Neil and his nine-year-old nephew came over for dinner last night. I’d made chicken curry for the grown-ups, pizza for the palatably unrefined, and then put on Shrek while I threw together some (homemade, of course) brownie sundaes. With strawberries and chocolate sauce. In my nine-year-old world, that would have been dinner party success. But, apparently, I was dealing with a much savvier breed of youngster.
“The place looks great,” Neil said, as they were heading out.
“Yeah, not too much hair.”
Amused, I looked over at the nephew, digging the toe of his sneakers into the carpet as he waited by the door.
“What do you mean?” I asked him.
“Most women are real hairy,” he explained. “It’s everywhere.”
I nodded, understanding. “Well, it’s a good thing I vacuumed then, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
We said our good-byes and I closed the door behind them, still laughing. I was glad to have passed inspection (if only by a hair*) but man, who knew kids were so picky? I thought pizza and too much sugar would do it, not my OCD Hoovering. Kids today? They pay attention to detail.
I have a playdate with his four-year-old sister next week. I should probably see about getting my eyebrows waxed and my nails done. Otherwise, my extensive knowledge of Dora the Explorer will have been for naught.
* Oh, come on. I had to.
Do you suppose the savy little guy knows about your bikini waxing on the couch?
Ha! I’ll have the Interweb know that I sat on a TOWEL and was wearing a bathrobe. All precautions taken.
That is too funny… kids DO say the darndest things!
that was so random. The kid seriously paid attention to HAIR? I know little kids pay attention to beauty (at summer camp they always like the ‘pretty’ counselor), looks, and such but I never knew they might specifically look for hairiness!
you can’t get anything by them, unfortunately. Things that have been said to me by non-related kids: “Your veins get big when you talk.” “Let me see that tooth. It’s sort of yellow.” “Why are your boobs so big?”
Jen,
I feel compelled to ask that last question myself sometimes, and I’m 32. Boys never change.
HA! And thus women hold the power…
I’ve been reading your blog for a few days, and I’m thoroughly enjoying your writing style and topics of choice. I went back and read some of your early stuff (very early — 2002, 2003) and can I just say I’m so glad you don’t write that way anymore? I would have stopped reading after two entries. You watched Bridget Jones one too many times, didn’t you?
This is exactly what makes interacting with kids so risky…you just never know what they’ll notice or what they’ll blurt out. But take a victory when you can get it…you’re not too hairy!
Yes, but we kill the spiders.
Laura,
It’s a medical fact that agnst makes people type like they are British. One should know that, shouldn’t one?
I find agnsty, 2nd person pronoun Fish endearing.
And I’m posting way too much. Bye.
Wow. Kids are hilarious! Yeah, you should seriously consider getting those nails done before you see your niece.
I’m with Mike on this one. So, even though the Interweb will never find out if the post bikini wax was worth all the trouble, I’m glad to know there was a towel and a bathrobe =)
Here’s a word of Spanish I learned from Dora – “Vamanos – c’mon everybody let’s go. I know that we can do it, so c’mon let’s get to it.” In-house acronym OCD – ‘over-the-counter disaster’. If I were 9 I’d pick your pizza and place over Chucky Cheese any day. Did you know there was a Chucky Cheese conspiracy against the KFC that got shut down in The Village. Good product placement.
One Christmas a few years ago, my then 5 year old cousin pointed to a mark on my face.
“What’s that?”
“Oh, it was a pimple.”
She nodded disapprovingly, and replied with disdain-
“You really need to wash your face every day and night.”
Then matter-of-factly snapped the lid closed on her hand lotion and walked away.
I hadn’t felt that shamed since junior high school.
the kid did say “most women” didn’t he? makes you wonder how many times or how many women’s homes Neil has inspector gadget jr. to. after all, don’t kids that young just speak from experience?
wondering if neil is a potential prospect?
9 year old punk!