scatter-brained

The Oscars bore me.

They probably bore me for the same reasons that magazines bore me: I’m only there to ooh over the pretty dresses and make fun of the uglies — I don’t want to suffer through all the blah-blah-blah to do it. And this year, what with people.com and some red carpet fugging, I didn’t even have to watch the five hour snooze fest to get all of that satisfaction.

(I know I’m not the first to say it, but, Charlize Theron? She looked like a living Barbie doll. My Barbie had really disproportioned accessories too. And a dress that I made out of my red ruffled umbrella. So, you know, who takes their fashion cues from an 11 inch doll?)

Anyway, I gave up on the Oscars early last night, and instead, settled in with my watched-so-many-times-it-needs-tracking copy of The Beautician and the Beast. God, I love Fran Drescher. So much. I love her nasally laugh and her tacky clothes and her humongous hair. I want to “friend” her on myspace.com where I will leave her cheesy comments in sparkly writing; I want to go shopping with her and spend hours complaining about our mothers over high calorie desserts.

I know that my devotion to the Nanny will be about as popular as this next statement: I actually liked Crash, and I was glad it won Best Picture. There. I said it. So it was a heavy-handed lecture in racism. I liked it and I paid to see it TWICE.

I guess it’s like my grandmother always says, “There’s just no accounting for some people’s tastes.”

And somewhat along those lines: he asked me out on a second date. Details to follow.

40 comments to scatter-brained

  • G

    Whoa whoa whoa there missy!! You buried the lead like we wouldn’t even notice.

    OF COURSE lord ottombottom asked you out again! Duh.

    Details to follow NOW!!

  • Wait wait wait, who was dissing Crash? I thought it was beautiful and thought-provoking.. worst part though is that the people who probably “need” to see the movie will never watch it. (if that makes sense?)

    And woo woo date number two!

  • Always Ace

    Hey, (about to make an ordinary comment here) long-time lurker here, FINALLY making a comment… I really enjoy your writing and I think you’re VERY talented… Let me know when you’re publishing your book, ya hear?

    Anyhoo, I have to say that I loved Crash too — I LOVED it! I’m regretting not picking up the DVD in Germany when I was there 10 days ago… I hesitated, it wasn’t expensive — I really should have! Now it’s going to be insanely expensive, after winning Best Picture… But I was really glad it won too! A lot of people thought it was predictable and other such stuff, but it kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time, I thought it was extremely entertaining, and as you say, thought-provoking. And I thought the acting was top-notch.

    Now I’m about to make a probable unpopular statement: I didn’t like Brokeback Mountain! (There, I said it too!) I thought the acting was stale — I couldn’t find any way to feel anything for the main characters, and I’m a very FEELINGS-oriented person!

  • Always Ace

    P.S. – But I wanted to like it! (Brokeback that is…) I went into that movie expecting to like it, but it just didn’t happen. But once again, there’s no accounting for taste, right?!

    Good luck on that second date — but above all, just have a GOOD TIME!

  • I’ve never stopped to consider my feelings about Fran Drescher, but I love, love, love watching cheesy sitcoms. There’s something so oddly reassuring about them–I could watch Full House for days.

  • Stephanie

    I LOVED CRASH! I think it should be a required part of curiculum in high school. It’s a movie that EVERYONE can relate to in someway. I was very glad that they won.

    Why must you tease us so…..Good Luck on date #2….Can’t wait to hear all about it!

  • Tara

    I share your feelings about Crash. Like several films this year, people are all in a tizzy about the controversial issues and forgetting what movies are for: entertainment. Voluntary entertainment, at that.

    I’m with your buddy G, of course he asked you out again. Looking forward to the details.

    Tara

  • Lindsay

    I loved Crash too! I even bought the DVD, which I never do. When I read the paper yesterday and saw all the press about it being the bigget upset in the HISTORY of the Oscars, I was like, “Huh? It was an upset?” I know Brokeback was the favorite to win, but dude, Crash totally deserved it. I, for one, was shocked that people were so shocked that it won.

    At any rate, looking forward to date details!

  • A second date sounds promising! Can’t wait to hear details.

    I didn’t see any of the Oscar nominated movies this year, so besides seeing women’s dresses, I was pretty bored by the whole thing.

  • This Fish

    Hee. Lord Ottombottom. I forgot you named him that, G. Henceforth, that’s how he’ll be known.

  • K

    Great stuff-and I thought the “Crash” stunner was a great addition to the Oscar bedlum. That and “It’s hard out here for a pimp”….

    Good luck on your date!!

  • I loved Crash! I’m glad it won too! What was Charlize thinking????

  • i’m a total lurker who came upon your blog for reasons unknown… a link of a link of a link, or something.

    i just wanted to comment on the film ‘crash’, a movie i absolutely despise. why? because it’s a contrived stereotypical piece of hollywood garbage.

    everything about that film lead the viewer to believe that their racist beliefs were “okay” because, hey, minorites are racist too, and against each other! we’re all equal when it comes to this subject!

    unfortunately, racism was built on the idea of inequality – someone is better than someone else, therefore they have more power and affluence in the society we live in.

    i think ‘crash’ is a powerful film that has the ability to spark dialogue, but if people are watching it and thinking it’s the feelgood movie of the year while misconstruing the message of the elephant in the middle of the room that we call racism, we may as well have taken 10 steps backwards in civil rights.

    more on my blog, if you’d like to read it, an extension of my rant here.

  • Very exciting Fish! I hope to hear details soon.

  • A second date? I guess it’s not so hard out here for a Fish.

    Congrats.

    Crash was a brilliant movie.

  • This Fish

    Esther,

    I’m not going to get into a big discussion on it here, but I don’t think the film made racism seem okay just because it is pervasive. It made it seem absurd. Which it is. Absurd that we still can’t treat people right.

