Every day when I’m on the Katy Trail, I make a point of saying hi to the bike cops I pass on my jog. Like, wave and smile and ask how they’re doing. And not because I’m all that friendly. But because, if something bad were to happen to me, I’d want them to remember having seen me. The spastic girl in the bright red t-shirt.
I was telling my cop brother about it today, thinking how truly morbid it sounded when I put it into words, and then a news item came on one of the local channels. About a woman who was severely beaten (broken pelvis, for god’s sake) for her iPod. On the Katy Trail. Less than 20 minutes after I left it.
And then it didn’t seem so morbid at all. It seemed more like what my my brother said – a really good idea to be nice to the people who might someday save your life.
Relatedly, I’m wondering if this means the Katy and I need to start seeing other people/trails. I’ve only felt unsafe there once, and I burned some serious shoe rubber to get to a more crowded section of the trail. Yeah, it was a bad feeling, but this is much more than that. This makes me so angry. I hate the idea that it’s not safe to go out in broad daylight. Especially considering that the Katy is really the only piece of sanity I have right now.
See, I’m not doing so awesome at being home. Not even kind of. I feel aimless and confused and restless. Depressed, I think. With so many hours to fill and no idea of how to fill them, I find myself making elaborate meals, just so I’ll have to spend time cleaning it up. Sad, right?
Yeah, yeah, I know. Get a job. But it’s not that simple. Getting a job – just any old job – would be like giving a falling down house a brand new paint job. It’s not a real solution. So for now, I go on long runs – an activity I’ve somehow parlayed into a reason for getting out of bed in the morning. And if I have to give that up, well, I’m not exactly sure where that will leave me.
Maybe I need a really scary looking dog.
I’m sorry. That really sucks. What happened to her and the ripple effect on everyone else. I don’t have a solution but I hope you find one soon. You’re pretty smart, you know?
Isn’t it sad? They showed footage of her in her hospital bed, getting choked up about how she hopes she can still ride a bike. It made me so sad, and furious.
And, thanks. I hope the smarts win out in the end.
fish! too bad you dont live in chicago my older sister gets bored and makes elaborate meals and goes on long runs …and she even has a scary dog! (but not really she only looks scary she’s actually the nicest husky in the entire world!) but as far as safety is concerned a dog makes good company on a run and definitely helps deter mean guys!
bad consolation prize but there’s always more surveillance AFTER a crime so your trail will be extra protected after this incident.
i used to think my ritzy neighborhood was totally safe and just recently found out there was a mugging 1 block away! i hate the feeling of not feeling safe on my own street!
Was the ISE thing only a temp gig?
That kind of stuff just pisses me off as a woman.
I live alone, in a Texas town of 200,000, in a nice neighborhood. I was sitting in my own backyard reading the morning paper this past June when I looked up and there was a man sitting on the roof of my garage watching me!!! Scared the crap out of me. I was able to run into the house and call the police, but now I don’t even feel safe sitting in my OWN backyard.
This invasion of my space has hampered my outdoor activities as well. I used to ride my bike on a 15 mile loop from my house, but this incident in my yard has made me feel vulnerable.
I followed your wanderings through Europe, I’m a New Zealander living in Belgium these days, and I felt so stuck in the place that I am as I was reading you traveling … your beautiful words about Lucca and etc.
So I had a bit of a crash yesterday, I was between projects and it was just before going out on a freebie photography gig for an NGO in Brussels.
It occurred to me and write that this occasional volunteering my services (selectively) is taking me incredible places that I wouldn’t be seeing otherwise and it’s also leading to some fairly incredible work – being paid to photograph actors, prime ministers and queens.
I just thought I’d write, wondering if you’d thought about working for ngos or volunteering in the areas where your curiousity takes you in these days of freedom … the opportunities that have come from my volunteering have been kind of stunning.
That seems very smart to me. I always chit chat with the security guards and police officers along my route too for the same reason.
I hope you figure out the work stuff soon. I remember that kind of feeling and know how much I hated it too.
Wow. When stuff hits that close to home it can knock the breath out of you, no?
