Mike from Chicago is my favorite commenter. I’d be surprised, and frankly a little disappointed, if he wasn’t your favorite commenter. He’s wacky and clever and he never corrects my speeling . Er, I mean spelling. What’s not to love? Anyway, for your Monday morning enjoyment, I hereby present Mike with a Lifetime Achievement Award for Commenting, and I present you all with a little Q&A.
First, let’s cover the basics. Name, age, location, and what you want to be when you grow up (I want to be a spy or a pirate).
Age: 31 (going to be 32 this month) Location: Chicago, by way of small-town Michigan. I’m not sure being a grown up is the way I want go, but I pay the bills as a tax accountant in the real estate and luxury hotels industry. Yes, I’m a virtual fireball of excitement, and prior to getting married I had to take Kung-Fu to defend myself from the literal avalanche of women that flock to the industry of tax accounting. You’d be surprised how many hot women like surly, functionally-alcoholic, narcissists with love handles. If I had a nickel for every story and a $1.75, I could ride the bus. However, if I had to do something else, I’d either open a sandwich shop or mow the grass on a golf course. This grown-up shit sucks ass.
You’re my favorite commenter. Ever. Yeah, I know that’s not a question, but I figured I’d give you the chance to say a little something about all that.
Well, I found you, or your blog, in 2003, through a link on a high school friend’s blog. Reading your blog from the beginning, with all the tales about J, it seemed more like a novel. But as that part of your life ended or changed and you focused the blog on yourself, the readers got to see more of your personality. Frankly my dear, you’re a goof, and I dig that about you. You’re also whip-smart. It makes for great writing. I like people that are smart and goofy, because that is what I am. Plus you can’t talk about Magnum with most girls. As for my comments, I just try to crack a joke and see if you get it. I guess parts of this paragraph sound kind of creepy and stalker-like, but I don’t know another way to answer the question.
The Internet thinks we should get married, but as it turns out, you already have a wife. What’s up with that?
What’s up with what? The fact that #1, I’m married or #2, the fact that you and I aren’t an item? For #1 you’d have to confirm with my wife. Let’s just say that a magical Friday night with a few too many Stroh’s beers turned into the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m truly lucky to have her, because if you saw me, you’d understand what it means when the window of opportunity begins to close. Honestly though, she likes me because I’m a kid at heart, I don’t take myself too seriously, and I get a lot of free hotel nights, thanks to my job. As for #2, I’d have to say it’s geography. Based on what I’ve read about you, you’d definitely be someone I’d want to pal up with an cause mayhem with. Also, a great portion of the Internet still lives in it’s mom’s basement and spends a little too much time with the 12-sided dice and not enough time grinding on chicks at the club.
Does this alleged wife know you hang out on a pink blog?
I think I’ve mentioned it. I think most of the best blogs I read are written by women. Plus, I gain little pieces of insight here and there that help me with my relationship with her or might keep me from being a complete Neanderthal. I’ll take all the help I can get when it comes to making her happy. Also, if I’ve learned one thing from women, is that they need guys around to kill bugs and open pickle jars.
Why don’t you have a blog? (or maybe you do and you’re holding out)
I have a blog, but when I started it kind of became part of a network of blogs of my family members, and thus contains personal events relating to other people that are not for public consumption. So, I started another blog where I jot down the dumb stuff that floats into my brain, but I’m not sure it would make sense to anyone. I’m good with an inside joke, not so good a story teller. The weird blog is here. As you can see, it’s weird and I haven’t really kept up on it. I don’t really have a problem being perceived as somewhat “off”. I’ve been told so for a while now. I think I may have posted a retaliatory blog because you made a Nickelback reference in one of your blogs. I may be hallucinating that, though.
Sometimes I picture you with one of those long, thin, sinister mustaches that you twirl while you leave your comments. Do you think in pictures, too?
I think in movies and smells. Before you put your picture on the blog, I had you pegged as a blonde (you are allowed one groin kick for that if we ever meet). Most of my memories actual have motion and I can remember smells from certain days. Like the day I saw The Notebook with my wife smelled like Steven Segal’s tears. When you picture me, please do so after a back wax. Much obliged.
What’s your least favorite word (mine is a tie between ‘fudge’ and ‘moist.’ Though, ‘panties’ is pretty excruciating, too), and your very favorite insult?
That’s easy. Least favorite word: conduit. Favorite insult, from my grandfather, “Sometimes, I think the world is crazy, except for you and me. Sometimes I have my doubts about you.”
I’ll raise my hand as one of the Internet who has publicly commented that you two need to be married and produce hilariously smart and witty babies.
Sadly, Mike seems to love his wife.
However, you at least need to meet and have lunch sometime, if nothing else to test whether you two can be in the same room together and not implode due to some kind of genius overload.
This was a fun spin on your blog – to interview the fav commenter. I like it! Because whether we want to or not, we do have favorites…
What’s wrong with conduit? I really like conduit. However, I don’t like angle-grinder
This was an excellent interview! Really got a kick out of it. I understand what Mike means about not being able to share a story — I can be kinda funny in person, or self-deprecating more than anything else, but I can’t seem to manage to get my humor across in my blog. Oh well! It’s just not my gift.
Semi-off topic…
My sister also hates the words ‘moist’ and ‘panties’. I, however, find it HILARIOUS to walk behind her at the mall whispering over and over “moist panties. moist panties. moist panties”. She turns this lovely shade of red as she gets more upset with me.
Great post. I’m another who must vote for the two of you to get together and meet!
