For me, New Years resolutions are sorta like vermouth – a splash or two is nice, I guess, but not at all the point of the martini. In other words, I can take ‘em or leave ‘em. I tend to make changes when they need making. Like, when I have to do the sumo squat dance to get into the biggest, stretchiest pair of jeans in my wardrobe, it’s time to reevaluate my position on things like exercise, melted cheese, and beer. You’ll recall that blessed moment came at the end of September when I joined a boot camp and learned what pain really is. Three months later, I’m close to my fitness goal and back to eating smaller, healthier meals and enjoying the good stuff in moderation. So, I guess if I have a resolution, it’s to keep on keeping on.
There are some other things I’m working on, that I plan to continue with enthusiasm in the new year – and the new decade (I wrote a check yesterday dated January 1, and wouldn’t you know, I got the year right on my first try. THAT will be difficult to maintain), and here they are in no particular order:
Variety. I cooked with parsnips the other day. Parsnips! I’d never done that before. I’m going to try to add a new ingredient or recipe to my arsenal a few times a month now because boy, those two crazy little root vegetables sure did make me feel exotic.
Patience. Learning how to be part of a functional, happy couple has meant I’ve had to make a lot of mental adaptations. Giving up the sick addiction to constant disappointment I’d formed over the years has been a lot harder than you would imagine. Even harder than that, though, has been giving up the need for control over every aspect of my own sphere – the direction and time line my life follows. I’m trying to be more patient.
Mirth. In September I realized that if I was going to be really happy, I needed to take back some time and energy for myself. The Boy is a night owl. And in being much more disciplined about eating and exercise, it has meant a lot more early to bed, early to rise for me. I got really boring. Now, I was okay with that. Until I realized how much it was upsetting the Dork Lord to attend so many late nights out alone. So, in a compromise between discipline and mirth, I’m trying to be more fun – even when going out and spending time with the boy’s friends means staying up past my bed time and throwing myself headlong into the temptations of the dirty martini. Four olives, please.
Finding (your) balance is always an excellent goal. It makes for a much richer, more interesting life. In a good way, of course.
Happy New Year to you. Hope this is your best one yet and that it brings you a lot of love and happiness.
Fish, in all seriousness, could you shed some light on this statement for us please? “Giving up the sick addiction to constant disappointment I’d formed over the years has been a lot harder than you would imagine.”
I know that you don’t generally discuss your relationship with the Dork Lord. But perhaps you could tell us how you did this without giving us the gory details? I wonder sometimes if my expectations are just too high (like, when he says I should phone after the movie but then he doesn’t answer my call, I tend to take it personally) or if should I just accept that men cannot be consistent in the way they treat women?
so what you’re saying is i didn’t invent the sumo squat dance? good to know.
“Giving up the sick addiction to constant disappointment I’d formed over the years has been a lot harder than you would imagine.” So wonderfully worded, you’ve nailed a phenomenon I have lived so perfectly.
@Mrs. Greg House: What this has meant for ME (can’t speak for Fish)is keeping my eye on the big picture that, in general, he treats me well and just because he didn’t answer that one call doesn’t mean he ALWAYS ignores me. Sure, he lets me down or annoys me sometimes, but it’s not a symptom of some underlying dysfunction, it’s part of being in a long-term relationship. He shows up for the big stuff and that’s what counts.
High fives… they sound great! I tried to be much more honest in ’09 but I’m editing that in ’10 to honest with discretion. People want the truth but they don’t need the whole truth all the time.
What’s the point of having a girlfriend if a Dork Lord can’t show her off? That’s one reason to have a man — someone to go out on the town with. If you don’t do that, what’s the point? Get over your discipline a little and enjoy life before you get knocked up and start having little babies. If you start acting like a married couple before you’re married, you’ll be wanting to be a single person again.
Uh, yeah, isn’t that what I just said, only not in asshat speak?
Heather really… Is there anything better than a martini?… Extra dirty for me. I like to live. Extra olives means more olive than booze. I have been reading for years. I’m happy for you. But I can’t help but wonder when you’re going to stop ‘celebrating the single life’. I mean they are noticing, right? And Im asking because I really really need your blog to not disappear. Really. Although on paper we have nothing in common, I relate so much. You have written so many blogs that brought me to tears… The ‘dad’ blogs, the one about seeing the guy even though it’s someone else, and many others. I need this to not stop because I’m truly happy for you. But hey I need something to get me through, you know?
I’m very very happy for all the wonderful things in your life. I’ve been reading for years and love to know that it has happened for someone else. Gives me hope.
Happy New Year!!! Hope you have a fantastic one!
Great resolutions! Everyone could use a little more mirth.
And speaking of parsnips…you have to try this recipe.
http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/maple-ginger-roasted-vegetables-with-pecans
SO good!
Speaking of resolutions, mine is to make a budget and stick to it for as long as I can. You seem pretty good at that – can you tell me how you do it? how do you come up with a budget? How do you stick to it? This may seem simple, but I’ve never had to do this before, but i really need to.
I’m not a Serious Resolutions kind-of gal…but I am trying to clean up my mouth just a little. Listerine ain’t gonna do it, kids. After years of working as a theatrical electrician “with the boys”, I sometimes come off as more of a sailor than I want to (I said “more of”; a girl needs a little bit of pirate in her background, if you ask me!) And now that I work in a holistic health office, it can be a little…awkward.
So, I’m all about substitutions these days. I have “Crimniny” and “Jiminy Christmas” (although, that sometimes turns into “Jiminy f#$%^&* Christmas!”- just has such a good, ridiculous ring to it!) But the point is- I mean, why I’m posting this here, Heather- is that I can count on your posts for some really good ones. I particularly like “mother of bob” and “sweet baby J”. Keep ‘em coming! Otherwise I’m going to sound like a complete dip, uh, stick. If I don’t already. %-)
(Although, there is still sometimes a good reason for the apt placement of a good curse. As in, “asshat language”. Well-said.)
Patience. Tell me about it. How were you able to give up this “addiction??” I’m just starting to realize that I have some bad relationship habits that I need to break. But I don’t know how!!
Tips??