“What if you have to choose between true love and your cat?”
“It’s not true love.”
“But what if it is?”
Jen’s eyes were wide with concern. I couldn’t help but laugh at her; she just seemed so serious.
“What if it is true love and you have to choose between him and Hal?”
“Well, I choose Hal. Because it’s not true love. It’s just drinks.”
On Thursday, I’m having drinks with this guy. Remember him? Well, I hadn’t given him much thought either, until a few weeks ago when he IMed me out of the blue. The short version: He was an out-of-town friend of a friend. We drank, we danced, we… well, anyway, he turned out to be allergic to my cat. It hardly mattered, though. I was living in Boston and he was at grad school in a far off place called Pennsylvania.
And now?
Well, now, it turns out he’s finished his MBA and is living a mere thirty blocks away (bet you didn’t see that one coming!). Over IMs during the last two weeks, we’ve determined that not too much has changed in two years (other than I’ve apparently become a bit too much of a grown up). We still like the same movies. He still can’t spell.
And he is also still allergic to cats.
My dad likes to tell me that it is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is a poor man. He means well. Ever the poor man, he just wants save me from the heartache he and my mom went through back in the day. I suppose now he’d join Jen in her concern and tell me it’s just as easy to fall in love with a man who’s… not allergic to may cat. And you know, save me some heartache. Which is exactly why I have no plans to fall in love.
It’s not true love. It’s just drinks.
Here’s hoping you at least make it to Z again. He sounds lovely.
When I met my husband he was allergic to cats. Then he eventually figured out that every girl he ever really liked had cats and he might as well do something about it, so he started on allergy shots.
We’ve been married nearly five years now. I entered the marriage with 7 cats, and currently we’ve got 6. Amusingly, it turns out I’m allergic to cats too, so now we get our allergy shots together.
The point is, there are ways around the allergy issue, so don’t let that stop you. And no guy who really cares about a girl would ever ask her to give up her cat for him anyway.
sounds like a fun kind of guy. and if he’s really into it, the cat should be his problem not yours. and people are known to get over their allergies, you know.
Hey,
he sounds awesome. I’m getting set up too, tomorrow! I’m thinkin of backing out… cause even if it’s just drinks, i’m scared as sh*t.
Great readin,as usual.
thanks
SC
It will be fine. There are allergy shots and meds out there made for just this sort of thing.
The decision is not cat vs. true love. The decision is allergy shot vs. true love.
You crack me up. I’m scared of falling again as well.
You know what they say, true love comes when you least expect it! I’m so excited for you.
If it is true love, he will love Hal just as much as he does you. There are lots of things he could take to help him with his allergies.
Best of Luck! Can’t wait to hear about it!
True love would take allergy medicine and learn to deal with the cat. : )
I agree true love takes the allergy meds.
I don’t know if I’d take shots for true love. Man, that’s pretty screwed up, isn’t it? Needles really freak me out.
I’m allergic to cats and dogs and I have a dog and three cats.
After a while, you build up an immunity to them.
I think he’ll realize that you’re worth watery eyes and a runny nose.
you are sca-rewed. this is the sort of destiny that comes looking for you. Bottom line, the cat won’t last as long as a great marriage – go for the guy that can come up with an A to Z of why you’re great.
I married a man who was allergic to cats, got rid of my cat for him. Turns out– shoulda got rid of the man and kept the cat!
See?! That’s what I’m talking about! The combination of my love for my obnoxious cat and my deep-seeded relationship fears and I’ll choose the cat every time! I’m a sick woman.
If it’s true love, he’ll get allergy shots.
I’m allergic to cats.
I have three questions when I meet a guy…
1. Do you have any sexually transmitted diseases?
2. Do you live with your mother?
3. Do you have a cat?
A yes to any of these is a deal breaker.
You are a brave woman… But this is why we all love you:)
My last guy gave me an ultimatum: him or the cat.
I picked the cat. She kept me warm at night when he was out at the strip bars.
And that’s how crazy cat ladies are made!
LOL, April, that is hilarious!
Just found your blog today–it’s great. Thanks for the laughs. I’ll definitely be stopping back.
Happy Monday!
I met a man 10 months ago that is allaegic to cats. He admitted a few months into it that he almost did not ask me out for our 3rd date b/c his allergies are so bad. But what can I say, I am just that fantastic. We (cats, man and myself) moved in together 4 months ago.
And yes, his allergies have gotten much better. He only has problems when he and the boys spend a few hours on the couch together.
I would never make you choose between loving Hal and loving me.
