The other day, I was thinking that if I’d had any religious reason to forgo something – some sort of indulgence or sin - for Lent, I’d have given up American Idol. Or, at least, I would have martyred myself trying. It was getting a little bit disgusting how much I needed to watch that show. Like, the power of David Archuleta compelled me. In fact, after five years of not watching, American Idol was suddenly, out of the blue spotlights, beginning to rival my Scrabulous addiction. And people, playing Scrabulous comes right after “breathing” on the list of things I do to sustain life.
Breathe in. Breathe out. E-Q-U-A-L-I-T-Y for seventy-one points. You get the idea.
Then this morning, I realized, that in a mere six days, being employed again has cleansed me of my sins of addiction. Oh, I’m still Scrabblin’ online with anyone and everyone who will indulge me, but I no longer have the luxury of hovering over it for hours at a time, callousing my index finger by hitting F5 every few seconds. Refresh! Refresh! And as for AI, well, by the time I get home at night, I’m just too tired to watch it. I know. Who knew there was such a thing as too tired to… watch television? I didn’t. But after I kick off my shoes, wrastle with the cat and put a little food in my belly, I just can’t tolerate any more stimulation. Unless it’s from my heating pad and good piece of fiction.
It’s been over a week now, and as much as I miss my American Idol fellas (forget the girls; they’re hacks), the separation might just be a positive thing. Who knows, I may even cancel my cable subscription. Or not. Turns out, I couldn’t even type that sentence without flinching. Probably has a little something to do with my love for Detective Elliot Stabler.
Gotta love those boys on American Idol! I don’t know about the girls, though; there do seem to be one or two that could make it.
Cat wraslin’ beats TV watchin’ any day.
How can you not love Detective Elliot Stabler?! Besides, could you really give up the USA and TNT repeats?! I couldn’t!
I share your crush on Elliot Stabler….
I met him once, we were staying in the same hotel, I thought I was really cool and bought him a drink at the bar, he returned the favor.
that is my I had drinks with Elliott Stabler story
I am soooo with you on the Scrabulous addiction!
you’re not missing much of anything right now, believe me. AI has gone Beatle crazy since given the rights to the McCartney/Lennon songbook. catch back up next week – top 10.
I swear I have never before watched American Idol — never really got interested past the excruciating audition part. But I am now totally addicted. Love me some David Archuleta!
You know, I initially read that last line of your second sentence as “…Unless it’s from my heating pad and good piece of FRICTION.”
Did a double take, then had a good laugh.
I’ve never thought of work as a version of Lent before, but now I see the parallels
Do tell us what you’re reading? I didn’t have a tv for years but recently hooked up a set of rabbit ears to my computer. I’m still downloading tv though. It’s so much easier than waiting for House and Chuck and CSI to come back. You too can download Elliot Stabler. You could even go legit and buy him on DVD now that you have a job! Yay
Folks, don’t let her fool you. She may seem nice, but she will DESTROY you at Scrabble.
“Equality” is too many letters for Scrabble – unless they increased the draw for the computer?
And I, too, admit to being an Elliot Stabler fan – sigh! He was fabulous when he was on NYPD Blue, and he’s even more fabulous as he gets older.
i am recently re-employed as well.
turns out “working” really wears you out in NO time! i haven’t been able to watch TV in over 2 months, and i do miss Detective Stabler a lot as well….but having TV as a treat again, is rather nice.
anyway, thank goodness i have no idea what Scrabulous is, otherwise, i think i’d be inclined to get addicted too…..i know me……….
Unless you’re going first, there are already letters on the board to use.
Ha! That’s funny, because your returning to work means *I* have fewer distractions/addictions myself. I work at home and without the fear of a coworker/boss coming up behind me and catching me surfing…there’s little deterrent. But with you back in the office, I know there won’t be anything to read until after office hours
I’d rather you have a job, but you know…I”m just sayin… 
having a little withdrawal. Apparently I need to check out scrabulous.
Where oh where is the online Scrabble site? I’d love to hone my skills during mid-day work lulls!
Um, lawyerchick, Elliot Stabler is on Law and Order SVU…
ooohhhh! I heart Detective Stabler too! YUM
I also thought you said “peice of friction” rather than fiction. LOL!
Actually Chris Meloni was also on NYPD Blue for a few episodes. Long long time ago. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005221/
Oh Detective Stabler. We have had a long running love affair. Before things got all complicated with the fiance’, we could watch four or five hours in a complete post-work coma. But in times of trials of the heart, I still have Detective Stabler- even if I collapse a little earlier these days myself.
I’ve read your archives. All the way from 2002 to January 2007. And I finally figured out the purpose of those hours. Those many hours. I can’t call them wasted.
You have a voice, a great writing voice. This is not news to you. You have thousands of comments over several years from thousands of people who have told you how great you are. When I first happened upon your blog, I was thoroughly and completely jealous. Of course, there is a space in my personal resume of talents for writing, and a space in the giant to-do list of my life, to write. Write a book, write a blog, write in my journal, WRITE. I don’t do it as well or as often as I should. So I’m jealous of your talent, your discipline, and your opportunity to write. Correction: I was jealous of your talent, I’m working on the discipline, and know that with discipline, I will make the opportunity.
This is not a prelude to some “snarky” comment about how your writing has deteriorated. This is a prelude into what I’ve learned about the purpose for all those hours of reading.
I too, have a voice. I’m working on a book, about my life. It’s a worthy subject – I’ve been to hell and back, a couple of times. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am a convert. I was excommunicated and re-baptized. I started reading your blog and when I found references to your Mormon past, I wondered. I thought about it more than I reasonably should be thinking about a stranger’s random blogging about a life that has nothing to do with me. Eventually I started reading the archives looking for answers. I learned a lot about you. This is not a prelude to some stalker-ish recounting of all the things I know about you. This is a prelude to the reason I am writing to you.
