The Scotts and I were on our way to the mall for appropriate Meeting the Parents outfits (I was there on a consulting basis, only; I didn’t think Scott’s mother was ready to meet his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s girlfriend. Not in the same night, anyway). My phone rang and the screen announced it was my very pregnant Torrie calling.
“Are you in labor?” I asked without bothering to say hello. I was only half serious, but all the way hopeful.
“Yes, actually, I am.”
I’ll do you all a favor and omit the part of the conversation with all the squealing and ‘oh. my. god!’s. Suffice it to say, I was just really, really excited. I was about to be a Half Mommy.
Several months ago, when I was Lamaze breathing through kidney stones, I announced to the world that if the pain was anything like the pain of childbirth, I wasn’t having anything to do with it. Ever. No siree, no babies for me. Which is really a shame, since babies and I get on very well. Babies, I think, are like dogs. Or cats. If they sense you’re a dog/cat/baby person, the dog/cat/baby automatically likes and trusts you. No hoops to jump through, no need to prove yourself capable of a one-handed diaper change, or produce a library of silly, yet soothing lullabies. Baby knows you got that covered, because Baby can smell it on you. Like a pheromone.
Anyway, being in possession of that pheromone, it was sort of a shame to give up on babymaking altogether. But, seriously, the pain!
“You can share mine,” Torrie offered. Torrie is a really good sharer.
And so I began preparing to be a Half Mommy. A silent partner in a baby timeshare. Okay, maybe not so silent. I butted in a bit, gave my opinion about the baby’s name, stocked the baby library with my favorite childhood books, supplied Torrie with Three Musketeers bars, and waited.
Nineteen hours after Torrie called, baby Willa Elizabeth was born. I can’t tell you how thrilled I was – or how anxious, with Torrie being without Interweb or phone for days after. And now that I’ve finally seen a picture of the wee bairn? Still thrilled and pretty sure that I’m going to have to get my ass on a New York bound plane before she gets too big to fit in my purse. You know, for an easy getaway.
Ladies and gents, Miss Willa Elizabeth.
Congrats half mommy! Does this mean you get half a cigar?
Awww! How cute! How exciting! Congratulations to Torrie & you for becoming a half mommy!
Congrats! I’m with you on the pain thing… but I love babies(!) so maybe someday I’ll adopt. I think adoption was made for those of us who have no tolerance for pain.
Half Mommy Congratulations! She is gorgeous. Way better than a kidney stone…
Congrats! I tried to comment earlier but it didn’t work… anyway, for those of us who love babies but have no tolerance for pain… we should really consider adopting.
Aside from my own two daughters of course, this girl is stunning!
So fill us in on your consulting the Scotts. I’m sure there is humor to read on that subject…
what a gorgeous baby
Your other timeshare baby misses you. She wanted to show Miss Heather something this weekend..awwww BTW, I found a lizard in the backyard on Sunday too. HA
Ha! Lesson learned: Never tell a 3 year old her choices for dinner are lasagna or lizards, if you can’t actually produce a lizard. Who knew she’d choose lizards?
I’ve been lurking for awhile, but I have to come out of the closet to say what a beautiful baby! She’s a perfect little cupcake of a baby. Congratulations to you all.
YAY congrats! Babies are wonderful (even if they are painful in coming)
Maybe you can be a half-mom to some of the ducks at the running pond. You know – give them some bread ends and such. I hear the cost of having kids is well over $250K by the time they reach 17.
Awww… I love babies. I think your half-mommy plan is the way to go.
Fish – epidural!
I am delurking to say: you are soooo right! I was at my alma mater this weekend for reunion and was surrounded by young alums and their chubby little babies. My friend struck up a conversation with one alum (who happened to be a doctor)who was playing with her six-month old and she explained that babies are like pets in that they can sense whether or not you like them. Anyways, enjoy your half-motherhood!
Epidural is absolutely the way to go. I had two with my son after natural childbirth with my daughter. Anyways, she is a beautiful little girl. Congrats! I have a friend that I am Half Mommy to her little boy, who is two, and one due in Aug. I’m excited. My babies are 11 and 6. By the way, I’ve been lurking for a while but I love your blog. Some days it has me laughing out loud!
Babies and I don’t get on that well. BUT…she. is . beautiful.
So precious. My co-worker had a baby boy on Saturday and he’s absolutely adorable. I have two friends who are due to give birth in the coming weeks – though they don’t know what they’re having. Baby fever this time of year, I tell ya!
You’re so right about that baby pheromone – and I don’t have it! I can’t even bribe children to come near me. On the rare occasion they actually do, I have no idea how to interact with them. I’m a good kitty-mom, so I’m hoping I have some buried maternal instinct that will surface if I decide to be a human-mom. Or I’ll just stick to the cat. Think of all the money I’ll save on college.
Congrats on the beautiful half-baby!
Yay!! You officially get to celebrate half of Mother’s Day next year!
SHe’s beautiful! And… “wee bairn”? Have you been reading Diana Gabaldon lately? Next you’ll be talking about the dirty clouts she produces
I hope you’re not right about people being ‘baby’ people just as they are cat or dog people. You see I’m definitely not a baby person. Hand me a child and they’ll immediately start to cry. I never wanted anything to do with them and the little blighters could tell.
But now that we’re into the third trimester things are changing. Shrieking children don’t seem to set my teeth on edge anymore. I find myself going out of my way to talk to kids. I fear how far this will go. Fear it enough that I’ve made a deal with a buddy: If I become one of those parents who can’t have a coversation without turning it to how great their kid is he’s to stage an intervention. At gun-point if necessary.
Congrats on the half-mommyhood. I’m with ya on the pain issue, every time I think about birth I thank god for my Y chromosome.
Thanks everyone!
Fish- Willa could not ask for a better half mommy. I can’t wait until you get to meet her.
Quite possibly the prettiest baby EVER! And I thought my niece could not be beat…
Wow! The baby is beautiful. My daughter was born on the same day about 45 minutes later, but 3 years earlier. LOL. She weighed the same and was the same length. I think May 15th is a great day to have a child, sinc Willa and Adrianna (my daughter) are both so beautiful.
Who put lipstick on the baby?!!?
There are the pretty babies that come into this world, and the not-so-pretty. Fortunately, Willa is one of the pretty babies! So cute, and such a great name. Very vintage, for lack of a better word
never too soon to start calling her “Ms”
She is absolutely gorgeous!!
She is a very lucky little girl to you in her life.
Oh goodness that baby is tooooo cute! She’s the definition of precious. And you know how much I hate children.
Half-congrats!
I became a step-step grandma on the 2 days ago. I got a step-congrats.
The pain isn’t SO bad. You could do it.