My only suggestions would be: 1. Always let someone know before you run and tell them when you’ll be back. 2. Find someone to run with — safety in numbers and all that.
As for the job, I have to agree with you. Hold out for what your heart wants as long as you’re able.
I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to the young girl on the Katy Trail — please be careful out there! You’re probably wise to change paths for a while at least.
And on the other issue, since you got home: maybe you were really born to roam… And therefore born to travel! It’s pretty clear that the work you’ve been doing in the travel writing department sounds like your true calling — so I’m sure you’ll continue to find fulfillment and reassurance in that domain. Just give it some time!
Good luck. You’ll land an awesome job!
And, yeah, a big dog (who is a lovey-dovey) is always nice; especially to beat depression!
Hey I was all set to say get a dog, but you beat me to it. If you could just borrow a rottweiler to take on your runs, you would have no problem!
Long time reader, first time writer.
Feeling a little under the tuscan sun, maybe?
What a nice welcome back to America and all its “what is wrong with people” issues.
Something great is just around the corner. 2008 is the Chinese year of the Fish!! (Actually it’s the year of the Rat, but pay that no attention.)
But while you’re waiting for 2008, and if you need some extra time-occupying chores, I have a long list here in Indianapolis.
Karen
Long time reader, first time writer.
Feeling a little under the tuscan sun, maybe?
What a nice welcome back to America and all its “what is wrong with people” issues.
Something great is just around the corner. 2008 is the Chinese year of the Fish!! (Actually it’s the year of the Rat, but pay that no attention.)
But while you’re waiting for 2008, and if you need some extra time-occupying chores, I have a long list here in Indianapolis.
Karen
You have post-trip depression. I get that EVERY SINGLE TIME I go abroad (which is a lot). Your days used to be filled with new people, new food, new sites, a new hostel every night, excitement or at least sensory stimulation at every turn, and now you’re home – ho hum. It’s natural and it’ll pass. Just ride the wave and don’t judge yourself too harshly for being down in the dumps a bit.
perhaps a pumped up running partner?
so scary. i love parks and natural places that feel isolated within a city. i hate that i have to be nervous and think about how safe they are.
If you’re doing all these long runs, what about a marathon or a half-marathon Fish?
This is why I want a gun. Yes, it’s a sad commentary on life when you have to pack heat to be safe, but shooting at someone who tries to harm you goes a long way toward alleviating my sadness.
I understand the feeling. There was a recently a string of attacks/sexual assaults in my (generally safe) neighborhood in Chicago, one of which was less than a block from my apartment. They’ve occured at all times of day and are always young women in my neighborhood. It makes me so angry that I can’t safely walk home from a night out or even just a late jaunt studying in the library because some creep is grabbing women. But living alone, in a neighborhood that’s a few miles from where most of my friends live, and considering that it gets dark at 4:30 now, it’s impossible to avoid walking around alone at night. I just watch my surroundings and carry a whistle and hope/pray for the best.
Perhaps you could run through city streets or a more populated area instead of on the trail? Not as relaxing, I know, but perhaps you would feel safer.
Love your blog, by the way. I discovered it a couple of weeks ago and have been reading the archives. Great writing!
Post-awesome-trip depression is truly awful, as is the I-feel-so-aimless depression. I am currently experiencing the latter of these two, for various reasons, and I just wanted to let you know that I commiserate – and I am also doing a lot of baking.
Maybe you find a running partner/get together a group on craigslist, or meetup, or one of those?
And carry pepper spray.
How messed up is it that you have to be a little relieved that it was just a robbery?
So scary, but I relate Fish! My daddy is always so worried about my safety here in NYC, but Dallas is far more dangerous lately.
What’s wrong with cooking elaborate dinners? “Dress for the life you want” in all sense of the words. If you are enjoying yourself, then who cares? I’d give anything for a kitchen that is elaborate meal friendly. Instead of 10″ section of counter…
FINAL SUGGESTION: Be a Dallas/FT Worth Tourist. Go to the 6th Floor Library, The Aquarium, the museums…We always forget to be a tourist in the cities in which we live. And if you need a touring buddy, I’ll be home for the holidays….
