points of interest

The helicopter on display in the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum is not the helicopter from Magnum, P.I.

And that’s just one of the many important facts I picked up on our trip to Washington D.C. this weekend. It’s a very informative city! Informative and awesome. I do not think there is any way the experience could have been more perfect. From a free hotel upgrade to the tastiest food (thanks for the recommendations!) to the sunny (and sunburny) weather, the weekend met and exceeded all my expectations. And most importantly, while visiting some of the most top-notch museums and national treasures, I gained a great deal of wisdom. And not just about helicopters.

Here are some more very important facts:

Teenagers suck. They are horrible and they ruin things. Cleverly, they can be ranked in horror and suckage by the color of their t-shirts – Pink Group being the most annoying, and tapering off in suckage with Green Group, who mostly minded their manners, but still spoke in registers only dogs can hear.

Mango margaritas were obviously on god’s creation to-do list right after ‘heavens and earth.’ And he saw that they were good. Very good.

Teenagers ruin the International Spy Museum.

Julia Child was a spy.

There are approximatelyâ€_ a whole lotta steps up to the Lincoln Memorial.

The Hope Diamond is not nearly as big as you think it is. But that will not stop you from scanning the room for security cameras. Jewel heist!

Teenagers ruin the Natural History Museum.

Sarah Brown ruined the Constitution.

51 comments to points of interest

  • I can’t imagine any breed of human who would rather succomb to their raging hormones and flirt and talk about flirting than learn about the jet propulsion. Oh, wait. It’s not just teenagers.

  • RzDrms

    i wanna go.

  • Stephanie

    I’m glad you guys had a good time.

    Unfortunately when you live here (in DC and around) we go (went) to places like the Air and Space museum and Lincoln memorial, etc… every single year for a field trip in school so after a while (the teenage years) they tend to lose the aww of living in such a wonderful city.

  • RzDrms

    (p.s. do you realize you’ve been posting for almost four whole years?! i suppose at some point i should go back and read the archives…)

  • Stephanie

    I love the pictures posted on Sarah’s blog. Looks like you guys had a really good time.

    For future reference if you ever make it to DC for the 4th of July, the Lincoln Memorial is THE prime spot to see fire works. Great view, awesome experience.

  • meg

    Did you find the typo on the walls on the Lincoln Memorial? They meant to carve an “F” but carved an “E” instead, and if you look really hard, you can see where the last leg of the E was filled in….so nerdy am I.

  • Man, a jewel heist would have been so much FUN! Love Sarah’s photos.

  • Cat

    Sounds like a great trip, even with Brown ruining the Constitution. I ruined the Mona Lisa and had the pleasure of a French museum employee strangle me using the pearls around my neck.

  • Sounds like y’all had fun. And yes, teenagers can be spawn from hell…I get to work with them EVERY DAY (by choice, I admit).

  • Becki

    OMG yes, teenagers are wretched little beings. They’re always loud and obnoxious and have no respect (wow, I sound so much older than 23…) If I hadn’t been one of the quiet/polite ones, I would be ashamed to say I ever was one….

  • the international spy museum is so much fun. it might be my favorite attraction in d.c. only second to the food, though.

  • Did you see the fake-dog-poo/radio-beacon in the Spy Museum? Now that shit is funny. Um, no pun intended.

    The Hope Diamond is a good contender for the most overrated object on earth. It’s navy blue, for Chrissakes.

  • This Fish

    HA! Joe, you realize that colored diamonds are pretty rare — thus increasing its appeal, right?

  • Aw, Glad you enjoyed DC. I’ve been to the Spy Musuem twice: once was right after it opened and hardly anyone was there…the other time it was super crowded with kids apparently on a day off from school. Guess which visit was better;)

  • deb

    These mango margarita references are killing me. Miss them! We’d always share a pitcher, the tequila flavor completely masked by the fresh fruit so later we were confused as to why we were so schnockered.

    I want to hear what you ate at Jaleo. Was the mariachi band there?

  • EJ

    Glad you girls had a good time in our fair city! Scarily enough, the teenagers are mostly gone by now… early spring is primo class trip time. My walk home takes me past the White House and you can actually see the clouds of hormones clustering as school groups gather.

  • That’s exactly why my fiance and I don’t want kids. We love babies and toddlers… but teenagers? No sir.

    We’re thinking about maybe adopting a well-adjusted 25 year old.

  • Glad you had such a fun time in DC. It’s funny, I just finished writing a post on how teenagers on school trips to DC in matching t-shirts suck. I concur.

  • This Fish

    Muffy,

    I’m thinking that’s why folks send their kids off to boarding schools. Send away your awful teenagers and get a well-adjusted kid back several years later.

