Dear Lady to My Left,
I’m baffled. Why, oh sweetbabyjesus why, would you come to yoga today? You clearly have the flu, swine or otherwise (though, after listening to your chesty cough for the last hour, I feel consumption may be an option as well), and all that hacking into your shoulder isn’t doing a bit of good for the rest of us in this room. This room which is heated and humidified, so as to make the conditions for germ sharing OPTIMAL. See this guy to my right? He’s been farting since Awkward Chair and I don’t resent his presence nearly as much as I do yours.
Though, I agree with my friend Laura. Neither of you are really making deep, cleansing breaths all that appealing, but at least he’s not potentially effing up the only vacation I’ve had this year. Actually, the only real vacation I’ve had since March, 2008. You understand my angst; that’s a very long time. And, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m having lunch with Cinderella in two weeks. And if I miss this lunch, I swear on all that is holy, I will find you. And I will cut off your hair in your sleep.
By the way, your Standing Bow is pretty. Bear in mind, it would probably look less so without hair.
Love,
Heather
Gross.
Here’s hoping you moved on down the line
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!
The exact reason I do yoga w/the nice lady on the dvd, in my living room where the only distraction is cats sniffing my toes.
Safe & healthy travels & enjoy Cinderella etal!
I hate when people do that! So not cool! Hope you stay uber healthy!
Ugh! You poor thing!
Here’s hoping you stay healthy!!!!!
(The lady next to me at class the other day had bad breath and B.O., but at least she didn’t have the flu!)
People are so annoying! Hopefully, you will not get sick. I’ve become really brash this year, actually calling people out in the gym or on the train with a disdainful, “Excuse me, but could you please COVER YOUR MOUTH when you cough?” If I get a dirty look, I follow up with, “I’m sorry, but I’m a medical student and public health is really important to me.” By this, I actually mean, “I am a medical student who has to take care of sick people like you who keep contaminating the masses because you are SELFISH and INCONSIDERATE and won’t even COVER YOUR MOUTH IN PUBLIC!” I share your pain.
Ugh, I would have just left. Not worth the risk. Those pretzel rolls at Cinderella’s Royal Table (with the dijon butter, gah!) are too good to miss. And don’t leave without your complimentary fairy wand! Why should toddlers have all the fun?
Too funny. Take heart though. People are most contagious right in the beginning of the flu. Once the fever is gone for 24 hours it is fine to go out and about while some symptoms still linger for a long time.
Only you could share that experience in a way that almost made me spit coffee all over my desk. Thanks for giving me a much needed laugh in the middle of prepping for the houseful of relatives I’m hosting tomorrow. As for the germ thing, I’ve advised each guest that if they show up with so much as a sniffle they won’t be coming inside the house. I will fix them a plate and they can sit on the porch bench outside. And let me just add I am so jealous of your upcoming vacation! I hope you have a blast.
mucho paranoia.
Totes Jealous on the lunch with Cinderella! I bet it’s even better than breakfast with Mary Poppins
Wait a minute, wait a minute! Can you actually *do* a standing bow?! Cuz, when I attempt that move, it looks more like geriatric Cirque du Soleil.
Jennie Scheinman, a great violinist (w/ Nora Jones) just finished her residency at a hole-in-the wall pub in Brooklyn yesterday. Place was packed. She had just given birth and was ready to return to the road (touring out west). Place was a bacteria trap and everyone looked from their right to their left when one hack was heard. A/C went on only mid-way thru performance as a gesture to silence the crowd. A wonderful show that was poorly ventilated. Happy Purell Thanksgiving Ms. Fish.
omg! only you could make a possible encounter with the swine flu absolutely hilarious! Happy Thanksgiving! Hope your vacation and your cinderella lunch date are all that you’ve dreamed they would be… stay healthy!
I can! It’s probably the one I try the hardest on.
Shave off an eyebrow as well while you’re at it!
this post cracked me up! i practice yoga frequently and there are a couple of folks in my class that i call ‘the groaner’ and ‘the one with sleep apnea’ that make it absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for me to relax during relaxation. some people seem totally unaware that there are people surrounding them.