Darlin’, that is so rough. The weeks after returning home from a glorious trip can be incredibly rough, especially when stuff at home is not quite where you want it to be. Hang in there – and I too vote for adopting a dog!
We have a dog, and she barks whenever anyone comes near our house. We got her from the pound when she was a puppy. Now she’s nine, and we have two young kids, and she is their protector. I highly recommend having a dog, if it’s at all possible.
If you can’t, what about “borrowing” someone else’s, while you go for your run? Sometimes you can even volunteer to walk shelter dogs. I don’t know if you’d be able to take them running, but at least you’ll both get a little exercise.
Perhaps you should take a self defense course? It is okay to be active alone as a woman, but that awareness can always stand to be refreshed. Maybe this would relieve some of the unease while increasing your safety as well.
Dogs are great too, but you really have to be in for the pet committment, especially with a large (for the scary factor,) active (for the partner factor) dog. I used to walk with a bf’s boxer, and I think people shied away because they mistook him for a pit. It was the first time I noticed this phenomenon. I now have a lab/dane mix and a boxer mix. The lab is huge and black and I think on looks alone turns me into less of a target when we run. I like this bonus, but it really is the life together that I enjoy.
If you don’t want the whole package you can borrow friend’s dogs too. If I had girlfriends who I trusted who needed a running buddy I would gladly oblige. Friend = safer Dog = happy! Good luck kicking the blues away. I know what a bad funk can do, but it will pass!
I can’t believe that…over an iPod, which I’m sure she would have gladly just handed over.
Honestly, my dog is my running companion and even though she’s a lab, people think she is tough because I have a gentle leader on her (which is a strap that goes around her nose but she still has the ability to use her mouth).
I understand about not just getting “any” job. I did that recently to get out of a different bad job and you said it so perfectly with the paint on a falling down house metaphor. Good for you for sticking to what you know…hang in there and something great will come up.
Keep up the running- it always helps me when I feel blue and/or purposeless. Many times in my life it has been the only thing that makes sense- the breathing, the pain, the solitary nature of it all.
Hope you feel better- stay safe.
Just for your safety, I do hope you start seeing someone new… the Katy trail sounds scary! As for the job issue, at least you’re taking your time to figure out what steps to take. I end up hiring people who don’t quite know what they want (even if they seemed to in the interview) and it’s so similar to slapping a coat of paint on their run down house. Doesn’t do much good. Much better to know what you want before you jump in.
I’m sorry you’re in a bad spot–happens to me after trips too, or right after a house full of guests leaves. I seem to wander around aimlessly for a few days before figuring out what my routine used to be. Hope you’ll find your groove soon.
I couldn’t see a link to email you anymore, but I have a question. Any suggestions on nice places to live in Dallas? My husband might be getting a job transfer there and I’ve never been, nor do I know anyone there. Any suggestions for nice apartment complexes or neighborhoods to look in?
Hi Fish:
I live in Philly and the crime is off the charts.
I weigh about 100lbs and my dog weighs 95lbs. People cross the street when he is with me. I highly recommend a big dog!
Be safe, doll!
Hmm… ‘Bama has been eager to go home (down south) for Christmas.
I know of a rescued male rottie that is up for adoption. He’s really sweet, if you don’t mind a wet nose up your skirt as a greeting?! I’m sure he’d LOVE to go for runs with you…
In all seriousness, I agree with you & everyone who has posted. It pisses me off to no end when I hear of incidents such as this. And the people who seem to think they have the right to take something that does not belong to them &/or take a persons freedom like that. I do hope the woman will successfully recover physically AND emotionally. And I hope you find another trail and push past the current blahness. You deserve to be safe and happy.
I was about to recommend that you get a concealed weapon permit and a gun (I have both), but then I got to thinking about you being depressed and figured that you’re probably a whole lot less likely to blow your own brains out with a dog.
