On Saturday morning, the extortionists — I mean, the movers — delivered my furniture. I’d tell you all about how they jerked me around and took advantage of me (no, not in that way), if I could only figure out exactly what it was they did wrong. It seems that technically, everything they put me through was contracted, agreed to, and signed on the dotted line by yours truly. But boy howdy, I sure felt like they were taking me for a ride.
And because quasi-extortion takes a lot out of a girl, I spent the rest of the weekend lounging around, getting in some real quality time with the boob tube. People, I didn’t even know I was capable of watching six consecutive hours of television, but I rose to that great and mighty challenge. I am now intimately familiar with my friends at CSI, a handful of addicts from Intervention and an f-bomb free Tony Soprano. Frankly, Tony just isn’t Tony when you take away his swears.
But even Tony lite was better than tackling that last box of sweaters that’s currently hiding out in my dining room. The rest of the apartment unfolded quickly — dishes zipping into their cupboards, lamps, bookcases and picture frames assembled and arranged in no time. But that box of sweaters – I’ve been doing everything to ignore it for the last two days.
“Unpack already, you slothy whore!”
I laughed. Coming from Ari, that was priceless. She invented sloth, so far as I can tell.
“I know. I am a slothy whore,” I said. “But I learned it from watching you, okay? I learned it from watching you.”
80′s anti-drug campaign references. So relevant and never not funny.
“I thought you were supposed to be better than me.”
“See, that’s where you’d be wrong. Everything’s bigger in Texas, not better.”
“The penises, too?”
“…”
Hmmm. That one is going to require me getting off the sofa and doing a little research. I mean, anything to avoid that box of sweaters, right?
I didn’t invent sloth per se, I just perfected it. That’s what I do.
I’m a perfecter.
Yup, that’s right.
Now go do some dick detecting.
Congrats on the move and unpacking! I moved 2 months ago and I still have clothes to put away…Geez, I’m lame. I hate feeling jerked around by companies. Having just recently had a less-than-par customer service issue, I can understand your annoyance. Even though they did the job, you’re left feeling unsatisfied. (similar to bad sex, wonder if they are selfish lovers?)
hahaha you guys are halrious! but trust me i’ve brought sloth-ness to a whole new level
I guess there’s no need to hire a Private Dick for some sleuthing.
Hey Fish you should update your “about you” section. Not only does it say you live in NYC it’s just been the same-same forever. It would be fun to update it
From This Fish: I think you and I have differing definitions of fun. But you’re right, I should update it.
HA! The first thing I did after moving a couple of weeks ago was dive into hours upon hours of NCIS. Great minds…
HA! I moved in October and I still have boxes in each room of my house! I hate unpacking.
Boy howdy? F-bomb free Tony? You’re not in NY anymore.
Leave the sweaters packed. You’re in Texas. They’ll just slow you down when you have to dodge a tornado.
I still have that *one* box o’ crap to unpack. Yeah, from when I moved 2 years ago. It’s in my spare room right next to the treadmill I rarely use b/c I might disturb the baby that sleeps in the room below….
I feel your pain…
I’ve lived in my apartment for 2 years now, and I still have about 5 unpacked boxes stored under my bed. I’m not even 100% sure of what’s in them.
Should I unpack them? Should I just throw them out? Nah, I’d rather watch the Food Network.
Ditto to what Mike said, and further, summer is a-comin’. The likely need for a sweater will decline as sharply as auto stock in Detroit. Putting a box of sweaters (appropriately labelled “sweaters”) into a closet counts as “unpacking” when it involves clothing for a season that isn’t likely to appear for 6 months. (Ditto to what Mike said, and further, summer is a-comin’. The likely need for a sweater will decline as sharply as auto stock in Detroit. Putting a box of sweaters (appropriately labelled “sweaters”) into a closet counts as “unpacking” when it involves clothing for a season that isn’t likely to appear for 6 months. (
Glad your belongings have found you.
BTW – How is Sir Hal acclimating to his new surroundings?
Sir Hal is right at home. He’s still getting used to new noises – dish washer, washing machine and the dreaded kitchen sink disposal – but he’s already the master of his universe. Though, I think he’d complain about the lack of patio time.
Congrats on your move in! My support on your current task at hand/research
My theory is that any box that isn’t unpacked 1 week after the move is doomed to just never … ever… be unpacked.
You were right – it is direct extortion. Moving companies are notorious for hijacking furniture for a ransom. You should check out movingscam.org to see if the company you used is listed. You are lucky that you received your furniture.
I agree with lawyerchik1. And, if you find that box a year from now, don’t bother opening it, just put it in a donation bin. Somebody somewhere will be happy about that.
Movers.suck.
Fish… let the sweaters live in the box until October or November. They’ll just take up space in your closet that you are going to need for all of the skirts/sundresses/tanks/tees/capris/
shorts. On another note, depending on where your living here in the metroplex, I highly recommend dropping by Desperados on Greenville Ave. on a Wednesday afternoon/evening for their great $1.99 house margaritas. I’m no light-weight and it only took 3 to put me under, so watch yourself!
…EVERYTHING….
I agree…EVERYTHING must be bigger in Texas… Just look at the condom holders some of them carry in their back pockets! Man! ;>
Two weeks in Texas, and already there’s a howdy in your blog
There’s nothing wrong with sweaters in the dining room…you never know when you might get chilly while serving a seven-course meal to all your new uber-friendly neighbors.
So I ran across your blogs a couple of weeks ago, and I finally got all the way caught up. Reading your blog has been an interesting experience. You reminded me a lot of my sister, same age range, some similar personality traits, and the same first initial. As I kept reading, I found out you actually had the same first name. Then you were published and I discovered your last name. My last name is also Hunter. Oh, the coincidences. In any case, I found that rather interesting. Really justed wanted to tell you I love the blog. Also, to top off the coincidence list, my sister lives in the same general area you do now. Craziness I tell you.
Just shove the box of sweaters in storage. I think you won’t need them often in Texas.
Thanks for the great post!
no sweaters needed for a LONG while! time will be much better spent trying to find those much bigger things Texas is so famous for… A-hem…
perhaps Scott from the previous post has some insight.
Welcome to Texas! I have to agree, I don’t think you’ll be needing those sweaters anytime soon.
Unpacking sucks, it’s time consuming and boring. Watching the tube sounds like much more fun! But investigating whether all things in Texas are indeed bigger sounds even better…
This makes me miss you even more.
So, no longer in love with Oz “the wizards of moving”? I’m just curious because I’m moving from NYC next month and was prompted to call them for a quote based on your good experience. If they’re not all they’re cracked up to be I’d love a heads up…but I promise I won’t hold you responsible either way
Hope you used one of those vacuum-packed plastic bags for your sweaters. Supposed to be good for flash-freezing food too.
Wait, I thought you loved your movers! There was linking! What happened?
From This Fish: The, “our truck doesn’t fit in your parking lot, now you have to pay a $300 cash only fee to have us transfer it to a smaller truck” crap they pulled. They could have easily parked on the street and carried my stuff. And it wasn’t Oz that did it… it was the contractor they hired to drive the stuff.
You move to the ‘burbs and the next thing you know it’s all boob tube all the time. What happened to “I watch the Gilmore Girls DVDs from Netflix?” MUAHAHAHAHA
I just discovered your blog site via about.com, via google search for the word “writer”. I have been tentatively thinking about blogging. I have a question for you: Is it necessary to encourage comments? I’m not sure I’d have the time to make many comments to those who read.
Thanks, Jodie