shredded

All it took was one little photo Krissa posted to her flickr with the caption that read, “Oh look, I survived again!” And a week later and I’m drinking the same Kool Aid.  The same aching shoulder, can’t walk downstairs, breathless, sweaty Kool Aid.

And I love it.

“Did I tell you I’ve been doing the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred workout?” Jamie and I were waiting for the lights to go down at a Sunday matinee showing of The Duchess, and my thighs were still a little twitchy from my earlier 20-mintue ass-kicking.

“How funny! I just got mine today! I kept reading about it on all these Twitters…”

So. This thing. It is popular. Sort of like the snap bracelet craze that went around my junior high school. But if the soreness of my mucles is any indication, this fad will actually get me more than some useless accessories and an after school detention. What? I dare you to ignore that snappy zebra print beauty during a supremely dry lecture on the color wheel. Yeah, yeah. Red and green make brown. I GET it.

At any rate, I’m on day five, and I’m proud to report that I can make it ALL the way through the push-ups without bleeding from my eyes and ears. People, before Wednesday, I did not know I was incapable of doing push-ups. But Jillian Michaels, she made me confront that ugly truth and a few more like it. And she made me gain a pound. Which I’m hoping that’s a temporary glitch, because one does not bleed from the eyes and not expect her bathroom scale to reward her handsomely.

Are you playing along at home? If you are, I want to know what day you are on and how awesomely hot this program has made you. Because I’m staring down day six having already run four miles at the ungodly hour of 5:45, and been told in bold, black digital numbers that none of this effort is doing jack. And I want jack! Tell me I’ll get jack!

Yeah, yeah. I’m needy. I get that, too.

31 comments to shredded

  • I think you’re gaining muscle, which is always good! I bet you’ll start to see some weight loss here soon. Be sure to drink plenty of water to hydrate yourself after you do the dvd. That way you won’t retain water and be all puffy.

    I bought this dvd last month and it’s been sitting on my shelf ever since. Got to start it! You’re giving me motivation!

  • Well I’m on day 6 (or day 1 again since I skipped this weekend because I was out of town but I did 5 days last week in a row and today…) and I’ve lost one pound. One. Measley. Pound. But I do FEEL better and I’m sure all the pounds will start melting away soon. :D

  • KMH

    I have her 30 Day Shred that I’m renting from Netflix. I, however, am not diligently doing them everyday. I do them as a way to mix up what I’m currently doing (running, walking, randomly going to the gym). I think it’s good… in the sense that I “get my sweat on”… however, I don’t like how she calls it a 20 minute work out… it is so CLEARLY 26 minutes… check out the DVD timer. uh-huh.

  • Anonymous

    Well, she talks for a few minutes and the cool down isn’t counted in the 20 minutes.

  • Jessica

    I agree with the first poster. When i started working out in college(years ago) I gained weight and cried. Then my trainer was nice enough to tell me it’s muscle, and the more fat you burn(at least for me) the higher tendency to keep water weight. And five days really isn’t long enough. Give it another 5 then reevaluate how you feel and how your clothes fit. It’s not all about the number.

    Remember by numbers alone, the entire NBA is ‘obese’!

  • lawyerchik

    Congratulations on your new habit! I’m with Gigi: the pound you’re seeing on your scale is probably muscle, so embrace the gain, sister! :)

  • jamie

    Definitely lay off the scale and go by how your jeans fit. I used to live on a super strict diet and weight myself every morning. When a guy I was crushing on convinced me to start lifting weights I was freaked out but I liked him enough to give it a try. I put on 5 lbs, ate real food for the first time in years, and also lost quite a few inches, toned up and looked way better than I ever had in my life. Oh, and that guy is now my husband… ahem… Stick with the pushups.

  • Although I have no idea what you’re talking about, a pound could mean anything: water weight from all the hydrating, accelerated hair growth from hormone fluctuations, gravitational and barometric pressure changes causing your scale to read differently… The list is endless. Point being that one pound is insignificant (but only +1 pound! -1 pound is definitely significant ;)

  • Good luck with the video. Maybe it will just take a week or so for your body to get with the program? I think we are roughly the same age (I’m 33) and I had the unpleasant realization this spring while tackling a bit of pre-bikini season weight loss, that suddenly, my half-assed routine was no longer working. I had dieted before but I was never very strict about it and it still worked. This time, after two false starts, I realized that I had to actually do it right or just give up. I think that our bodies do a sneaky shift to middle-aged without telling us which is unfair. Seems like there should atleast be a postcard reminder in the mail.

  • aliastaken

    I don’t know anything about this DVD, but my advice is to try Zumba. It’s lots of fun and tones in places that most women are looking to slim down or firm up. I do it four days a week (along with other exercise) and I never dread the work-out.

  • Am new here and your blog is soo funny…been reading archives.

    Hmm…this 30 day shred workout it what i need right now but waking up at 5:45am!!! I think even lucifer and his minions of demons cannot wake me from my slumber at that time of the morning.

