On Friday afternoon, when I got the email from a local community center looking for volunteer math tutors, I thought, “What kismet! The Dork Lord and I are perfect for this gig!”
The Boy is well suited because over the last year and a half, he’s been back in school doing math. And I’m qualified because I’ve been right there helping him. You know, by standing over his shoulder going, “Uh, yeah, I think it’s SOH CAH TOA.”
Those kids are so lucky, they don’t even know. Experts. We even have a graphing calculator! Nice, right?
Actually, for all my tongue-in-cheek and despite my 16 year absence from the math classroom, I’m pretty good at the basics. I figure, they’re 7th and 8th graders so at most, we’ll have to tackle some proofs (long and windy, but logical) or some algebra (I confess, I love algebra in a sick, sick way). Totally doable. Pythagoras is my boo.
The year before I started this blog, I volunteered for a similar project in Boston. It wasn’t math specific, but once a week I’d carpool out to some town that started with an N and help two 8th grade girls with their homework. My goodness, they were precious. And frightening. The things they knew! And we’re not talking curriculum here. At 22, fresh out of BYU, I was considerably more naive about the big bad world.
Angela was tall, brash, holy-cow-smart, Puerto Rican and anything but naive. Every night for months after our second or third week of tutoring, Angie would call me to talk about anything but homework. “Mami,” she’d say, “you will not belieeeeeve what happened.” She was usually right. It was all pretty unbelievable to a recovering Mormon kid who had done precisely nothing that was not strictly prescribed by The Rules.
If I was good at the school stuff, though, I excelled at the extra-curriculars. My whole life I’ve been a sister. It’s not something that requires a refresher course. So many times, my end of the phone would be one long sigh of relief – and pride, I’ll admit – when Angie would relent, “Well, fiiiine, mami, I won’t do it.” Smoking, boys, whatever. I hoped I was doing something good and lasting.
And then she was gone. Just like that. It was weeks before word got back to me that her father, out of prison and angry, had murdered her mother on their doorstep in plain view of her children and the next day, Angie was sent to live with her grandmother in Puerto Rico. Another thing I could never quite believe.
I had essentially forgotten about Angie until Friday – about what happened to her - even though I keep her school photo (signed with hearts) in a box somewhere in my closet. I run across it every few years when I move. I’m harboring these hopes of tracking her down on Facebook one day, but regrettably, of all the things I knew about Angie, her last name was not one of them.
Kudos on the gig! Hoping you get it because I know those that you tutor will definitely benefit from your knowledge.
Wow, what a sad story for Angie. One can only hope that she faired well and is happy in her life now.
KNOW that YOU made a major impact on her young life and KNOW that she remembers you and will never forget you.
Holy cow! I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to hear that news. I wonder if you did some searching of the Boston newspapers at the time if you couldn’t find an article about her mother’s murder. Surely it made the paper – at least a police report – and perhaps her mother’s full name would be given.
Good luck with this new tutoring endeavor!
That is the most sad thing I think I’ve ever read. I was expecting a happy ending.
But, good for you and all the tutoring. I used to want to be a Big Sister for the neighborhood groups but wasn’t ever really brave enough.
Yeah, I’m sorry – that was a downer, wasn’t it? I wasn’t planning on going there, but it was on my mind. Maybe the math tutoring will be a second chance to do some good.
You definitely made an impact on Angie and I agree with Jen, you should look the story up in the newspaper. Then you can find her on facebook and give us a happy ending.
Aw. Can you guys come to S.C. to help my b.f. with his calculus homework? I’ll bake you delicious treats. Seriously. I make mean brownies and cakes. Oh and pies.
Do you have Big Brothers Big Sisters in your area? I bet you would be great at that too.
I volunteer at an animal shelter. I love it but I’m trying to find something else (volunteering) to do too. I want something where I can meet a lot of nice people.
I did peer tutoring for a couple of years through the schools and it was wonderful (meaning I’d tutor someone a few years younger than me) and I realized most of these kids were poor or unpopular or just generally going through a hard time, not behind really. They’d whip through whatever assignment we had to have time to play an educational game with me or just chat and draw or whatever. i honestly don’t remember their names but up until I graduated from the district and went to high school, whenever I went back to school for anything, they remembered me.
It’s wonderful that you’re getting back involved. I tutored some middle schoolers while in college. I’d like to think I helped them, but I’m pretty sure they taught me more than I taught them. For instance, one of the girls I worked with was the cutest thing. She got in all sorts of trouble with her teachers, but she was such a sweetheart when you got to know her. Every day after school, she went to church on her own, then cooked herself dinner, then attempted to do her homework on her own until her mom got home at around 11pm. While she attempted to do her homework, here mom rarely had time to help her. So, if she didn’t know how to do the assignment, she just wouldn’t turn it in (hence the massive amounts of trouble she got in). I remember giving her pencils and paper one day and her reacting like I had given her a million dollars. I gave her a book and it was the first book she had ever owned. It seriously broke my heart. I think about her every now and again and hope she’s doing well, too.
I hope Angela’s doing well, too. How tragic to have to go through so much at such a young age. I’m sure she was as affected by her time with you as you were. Even if she doesn’t realize it, I’m sure that relationship she had with you has helped her over the years.
(I’ve never commented on your blog before, but I’ve been reading for a while – I, too, like the new site much better!)
It’s great that you’re getting involved. It really makes me want to, as well.
That story is tragic, Fish. That poor child.
Poor Angie
That makes me sad. I agree – there’s gotta be something in the archives of the Boston newspaper. As far as the math tutoring, that’s freakin awesome. I second your love of algebra! I skipped 3rd grade because of my math skills and my mind just loves to think in numbers and percentages.
I’m sorry about Angie, I know you made a huge impact on that girl. For whatever reason it never feels that great on our part as mentors but it makes a huge difference for them. I too am looking for one of my mentees, whose last name I can’t remember and whose name was Jesus in metro Atlanta, that pretty much narrows it down to about a million!
Thanks so much for sharing that story. I have been thinking about doing something similar myself. Can I just be a little bit picky though? Being a Puerto Rican does not make one an immigrant since Puerto Rico, while not a state of the US, is considered a territory and therefore Puerto Ricans are US citizens. It’s my pet peeve, as a Puerto Rican myself. Angie’s story made me sad, and I hope that you will be able to reconnect with her on FB. Hopefully she is doing better in the PR! Thanks much for your blog and for sharing.
Thank you for the correction.
So sad.
As someone who works with victims of domestic violence, I just wanted to say thank you for what you did. Our victims and their children rarely have much going for them, so I know you made a difference to her.