The Dork Lord will often go out in the evening after his homework is done and I’m off to bed (one of us gets up at 5AM and the other gets really dirty looks from his fiancee) to hang out with his friends and watch sports or play video games. I know. If men stop being twelve-year-old boys at some point, I am unaware of it.
When he gets home, he’s not ready for bed, so he’ll sit down for a little special time with whatever mega dork science program he’s got saved on the DVR. And then he’ll fall asleep. Because, despite his protestations, that stuff actually is as boring and the rest of us think it is. Or he’s really tired.
Some mornings, I have to wake him and send his silly arse up to bed so I can turn on the kitchen light to make coffee. Some nights, he crawls into bed at 3, waking me up in the process, and well, some of us aren’t gifted with Instant Sleep Syndrome. WE NEED TO BE LULLED. There are plenty of times I don’t get back to sleep at all and that’s about as pretty as it sounds. So…
So I started hiding the sofa cushions.
Don’t tell him they’re in the downstairs tub behind the shower curtain. This is working well for both of us at present.
That is absolutely fantastic!!! I am very protective of my sleep too so I don’t blame you one bit.
So glad you’re back. You were missed. Hope your weekend is much less eventful than your week was – and in a good way.
BRILLIANT!!!!!!
Very good post, Heather. I am an italian translator and I have necessity to speak to you…
Can you give me your e.mail adress, please?
Daniela,
Thisfish at gmail dot com
Do you guys have a TV in your room? If so, I recommend he record the shows on that TV, then buy a pair of wireless headphones to watch them in bed. You don’t hear anything, and if the light bothers you, then you can wear an eyemask. That way he’s not stumbling into bed late, and he still gets to watch his show.
Best $40 I ever spent, and revolutionized my relationship, those headphones.
I love it! I will never tell….
Hahaha! Golden! If you have any tips to get a boy to stop snoring (which, yes, is very different but I’m going out of my mind. I’ve snapped at the two-year mark) please pass them on! ahaha!
Hello!! So glad to see your blog back. Didn’t think anything bad happened, though – just thought iVillage lost their minds or something.
-from a very appreciative reader.