As others have stated, it sounds like you’ve got a pretty good case of post-travel depression. Hang in there, you’ll come out the other side of it pretty soon. But then, as you have already realized, it really will be time for you to sit down and figure out something useful to do with your life.
I always read, never comment. In reading your post though I have to say that I feel for you. There seems to be this air of “blah” going around! I hope it passes for you soon, keep your chin up =)
I’m so sorry to hear you’re down. I wish there were something I could do to help you but it sounds like running and cooking elaborate meals aren’t such terrible ways of coping. Hang in there.
I can’t imagine that you read all of these posts, you’re a much better woman than I if you do. Anyway, my suggestion is to volunteer. I don’t get many opportunities to volunteer, but when I do, I take them. I have really enjoyed volunteering with the Latino community in my area and I’ve met people who have connections that I never thought I would be able to make. I find that volunteering (especially with another culture) gives me that same “traveler’s high”, and who knows? You might meet someone who knows someone who knows someone that needs a new employee. (or knows Kevin Bacon) Give it a try!
So, my solution is “Whoop-Ass Mace.” Seriously, that’s what the package calls it. It makes me laugh, but it also makes me feel safer when I have it around. The guy told my parents when they bought it that the problem is, “people just don’t use enough of it. You spray em once with it and when they go down on their knees, you empty the whole bottle on them!”
How do you think Sir Hal would get along with a large dog? just curious. he sounds like he rules the roost over there, he might not be the sharing type.
be careful with the mace/pepper spray when you’re in an area that you go to frequently. if you mace someone, they’re going to be pissed, and if you’re close to home, chances are you could run into them again. if they recognize you they could go after a lot worse than your ipod. just a note of caution. it sucks when you feel like you can’t even try to defend yourself. my advice is a whistle or better yet one of those super loud mini-airhorn type devices.
I saw the article in the Dallas Morning News about the attack on the woman. So I came over to your blog to see if you knew about it. Cities can be scary places but you already knew that having lived in NYC. A big dog, a running buddy and/or some pepper spray aren’t bad choices.
Get a German Shepherd. They are lovable and loyal…and completely intimidating to any passers by. I wouldn’t go on walks if it weren’t for mine!
Awww man! How horrible for the girl..and for you, losing your fave running spot! I like all the suggestions regarding your safety: mace, whistle, running w/ a friends dog. Might I add, wear a shirt that says “Don’t even think about it…” on the front, and “…I WILL kick your ass!” on the back? No?
As for the job…if you don’t have to rush, take your time! Use this opportunity to do stuff you’ve always wanted to do, but couldn’t because of that pesky job! It might even boost your spirits.
Keep your chin (and your dukes) up! I’ll be thinkin’ bout you!
I love the paint job anaolgy. I’m in the exact same spot right now. and p.s. run while aiming an open can of mase for potential attackers.
I know how you feel. I can see the Potomac from my living room window and when I run along it, I can see beautiful views of the monuments . . but I never run on it, because I’m scared to go alone. We don’t even have any police that monitor it. Like you said, it’s such a shame to be scared of going out in broad daylight.
I’m sure you’ve heard Heather, but the hooligans responsible for the attack on Katy Trail were teenagers! Ugh. Mark me down as another vote for carrying mace with you. And/or taking a self-defense class. I’ve thought about doing that very thing myself so if you do sign up for one, let us know what you think.
I think, like everyone else, you should seek out a travel job because obviously the nomad life is in your blood. Follow your heart dear; besides, you’re good at it!
I’m surprised that no one has yet stated the obvious… take a self-defense class. Not only is it great exercise, but you’ll feel, and actually be, more secure in any environment (not so true with a gun or mace/pepper spray). Plus, it’ll give you something positive and productive to provide structure to your week while you re-enter your home life.
I love you fish!
Take a class it would be a nice way to pass time..
I was thinking you could get a switchblade. But they’re illegal. Also, they say you shouldn’t use anything you don’t mind being used against you.
As for something to do, you could always volunteer. I don’t know that you would want to but it could fill up hours, give you something social to do and get you back in the swing of a job-type schedule. And nonprofits can always use smart, energetic people like yourself.