    Nice blog…going back to reading archives

  • Diane

    I have been drinking the Jillian Kool Aid for a little over 6 months now… and she still hurts me. But my jeans fit beautifully and I feel strong. Yes, go by how your clothes fit and not the scale. I was a little horrified as well by a few lb gain at first too. You’ll get jack!

    She also has an awesome kick your ass workout called Frontside/Backside so now I switch around which one to do.

  • Diane

    I have been drinking the Jillian Kool Aid for a little over 6 months now… and she still hurts me. But my jeans fit beautifully and I feel strong. Yes, go by how your clothes fit and not the scale. I was a little horrified as well by a few lb gain at first too. You’ll get jack!

    She also has an awesome kick your ass workout called Frontside/Backside so now I switch around which one to do.

  • OneDateWonder

    Read your blog and now I ordered the 30 Day Shred workbut. I’m looking for a distraction to my one date wonder status…

  • I’ve never heard of this but I’m intrigued. And anything I can do at home is fantastic. I just finished the 100 Push-ups Challenge, a six-week program (www.hundredpushups.com)–yes I can do 100 at one go! Crazy thing is I went down a pant size, I think because I was so much more aware of my body and what I put in to it that I inadverdantly “dieted”. So my next challenge is a 10 week running program. Maybe I’ll give Shred a try.

  • Susan

    Pilates. Nothing beats it

  • Anonymous

    I’d have to disagree. I think it depends on your body’s needs. I took private pilates instruction for months and worked my butt off, but I need more out and out cardio to keep in shape. It was great, I won’t knock it, but it wasn’t perfect for me at all.

  • GymRat

    I’ve been reading AMAZING things about this video too – and just ordered it yesterday! I have a trainer at my gym and asked her about it Friday.. she said at least one other trainer there is obsessed with the 30 Day Shred. You’re on the right path, just stick with it! And yes – don’t worry about the pound. That’s your body shifting gears.

  • Nikki

    What is the Kool-Aid? I’m so confused.

  • Also a joiner. I’m on like day 5 or 6 – I skip days and continue to do cardio – and it has gotten much easier and I definitely noticed a difference in my arms.

    What TERRIFIES me though – LEVELS 2 and 3. What is on those? I am too afraid to even look.

  • Cyn

    Throw the scale away. Use measurements and you skinny clothes to measure progress. Or a tape measure. Scales are mean and torturous things that make a number some kind of goal when what we really want is a shape. I’ve been doing I Want That Body! with Tamilee. I really do want that body except for the tad too perky implants.

  • I’m on day 12, level 2. Have you done level 2? It gets worse…actually, its not that bad after 10 days of level 1, but there’s a lot more jumping, hopping and one seriously painful “chair squat with v-fly” move that makes me want to v-fly my weights into Jillian’s head. Before I was doing this DVD, I was on a strict cardio-only regimen. So my body was pretty pissed about the incorporation of anything strength related (I couldn’t walk up stairs for 2 days). I’ve lost 4 pounds so far…and I’m a lot stronger (I am also measuring my strength in push-ups). Give it a week or so. The first place I noticed some shred was in my ass and my thighs. Now I’m noticing that my annoying arm flab is taming itself. This weekend someone told me my face looked thinner which was nice. But I’ll be happier when they tell me my hips look thinner and my gut is gone. I’m blogging about the whole thing as I’m going. I’m still not sure if thats me being accountable or just super bored at work. Keep posting about this and let us know how you’re doing. Good luck!

  • Anonymous

    No way, lady! I’m not moving on to Level 2 until Level 1 is no longer a challenge. I want to do ALL the push ups man-style. And I am SO not there yet.

  • HandyGal

    You’ll get absolutely get jack! Hang in there; you want that muscle weight! It’s going to tear through all those stored calories that you want to unload–even while you’re sleeping!

    I’m also in favor of ignoring the scale, and here’s why: When I was a high school senior, I was an exchange student in Germany. I gained 12 pounds of euro-pudge that year, which adds up very quickly when you’re only five-foot-three. When I came back to America the weight melted off in three weeks. Then I started working construction, which built some serious muscle; I could lift 100 lb sandbags and move 4×8 sheets of 3/4″ plywood by myself. I went back to Germany for a visit and my host mother freaked because she thought I was wasting away, but I weighed the same when I was a gnarly skin-and-bones carpenter as I did with my chubby-cheeked euro-pudge.

    So shred on with those man-style push-ups and kiss that scale goodbye! ;)

  • ive done it on demand before- it’s the same one though right, you just do it for 30 days?

  • Lisa

    How was the Duchess?

  • Lisa

    How was the duchess?

  • Sarah

    i never EVER try things i hear about from blogs or websites but I caved… and let me just tell you

    After finishing my first round just about 15 mins ago, i LOATHE Jillian Micheals. But this is a very sick love/hate relationship because now im hooked.

  • jill

    I ordered this from Amazon and got it in the mail about a month ago… and it still has the cellophane on it… but now I’m inspired. Glad to hear this about the random DVD I got a month ago… maybe I’ll actually start using it now!

  • Anonymous

    You won’t be sorry. I’m so happy to see my shoulders stop looking doughy – and all it took was a week.