I apologize that posting has been so spotty the last week or so – it’s a wee bit of a challenge keeping up with the blog (email, Facebook, Twitter, bills, People Magazine – you know, important things) without having a computer at home.
Living without “stuff” has meant that our down time is spent in more of an Amish fashion – and aside from the difficulties with my freelance work and the Dork Lord’s school, really not horrible. So we read instead of watch the next item in our Netflix queue or go on a walk instead of putter around on the interwebs. These are good things (the walks, especially. Living on melted cheese and beer is not exactly calorie efficient) and were I able to kick that pervasive feeling of ickiness with regard to the robbery, I could feign being largely unaffected.
Except, I’m nervous most of the time now. And if you thought I was high strung before, well, I won’t lie – I’m a little less likable in this state. That said, I believe most of this is attitude, feeling sorry for myself is getting old, and henceforth (until I forget) I will direct my focus to the positive.
Like, the fabric that I fell in love with? The shop in London didn’t have enough. Now it must be special ordered from India and will take six weeks. Could that be a huge inconvenience? It could. But it could also mean I have more time to tone up these arms before trying on my wedding dress in front of floor to ceiling, three-way mirrors. Bright side!
Or like, the inspection didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. I haven’t really had time to formulate a bright side for that one, but I’m sure it’s there!
This weekend, I’m committed to sitting down and writing thank you notes. I’m so lucky, you guys, for how supportive you’ve been – and for Maura, who (on top of doing our wedding invitations) offered to design and print This Fish thank you notes so that I could say danke schoen in style. The cards arrived yesterday and are absolutely delightful! Naturally. Everything she touches is gold and I can’t wait to send these beauties to you!
I suppose that the only downside to all this delight is, I have run out of ways to express my appreciation to her (and to all of you, for that matter). Thank you is beginning to seem so very insufficient. If only I had a skill like… interpretive dance.
You could throw a big giant pity part right now and no one would fault you. But you are choosing to view all of this as positively as anyone could…and I think that’s awesome.
This has nothing to do with anything and may not interest you in the least, but I have found you through the oddest path. PBS left a comment on my blog. I NEVER see PBS on my blog so I followed him/her home. I saw a very old blogroll with The Peanut Queen and Magpie on it. I clicked Peanut Queen and saw that her blog is gone. I clicked Magpie and saw that she hasn’t blogged since 2008, as I had thought. I followed Magpie’s blogroll and found you. So many retired blogs. It’s sad to see. But now, because of Magpie, active or not, I have found you.
Just keep blogging! That’s all the thanks we need
ditto.
Agreed! All we need is our Fish blog!
thirded.
Oh my gosh, I just relocated you! I was wondering where you went!
Anyhow, my husband and I bought our house almost 3 years ago and 3 weeks after we moved in, our house was broken into. It was a new neighborhood and we didn’t know anyone. The worst part was that the night before, someone was ringing our doorbell and we saw people slinking around our backyard. We called the cops but the guys took off. The next day, I left for 2 hours and they robbed us.
Its been years and I still get uneasy at night sometimes. It is a complete violation of your privacy and safety and just getting new stuff doesn’t make that go away. I went to my doctor for medicine for anxiety, because I couldn’t sleep either. I had nightmares. I got up in the middle of the night to look out the windows and double check the locks on the doors. Even now, I can’t fall asleep until I double check every door and window.
There’s no shame in what you’re dealing with and anyone who expects you to just pick up and move on right away has obviously never been robbed. But most people understand.
You’re allowed to be angry and scared. Its amazing that you’re so choosing to be so positive in light of a really craptastic situation. But getting over things like this take time, so don’t be so hard on yourself. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself and letting yourself deal with it appropriately.
Hang in there! You’re doing great!
Also, this new site is rockin! I’m so glad I found it (eventually).