Get a small container of peper spray clip it to your hip, it should give you a little head start burning shoe rubber back to the cops:-)
I just happened to stumble on this column. I am quite shocked and pissed off about daylight assaults…I’m not sure what drives these people to do that stuff…in broad daylight! it pisses me off to no end…Maybe you SHOULD get a dog to run with you and a personal size foghorn (nothing makes help find you faster!). Running clubs are great for finding running partners to keep you company…We have a couple of them down in the Killeen,Copperas Cove, Austin area. Nothing like safety in numbers! (just a suggestion…Why not start a running club of your own there in the Dallas area…it sure does beat cooking elaborate dinners in the interim!)Help this beauty out girls!!! I’m too busy out in the Middle East! But I would certainly oblige you when I get home! Best of Luck to you and everyone there at the Katy Trail!!!
I just read the article on the Dallas Newspaper archives…Teens with nothing else to do…I wish they were in my neck of the woods…Killeen is a VERY BIG place!!!!
Just keep swimming, Fish. You’ll find your way.
I really liked the volunteering for a good cause idea. You can meet all kinds of new people and make the world a better place all at the same time. Talk about a confidence booster and a healthy way to bolster self confidence and help out at the very same time. It sounds ideal to me. You are a writer right Fish? In your time off…write a fictional novel or something maybe. What do you think?
How about some mace?
ugh, what a terrible world we live in. unfortunately, we have to watch our backs all the time – even in broad daylight. maybe you could get a jogging buddy or two. or make sure to keep up with other runners.
I have been mugged before. Luckily, neither I nor my children were hurt. But now I tend to look over my shoulder a little better. I read some of the comments and one scared me more than anything. Carrying a gun only adds to the chance of violence, especially when running alone. Someone who looks suspicious but may be harmless could accidentally brush past and the anxiety-ridden runner might aim and fire. My personal advice is carry a key. Even just one key, maybe even one that is no longer needed, on a small ring-sized key chain can be the best weapon. Slip the ring over your middle finger of your dominant hand with the key sticking out. This way if someone starts to attack, you may be able to get in a few good blows before they take off or help arrives. Even if the thief gets your possession, you might be able to leave enough marks for a cop or anyone else for that matter, to take notice. Change trails if you want, but make sure that, no matter where you are or who you’re with, protect yourself and the innocent
It’s so awful not to feel safe. Please be careful! As far as work goes, I know exactly how you feel. I hope it gets better for both of us.
I am so sorry that you don’t feel safe!
I’m sure you face the same dilemma — I know that running with someone is safer, but sometimes I just want to be alone with my thoughts (and my iTunes).
I try to run on Saturdays at the same time as one of the local running clubs. I get the courtesy nod, but nobody gets too chatty.
Hope you power through the post-travel blahs! In the meantime, I’m always looking for new recipes!
you can share my mean looking dog… in about 9 months when he gets mean looking
hoping to by home by then.
Fish!
I know exactly what you’re going through! I live in a quaint little town, and even those aren’t safe for a girl to go jogging in any longer. I have, however, noticed that I get much, much less hooting and hollering and stalkerish attention from the losers in town when I take the German Shepherd/Chow Chow mix with me. He’s 82 pounds of love and devotion, and has no problem biting the family jewels right off anyone who dares bother me. It’s an excellent idea to be nice to the people who might one day save your life, but my personal bodyguard is certainly confidence inspiring.
Plus, the exercise is as good for him as it is for me.
I think you should move back to a real city. I also think mashed potatoes could be used as currency, so tread lightly on what I say.
Craigslist can be a great place to find a platonic running partner. Or post a sign in a local running shop. The owner may even know of running groups you could join. Perhaps not on your precious Katy, but it may be worth it.
You’ll find your way thru this. You always do.
The only way I was able to go 2 months without a job while still staying sane was by volunteeering. I put in 3 days a week at a local animal shelter, and that gave me enough motivation to wake-up in the mornings.