  • Stephanie

    Here Here Fish!!! Esther, if that’s what you believe Crash was about than I think you need to watch it again and this time with your eyes open. No body said racisim was okay! The movie is meant to open our eyes to how our actions have consequences and how alike the human race really is no matter what your ethnic orgin.

  • Hi Fish! The oscars bore me to death every year, but I actually found myself missing them this year (living in Amsterdam now–so they weren’t on the telley here). And BTW I LOVED Crash too! What’s wrong with a little preaching every once in a while?? ;)

  • Amy

    I had never even HEARD of Crash before the Oscars. Nor had I heard of half the other movies, songs, etc. I spent the entire show thinking, “Where the heck was I last year???” Obviously not in the theatres.

  • First off, of course he asked you out on a second date.

    Secondly, I loved Crash.

    Thirdly, what’s wrong with racism? I’m all about hating people based on their skin color. I also hate people based on their educational backgrounds, their age, where they live, how they dress and whether they drink imported or domestic beer.

  • Stephanie

    On a lighter note….Heather, did you ever find out on date number 1 if he is allergic to cats?

  • mystery girl

    I realize that this probably isn’t the best place to get into a debate about Crash but since Crash-bashing has become de riguer amongst the blogger elite I just wanted to say that I was happy to hear you speak up for it.

    I’m sure you and your commenters will get called out by someone (I’m looking at YOU Lindsay) for being precious simpletons who were fooled by the evil manipulations of Hollywood but…

    I think all of the bloggers who have their knickers in a twist about what a horrible movie Crash was actually…didn’t get it. In fact, I think it’s great that the filmmakers hit us over the head with their message – who says an exploration of any controversial topic has to be subtle?

  • kerri

    simpletons??!!!!!! F.Y.I.: RACISTS are the real simpleton. and: simpletons don’t get book deals!! keep it up, Fish, and thanks for speaking your MIND!!

  • This Fish

    Well, I’m afraid simpletons do get book deals, but that’s hardly the point. Let’s all just knock off a few exclamation points and calm down.

  • I agree about Crash. I think it was moving and not that far off from where I’m from.

    The rest of the nominees were even MORE of a statement about what the Oscars consider themselves to be.

    And that’s all I’m going to say about that!

  • this fish,

    if you don’t mind, can you tell me why you liked the movie?

  • lawyerchik1

    The Oscars were this last weekend?

  • Firstly…there is nothing MORE entertaining than a good women’s magazine!

    and the Oscars can be boring…but it seems really rude/entertaining when they cut people off on the middle of there speeches…not with soothing strings…put with crashing drums!

    When Tom Cruise will they have the gut’s to cut him off??

  • I live vicariously through Fran Drescher’s big hair and short skirts. Well, that and she is always acting opposite some hot British actors such as Timothy Dalton (the Beast) and Charles Shaunessey (Mistah Shefheeled!)

  • Ellie

    Dang. People are missing the point of blogging just like they’re missing the point of movies. You don’t have to go to movies, people. And, if you go, you don’t have to agree with them or like them. Not even a little. Same goes for a blog. Get it?

    Take something for what it’s worth and move on. No need to blow one’s top over a blog. Seriously.

    Fish- I’m betting Fran would shop like none other!

  • I liked crash! but I also liked brokeback! I am just glad that either one of them won.

  • Thank you, Fish. I thought maybe I was the only one who liked that movie and thought it deserved to win. And that is ALL I will say about the Oscars this year.

  • I liked Brokeback better, but I relate to the gays for reasons I haven’t even begun to analyze. I knew Crash would win though, it picked up a lot of momentum in the past few weeks. It’s important to remember those Hollywood folks don’t think like the average joe.

  • I have a friend who is an actor and gets to vote in the SAG awards. She told me that for that award and presumably for the oscars as well, Crash’s PR marketing campaign was unprecidented. The amount of stuff they sent voters was out of control, she said. Not saying it didn’t deserve the win–who knows the motivating factor for all the votes? But they did market the movie to voters like no other contender has.

    I liked it. But I agree with a kernel of what Esther is saying, that judging others by their race (or what you presume their race to be) is not the same as institutional racism against a minority group by a group in power.

  • Stephanie

    I don’t know about everyone else, but I come to this blog to get away from the everyday stuff like racisim, terrorism, politics, etc…I agree these are important issues but I don’t think it was Heather’s intention to get a big debate started about this whole thing. All the girl said is that she liked the movie. That’s called an opinion! Everyone needs to chill out and get back to what’s important…Heather’s second date.

  • Sarah

    Stephanie! That was cute. Yes, Heather’s second date is why I checked this blog today! But for the record, people are allowed to make comments. Presumably, they are commenting on the things a blogger posts about. So discussing Crash is appropriate, I think (esp. because Heather’s whole post was about movies and only mentioned the date situation in one line at the end). If a blogger doesn’t want comment of a certain type or at all, she can change settings/delete things. But it is ridiculous to think that a blogger’s readership doesn’t want to make comments on what was written. Why have an online blog if it wasn’t SOMEwhat of a two way street? (within the blogger’s parameters, of course. Notice no one is giving unsolicited advice, per Heather’s rule.)

  • Dear Fish…

    Glad you’re going back for “seconds.” Enjoy.

  • I can’t believe you nonchalantly dropped the second date comment in at the very last second.

    Here’s to second dates and to being a future crazy cat lady.

    If you have to decide between the guy and Sir Hal, I’d babysit indefinately for a toilet flushing cat!

  • I loved Crash too… though I do recall telling friends I’d gone to see it and they were like “What? You witnessed an accident?”

    I tried to talk it up… but no one I knew saw it in the theaters.

    So I was too excited to learn that it had won because I figured Brokeback would take home all the awards.