I am not a member of this church or a believer in Christ so that I can revel in my piety, or stand on a pedestal and point at all the sad people below me and take pleasure in my righteousness over their miserable lives. Excommunicated, remember? I do not have pride about my piety or righteousness, or about my faith. I have humility before my Lord and my God. My faith is as real as my talent to write, my depth of emotions, my self-criticism, and my affinity with you. My faith is as real as your life, even the life you barely share on your blog. I wonder, when you make a joke about not seeking to know the purpose of life, how exactly you manage not to wonder. I’m sure that sometimes, you don’t manage not to, and that you have to wonder all the why’s. I’ve watched the cycles of your life and been jealous that you have so much time to revel in your emotions, to clean your apartment, to work out, so much freedom to decide how you will spend an afternoon (to go out, to clean, to lounge, to work…) because with two kids, a husband, a calling, a job, a family, I don’t have that kind of freedom. But I’m not jealous of the inanity. I’m not jealous of the cycles of restlessness, discontent, anger, sadness, fear. I have these emotions too, but I have the blessing and the opportunity of seeking the purpose in those feelings. And with enough reflection and prayer, with enough seeking, I find it. I learn, I grow. I have seen your growth, and I respect it. I write to invite you to consider that whether or not you make it to Prague (maybe you did in 2007 and I haven’t read that yet), in your life will mean a lot less to you in the final accounting, than whether you did, and did well, the things that you were sent to this earth to do. Like change people’s lives with your great writing voice. Like give up the boys who break your heart because you’re looking for zzzzuhh, for the man who will give you children, stability, and a reason for that wonderful tender heart of yours.
You don’t want advice. And who am I to offer it? Nobody. You don’t want religion. Your life would be severely compromised if you found it and decided to keep it. But maybe, returning to all that Sunday school piety, with new eyes, humble eyes, you’ll find something more than a reason to think you’re better than other people. Maybe you’ll find God, and a reason for your life.
Good luck to you Heather Hunter (of the non-porn star variety), and God bless.
Have you ever played Babble? It’s a REALLY addicting word game – I think you would love it! Go to http://www.playbabble.com.
Enjoy!
P.S. I LOVE scrabulous too!
I’ve been trying to figure out how, or even if, I should reply to this. And I decided that my feelings about what you’ve said come down to this: thank you for caring enough to take the time to say what you did. I think, though, that many of your assertions are not exactly accurate.
You say I revel in emotion and that someone with more activities (I take that to read “meaning” on your part) doesn’t have such luxury. I see religion, to a pretty large degree, as reveling in emotion. For instance, what are faith promoting stories (including Bible parables, allegories, etc.) if not tales intended to make you bask in one feeling or another, ponder those feelings, and change your life to align with one principle or another? It’s manipulation, even though the desired outcome is good. You spend three hours a week on a church bench doing your emotional reveling; you simply choose to make it about god. I can’t relate to god. So I make mine about flesh and blood people in my life.
In the end, this is what it boils down to: I just don’t want what you have. It’s what was offered to me my whole life, and I left it behind – not because I was afraid I’d live a compromised life (that compromise was all I had ever known), but because I found no comfort in it. It did not make me happy, or at peace or any of those other things people seem to find in god. I’m not always happy now, but at least I know why. I don’t have to guess at god’s will. And honestly, I do not believe there is a reason for my life. I believe there are many reasons for it. And I don’t necessarily believe that children or a husband are the top two.
Although I agree with everything in this post — almost to a scary degree — I’m most intrigued by the fact we both read every night with a heating pad. I mean, really, who else does that?
Thank you, Moshizzle – he played some gangster on NYPD Blue that had a fling with whats-her-name (Bobby Simone’s widow).
Fish!!! I am addicted to Scrabulous too. My sister and BIL and I play the real game all the time, but then I discovered Scrabulous. I’m new to the whole thing, but Sat, I spent over six hours hovered over my computer playing scrabble. It’s A-M-A-Z-I-N-G (bingo!) how quickly time passes when I’m sitting there trying to figure out the best way to get a bingo and a triple score word at the same time. I’ve now gotten my coworkers hooked on the game
Anyway, what’s your score, and do you want to play me? 
I meant stat, not score!
Perhaps some things I did not express as clearly as I could have. I truly meant that I am sometimes jealous of the time you have to do things that my obligations don’t allow me to do. Like lay in bed all day. Wow, that would be a gift. I wasn’t raising myself above you by believing that more activities equals more meaning. I’m just sometimes genuinely jealous. And sometimes I’m not jealous. I’m pretty happy too. Most of the time. And yeah, religion does that for me. But it’s not for everybody…lucky us, we get to choose.
I agree, lucky us. I’m sorry if I misunderstood your meaning.
Incidentally, most times, if I’m laying in bed all day, I’m either sick or very sad. And that’s not much to be jealous of
.
You can’t let down our little David Archuleta, Fish, you just can’t do it…if he finds out, he may forget the words.
“the power of David Archuletta compelled me” That’s great!
I hadn’t watched until this year either. I feel ashamed when I know the names of the contestants… And it isn’t even a guilty pleasure ’cause most of the time I watch on mute. A guilty torture? Does this say something about me? Hmm…
I have been too tired for television. But not too tired for a good Elizabeth Peters novel. That Amelia Peabody is too fun to resist.
I’ll take Stabler over Archuleta any day of the week
On-line Boggle rocks too. Keeps me “busy” at work all day long
Good luck with your new changes!
(Long time reader/stalker)