Yesterday morning my car broke. Electrical issues (in other words, Stuff I Do Not Understand). It’s all probably under warranty, but you try telling that to whichever part of my brain is in charge of stress. Hoo boy. When the dashboard lit up like a Christmas tree with DANGER, VW DRIVER! EXPLOSIONS, DEATH & CARNAGE! warnings, so did the stress spot in my cranium. And the beauty of yesterday was, it didn’t stop there. Oh, no! Because last night when my BlackBerry stopped working, I rolled my eyes way back into my head, took a deep breath and said, “Oh, Universe. You’re such a kidder.”
Full disclosure: I unleashed a string of expletives, too – most of them beginning with F and ending with six exclamation points. But as this is a family show, we’ll stick to golly, gosh and gee willikers. Keepin’ it G-rated.
On the brighter, shinier side, I bought a plane ticket to Utah so I can meet my nephew when he arrives next month. That I never got an email confirmation or that my credit card hasn’t actually been charged (despite the Ticketed – October 8, 2008 message on the American Airlines website), I attribute to the general punishment that was yesterday. When whatever planet is in retrograde decides to snap out of it, I expect all to be righted. In other words, I cannot freaking worry about one more thing right now.
Which is why I’ve wisely (snicker) decided it’s probably time to start dating again. You know, with the purpose of not spending the rest of my life thinking only about myself, and having someone else to make the other side of the bed (seriously, that’s a lot of walking ’round and ’round). If you’ll remember, I made a similar decision last fall, and then opted instead to wander around Europe for a couple months making out with college boys on study abroad. Not bad work, if you can get it, but you see how far that got me. I’m STILL taking out the garbage every week (minus) and enjoying sole possession of the remote control (plus). Anyway, if you are reasonably tall, funny and do not intend to take me too seriously ever (and I mean EVER), please start lining up at my door. I like irises and hiking trips and I laugh in my sleep. That’s pretty much all you need to know.
Ready… go!
so, headed up to the utah, are ya? for doing a little hiking, are ya? and some nature walks, and some sacrament meeting, and some jazz game watching, and some drinking watered down booze, and some nephew lovin’, and some cuddled up by the fire while the snow falls with a hot guy, are ya?
how splendid.
You forgot the part about being a guy. Unless it doesn’t matter…
I’m curious to see how the blog as alterna-dating site works out. Could you advertise for me, too?
(I’m in France at the moment so I won’t be stepping on your territory).
Bonne chance, and happy dating!
It’s Mercury that’s retrograde. It governs communications and mechanical things. Should ease up around the 14th/15th.
Yay dating again! Or is that a little over the top for enthusiasm? Anyhow, it’s Mercury doing it’s retrograde thing, hang in there it will be over the 15th.
I have an adorable, hysterically funny, single 29-year-old brother but he resides in Indianapolis. I’d totally try to set you two up if he wasn’t. But good luck on your search!
Finn, those references to the remote not being hogged and the trash said “only men need apply” to me. =)
Lady, do I EVER understand. With Mercury doing it’s retrograde thing, I am ready to crawl into bed until it’s rotating normally again (or whatever). My car broke down on monday… had to have it towed for the first time in our 6 years together (as girl and jeep) and $1500 later, we’re back on the road.
Oh and I got lost twice while transferring between buses on the way to work. I rule! Is this week over yet? I have important Netflix waiting for me at home.
Good luck with the dating!
I’ve been intentionally avoiding certain situations (conversations, emails…) and as much technical stuff as possible (the girl has got to work!) over the past few weeks. It’s been difficult as most people don’t understand or agree that the planets have an effect on us.
Continue to hang on kids….we’re almost in the clear!
I had similar thoughts recently and signed up on a dating site. Now, I have less than 12 hours before I meet this guy (who can’t possibly be real), and am questioning my sanity.
My lesson: Never tell the universe I’m bored before I’m actually together enough to have a date.
Good luck!
Why, with all the insight and creativity that you’ve shown the world on this blog, would your first qualifier for boys to line up for you be “reasonably tall”? reasonably funny, maybe.. reasonably patient, sure.. reasonably , I’ll buy.. but this guy, who is reasonably taller than the average american woman, expected better!
