Confession: I skipped out on the last two weeks of Boot Camp. And except for the fact that it was a foolish waste of hard earned money to do so, I don’t feel bad about it. Here’s why:
On the Friday that the Dork Lord and I went to Austin, I got up at five, as normal, put on a bunch of assorted and mismatched Nike apparel and headed down to boot camp. I was feeling pretty good – energized and strong – and though I’d grown accustomed to a good butt kicking, the workout that morning was nothing short of brutal. We ran suicide drills in relay teams. And if it wasn’t your turn to run, you were doing intense ab exercises in push up position. Each relay segment was followed by a sprinted lap and… then repeat. I swallowed my own vomit twice. What’s more, I came in last every single time. There was something so fundamentally humiliating and defeating about pushing myself to puke-inducing-maximum only to lag behind (way, way behind) even the other jiggly folks, who like myself, aren’t exactly athletic, that I had a bit of a breakdown. I apologized to my team for being slow and when camp was over, I sat in my car, key dangling in the ignition, and cried. I did not feel strong. I felt embarrassed.
I came home, pulled myself together, told the Boy that I believe yoga was more my speed, and never went back. I just couldn’t stomach the idea of being last again. And again. The interesting thing is that between yoga and walking/jogging, I’ve lost exactly the same number of pounds as I did at Boot Camp the month before, but I don’t feel like an utter failure - like the last, awkward kid picked for Red Rover. Yes, it was an intense work out and the trainers were, for the most part, excellent. But as it turns out, I’m just not into the torture of it all.
Who knows, I may opt to subject myself to humiliation again when spring rolls around and people start saying words like, pool party. At that point, torture becomes sort of relative.
Also, if you now have Frenchy’s “Beauty School Drop-Out” on endless repeat in your head, then my work here is done.
If it’s making you feel bad about yourself it’s not worth it. To me, the point of exercise at all is to make you feel fitter, stronger and BETTER about yourself. If you dread going you won’t be consistent.
But I suppose you already figured that out, didn’t you? Ahem.
The best part of being an adult is we don’t have to put up with things that don’t make us feel good!
As someone who has never been athletically inclined but have become a religious worker outer in the past few years, I am 100% supportive of your decision to stop attending boot camp.
Exercise is supposed to make you feel good, even if it is sometimes hard you should feel accomplished when you’re done. No one needs an extra dose of the last kid picked for dodgeball. Good for you for making the right decision for YOU despite your inclination not to waste the money.
I recently started doing yoga again too and feel so great!
Yoga is rocking my face off! I mean, yes, it is challenging, but I can see progress every single time I go. And it doesn’t hurt.
Having been through boot camp as well as numerous hiking events (Kilimanjaro) that left me last no matter how hard I pushed myself. I’m ALWAYS last and it’s so discouraging, especially when I hike a freaking mountain alone b/c I’m so slow. I cheer your stance against torture b/c it finally lets me say it too!
There is no reason that you should have to feel horrible about yourself just to break a sweat – isn’t high school gym class over with??
And boot camp served it’s purpose – it got you working out again, lost a little bit of weight, but it got you in the mindset to keep being active DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU ENJOY
Good for you! It’s all about feeling good and getting healthy, not about humiliation and embarrassment!
I was watching an infomercial the other night (Danger! Danger!) for a high-intensity fitness program. Of course, everyone on it talks about how challenging-yet-rewarding it is, how they’re so glad they stuck with it and now feel they can conquer anything, blah blah blah. Followed by the challenges: “If you wannna work out in a pool of your own sweat, this is for you! If you’re only gonna give 50%, go home!”
It was such a turnoff! I’d like to see any of those tough guys go through labor. Deliver a baby, dude, then we’ll see how tough you really are!
In the meantime, I’ll stick with hot yoga, as well.
Yoga makes me/you feel strong and powerful and comfortable in my/your own body. Boot camp sounds like it makes you feel like you need to strive to meet someone else’s standards, not our own. Boo boot camp. Yay yoga. I fully support this choice. And I heart your blog. So there.
Good for you!
I’m one of those people who usually works out alone because any form of group exercise gives me horrible flashbacks to middle school gym class. I was always picked last, too.
And, like someone else said, the nice thing about being adult is being able to workout how you LIKE to, and not being forced to run a mile in front of your peers. With the time yelled out for everyone to hear. I think gym class is what made me not exercise for all those years before college. I just associated it with humiliation. It sounds like your boot camp is the equivalent of a gym class for grownups. ICK.
If working out is torture, its not sustainable. And isn’t that the point of working out? That it should be part of our lifestyle, as in, something we ENJOY and feel great about?
If yoga does that for you, rock on! Its not like yoga is easy, either!
I went the boot camp route for awhile… until I pulled my hamstring trying to keep up with guys 15 years younger than me! 10 days of limping is not the exercise result I was looking for.
For what its worth – after the boot camp wounds healed, I made an impulsive purchase of those “P90X” DVDs you see on late night cable. BEST PURCHASE EVER! Lots of yoga and stretching mixed in and you can do them at your own pace in the privacy of your own home.
Great workouts that are VERY challenging without being discouraging!
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P.S. – have fun at Mickey World!
