I don’t know when it happened that I became so comfortable being naked around strangers. So comfortable that, Friday night during a full-body scrub at Union Square’s Oasis spa, I fell asleep. Completely naked. While a complete stranger rubbed yummy smelling exfoliant all over my body.
And I do mean ALL over.
During October, spas all over New York City offer select treatments at discounted rates -massages, facials, scrubs. And for less than fifty dollars you can buy yourself some pretty serious relaxation. When Jen signed us up months ago, I had no idea how badly I’d be needing it. But come Friday afternoon, it was all I could think about – the white robes, the sauna, the dried fruit and tea.
And then the whole naked thing.
I’d already decided that the experience could only be as weird as I let it. So as I lay there in the dim, warm room exhausted and exposed, I felt totally at ease. At least, my body was relaxed. While the technician did her thing, my mind zipped here and there, dotting i’s and crossing t’s from a long work week.
Swoosh went a pair of hands over my breasts, kneading oily salts into my chest. And then a pause.
“Is everything alright?”
“Mmm hmm. Feels great.” But the hands didn’t resume, so I slowly opened one eye and then the other.
“You sure? You’re looking pretty serious. Like you’re thinking about work or something.”
“I was thinking about work!” I laughed. Wow. She was good.
“That’s not allowed in the hydro room.”
“I swear I won’t do it again.”
I settled back in, not thinking about work. The swooshing and kneading continued, then the steamy showers, and when I woke up a few minutes later, it was time to get dried off. I haven’t been dried off by another person since I was probably seven years old, but even that wasn’t weird because it felt so nice. And necessary.
I had walked into the spa with my skin screaming, Pay attention to me! Pamper me! Touch me! And left feeling calm, pampered and a glass of wine away from total sedation. Three glasses of wine later, I was sedately watching a new friend karaoke with transvestites.
But that’s a story for another time.
I’ve never had a spa treatment. I’m 29. Do you think it’s time?
Oily hands kneading your breasts? Eep! Don’t think I could do that.
Yes, Di. It really is. Do it for the children.
It isn’t so weird, Stacy. The person doing it is so matter of fact about it that it’s not creepy at all.
Sounds relaxing. Also could never do it though.
are there other nude people around watching?
Okay, I’m a guy so this can never leave this weblog, but anyone who says they could never go to a day spa or be willing to receive a full body massage from a trained and licensed therapist is only creating tragedy and a lack in one’s life. I usually go twice a year myself. The first time was actually for a tempo story I wrote as a freelancer back in college. Anatomical differences aside, I learned there really wasn’t anything to feel uncomfortable about once I got to the spa. The message therapist was very professional. It was sort of like going to the doctor’s office, with the lack of possible pain or use of medication to relax me. Muscles were kneeded out and I smelled good. I left that first spa wondering how could I my muscles and body be this tense? I didn’t know just how much tension my body actually carried around. I promised myself to return and have many times since then.
Your secret is safe with us, Brian.
happy monday, the spa sounds fabulous. i did a full day once several years ago. complete with leg wax…which i loved. i had a girlfriend convince me that i should go back for an arabian wax….WONT EVER do that again…using tweezers to plug hair in the nether region is just NOT ok! i’ll have to put a full body salt on my Santa list. thanks for the idea..
Whatever they paid to let them do that to you, I’ll double it!
sounds delish.
Where is this hydro-room where work-thinking is not allowed?! I must find it!
Sounds wonderful, although I too have been too wussy to get naked for spa treatments. I’m gonng have to brave it one of these days!
LOL, I’m quite the wuss myself. Although it does sound positively relaxing!
Oh,come on. Think of it like a one-night stand. You know, only one where you don’t get your feelings hurt if they don’t call you ever again.
Hee.
you know you are getting old when you let an oncoming cold make you miss the transvestites. eh. there’ll be more.
Did you get a vichy shower? I love a vichy shower!
The other thing that I love is going to desination spas that have steam rooms and jacuzzis and internally judging the women who wear bathing suits. Maybe judging is the wrong word, but seriously, who cares? At the last spa I was at they even had a “European” sunning area. Maybe I’m European. I’m going to shut up now.
This is a somewhat unrelated comment as far as spas/spa treatments go… well, totally unrelated, actually. I just wanted to say how much I enjoy reading your blog- I am also a Texan who lived on the East coast (upstate New York for four years, Boston for three)- I moved back to Texas last year for a job, and was so miserable and out of place that there were days that your writing was the ONLY thing that could make me feel like a normal girl again. Now I’m in grad school and much happier, but I still can’t wait to read your entries, and also can’t help but feel a little down when you don’t post for a few days. Thanks for being here, and thanks for writing. It means something.
Worst thing I ever did was give my wife a weekend spa package for our first year anniversary. Now it is mandatory for her to go 4-5 times a year.
So now whenever we go to Vegas or Taos she goes to the spa, and I go golfing.
This sounds like heaven in Manhattan. I swear by relaxation and love massages, steams and hot tubs more than almost anything. This place sounds great, but I’m a guy and a little weary of how to approach this treatment. I mean, who would be rubbing “yummy smelling exfoliant all over my body”? I need this but I’m a little weary.
Ever see the Seinfeld where George gets a massage?
Here in DC, we have Spa week as well. It always comes at the perfect time. It’s a great fall pick me up.
amazingly enough, I’ve even gotten comfortable getting naked at work! we have a masseuse come in every 6 weeks or so, and she sets up a table and everything in a private office (with soothing music, oils, darkness) It’s pretty dang perfect… until the CFO starts blabbing too loudly next door.
…checking for spas in my area now.
Was your dentist there?
Sparing naked karate transvestites!?
Being naked should be natural. That is the way we entered this world. When I get massages, I am totally into the nakedness, Question, what is the etiquette on tipping the massage people?
Sound devine. You have me sold on a day at the spa somewhere down the line….love the rules..no thinking about work! And cool how she could read your expression so well
I am suddenly very excited about my Nov. 5 salt scrub appointment…and way less nervous about the naked element. Thanks!
Wow, sweet talking here!!! I’m a guy who would melt all into that! I love massaging the woman who works in the next office from me. It’s so sensual!!! Her boyfriend doesn’t do it so she welcomes it. And I don’t see my lady friend enough, obviously!!! Life is grand!!! And grander yet when you are appreciated!
As someone with serious hangups about being naked around others, your words make it sound like a hurdle one should get over. Wine would help : )
I had a Turkish bath once, which is the same thing, only it was a MAN massaging us. But the way he did it, it was almost like we were just plain dough he was kneeding!