What you need is a guy who isn’t allergic to cats but can “tolerate” them. The last thing you need is a guy who’ll take meds then dote upon Hal constantly and eventually divide your relationship with Sir Cat of your Dreams. Imagine coming home and having True Love hog all of Hal’s attention. You’d be eternally upset if choosing between the two of you, Hal chose True Love’s lap. So don’t go with the possibility of cat-loving, overzealous allergy injection guy. Go for one with an “eh” attitude towards cats so he’ll recognize and respect the animal but leave the loving to you. That’d be a much more harmonious environment, even though a man, cat, woman love triangle has a good sense of humor about it.
OOO Heather, I am a regular reader of your blogs, but for whatever reason I missed the one when you introduced us to Mr. Alphabet. He sounds so yummy!!! It’s always good to be cautious, and guys like the chase so your caution is probably just making him want you more. As a fellow over analyzer, let me tell you from experience, stop thinking with your head and start thinking with that feeling in the pit of your stomach.
Not to be too Dr. Phil or anything, but I think that’s why we women love our “Sir Hal’s” because they never leave us and they can’t hurt us. Take a risk and have a good time. If he turns out not to be Mr. Right, he can be Mr. right now and then you can go home and tell Hall all about it. Oh and us too!
Fellow crazy cat lady here…there is no choice. The cats give you more than any guy. But the RIGHT guy would get the allergy drugs (they have come very far in the last 10 years) and learn to love your other half, Sir Hal.
Have fun! Cocktails would be grand on a Monday!
hey hey remember. if its real it never follows the rules.
the man i married is more unlike me than any man i’ve ever dated and further from “my type” than anything i’d imagined. and somehow he was the one.
if it’s gonna happen it will happen regardless of allergies or fate or time or signs. and then you just gotta fall into it and let it be.
How about allergy shots or sublingual drops? Or allergy pills? I know the allergy shots helped my brother out tremendously and my mom used the drops with great success as well.
Yes, there are allergy shots and yes, they work.
Right now though, just make sure you’re not allergic to the drinks. Don’t think too far ahead.
oh my! seems like your friend wants you to make a “love” decision right away. just tell her that she’s been designated as the kitty godmother, and will be kitty’s new guardian should it be “true love”. um, yeah…that should keep her quiet for a few days.
yeah, it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man – but then you have to worry about whether you fell in love for the right reasons.
if you fall in love with the guy who’s allergic to your cat, you’ll know that you fell in love for the right reasons. If he falls in love with you, ditto.
(I say this, of course, bc I fell in love with a man with a dog, who isn’t crazy about me having a cat. it’s 7 months into it, and now HE’S the one suggesting that we need to introduce the dog and cat together and see that -not IF- they’ll get along…)
yeah, it’s not allergies – but I AM allergic to shellfish, and I’ve made it a point to not dissuade him from ordering shrimp cocktails.
Love, as they say, requires the ‘work around’
Ah, I’m so excited! I hope you have a great time. Sending all sorts of good vibes your way.
Also, I’m very happy to hear you’d choose Hal over True Love because if an allegic-to-cats True Love comes my way, Kole is getting dropped off on your doorstep.
Apparently you are unaware of the wonders of modern science which allows those with even the severest of cat allergies to habitat with a cat. I am allergic…my cat takes a harmless medicine every day which makes me able to breathe and snuggle my cat. It also allows my dear friends who are very allergic to cats to come over and enjoy our company. It can be love, with or without the allergies.
I’m highly allergic to cats, and I would have hated, if you were that heartless in choosing your cat over me and my allergies. Allergies are nothing to laugh about, a cat can send me to the cemetery.. Of course, assuming everything else is perfect about this man and it IS in fact, true love, for both of you..
But then again, if it is “TRUE LOVE”, you will not be sitting trying to figure out who to pick or run his “CV” and credit report in your head, right?
Good Luck.. he’s out there somewhere..
I’m laughing out loud at this single-girl’s conundrum: I fear that I couldn’t be with a man who couldn’t be around cats…is there nothing that can be done?
My boyfriend used to not like cats (not hate, that would have been a deal-killer) and since he’s warmed up so much, one of our fantasies, along with the Maybach and the indoor swimming pool, includes about three kittens that can sleep in our bed.
Surely it’ll never happen, not in New York anyway, but can’t a girl dream?
Another crazy cat lady here – I have two cats and I would most definitely choose my cats over a guy who was allergic to cats (if he would ever ask me to choose that is).
Side note: My ex loved my cats and he just randomly broke up with me over the phone a few days ago. Man I wish I would’ve been given the chance to choose the cats over him looking back now!
