brave. I too picked up and moved across the country- once at 23, and once again at 31. I think you are making a good choice. Also, if you marry a sexy Texan, you will have family nearby to care for your babies. That is so very important, and one point I missed along the way. Because I just can’t go live in Michigan to be with family. It’s not my life anymore. For now, New York isn’t.
You should marry Mike. He always has the best comments.
Was your DJ Ultragrrrl? I just drunk text message a hottie bar tender I was jonesing for ending on “Did you check out my J”, as if to infer JDate or joint. What I really meant to say was “Did you check out the cuts on the album I produced with the James Brown influences”. I hate texting.
Make new friends, but keep the old… then introduce the new to the old, and everyone gets to get pretty hazy.
Good luck on your new adventure. Distance means nothing to true friends. This I know.
I’m right here for ya, H. Maybe a little bling will help? I gave you a cheesy award today, as if you need more props. It’ll look good on your Texas-sized mantle. So much for our NY rendezvous….
good luck with the move fish. i moved to a whole new country last month and it still breaks my heart (and makes me weepy) when i thk of the people i left behind.
Chok dee (good luck in Thai) on your travels! Congratulations on following one of those ‘aha’ moments…they have taken me many wonderful places and the people that have made it special are with me wherever I go! Enjoy the journey!
I, too, want to add my best wishes to you here, Heather! I’m sure all will go well for you down there in Texas, especially since you’ll be closer to your family… I moved across the ocean to France almost 5 years ago, and although it was my dream to do so, and it has made me stronger in some ways, I sometimes desperately miss my family. My bestest friend in the world lives in New Orleans, and no matter what the distance is, we still pick up where we left off when we see each other, no matter how long or how far it has been…
And I was a Brownie too… That’s a song that I guess we never, ever forget.
That there was NO ONE to make out with. Probably better that way.
I was just thinking that today…
I only took 3 pictures and even I have one of Goldner’s tummy.
Miss you, love you and see you again. Someday, someway!
There seems to be something in my eye. I’m pretty sure it’s not a tear. Positive in fact, because there’s a reason curmudgeonly old farts like myself are curmudgeonly old farts: it’s so we don’t get all misty hearing about this sort of thing.
This fall I’m going to be giving up a job I’ve had since 1988 to move to Australia, so maybe that’s why I’m most definately not crying. Mind you I’ll have a shiny new baby at that point and our wedding reception is also going to be our going away party so I think I’ll have it a bit easier than you. Sleep deprivation will help, right?
I hear ya – I’m shipping out of South FL on May 16 to scary/unknown South Carolina and the goodbye dinners have already begun. I don’t even have a jay oh bee there yet, but off I go! Good luck fish! When do you leave?
Lindsay – he does, right? But he’s married.
I’m leaving for ATL in a month or so & I’m sooo not looking forward to my goodbye party either. I plan on getting drunk, that goes without saying but just to see everyone in one place will make me so dang on sad.
They say people only get together for Weddings and Funerals, but it’s more like Good Wishes and Goodbyes and thats what this definitely is.
Good Luck in TX
Did you say ‘Degrassi’? That is so funny. I left Canada 2 years ago to live in Europe and now I’m back. Although leaving is sad now, there is definitely much happiness awaiting you at home. Best of luck.
I’m terrible at goodbye. I miss you.