If animal shelters aren’t your thing (emotionally, the no-kill shelters are a lot easier to deal with), I’m sure you can find some other organization that would be happy to have you for a few hours each week
A dog would probably be really great for BOTH the safety issue and the blues, no?
Hopefully they’ll step up the police presence on the trail after the attack . . .
(Once, when i was between jobs, i got a part time job at a high end retail store just to have a reason to get out of bed and put on something other than sweats, make some cash, and get an employee discount for the new duds i needed once i finally did get the kind of job i was looking for . . . )
Something you, more than likely, are already doing that ALL RUNNERS/ OUTDOOR ACTIVE people should be sure to do: either carry ID on you or get a RoadID (go to roadID.com). In the case that all your best defenses and smarts don’t work or something happens so that you are unable to speak for yourself, authorities can ID you and contact someone who can (a relative).
Take care, fish. And happy running!
Hi Fish!
I have been a long-time reader of your blog and have loved your European adventures. I recently started my blog back up. What is the best way to get my site out there like you did? I don’t have your experience but I’d love any tips you can give
It’s terrifying…hearing that you were JUST somewhere that a major crime (disaster, whatever) occurred.
As humans we have the capacity to make our choices based on logic as well as emotion. Those decisions, those small yet so heavy that can possibly ultimately be the last decision we make, those are the decisions that in hindsight (if we are lucky to have it) shape our lives.
My best friend crossed the bridge in Minneapolis hours before it collapsed. I happened to cross it just one week prior.
Whoa – that’s crazy. I’m glad you are okay.
Very scary. It’s a shame that we have to worry about our safety in broad daylight. I’ll never understand someone who would actually hurt someone just to steal an ipod. It’s unbelievable.
(Longtime reader, first time poster)
I live in DC (seriously, the suckiest place on the East Coast, anyway), and something similar happened to a guy in my building. These punk ass kids mugged him, and AFTER he gave them his money, the little bastards beat him with a baseball bat, breaking his jaw in three places.
What really sickens me is this guy came to this country from Ethiopia about five years ago, and completely busts his ass to make life better for both himself and extended family in Ethiopia, and this is what happens to him. Over a couple of bucks.
People are really f-ed up sometimes. And never discount a ‘bad feeling’. Better to feel a little dumb for being overly cautious than regret ignoring said bad feeling for the rest of your life.
Hullo. My first visit. I’m all for refusing to be indimidated, so I’d say, get pally with the cops and stick to your run — in more crowded hours?
No, don’t give up your peace of mind. Either find somewhere else, or if you really want to stick to Katy every once in a while, I think a good dog is good to have
I hope they find the assholes who did that to the girl *shudder*
I dont think a scary dog would get along well with his Lordship Hal.
Doesn’t everyone in Texas have a gun? Just get a 12 gauge and sling it across your back when you jog. Call it a mid-weight cross-training prop or something. It might even be deductible.
Dog. Dog, Dog, DOG. In short: DOG!
I love the heart behind everyone suggesting that you volunteer, but I’m guessing that after a vacation like that a girl has some bills to pay!
When I moved across the country for a lifelong dream that ended up being unfulfilling, I started scanning craigslist and discovered things I never realized I could get paid for (movie reviews, staff at charity galas, walking naked through pervy guys apts…) As long as it’s part-time and you’re not hooked in for life, you can always leave and jump in when the right opportunity comes along. It definitely makes for some good stories in between. I would absolutely read “Fish’s Guide to Odd Jobs” sponsored by Monster.com
You’re making scare to go on Katy Trail now!!!
Before the time change (before it didn’t get dark at 5:30pm…) I would leave my office in the West End and walk to the Katy Trail by the AAC and walk to one end and back. A friend used to chastise me about it saying it was dangerous. I thought she was crazy because at any given time you can see 10 people aorund you. I am not going to let the attack stop me (as scary as hell that it happened), all you can do is be alert and know your surroundings. Mace would probably be helpful too. I walk/run/bike White Rock all the time. We can’t let those thugs stop us from living our lives. We just have to be aware.
Hope you work through the daily boredom, I have no suggestions there.