Thanks to Craig, who I don’t know but know feel very compelled to buy lots and lots of beer for, and with the assist by Brooke*, the Herculean task is achieved. The comments from the last 8 years are restored! Some of them – the, “I hate you and now I’m never reading your blog again!” kind, – I could do without, but hey, you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have…
How’s that for an earworm? Eighties theme songs for the win!
Thanks again, fellas. You’re my heroes.
* If you are looking for part-time work and you haven’t been to Hour.ly, please hop on over. This thing is brilliant. Hooking my little sister up with a writing gig in Austin as we speak.
I think you owe your readers an apology. You sought comments about the video gaming conundrum, and they/we provided some. I think I read every comment and all of them seemed to be coming from a sensitive perspective. It seems, to me, that perhaps you became uncomfortable with some truths and then blamed it on what was being offered before cutting it off.
Sheila, I said that I appreciated the comments, but that some of them were getting overwhelming. And that’s the truth. I asked to hear I wasn’t alone – that other people had faced the same situation. And I got a lot of that – plus helpful advice on how they worked through that similar situation. What I ALSO got was a lot of dread and gloom. And maybe that was a feeling that I took from the comments, more than was intended. Regardless, I came right out and said was overwhelming. Uncomfortable, overwhelming. I wasn’t disguising it in any way.
I needed some time to process things, to work on them in our actual relationship. More comments in the same vein weren’t going to do anything except overwhelm me further, so I turned them off. I didn’t delete any, I didn’t argue with any, I didn’t disrespect anyone or discredit their opinions. I just needed to do what was good for me. I guess I’m not sure what I owe an apology for?
I’m genuinely sorry you’re offended. I don’t know what I did to cause the offense, though. I take all of this very personally – what I put out there as much as what I get back. I would hope that everyone knows there isn’t going to be a resolution immediately following a post like that. What’s we’re going through is tough stuff. A lot of the commenters acknowledged that their situations took counseling and months and years of working together.
Anyway. I’m sorry if there was something lacking in what I said when I closed the comments that would have better conveyed why I did it. I needed to take some time out. That’s all.
I think you explained yourself quite well. Both here and on the other post.
Some of the doom and gloom was making me uncomfortable and it wasn’t my relationship we were talking about. I think you were very clear in why you closed the comments and were suitably appreciative of the support/comments/advice and help that were offered to you.
Hurrah for comments coming back. They make some of the old posts fully what the are.
I agree. That’s really the best part – the conversation. I’m pretty damn glad to have them back! And, yeah, I still don’t understand what I did that was so wrong. It’s such a personal thing, to comment on the state of someone’s relationship, that I don’t know why anyone would feel… entitled (is that the wrong word?) to do it endlessly, without some understanding of how it would affect the other person. Believe me, I read every single comment and they stick with me.
Speak for yourself, Sheila. You don’t owe me any apologies, Fish. You take care of you.
Love your new site. You outdid yourself. Take that iVillage!!!
Ummm … “you take them both & there you have …”.
Is it sad that I thought of that before you threw down your challenge! Amazing I ever learned about computers with all of the time that I spent watching ‘classic’ 80′s TV as a kid. We have proudly taught our 5 year old “What you talking about Willis” but Im not sure that she quite understands its cultural importance … yet!
Whoo hoo! We all love Craig!
By the way is Craig single? He seems a nice man and I have lots of nice friends I could introduce him to!
Ha! Oh, Craaaaig, the nice lady would like to fix you up…
I guess this is crazy ole me, but I will never get the people who feel they need an apology for stuff like closing comments on a blog post.
What’s with the entitlement? It’s YOUR blog. Sure, it’s a community, and you’re more than respectful of that community.
I mean, c’mon. An apology? For what? I delete comments from my blog I don’t like. Or don’t publish them. It’s my blog. Plenty of blogs that I’ve spent plenty of time reading have done things I didn’t like, like painful ads and product placements (sorry, Dooce). I stopped reading. (Closing comments has never been a problem though, especially about something so personal.)
What continues to amaze me, Heatherfish, is how open and honest you continue to be here. It’s refreshing. And I consider it a privilege to be able to take the journey with you as you confront so much stuff I’ve confronted myself (I had to hold my boyfriends hand while we put down his pal of 7 years, my pal of one year, and it was wrenching. I couldn’t even read all of your posts on the topic) and stuff I’m coming up on (my own engagement isn’t long off, and lordy what will I do about this name business???).
So, thank you. And thanks for continuing to politely dismiss the self-righteous complaints.
Agreed! Could not have said it more eloquently! No apologies needed!
Fish… you need not apologize to anyone…
I’m not sure if Sheila was able to comment or not before the comments were turned off. So I’m going with she didn’t get the chance to give her 2 cents worth. Maybe that’s why she feels she deserves an apology. *sigh*
No apology needed here though. Thank you for sharing everything you share with us Fish. It gives me the chance to live vicariously through you.
You know, I would agree, but Sheila did comment. She said,
Heather,
I hope you do not regret writing that (video game) post. It helped me think some things through! Thank you! I’m not married…so my opinion means nada (although my opinion, if married, would still mean nada)…but it sounds to me that you are making some wise decisions right now. Yes…working through things that need to be discussed and thought through before you walk down the aisle…but also giving the fiance space and time and such. I like it!
DJ
Thanks for the reference to hour.ly. I showed it to my wife (recovering from 10 years of stay-at-home motherhood) and she is intrigued. If anyone has more feedback about the site please let me know.
@Isophorone – I built hour.ly and would be more than happy to answer any questions you or your wife might have. It’s really kind of a simple idea but we (my wife & I) just want to match people to the jobs that they want/can do. Anyhow, Im new to this fish but Heather will vouch for me. We’ve been friends for a number of years and even worked together way back when. You’re welcome to email me at brooke@hour.ly
Thanks!
Brooke