True love is out there and it’ll find you – whether he has to get some shots to be with you or not!
Have fun!
Just stumbled on your blog today…love it!!! I am in the same exact boat and it’s always good to hear from fellow survivors of singletons still in the dating world!
I just thought of something else-
If the universe is working properly, then wouldn’t your true love NOT be allergic to cats?
You’ll have to pardon me, I’m feeling very philosophical today.
Dear Fish:
I believe cats have nine lives for a reason. To help us weed out the “drinks only” guys. I know that my cat was a deal breaker. Thank goodness he fell in love with the same guy I did.
Ciao…from the “just missed” being the cat lady, lady.
stick with the cat until you find a man who can love you and love your cat.
my two cents.
Not that it would help in your situation… When my boyfriend and I got together, I had no cats at the time and missed them so much. But he’s allergic, and I was living in a place where I couldn’t have them. So I thought that was that.
But when he and I bought a house together, he went out to the Kitten Rescues, and sniffed cats until he found two that didn’t make him sneeze.
A keeper! Oh, the only down side is the cats love him best.
I’d pick my cat over any guy. (Does that make me a crazy cat lady?)
we all enter into relationships with baggage, and mine are the feline variety (the best kind). I have two. and I have a boyfriend who is allergic to cats. until I met him, the kitties were allowed in the bedroom and were my sleeping buddies. now that he is, they are banned from the boudoir. I also sprung for an ionic breeze from sharper image.
as long as he doesn’t shove his face into their soft little bellies, he seems fine. he knows it’s a package deal. they (and I) have converted an allergic-to-cats dog person into a cat one.
but why are there only crazy cat ladies and not crazy cat men? not fair.
But what if it becomes true love?
True love is never perfect. And depending on what you drink…neither are those!
Fish, you can have both, thanks to Zyrtec (sp?). My wife was highly allergic to cats, then she started Zyrtec and now we have two cats and they practically sleep on her head, and she’s fine. Just keep a bottle in the house and tell the suitors that it’s Spanish Fly, that you love the Beastie Boys and always wanted to try it, then mix Tang and Sprite and tell them that’s Brass Monkey. Guys are dumb. We’d eat a car battery if it meant we could hook up with a girl.
HAHAHAHAHAH
Mike! You crack me up. I will certainly put your plan into motion if it comes to that. Brass Monkey. Hilarious.
Keep the cat and he can either take a pill (benadryl, allegra, etc) or get the shots. Animals provide an unconditional love of which humans are incapable, plus Hal was there before he was.
When I met my husband he said he “didn’t like” cats. I almost dumped him on that first date! Thankfully, he decided he just didn’t like HIS cat and that MY cats were just fine and now we live in love and harmony with two cats and a dog very soon.
You could always look for guys via catster.com. Seriously, the cats are just a front for the meat market teeming underneath all the cutesy paw icons and puns on “purr”.
Just found this site, and am having a blast.
missscarlet
I was allergic to cats, but Jodi still made me keep hers at my apartment. Eventually, I decided to stop taking 10 Benadryl pills a day, and to my suprise…got over my cat allergy in about two days.
Moral: True love kicks feline allergy ass.
Hey Fish just want to thank you for such a cool blog. Yours has become compulsive reading and thanks again for many hours of entertainment.
Since it’s easier to work out if it’s a true cat I elect keeping the cat.
I blogged about this very thing a few months ago. Love me, love my cat.
Curiosa
Fish, I’M allergic to cats. Doesn’t stop me. You build up tolerance and you vacuum.
Speaking as the feline empress I am, I say your true love will not make you choose.
He’ll take Benedryl and, with a smile on his face, he’ll pet Hal and love him as much as you do.
i AM the crazy cat lady… don’t knock it till you’ve really jumped into it with both feet
i like him:-)
There are also meds (not shots) that cats can take that make them hypoallergenic. And apparently not all that frequently.
Get one of those Hepa air filters, they really help with allergies. My cousin has one because she’s allergic to her own cats, but having this air filter helps a lot. But the good ones cost like $170.
“My dad tells me it is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man…”
Ha!
Were that true I would see many more instances of gorgeous, tan, lithe, trim, witty 24 year old women walking with 45 year old fork lift drivers gushing about how lucky she was to find him and that the age difference just doesn’t matter.
Dad is smoking crack.
More apropo is Grandma’s old bromide that you, “marry the millions and the love will come.”
And if the love doesn’t come (it isn’t love but that is another post) at least you can subcontract for the excitement.