the anti-fun

On pain of sounding like a total meanie – as if ranting about new neighbors didn’t rocket me to codger status – I get gigantic happiness goosebumps when I read scathing reviews of Miley Cyrus’ “acting” in The Last Song. Whee! Let’s all hate on Miley together! She’s awful (so awful!) and talks like she has dental cotton stuck in her mouth (so much dental cotton!) there should be, I don’t know, a song about how sad it is that America has made her famous.

Also on pain of sounding like a codger, a meanie and a gigantic party pooper, I hate (HATE!) April Fool’s Day. The jokes, for the most part, seem to fall into two categories: the what about that is a good joke kind or the damaging kind. I have a really rich interior life. I make up stories and fibs and half realities all the time but – and here’s the key – I keep them to myself. Or, I write them down as fiction. But mostly, I keep them to myself. Because when you go public with those kinds of untruths and tell perhaps, Facebook, that you won a MAJOR AWARD! or eloped with a handsome stranger! or just got some horrible news! only to reveal that ha ha, it was all a big lie, it just makes you look sad. Like you shoulda kept that story for you and your imaginary friends and basked in all the imaginary congratulations/sympathy in private. Because now you are exposed. We know how your brain works and that’s like knowing details about your underwears.

There’s something really wrong with me, isn’t there?

24 comments to the anti-fun

  • Amanda

    and isn’t it funny that she was a celebrity “coach” on American Idol. As if she has the right to tell someone else to watch their pitch.

  • Traci N

    Nope. Nothing wrong with you.

    I did once use 4/1 to tell my mother I was engaged. It was a bit mean. But, it DID slow down the incessant questions of “have I found someone” and comments like “maybe you are too picky.” I think the mean:effective ratio made it worth it!

  • Ann

    I love the idea of a song about how sad it is that America has made her famous. Because it’s true that it’s sad that she’s so famous. And many others like her.

    And don’t feel bad – ditto on the April Fool’s Day feelings.

  • Mels

    Ha. This is funny because a few hours ago I considered putting on my FB that my boyfriend and I were engaged… but then I changed my mind, knowing how crappy it would feel to change it back to “in a relationship” when all of my friends and family know I would obviously prefer to be engaged!

    Maybe you should make your FB status that you just adored Miley in The Last Song. That would be pretty funny to hear all of the “whats?!?!” from your friends!

  • Raine

    I completely agree with you. On both counts, actually. I avoid everyone and everything on April Fool’s; the internet is such a liar today.

    Although, when I was little, I did saran wrap the toilet bowl. Hilarious.

  • Rachel

    I think the same can be applied to Justin Beiber. I do NOT get his popularity. And I’m disappointed in America for liking him so.

  • Andrea

    I so feel you on the Facebook April Fools Day thing. My status today is “Andrea isn’t pregnant, engaged, a lottery winner, I didn’t break my leg or lose my job, and thinks that April Fools Day is just really stupid. The End.”

    As for Miley Cyrus, every time I see that damn commercial for The Last Song, which has aired more than any other movie commercial that I can remember, I want to stab myself. Ugh.

  • Couldn’t agree with you more on both accounts. I totally blogged about how much I hate April Fools today too!

  • KIm

    Nothing wrong with you, in fact this is eerily reminiscent of my facebook status today. I would also add to the annoyance of the day that if someone does give news (like saying their wife is pregnant) you can’t figure out if it’s true or not because they have been known to be “prankish” on April Fool’s Day and I refuse to give them the satisfaction of asking.

    If it is a joke, that’s stupid.

    If it’s not, bad timing dude.

  • shannon

    Watching the truly unwatchable “American Idol” last night (really Usher? “boobies” as a song lyric complete with dancers pantomiming the display of their girls?) I saw this Justin Bieber child interviewed. Um. WHAT? This tiny squirt has the #1 selling album in the country? This country is officially in the toilet. And I have officially turned into my mother.