  • jen

    We are unintentionally but gleefully copying you next weekend. Will need to get your full report later!

  • Glad you had a great time…we traveled to DC for a visit with family and did the Air and Space and Natural History museums and pointed out to our 1 yr old daughter all the types of teenage things she is NOT allowed to do when she gets that old or else she will not live to be that old.

    Had we gone two years ago, Leda wouldn’t be here today. So glad we didn’t go two years ago…teenagers are great birth control! I hate to think that I was anything like that when I was a teenager.

    And, Mango Margarita?? Must go back to DC ASAP! Yummm!

  • heehee…hey, there are worse things than ruining the constitution. like annoying teenagers. annoying teenagers totally trump a ruined constitution.

  • lawyerchik1

    SO cool to know there is a Spy Museum! (The real question is, did Mr. Lincoln get a wet t-shirt contest?)

    Glad you had fun!

  • glad you had a great time in DC-it’s a great city-hope you made it down to U Street-it’s a fun and funky area. I’m headed to NYC next weekend, and hope it will be as fun-filled with adventure as your weekend was here.

  • I consistently find myself rolling my eyes at teenagers and thinking “I was NEVER like that!”

    Fish, have things changed since we were kids, or were we really THAT OBNOXIOUS?

  • Kate

    Umm, yeah, so here’s a secret I never told anyone–I pulled a Sarah. Went to a musuem and was really excited about this Edgar Degas painting and totally didn’t even think about the flash. Security guards came rushing in and blamed the guy behind me. I ducked my head and slunk out of the room…

    Anyways, just needed to confess! Glad you had a fabulous time!

  • While we’re on the topic of getting in trouble at museums. I was at the Smithsonian, can’t remember which one exactly, the National Art museum. There was an Alexander Calder exhibit with some mobiles. http://www.nga.gov/cgi-bin/pimage?56253+0+0

    So, being the enthusiast I was, I began blowing towards the mobile to make it move; as mobiles are intended to do. Immediately the security guard came over to me and ordered me to stop. I tried to explain to him that it is the artists intent for the piece to move, but to no avail. I am also repeatedly setting off the proximity sensors as I enjoy getting super close to paintings to see the intricacies and look at paintings a different way. I’m such a rebel!!

  • This Fish

    My roommate in Madrid set off proximity sensors in front of the Guernica (it’s roped off) TWICE in like, ten minutes. The guards were more than a little annoyed with her and when she got close a third time, they asked her to leave. Me, I pretended not to know her.

  • Sounds high-falootin’! I’ll stick the the ethanol muesum and hall of fame in Moline, IL. Thank you very much!

    Actually, my company just bought the Four Season’s in DC, the wife has never been, so thanks for the quasi-travel guide.

  • H

    I just read ALL of your archives.

    Good thing I have nothing to do at work. Your early style was SO Bridgette Jones…cute tho.

    Anyways, all of your early stuff with J…I have been going through I similar situation. It’s good to know that I am not the only one that has been so hurt, so confused, and still felt so in love.

    Thanks…it was a good read.

  • K

    DC is greta to visit, but I took it for granted when I lived there for a year. Though I did love Adam’s Morgan…ooh and Xando’s–I couldn’t help it.

  • Me

    DC is great, and since I live there, I totally take it forgranted. You should come in town for restaurant week in August… that’s when all the hoity toity restaurants that we normally can’t afford do a flat rate of $25/lunch, $35/dinner. I save up for it all year!

    Glad you enjoyed your visit… now if only I could get up to New York!

  • Teenagers might be awful but not all of them are. At least, I should hope that I’m not terrible! Unfortunately, a majority of teenagers have horribly impaired social manners. And then there are quite a few that have absolutely no manners to speak of whatsoever.

    So I suppose I can’t completely disagree :)

  • But Did you try the Space Ice Cream??? That was always the best…

  • Manipuladar

    “sadly, not arrested on Sarah’s behalf.”

    Aw!

    Should’ve taken your Guernica chica with you!

    Teenagers? I know if I’d been *my* parents, I’d've kicked my cheeky, egotistical ass, so, annoying as they are, I try to cut them some slack.

  • Stephanie

    Oh my gosh! I forgot all about the space Ice Cream you can buy at the Air and Space Museum. Ahhh the good ol days of the many field trips downtown!

  • Heather,

    In your “Early Mourning” post, when reading the comments, I noticed you tore into one of your readers a little bit. Just yesterday I felt compelled to do the same thing to one (actually two) of my readers, and it’s something I probably wouldn’t have done had your lashing not made an impression on me. I’m not one for drama or unnecessary confrontation, but I have to say that I feel a lot better and less bothered since doing it. Whether a thank you is in order here or not, I don’t know. I do know I like reading your blog, though. Hope you keep it up for some time to come.