Don’t feel too bad. I dropped out of my boot camp class for many of the same reasons (although there was no “team” activity that pushed me over the edge). I chalked it up to having bitten off more than I could chew (figuratively speaking), and I decided that I would do what I can do at my age (somewhat more advanced age than yours) and just keep working at it until I find something that actually works. It’s only “quitting” if you stop trying to do things that make you healthier!! Chin up, Heather!
Reading this post was like reading something I could have written myself. Even when I’m in the best shape of my life, I’ll always be the slowest runner/skier/hiker, etc.; truth be told, I’m pretty bad at yoga, too. Apparently I wasn’t paying attention when they handed out the brawn.
I’m laughing SO hard right now!! But not in the mean way…
I was in your exact shoes when I started boot camp. Except I didn’t cry in the car. I cried at boot camp. Hot, stinging tears that involuntarily leaked from my eyes.
After a few weeks of doing it, it’s soooo much better. Promise. It’s like your body just knows what it’s in for. Soon enough you’ll be leading the group, instead of being behind…promise!
Hmmm, I dunno, Jasmine. I think that after two months, if I was going to be anywhere but last, I’d have gotten there.
I too am a Booty Camp drop out for the same reason – feeling like I was doing my best and always coming in last and having the instructor tell me I can do more – um, no, really I can’t! (I had a week left on my pre-payment as well). I decided to take a little time off from exercising and have asked “Santa” (aka my mom) for a gym membership where I can take classes and just run on the treadmill at my own pace instead. I agree with the people who have said we are grown ups now and it’s ok to quit something that just isn’t working for us anymore. I toughed it out for about 8 months, got in the mindset to exercise and now I’m going to do with it without feeling like a failure every day (oh, and now I won’t have to get up at the crack of dawn anymore!). Good for you and thanks for sharing your story, now I don’t feel so alone!
Good for you for being honest with yourself about what works and doesn’t work for you! Isn’t exercise more beneficial when it improves both physical and mental health? I’m wondering if you would you ever consider a dance class of some sort. I’ve taken ballet and salsa classes in conjunction with yoga, and have been very pleased with the results. Ballet’s tough, but empowering in much the same way as yoga. Keep up the strong attitude!
One of my yoga instructors pointed out that with most exercise, you’ll do anything to avoid paying attention to the feelings in your body. You’ll listen to music, chat with a workout buddy, talk on your cell, watch TV—anything to take your mind off what you’re doing. But with yoga, the whole point is in being wholly present to the practice.
Good for you! Some people are into recreational (exercise-induced) vomit. (Seriously, there is this whole Cross Fit movement that actually prints shirts with puke buckets (!))If it’s not for you, it’s not for you.
Fish – good on you for realizing something isn’t working for you! I am just now teaching a course on Motivation, and taught a section on how boot camp-style exercises are not beneficial for people as it relies on external sources of motivation. (i.e., rewards and punishments…but heavy on the latter) It’s less likely that those individuals will stick with the program long term…bottom line, find something you enjoy doing (yoga?) and you’re more likely to develop intrinsic motivation, which will mean persistence, effort , and engagement!
Vomiting in your mouth is your body’s way of saying, “WTF are you DOING to me?! For the love of God, SLOW DOWN!!”
I give you credit for even TRYING Boot Camp.
love love love yoga. it’s so interesting what you can do with your own body, and how stretching can make you stronger.
i remember hearing you talk about bikram (hot room) yoga right? is this the yoga you are continuing to do? i love it! i go once or twice a week in the winter.
I think I have mentioned this too many times to mention but I did 8, yes EIGHT boot camps and in the fitness test I would come last in the 2 km run EVERY.SINGLE. EFFING. TIME. Doesn’t matter if I was running against a fat, 50 year old newb they would kick my arse. Mega humiliating. In the end I would just skip the fitness tests.
So I totally feel you.
Good for you! A workout should not be vomit-inducing and humiliating AT ALL. I never understood Boot Camp types of workouts like this if it just makes everyone feel like a loser and miserable. There’s nothing wrong with having a trainer push you, but this sounds ridiculous.
I was going to ask if you had ever done hot yoga but from some of the comments, it looks like maybe you have. I think hot yoga is yoga boot camp! And it’s awesome. And you lose weight and de-stress and detox. Way better than a crappy boot camp.
Yes, I do hot yoga – three to five times a week. I agree – it’s so much gentler than boot camp with the same sort of satisfaction.
Please allow me to 2nd (or 3rd, or 134th)all the “good for you”s. For a variety of reasons which have all been discussed before and you don’t need me to re-iterate.
May I throw this idea into the kitty, though? (whoa. what a mental picture THAT is.) Maybe not-so-much of the “weight off” but maybe a tone& sculpt approach? Your body might have decided what its best weight is, and since you’ve got happy faces on your cholesterol and all, you might be in an acceptance position of the numbers on Mr. Scale. Might be- this is just a thought.
But what I’ve found out is that you can, to some extent, choose how you carry those numbers with exercise that focuses on sculpting. I dig Pilates for this (and a lot of other reasons), but other options abound. And if the numbers on Mr. Scale change, fine. But your strength goes up and your shape changes, and that’s better. Since when did you want to run pell-mell until you vomit, anyway??!
(And you looked just lovely in the wedding photo, by the way.)