The bright side to the inspection is that the inspector actually caught the things that are wrong. It sounds like you got a great inspector & you’re (hopefully) moving into the house with the issues fixed. Or at the very least aware of the problems that’ll need to be fixed and have that negotiated into the price of the house. That’s much better than things popping up that you didn’t know about and not having budgeted for them.
In my experience, a great inspection of a house that’s not brand spanking new is a sign of a lazy inspector, not a great house.
I’m so happy that you’re leaving the apartment. After I got broken into, I never got over it as long as I lived in that house… I lived with the fear for 6 years until it was second nature to wake up 3 times a night for every creak & sound. When I moved out I couldn’t believe the freedom that I felt! (and what a good night’s sleep felt like)
If it makes you feel any better (I hope it does!) no inspection is going to be great. Even on a brand new home… When I got mine back I cried and swore I would rent forever. But the inspector (who was married to my best friend, thankfully someone I trusted at the time.) went through and explained each issue to me and what it would take to fix it. He said any inspector should do that. You can also negotiate for the sellers to fix some of the issues. One of the things that came back bad ended up being a total pain in my butt 2 years later when I had to gut the bathroom because the new bathtub wasn’t level, then cracked and rotted the subfloor. But I got to gut the bathroom, learned that I LOVE demolition and I rock at tiling. So it wasn’t all bad. And now I have a bathroom that I love!
I am really sorry things have been crap for you lately. A lot of my people have just had issue after issue since right after Christmas. It has been crazy! Hope things level out to a happy “normal” for you SOON!
I second Carrie on the inspection. It’s the inspector’s job to find things wrong, but a lot of the time those are things that won’t actually end up being problems. When I purchased my house the inspector brought up problems with the electrical board, a broken fireplace flue, and a rodent problem (among another dozen items that weren’t fixed and that I can’t even remember since there haven’t been any problems). The sellers fixed the rodent problem, but swore they’d been living with the fireplace and electrical board since 1982 and there were no problems, so they refused to fix and I was okay with it.
When I met my now husband he decided we should have a fire, but I told him the flue was broken and we’d be smoked out. He took a look (he’s a contractor) and said it wasn’t broken. We’ve been happily enjoying fires ever since with zero issues. We also haven’t had any problems with anything electrical. Incidentally, when I sold my condo at the same time as I bought the house, that inspection also came back with an electrical “problem” the buyer wanted fixed. I said no because I’d never had any issues, and we still closed.
You know the sellers, right? Talk to them about the inspection and what issues they actually agree with. I’m sure they’d be willing to negotiate fixes on any real problems because they’ll probably have to fix those things no matter who they sell to. They may also be able to ease your mind on problems that maybe aren’t really problems. Good luck, Fish!
Nothing says thank you as much as chocolat!
Dear Heather,
Skill or not- I’d pay good money to see that interpretive dance.
Other readers have left very helpful and positive comments about the inspection- definitely listen to their insight and also go with your gut. If you love love LOVE the house, hopefully you can live with its issues and fix them over time, if they’re really needed. Five years ago I moved into a bungalow with lots of issues and I’ve addressed very few of them- and it hasn’t affected me negatively one bit. Your decision to go with the positive mental attitude is going to make you a winner in this, no matter what!
Definitely a plus that the inspector catches things now – otherwise, you would be enjoying the beauty and magic of your new home when something would break, or crack, or fall apart, which would ruin the ambience – plus, it probably would be expensive to fix!!
We bought our house about 18 months ago and although it was listed clearly “as is” (a fact our realtor repeatedly told us) we stood firm about things we wanted fixed. It is definitely different because you are friendly with the seller but just make sure you guys put yourselves first.
Either way, great idea doing the wedding planning and house buying at the same time. Way to kick stress’ a**!!
Heather-
Let me know if you want me to go by the fabric shop here in London. I’m happy to twist a couple of pasty Anglo arms to see if we can speed up the process OR get them to refer another fabric shop.
We got everything sorted for my wedding in ATX. Now I’ve got a year to sift through the vintage details…
-Emily