  • CaliGal

    Oh I’m feelin’ ya today, Fish! :)

  • jamie

    I have no intention of seeing that ridiculous Miley Cyrus movie, but I have a question for anyone that might know… do they have some explanation for her total lack of a NY accent when in the preview they show a clip of her saying she’s from NY? Can’t she even TRY?

  • Robin

    I don’t acknowledge April Fool’s exists. I’ve found that by not reacting in any way to anything prankish, people have quit trying to pull anything on me.

    And I just ignore everything I read on the internet. Though I did have to pause at the google logo today. :)

  • lawyerchik1

    Totally in agreement on Miley Cyrus – and on April Fools’ Day jokes, pranks or whatever it is the kids are calling them these days. Fortunately, I’m apparently considered to be too old to either participate in or fall for those anymore. …. But I’m OK with that.

  • Ugh, schmiley schyrus. Did you see what Google did? That was funny. Gmail too. My friend announced it was his birthday on facebook. That was mildly amusing and doesn’t fall into either of your categories. Especially because most of his facebook friends know that his birthday is in June and outed him. But, in general, it surprises me how some people have a terrible sense of humour. Meanwhile, I like when you’re a codger ;)

  • crescive

    Shannon-I completely agree with you about Idol.

    Usher was careful to keep his song clean by clearly saying “Oh my GOSH” while the rest of the lyrics talk about the girl’s body parts & says how he’s in love with her. What? It was awful!

  • Jessie

    Hey–ee-ayyyy-ee-ay-ee-ay, anti-Miley in the USA…

    :)

  • Yes, thank you! I hate those stupid ‘Gottcha’ jokes as well. First thing in the am yesterday, I got a message from a friend that her boyfriend of about 9 months had proposed and they were going to get married in June. I sent her some really heartfelt congratulations- only to hear from some mutual friends an hour later about how it sucked that it wasn’t true, just another of her stupid April Fools jokes. How is that even funny? ‘Ha ha, I was so happy for you, aren’t I stupid?’ Its actually just lying.

    And maybe this is because I am also a Golden Girl at the ripe old age of 35- I’ve called the police twice in the past two weeks to complain about my noisy neighbors. I’m just waiting for AARP to get wind of this and put me on their mailing list.

  • Alyssa (the 40 year-old)

    Add me to the mix of haters of April Fools’ Day. I couldn’t even get the forecast yesterday morning ’cause the local news put it in celcius as a joke! Don’t MAKE me do math at 6:30 AM!!!!

    (Although I did like the huge cups o’ coffee Starbucks put out for the day. That was pretty funny and harmed no one.)

    As for Miley, well, I just kinda feel bad for her. And, yes, if I see another preview for that movie I might just smash my TV.

  • I’ve also recently developed a habit of shaking my fist at passing teenagers for no particular reason other than the fact I’m turning into an old fart.

    And Miley Cyrus is the anti-christ.

  • Hate Miley, Hate April Fool’s Day, right there being an old meanie with you!

  • Aubrie

    For the love of all that is good and pure…Thank you. I HATE Miley. And I am not a hateful person (seriously!). But holy heavens, does her face/voice/crappy attitude annoy the ever-livin’ out of me.

  • Don

    Hah – maybe she can audition for a Corleone part in a ‘Godfather’ movie (that’s what you were egging us on to say) or the Easter bunny in Cadbury commercial or eating matzoh (bread of hasty acting). Enjoy the Easter parade. But self-deprecating humor? Don’t apologize – Rooney from ’60 minutes’ never does.

  • Amanda

    I hate April Fool’s Day too, and I was thinking the same thing! How is it someone can think it’s funny to play a “joke” that causes someone to have a mini panic attack? “I’m pregnant!” was one “joke” I saw posted on facebook. Some workers at my husband’s job thought it’d be funny to tell someone they’d been fired. That’s only 2 of the un-funny, April Fool’s jokes I came across.

    So glad I’m not the only one that dispises this awful day.