    Chris

  • This Fish

    Chris, I don’t know if it was as much a lashing as a stern reminder that there are limits people need to recognize.

    But thanks :)

  • Dear Fish…better than a postcard. I did the “constitution” thing inadvertantly to the Mona Lisa. I was truly sorry, and it was a big mistake, but the photo is quite interesting. The flash caught the glass in an odd way and it actually looks as if Lisa is winking at me. I like to think she was forgiving me for flashing her. :)

    Ciao.

  • Don’t forget how cute Amelia Earhart’s flight jacket is, or the fact that all of the Pocket Minerals in the Natural History museum look like they were purchased at a seaside dollar store that also sells striped beach towels and hermit crabs.

  • Ron

    Glad you enjoyed DC. Until a week ago, I worked a few blocks away from the Spy Museum (and around the corner from Ford’s Theater). There’s this restaurant by the Spy Museum called Zola, and my boss downtown took us all out to lunch there. Quite good! Oh, for those who don’t know, the Spy Museum is NOT free like the Smithsonian is. Four months working near there and I still didn’t go!

    I think the National Portrait Gallery and Museum of American Art will re-open in a few weeks. Another good place to check out is the “Little Red Castle” on the Mall. To get away from the crowds, go to the S. Dillon Ripley Gallery, near the Little Red Castle. The Ripley Gallery is underground, a NO ONE goes there. It’s cool and quiet and the bathrooms are clean.

    Oh, how can I forget? Gifford’s Ice Cream just opened up a store downtown, on E St. Between 10th and 11th. Yummmm!

    There are sooooo many other things to see, I don’t know where to start. Glad you had a good time!

  • lisa

    i have been reading your blog for months and since dc is one of my favorite places I wanted to comment, especially since Jaleo is absolutely my favorite restaurant! I’m so jealous, want to get back there soon!

  • Liz

    I stopped liking teenagers the moment I stopped being one. I really should go to DC and learn about this nation’s history. I loved US History in high school, so it would be worth it.

  • Hi Fish! Can I ask where Benjamin is? We haven’t heard you talk about him in so long- are you still friends? Do you still hang out?

    Answer: Um, I guess he’s around. But I haven’t seen him in six months. So, no, we don’t. — Fish

  • Kala Lily

    Try going to the Met with Mom; My Mom who always has to look perfect, even in a museum. My Mom who has to dig through her sack of a purse to find her lipstick. And yes, My Mom, who when she could not find said lipstick slapped her purse on top of a marble stone structure and spent ten minutes hunting for the lipstick, emptying all other contents onto marble stone structure. Never mind that said marble stone structure was a bagazillion year old Egyptian tomb with a mummified dead pharoh lying inside. Never saw a security guard move and tackle another human being that quickly. And of course I pretended not to know her.

  • haha, fish, i have an ol’ college buddy of mine in town (baltimore) for this past week, which of course necessitated a trip to d.c. those of us from the deep south are unaccustomed to mass-transit, and so the metro is totally like disneyworld, but less sterile and far more affordable. we were at air&space (had to check out freeze-dried space monkey, professional interest and all) and am.hist. on wed…maybe we passed you guys by, or just couldn’t see you for the horde of evil brats. i KNOW we weren’t like that at that age, right?!?

    practical considerations for everyone: make mangoritas at home, cuz they are heavenly and why stop at just one. go to the store and look in the ethnic or fruit juice sections for a brand called looza, which will supply you with FABULOUS mango nectar in tall skinny 1L bottles. add a good dose of that to your fave ‘rita recipe, and rock on with your bad self.

    here’s to an excellent vacation to everyone!

  • Fish – I take this as inspiration to hurry up and get my butt to DC to visit before my kids are teenagers. I’ll take them while they’re still in strollers – less annoying and more containable.

    funny and good. thanks.

  • Fish – I take this as inspiration to hurry up and get my butt to DC to visit before my kids are teenagers. I’ll take them while they’re still in strollers – less annoying and more containable.

    funny and good. thanks.

  • Sounds like a nice trip! Too bad about the teenagers though!

  • Love the Spy Museum but have to say I don’t see what all the hubbub is over the Hope Diamond.

  • Livi

    as a teenager I object! I have never ruined anything for anyone in my whole life *pouts*

    its just coz we get to do stupid stuff and get away with it coz we fall within the 13 to 18 age band – you’re just jeeealous :P