I have the most amazing and sweet friend in the world. He is 32, attractive, athletic, smart and funny. He has a great job, lots of good family and friends and is over all a winner. I would lurve to set you up. I know he would love your sense of humor and I think you could learn to adore his silly jokes and sweet smile. Maybe that’s weird, but if not, email me.
my check engine light will not go off and no one can tell me why it is on, and on top of that, i have been overdue for my car inspection since MAY b/c that bugger won’t turn off.
and dating again sounds fun, so i will be living vicariously through you. go have some fun!
Uh, you could just stop making the bed? But I too hopped back on that free online dating site last night. If nothing else, I will have more unbelievable dating stories.
I shall now refer to you as Glutton For Punishment – you seriously know how to tempt the Fates, Fish!! That said, however, good luck, and let us know how the dating pool water is.
So when you were talking about planets in retrograde & such (I dont think I even know what that means…!), I thought you were just making one of those ‘the universe hates me for some reason’ explanations… but turns out everyone else here knew that Mercury really IS in retrograde! Made me giggle.
Hey! That is me! Well, I don’t have irises on me but I can get some real soon. How do you feel about relocating to Colorado? Wait no, I’ll come to you. Just email me your address, please…
Nicole,
I was so totally being silly about my retrograde comment – but now that it’s been validated, I’m sticking to it!
the most charming personal ad, ever!
Ummm, Lisa. The “Check Engine Light” refers to a need to have the engine checked. Hope will not do repairs, especially Pro Bono. Your neighborhood AutoZone will loan you the testing tool free, and likely show you how/help you use it. Probably a $20 part. Almost assuredly part of the emissions system (the only reason for the basic check engine light).
See, men can be handy.
As for Fish, where was the internet when I was young and single? *sigh*
Oh Fish, how lovely! I’m a big fan of dating (altho my new boyfriend probably wouldn’t want to know this!) I love meeting people for the first time, I’m a huge fan of first kisses and I love the getting dressed up.
Having said that, when I’d worked a 12 hour day yday and lovely man picked me up, took me home and made me dinner, I equally loved that
Can’t wait to read about what you’ve been up to – hope you have as much fun as I did
You could have probably used the same title from the last post on this one. If you’re looking for success, reintroduce yourself to the eligibility pool by declaring “Reentry.”
My best friend just got married last Sunday to the best match she could have ever made. I just adore her new husband, and more importantly, so does she. Anyway, the point is, they met online, and she scoffed and rolled her eyes when her friends and family all told her to join a dating website. So, best of luck to you, it does happen. (I’m not implying that you are “husband hunting”, but neither was my friend.)
Yay, I’m so glad you’re going to start dating again! I can’t wait to read all about it! I got out of a long term relationship 4 months ago and decided it’s about time I started again too. It’ll be fun comparing my stories to yours! Good luck to you, but remember, it can be brutal out there…
My mechanic gave me the sign of the cross when I showed him my VW after a rear suspension blowout on the Belt Parkway. (Should’ve been called the Rust Best Parkway).
Advice on dating from Blue Magic:
“Step right up. Hurry, Hurry
Before the games begin, my friends.
Stand in line, get your tickets, I hope you will attend
So let the sideshow begin, hurry hurry
Step right on in. Can’t afford to pass it by
Guaranteed to make you cry”
Good luck. If you’re in NYC. Not a formal invitation but an invitation – my friends nuvo inspirational gospel ‘Lost Crusaders’ opening with ‘Edison Arkestra’ at Pier 17 Spiegel
Tent are performing Thu. 10/16/08 at 8:00pm.
http://www.spiegelworld.com/spiegel/spiegel.html
I’ve always been drawn to your wit and cynicism…but alas, I’m still hung up on Nic. Baggage, I know. The first step to tackling the problem is in fact admitting the problem.
Think about it.
Kit
Wow!
You will find someone. How could you not? Guys go for smart funny women.
Some Ethan Hawkish guy is probably lost on the way to your house right now.