On my way back to Manhattan this afternoon, I found myself on the 6 train sandwiched between two guys in winter coats and… their underwear. “Ahhh, yes,” I thought. “I read about this.”
Pants Free Day on the subway.
Because I am stubborn like that and absolutely hate giving people the attention they’re after, I acted as though nothing were out of the ordinary. I always ride home from brunch next to dudes in Hawaiian print boxer shorts. Except on Thursdays when it’s Shirt Free Day and then it’s nipples, nipples, everywhere you look nipples.
But today, it was everywhere you looked bare legs.
Men, women. In trench coats and less. Sitting with legs crossed strategically or boldly baring it all for the commuting public. They were amusing, I’ll admit. But the best part of the ride came when a voice piped up from one end of the train.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please excuse the interruption. My name is David* and I am selling pants today for my high school basketball team, and to keep myself out of trouble. They are only one dollar. I have many varieties including denim, corduroyâ€_â€ù
Snort! I forced the smile off my face (do not encourage him!) as I watched him walk through the car selling pants to the pantless. So damn clever, these exhibitionists.
I don’t exactly get why you’d want to ride the 6 train from Brooklyn without your trousers. But really, who cares why? It’s just another one of the millions of itty bitty things that makes New York New York. And just another one of the reasons that, though I get exhausted by the to and fro and consider retreating to quiet of somewhere middle America-ish, I will actually never do it.
It’s just not the same when folks commute pantless down I-75 in the privacy of their own cars. Unless, you know, you’re driving an SUV.
I love reading about Improv Everywhere‘s exploits. It looks like they try really hard to mess with stone-faced commuters in a positive way.
Ahh… New York.
man, do I miss living in new york. you’d never see folks do that anywhere in dc.
Hmmm, winter white, goose pimply legs on the subway … you New Yorkers sure are a crrrrazy bunch.
I see that some of the pantless crusaders were arrested. I think the cops were a bit over-zealous.
Or was there more there than meets your blog?
Unreal!
-Noojes
Hilarious!!! Thanks for making me laugh on a Monday morning.
And for the record, no I have never seen anyone here in the burbs riding down the beltway without their pants on (maybe they do but we can’t see them) but I have seen people go grocery shopping without their shoes and shirt. in the country!
No Way, that is hilarious!!!! I live in Dallas & you would never see that here on our “D.A.R.T. trains”!
do they still have W.O.W? (whip it out wednesdays) that was always interesting…
he he he. the very idea makes me just laugh out loud. i lived in minnneapolis and the only time i saw people pantless or “whipping it out” was in obscene gestures or during the gay pride parade.
nyc makes life interesting. and, not living there, you make it interesting for us all.
Or an 18 wheeler truck. Like all those times my skirt rides up revealing the lace part of my stockings and I catch a guy in a truck checking out my legs.
But pantless subway rides sound like healthcode violations or a porn movie in the making.
“I am stubborn like that and absolutely hate giving people the attention theyâre after.” If everyone thought like that – no one would read your blog.
Thank GOD not everyone is like me. And not just for that reason.
I love the concept of Pants Free…well, anything. Next Stop, Panty Free Friday!!! Who’s with me!!!
Fish,
A question for you-
What do you think about these bloggers that are using their blogs to launch writing careers? You (and I) are just as talented. Any dreams of turning your fabulous words into dollars?
I’ve been offered the opportunity. And when the timing is right, I’ll take ‘em up on it. But for now, I’m getting dollars for this blog, so that ain’t half bad!
So how come when strangers are on the subway with no pants, it’s all cutesy ha-ha and blog entries but when I ring your doorbell with no pants it’s all screaming and restraining orders?
Life isn’t fair.
Once, on the way home from an away game, my highschool volleyball team was in the bus on I-25 and glanced over to see a completely nekkid pick-up truck driver with a flashlight between his legs. Yes, the flashlight was on. No, it wasn’t worthy of a spotlight.
Yuck.
Well I sell my pants for a living so I cannot say much…
Now do they bring their pants with them to put on when they arrive at their destination? I mean it IS winter.
And does No Pants include underpants as well? Because that would be, well, disturbing. Unless they brought towels to sit on.
Just browsed your latest blogs! What wonderful voice you have dear! No one (including me) could have taught you that–your personality truly shines through.
I, too, ignore those who “need attention”. And thanks for reminding me that when my kids are “tired” there really is an emotional need there! Love your stuff!
No pants?! Where do they put their wallets?
Oh man, I miss NY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn, i was hoping no one would discover the real reason I want a Honda CRV.
you get paid to do this blog? was there ever a 4th part to “Three”?
Yes, I do. And yes, there was. And one day, if you’re really good, I’ll tell it.
one word:
GERMS
Seriously?! What do the homeless people think?
Fish….
Where are you???? Did you win the lottery or has Cupid struck early??
the 6 train doesn’t go to Brooklyn?
Ah, no. You’re right. I transferred at Bleeker.
Is the Bleeker stop, where Cupid waits?
heather- I think people want to pay me to stop writing my blog. So far I’ve been able to resist the commercialism -gregg
I hate trains. I smell bad meat sandwiches and cornchips just thinking about them.
This gives a whole new meaning to “keep your pants on.” Great post. (smiling)
Ciao,