Sir Hal has learned to flush the toilet.
If he were my child, and I’d been waiting and waiting for him to learn this ever-so-useful life skill after months of toilet training, his having learned it would be something to celebrate. But waking up at 2AM to repeated guuusssssh sounds coming from the bathroom, I was not in the mood for celebration.
In fact, I was nearly convinced a burglar was taking a potty break, in between relieving me of my TV and laptop. And my McGyver collection. The horror!
When the guuusssshing continued, I climbed out of bed to investigate. There, sitting on the toilet seat, one white paw on the handle, was His Excellency tapping away. Every once in a while, he’d tap hard enough and…
Well, you know. Guuussssh!
I was stunned. And annoyed. Sure, it’s cute to watch – the curiosity that should have killed the cat is just making him extra hygienic. But it’s loud and it’s wasting water.
And here I thought that was some crazy stunt in Meet the Parents. Well, screw you, Jinx the Cat for being a bad role model to society’s impressionable young felines.
That’s hilarious. Now you just have to teach him to use it first and your litter box days are over!
While walking by my bathroom one day, I heard a tinkling sound. Looking in the open door, I say my cat staring back at me while perched on the (open) toilet seat, relieving himself. If only he had known how to flush after, I never would have had to deal with that stinking litter box again.
I also have an insane, evil genius cat.
I suggest investing in a squirt bottle. Everytime he flushes the toilet, you squirt him.
OR, you could leave the toilet lid open and he’ll probably fall in while trying to flush and never try it again.
Wait, I just realized that if he managed to flush and then fell in, that could be bad. Ignore what I said. Except for the part about the squirt bottle.
OMG! I thought that was just somekind of stunt that animal trainers taught cats to do in the movies! I never imagined they could do it in real life!
lol i don’t have a cat and the creep me out but it is funny and cute. i like to read your blogs at times
gave my wrong blog address sorry!
Maybe Sir Hal has been watching Meet the Fockers when you’re at work.
Next trick – using the potty before flushing.
Just think of it. No more litterbox.
teaching him to scrub the grout is the next step!
My cat would pee in the toilet. We didn’t train her to do that or anything. We’d walk in to the bathroom and she’d be in there, looking up at us like, “Can I have some PRIVACY, PLEASE?”
Here is what I wonder. Is your life really that much funnier than the average person, or is it really how you look at it. I know, I know. The answer should be that it’s all a matter of perspective, but who leaves their apt. with their toothbrush and has a cat that learns to flush the toilet on its own all inside one week?
Check out http://www.citikitty.com — Hal’s already got the tough part mastered!
Atticus is so boring. He doesn’t even meow. Perhaps that’s his trick?
I’m definitely impressed with the flushing – but how are you going to get him to STOP?
I just came across your site and I can certainly say you are one of the most entertaining writers out there.
The suspense, the ‘moment’ and the hilarious laughter that has my very own cats looking at me as if I’m the one going bonkers.
Love it. Enjoyed it. Intend to enjoy more. Have passed your url around to friends.
My only wish is that you were a designer talking about design, just so I could feature you on my blog …
cat
What IS is with cat’s and the bathroom? I can’t get mine out of there.
And by IS is, I meant IS it. Clearly.
My cat sleeps in the bathroom sink. She’s a total sicko. Crazed sense of humor.
PS Love the blog. Makes my work day a little less intense. Thanks.
I hate that your cat is smarter than I am.
K is the sink a warm place? My friend’s cat sleeps in the sink too, but it’s really warm there.
Hilarious. I had a cat who turned on the tv periodically, but that is nowhere near as funny as the toilet.
So no comment on your date for the Peanut Gallery?? Hm…
My kitty used to shred/unroll the toilet paper, so I kept the bathroom door closed. After a while I started to leave it open and he hasn’t resumed his old habit. Maybe that might help?
By the way, I really enjoy reading your blog.
We used to have a cat that would lick any bits of toothpaste left in the bathroom sink, then run around the house foaming at the mouth… dripping toothpaste drool on every piece of furniture! At least he didn’t have bad breath….
Consider yourself lucky. Miss Lucy determined she enjoys relieving herself in my bathtub. It’s truly charming.
“down the crapper,” or “why every day i’m one day closer to becoming the crazy cat ladypart 2.”
my cat does the same thing. he also pees with his leg up in the litter box. i’m confused whether he’s a dog trapped in a cats body, or quite possibly, a midget.
OMG, I am laughing so hard my co-workers are peeking over the cube walls at me.
And to think how excited I got when my (indoor) cat finally figured out he could poop in the backyard — that moment simply pales in comparison to flushing the toilet!!
You are going to have to lock that cat out of the bathroom at night!
My cat, he licks any kind of mouthwash or toothpaste left in the sink. And loves to sit on the toilet seat when I get ready for work. Also, he caught his hairy tail on fire one night with a candle and we could NOT figure out the smell until we smelled Sonny (the cat)…awful smell, funny moment.
Heather,
I have officially read every one of your blogs and I just have to say that you are truely an inspiration! I am addicted to your blog more than I am addicted to myspace and writing my own blog (which I didn’t even think was possible). I look forward to reading everything up to date now
.
Mel
I was in the living room one day when I heard the water running in the kitchen sink. I went in and saw one of my cats drinking from the faucet. When she was done, she pawed at the knob, turned off the water, hopped down, and walked away like nothing happened.
The sad part is that it was like seeing a UFO. I’ve yet to tell someone this story and not get looked at like I’m a lunatic.
Fish: After the recent NBC news and all, you should demand a rise, you absolutely diserve it!!
I didn’t think cats could really do that! You should sign Sir Hal up for Meet the Parents 3 or to at least be an extra…
Wait, what NBC news?
Rise? Diserve?
Don’t take it too seriously.
iVillage got bought out by NBC. I guess that’s what they were referring to.
Hey Fish, great blog, I’ll def be back!
Well, then everyone gets a rise I guess.
Hee.
hee…. I got all excited because I thought maybe you were going to be on NBC or something, an interview or a sitcom or something!! betcha it’s just a matter of time!!!!!!
where be you are at?! did mr. hal’s replacement steal you away from us?
Oh my gosh…. this post is hilarious! I can absolutely relate to all of the crazy cat stories others have posted. I thought my cats were nuts because they opened up my cupboards & then walked away and tried to knock over my bookshelf (imagine: cat laying on top of bookshelf, paws against wall pushing with all his might… I don’t think he realized HE was going to get hurt if the thing fell). Anyone who comes to my house says my cats are truly insane. But man, if one of my cats could flush the toilet… I mean, sure it sounds cute but certainly not in the middle of the night. Time to bust out the ol’ squirt bottle, that’s what I use when the cats are chasing one another around the living room knocking everything off of the end tables & entertainment center @ 2:00 a.m.
That’s absolutely fantastic… my cat’s only genius trick is muting my labtop’s music if she doesn’t like it.