Knowing this entry was coming, I employed Clay Akin like savy and used my new-found celebrity to secure a free donut at Dunkins this morning. Much to my chagrin, I found out that the girl behind the counter neither read your blog or even owned a computer. Furthermore, Mondays are free donut day at my local Dunkin Donuts. Alas, E! will not be calling to do a bio, I fear.
I think I have an e-crush!
Hey Fish, ‘moist’ (eeewyuck!) is one of my cringe words – I have a personal vendetta against it….and everytime I say ‘panties’ I frown.
i too hate the word moist. almost as much as i hate the word fondle.
great post fish!
have to say that i enjoy using the word ‘fondle’ if only to relish the looks i get by using it. it’s not a word that is used commonly… i usually either get sideways glances that say “did she just say fondle?” or giggles. more giggles than sideways glances. what can i say? i’m easily amused.
mike, i’m jealous that mondays are free donut day…i’m positive that is not a standard where i am.
Mike from Chicago IS my favorite of your commenters, and i often love the banter betw you guys in the comments. I always thought you knew him in real life. Thanks for sharing your story Mike (and Fish)!
Congratulations Mike!
Thanks for sharing that interview with us Fish and thank you Mike for allowing Fish to do it!
Great Tell ALL Thursday story btw Fish. Did you ever hit him up about that sweater or did you cut off all contact?!?! I would have been torn to make that decision!
One more reason to love Mike-because he is from Chicago which is one of my favorite places ever. Heck, I’m a Detroiter, my standards are low.
I hate the word moist too. And squat. And sprinkle. All disgusting on their own, but really awful combined. It would make an urgent bathroom break behind a tree somewhere pure torture.
This was a fabulous idea. If someone doesn’t have a crush on Mike “Subtenders” they might be dead inside.
My least favorite word: dump
Ick.
i love how much he adores his wife (i.e., “I’ll take all the help I can get when it comes to making her happy”…and he watched “The Notebook” with her!…::sigh::).
That was Fergalicious. Mike, I hope you start updating your own blog more, I loved the one about the hot dog fingers (what we call: Cop Hands).
is it weird i like the word moist. The M and ST just seem to go together. Tend to like words other people don’t like, sort of like a psychological test.
I thought you were blond as well, weren’t you at some point?
hate me…
I work in an electrical shop and hate conduit – like, the PVC-kind. The word itself doesn’t bother me too much, and neither do moist or panties. I happen to love the word unbeknownst.
Oh, and Mike IS great.
PANTIES is the worst word EVER! On the flip side, flubber is my favorite word ever. haha
Moist is pretty bad, and was my cringe word for along time, then my ex introduced me to the word “chum” (and it’s not used in the hey-i’m-your-friend/pal/chum sense). It’s more like vomit. Except in a less clinical jargon. HATE IT.
I, too, am a fan of Mike’s comments. I appreciate that he references his wife often in his remarks. Interesting.
I admit that I did hope that you two (or you three – wife included) had met in real life. Someday? I hear they have ‘za in Chicago…
Dude- free donuts on Mondays? Which DD is that? Help a Chi-gal out. Or, like Mike, is the donut lore almost too good to be true?
Hi
I can’t remember whose blog I read it on but I’m thinking it was Krissa’s or yours…it was a post or a link about the best things to do in New York that aren’t your typical touristy experiences. Have a friend at work who just won a trip from Australia to New York and she’s looking for an authentic New York Experience. If it was on your blog, any chance you could send me the link? Thanks Heaps…Tan xox
this was a cool thing to do fish. and i agree with my good friend desiree (one of my favorite commenters!)– we do all have some faves, and it’s sweet that you did this interview with one of yours.
tax accountants unite! i just knew mike was in this incredibly fun profession, too.
Best blog interview ever!!!! I’m so going to pay more attention to Mike’s comments now. And maybe backtrack and find them!
Also, I love that you hate the word “Moist.” I have a few friends like that, and the rest of us can’t help but say it with every opportunity. And I’m sure you know, those opportunities – they are aplenty!
Ditto the word moist, I also strongly dislike the word cream. I used to have a co-worker who would use the phrase “massage your data” when speaking with his clients that would make my hair stand on end. Thank God he quit.
Excellent post on Mike the commenter.
so what do the pantie haters call undergarments for your lower half? i call ‘em “undies” but that doesn’t seem sexy…or grown up
Great Interview. My least favorite sound is barefeet swishing against the back of a vinyl car seat. Oh the horror!!
While I love Mike and his comments, his blog seems to take it to a whole new level…
More posting to the Mike Blog!
ahhh! Moist is totally my least favorite word! I didn’t know we had so much in common. (I just physically cringed when I wrote it, as I did when I read it above) My guy friends, and pretty much any aquaintance I have knows this, too, and they use every opportunity they have to use it in a sentence. The lesson being: don’t tell anyone what your least favorite word is. Though I guess now its too late. Happy tuesday!
I like the word moist. The c word I don’t like although it gets used far too much around my agency.
I like the word Soliloquy because it’s so darn hard to spell, but I love the meaning of it!!
who knew “moist” would draw more attention than the entire blog in itself.
add me to the ‘i hate moist and panties and moist panties’ club…
and yet, the c word has no effect on me…
“Sometimes, I think the world is crazy, except for you and me. Sometimes I have my doubts about you.” is a quote from Dracula (the Bela Lugosi movie).
every time i hear the word moist i think of you and how you would cringe. can’t wait til you’re in town. =)