After tomorrow evening, provided I do not get axe-murdered and buried in pieces in shallow graves throughout Central Park, I should have a good story for you. Right now, though, this is all I got.

If I had not already learned my lesson about musicians, I could certain have wasted a big chunk of time on this guy. Yes indeed. Very good thing I learned my lesson. ‘Cause that tattoo on his forearm is awfully hot. His music’s good too.

(update: as Indie Rock Boy points out, I already have a Todd Martin so this is not open for discussion)

Tanya and I are having a sleepover this weekend. This is what we do when we’re abandoned by those we love. No, no, you kids enjoy the VMAs. We will be too far gone on champagne and too busy having pillow fights in our underwear to miss you.

I don’t mean that. I miss you. Come home! Seriously.

Today I saw the policemen that came when my skylight was broken. I was playing hooky and they were… well, doing cop things. We talked about baseball and I realized that, now having seen my brother as a cop, the uniform just does nothing for me anymore.

I put Justified on repeat today. For three hours. I can’t explain it either.

J and his girlfriend broke up. I had nothing to do with this. We’re going to a wedding together in three weeks and by god, they had better get all patched up by then because I was sort of counting on girlfriend insurance to moderate everyone’s behavior. And no, Sarah, not even for old time’s sake.

Well, I’m tapped. But I promise, you’re going to love tomorrow’s story, so stay tuned.

38 comments to tidbits

  • Rene'

    My, I concur. Mr. Martin is very handsome. You must have learned a hard lesson if you aren’t even tempted to give him a shot.

    Can’t wait for tomorrows!

  • maybe if you stick fat cocks in your ass you’ll have something to talk about. you write like shit.

  • Rene'


    What a moron you are. Perhaps you should try doing the aforementioned, this way you wouldn’t have time to post CRAP!

  • I think that falls under the No Advice rule, Guntman.

  • Funny post… well funny sad kinda… what’s with the Guntman?

  • Indeed, everything has changed.

  • Ashamed as I am, I also recently re-discovered Justified. Sad but fun.

    You’ve never been one to hype up future entries, have you? Half the fun of this site is the pleasant surprise in finding something extremely well thought-out and unprompted.

  • Among all the other counting down I do, this shouldn’t be to much of a wait :-D

  • Jack, I promise this one will not be at ALL thought out. It’s just going to be amusing. (it’s just a blog.)

  • elise

    They broke up?!? Ok, I’m sorry but I think I called that one in your comments a few weeks ago when he said that he never connected with her like he did with you, but you insisted that what they had was beyond that. Not to have told you so or anything :)

  • casablancalily

    hola fishy,

    I’ve been reading for a while and never had the urge to comment, that is before today.

    The responsible stock answer to any question involving J would be run, fast, and in the other direction of him.

    However, I’ve had a J before, and I actually cried, yes I said cried, when I read your Neverland post.

    So, and I want you to know THIS IS NOT ADVICE! But in my situation, Peter Pan grew up and comes home to me every night.

  • Ah, Guntman. You had your chance. Use a valid email address and I might think about leaving up your long-winded, erroneously founded rantings. For now, I’ll keep deleting. Besides, your first comment is your most eloquent by far.

  • “If I had not already learned my lesson about musicians…”

    Do illuminate us, er, me.


  • J.Polite

    Guntman is a moron! I enjoyed your tidbit :-)

  • Hp

    Subway wanker in NYC I didn’t feel like finding your email but worksafe:


    Maybe use your power to find this dude?

  • Hello, Guntman. I’m a firm believer that no voice should be silenced. If you look back over what you wrote, however, I’m sure you can see how someone might take offense to that. Maybe you should restate your point some other way so that it’s more clear and uses fewer words like “cock” and “ass” and “shit”. Also, throw in a greeting and a salutation. You’ll find people will respond to you more pistively.

    Have a nice day, asshat.

  • Ari

    Oh… :) So that makes three of us.

  • Blu

    I personally had a fat cock in my ass last night and The Fish still writes loads better than I do.

    (And, yes…I’m a girl.)

  • Oh that’s so funny what you said about cop uniforms.

  • I scanned Todd’s site for pictures of the tattoo on his forearm, but dammit he is wearing long sleeves in every picture!!! But he is adorable!

  • She can’t write?!? BS! I was particularly entertained by the juxtaposition of the sentences “No Sarah, not even for old times sake” and “Well, I’m tapped”. Or maybe I’m the only one that finds that funny. Since I think tapped as in “that ass”.

    I also thought it was funny because I thought Gutman suggest socks up your ass. I need to read slower, plus the thought makes me mental chaff in the wrong places.

  • Anonymous

    The female obsession with musicians is oh so unfortunate. Just because the boy plays a guitar doesn’t mean he’s Jesus Christ. Imagine if he excelled at other pursuits — knitting or debate or the stock market or bocci — would you find him as alluring? He’s no different. Besides, 12-string guitars go out of tune all the time.

  • Well, Anon… if it makes you feel any better, I learned my lesson about Jesus Christ, too.

    And I once had a mean, mean crush on a man who played Bocci. No lie.

  • i’m totally hoping that your next post had something to do with the changes you alluded to before you left on your trip to utah. does it? :)

  • Oh lordy. I hadn’t expected to come across a reference to Todd on here. Nice fellow.

    And yep, music’s good too.

  • Okay, so this freaks me out. I am a HUGE TODD MARTIN fan. I have written about him on my blog, and I have ALL of his music. I couldn’t even steal it on Limewire. I actually bought it from iTunes. I knew I loved you for a reason.

  • A wise woman once said to me: “The homeliest guy in the world can pick up a guitar and automatically he’s at least a 7.” True story.

  • I am not musically inclined and I do not play bocci, so I guess I have no shot at the fish… DAMN!

    You definately have a smooth flow to your writing… fun to read!

  • Todd Martin is totally hot! I haven’t learned my lesson about the musicians, and in this instance, I would totally be an advocate of the “You have to make your own mistakes to learn from them” mantra :)

    Have a great evening!

  • my music library has expanded tenfold since I started reading all these new york blogs—ray lamontagne (from S. Klein), todd martin (from fish), etc. Thanks for cluing the rest of us in…looking forward to tomorrow!

  • Weird… I listened to “Justified” on repeat in my car earlier this week. What’s up with that?

  • Gimme a sec. It’s possible I still may be a little bit drunk.

  • Fish, I married a musician, a sax player, and he decided after we were married to quit and become a firefighter. Sax player turned firefighter… mmmmmm. Anyway, point being, musicians, if you can keep ‘em, are good with their hands and other stuff, if you know what I mean. :-)

  • IRB

    I swear to God if you hang out with another Todd Martin I’m going to kick his wanna be Howie Day ass back to Philadelphia where he came from.

    See Also: Gavin Degraw

    See Also: Famous American Tennis Players of the 90s

    See Also: E-Z Cheese Value Pack

  • Awww, Todd, I didn’t know you cared! ;) What if I promise not to make out with him in taxis? THEN is it cool?

  • IRB

    I really don’t think so. He’s already wrecking all my potential google search results for all the ones of people seeking me in Boston. And this guy can’t possibly be making a career of this. Is http://www.toddmartinwaiter.com his other site?

    You know, I thought I was more than just cheap thrills in a Cab. I feel like such a piece of meat. pffft.